Who are your unsung heroes?
July 13, 2016
When we talk of heroes, I imagine people doing big, important things, of the lifesaving variety.
I grew up on dramatic heroics, capes and cowls, and icons like Amelia Earhart, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman. People who stand up to the whole world, sometimes against unspeakable odds, and changed the world long after they were told to sit down and be quiet.
This video brought unabashed tears to my eyes and got me thinking. It’s not often that we get to see the results of our good deeds for others, if at all, but it’s the rare person who hasn’t benefited from the help of others who never expected thanks in return.
These are a few people who made a bigger difference in my life than they knew.
Bus driver #1
Randy was driving the last route of the night and, as usual, I had lost track of time. Running out into the deserted street, in the dark, in a bad neighborhood, I leapt onto the bus’s steps, making him jump. I made it!
But I hadn’t. He’d just returned from the last drop-off. When he understood why my face fell, he swung into rescue mode and stomped the gas pedal all the way to the nearest train stop. I thanked him profusely as I ran for the train. I never got to thank him in person after that – he stopped driving that route soon after.
Bus Driver #2
The second driver, Johnny, was driving my regular route during a particularly bad time in my life. Everything was falling apart. Mom’s illness had suddenly progressed, leaving a Bizarro Mom in our house, and my bosses had gone ’round the bend. Things were bad bad bad but I still needed that job. Every morning, I tried to breathe deeply to make it through another day, and held back a surge of stress-induced nausea. Johnny would drop us off, booming: Have a good day and don’t let anybody steal your joy!
It always made me smile. It was often my only smile of those working days, and I was grateful.
Mentor, Codename Sabrina
I’d worked several years years of retail by the time I started on my first industry-job but I was still a young pup in the white collar professional world.
My introduction to office life was tumultuous. It was rife with poor management and terrible people, and directly led to my discovery of Alison at Ask A Manager (Googling “is [terrible boss thing] normal?”).
There was one person I met in the course of that work who made it survivable. She was an institution at her job, working with us from her coordinating office, and she taught me so much I needed to know to succeed at my job and more. Without her almost daily feedback and steering, and diplomacy when our managers were being even more unreasonable than usual, I’m not sure if I would have overcome the many and barbed hurdles thrown up by my direct colleagues and managers.
With it, I went on to be a high performer both in that office and well into the rest of my career.
We kept in touch over the years, and I’ve always been grateful for her friendship, wisdom, and warmth.
I just had a phone conversation yesterday with my buddy Mark, whom I worked with for 13 years. Once again, he was positive when I was negative, he saw possibilities where I just saw problems, and he made me feel good about myself when I lacked confidence. We hadn’t talked in almost a year, but although we had a lot to catch up on it felt like it had when we were spending 20-30 hours a week together.
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The best friends are the ones who feel like they’re always in your lives even when time or distance keep us apart.
The taxi driver that got me to the train station on time for my interstate ride when I was running late. Thanks to him, I made it to my job interview (the one which I am working now, in fact)!
The little old Jewish lady that was basically my surrogate grandmother and who showed my brother and I so much love and affection during a critical time in our lives when my folks divorced.
My senior coworker (male) who straight up calls out clients to their face when they ignore my analysis or attendance in a business meeting.
I love all of yours. SO MUCH.
What a great post. That is good karma going out into the world.
One person really made a big difference in my life. But it wasn’t a little things it was pretty big and definitely something that is not recommended to do. But they cosigned a loan so that I could finish school. Eternally grateful. I actually wrote about it.
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I remember that post! It’s truly amazing that he did that, I wonder if you’d ever feel comfortable asking him to share his thoughts on it?
My grad school advisor took a chance on a girl who didn’t have a degree in the field she was trying to get into (my BA is only somewhat related), and who wrote a terribly embarrassing personal statement on her application. I STILL have no idea how I got that FULL 4 year MS scholarship, or why he chose me over all the other applicants, but it 100% changed my entire life in EVERY way.
That led to my current boss hiring me. And thereafter I’ve been employed to do something I would pay to do, forever.
