My kid and notes from Year 2.5
August 16, 2017
Books, books, everywhere
We read three books to JuggerBaby before bed every night. On the rare occasions PiC isn’t there for bedtime, that can go up to seven as compensation for loss of daddy, but that’s only happened a few times in zir short life.
We once agreed that after being long distance for nearly a decade, we were ready to settle down and stay that way, in near proximity to our family for a long time.
We repeat lots of books; I’ve read that repetition is good for young children because it helps reinforce language. I can certainly see it developing as ze memorizes the stories and bursts out with truncated rushed narration every few pages.
It makes me wonder what my parents did at this age. Supposedly I already knew how to read so maybe they let me read to myself? We didn’t own many books, though, just the encyclopedia and a dictionary. I remember reading newsprint and smudging everything, though.
Sweet sleeper
For a whole week this month, I was instructed to stay in zir room with zir, after bedtime: Mama sleep dere peez. I’d just lay down and pretend to go to sleep for five or ten minutes, sometimes fifteen, and after several “Mama, what doin?” queries, ze would pass out. On Night 8, PiC passed out during reading and bedtime, so he groggily offered to stay for a while in my stead. Nothing doing, though. Night 8, ze kicked us both out: Mama, Dada, sleep own bed. Good night!
PiC: Can Dada stay?
JuggerBaby: No, Dada sleep own bed, good night!
Well then!
I don’t know why it continually surprises me that JuggerBaby’s sleep habits change so frequently. I’ve never been a good sleeper. Since early childhood, I’ve been prone to nightmares, restless sleep, and insomnia even before the pain became a problem. Was it just wishful thinking to hope that ze would inherit PiC’s amazing powers of falling asleep anywhere, anytime? Probably.
Manners
I love that daycare teaches the kids new concepts, but I don’t love that they don’t come with manners. This month we’ve been working very hard on the concept of manners.
Instead of “I don’t WANT it!!!”, we prefer “No thank you.”
Instead of “I WANT THAT”, we prefer “May I have….”
It took weeks but ze finally started voluntarily asking for things politely:
“May I see?”
“May I hold it?”
“May I have more stickers, please?”
“May I have mama’s purse?”
“May I sleep in big bed, please?”
Bathtime playtime
The bath is incidental, from JuggerBaby’s point of view. Ze just expects to splash in zir tub of water while a bath happens to zir. I used to vaguely plan to get zir some bath toys but ze has been perfectly content with a handful of blocks, a boat, and a few empty shampoo bottles. It used to be about building and stacking, now clearly the imagination has set in as ze “cooks pasta” by using small containers to fill larger ones and we pretend to eat “pizza and pasta and butter and avocado!” (Ew)
What’s even more interesting is that ze clearly understands the concept of “pretend” now. The “pasta” and other food groups are water but ze understands that this is pretend only, so we don’t really drink the water. “Oh, no drink?” “No, just pretend.” “Oh ok.”
I know for a fact that I didn’t grasp that “pretend” wasn’t real until well after 7 or 8. My jerk sibling took full advantage of this, of course. It’s one of the reasons I felt stupid for so long – he was a master at manipulating me from very early on and it took too many years to catch on.
I’m hoping we’re giving JuggerBaby the tools to spot these things without falling for an abuser’s tricks first. I often wonder if our coddling means ze won’t believe us that terrible people exist, when I’m closely related to some of them, because I won’t let them near zir.
Precious #parenting moments
- JB + tape measure: it taller and taller and taller!
Me: Be careful, that can cut you.
JB: and taller and ‘igher and taller ow - JB: MY CHIN OWIE!
Me: what happened?
JB: I pinch it.
Me: so don’t do that.
JB: Oh. - Things I’ve washed out of JB’s hair: yogurt, rice, red wax, guacamole, orange pulp, cheese, sand, fur, corn kernels, scrambled eggs…
- Me: JB, you have two minutes before we turn off the tv.
JB: NO!
Me: *mother’s glare of THAT WAS RUDE*
JB: ONE MINUTE!
Me: …. Ok.
I can tell you by age 3.5 they start being way nicer and understanding emotions to the point where they won’t want you to be sad or cry. “Mommy happy? Mommy no sad? Mommy no upset? Love mommy love mommy!!!” Is a common refrain now when Baby Bun checks to make sure I’m not sad because of his naughty actions
This only applies to me though. Don’t care about Daddy as much
As for manners, I have to remind mine each time to say please. I won’t do it unless he does so now he gets it if he asks nicely
The other day: no go to school PLEASE!!
Me: no can do, kid. Suck it up.
They’re working on identifying emotions this year, so with any luck, ze will learn to care about them next year!
We also get the “please!” with the attitude š
I used to share a room with sister until I was about 5 and decided to claim the room across the hall (our “play room”) as my own. It was nice having my own room and being able to keep the light on late so I could read. I used to be so tired in school in the next day because I stayed up late reading, but reading was my escape from any unpleasantness happening at home and I indulged in it as much as possible.
I love that you managed to separate by age 5. I had to share a room a whole lot longer than that because we lived in a 2 bd apartment and boy was that the cause of so many fights.
We still have to work on manners on a regular basis. “Please” and “Thank You” we get most of the time, now we’re on not acting like CaveKid at the dining room table: taking one’s plate to the sink after dinner without being asked, chewing with mouth closed, elbows off the table, etc.
I love the pretend games I still hear going on while my kid takes her shower.
I was hoping we wouldn’t have to still be working on manners in 4-5 years but I guess that might be a futile hope.
The pretend is fascinating to listen to.
I’ve always had trouble sleeping, and so does Baguette. Right now we’re both waking up in the wee hours of the morning, although she is going back to sleep more easily than I do. I think it’s stress for both of us.
Stress seriously disturbs my sleep, too, which was never good to begin with. š I hope yours passes soon.