The random shop owner who allowed me and my two friends to crash in his house while I was on a road trip around NZ (loooonnnnggg before I moved here) and we got stuck with no hostel bed availability and no money to pay for a hotel one night. One of my friends was bawling; it was pouring rain outside; he’s a saint in my eyes forever.
The airport express bus driver who dropped me off at a non-scheduled stop when I discovered my wallet was missing and gave me a half-used ticket to help get to the airport–the taxi driver afterward who allowed me to pay him with that airport bus ticket–and the wonderful person who returned my wallet, intact, that had dropped out of my bag at the bus stop.
The person who found my wallet when I was super poor and in grad school. My address was in my wallet; I could have lost it anywhere… They weirdly placed it on my car bumper. I drove to the grocery store before I realised my wallet was missing, then drove back home, and somehow spotted it on my bumper just then. Whoa. (Note: these are the only 2 times in my life I’ve lost my wallet outside of my home.)
All of the kind people who stopped to help a poor girl stranded on the side of the road driving the 2 hours to/from University in her beater car. This was before cell phones were prevalent, and this was a regular occurrence. I literally had no way of calling anyone or getting help other than the people who noticed me on the side of the road, waiting.
There are so many more, but this are the ones that stand out and that I’m particularly grateful for.
I’m *incredibly* lucky.
Those are wonderful! They give me a bit of faith in humanity again.
One of my heroes was my Aunt Bunny who just passed away. She was there for me at a very critical time in my life when I just needed someone to talk to. Sometimes it doesn’t take a grand gesture to be a hero, but just a kind person who is there.
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I’m sorry for your loss, Tonya. I’ve found that it’s usually the small daily, not the grand, gestures that have the most meaning.
My uncle and aunt are my heroes. They live in Southern California and my parents live in the San Francisco bay area. When I graduated college from UC Riverside about 12 years ago, they took me in for a couple years until I got my first job and was able to move in with my girlfriend (now wife). If they didn’t do that I might have had to move back home and my life would be completely different now.
That was so generous of them! I know it can be tough living with relatives for a couple years so I admire them for offering you a temporary home.
Aww, I’m all choked up! I can’t believe you’re saying that about li’l ol’ me!
I have to say that when you started in that job, you may not have realized it, but your predecessors were really incompetent and frustrating, so when you came on the scene, your intelligence and helpfulness were like a breath of fresh air. You learned the ropes quickly and were amazingly efficient, meticulous, and thoughtful. You didn’t need to *develop* into a high performer; you already were.
You may not remember this, but in one of your first FedEx packages to me, you enclosed a moon pie. A moon pie! It was just a little treat, but you didn’t have to do it, and it was such a sweet, friendly thing to do–at that moment, you won me over!
And you were so helpful to me, too, in countless ways. Being a member of my kids’ generation, you were skilled with technology and solved so many little day-to-day problems. You were tactful and diplomatic, too, in the way you often interceded between me and your crazy bosses.
I never thought of myself as your mentor, but just as an older colleague who became a friend.
I’m really glad that we’ve managed to stay in touch over the years!
I think I thought of you as a friend so early on that it blended with your role as a mentor and teacher. And I like to think that taught me something about being a better friend, too,
Now that you remind me, I do remember hiding that treat in a package for you but I can’t recall why! I’m willing to bet a nickel that it was some kind of apology for my crazy bosses.
Also it’s still very validating to know you also thought they were terrible ?
Wow, you’re making my day (and week, and year)!
One of your bosses, Dan (who was much nicer than the rest of them), used to send me treats occasionally, and maybe he suggested it. He sent me a Hershey bar once (big fail–it melted all over the papers he enclosed with it!), and lots of individual packets of Tylenol, because he knew I’d need them. But I think he left that office shortly after you arrived.
I didn’t get to meet him but his being nice does explain why they were all so willing to badmouth him to us so freely about his departure, when we’d never met the guy. They also made it quite clear how unprofessional they were by doing so. We had literally been working there only a couple of weeks and they resented his leaving, so he was the butt of every rude joke for the bosses for a long time. Hope he’s doing well too!