Just a little (link) love: Golden Retriever edition
August 2, 2018
Small win: Late addition because I couldn’t think of one for a while. I saved $40 on Seamus’s pain medication because he and I were prescribed the same meds, so I shared mine with him instead of getting a new bottle of pills from the vet.
What were your small wins this week?
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Maggie and her family go on Dipnetting adventure for 2018. Love this.
I reject emotional labor.
She might feel like it sounds crazy but I think the end result is sensible.
Every time, I have to remind myself that the struggle is important because things aren’t magically easy.
Professor falsifies offer letter, claims others did it too. Not a strong defense. Was that $5000 raise really worth your integrity?
Every line in this money makeover made me twitch.
I tackled the question of whether our investments were optimized for taxes but decided in the end that maximizing our income is more important than worrying over a tax haircut. Mr Tako’s approach is similar.
This Gail Simone thread is why I don’t trust people until they’ve proven themselves to be trustworthy, and won’t tell JB “never fight/hit” but rather “don’t hit people unless they start it with you”. Horrible racists look just like anyone else. I also don’t disapprove of what she did. Those kids were all awful and that kid that caught the jump rope was choosing to bully smaller, younger kids. If the bullied little kid fights back, you deserve every welt. I have never understood the “turn the other cheek” thing because I was a tiny target for many bullies and darned if I was willing to let them get in another shot if I had any say about it. I mean, I do wish she’d been able to beat the crap out of the high schoolers who did hurt her and Dana but this kid was vile too.
Excellent links, as usual!
I love all the press emotional labor is getting lately, but I just don’t know how to translate to my life. I like a lot of aspects of emotional labor, although some of that may just be internalized socialization. Or maybe I just like it to be done my way, and I haven’t given my husband a chance to meet this standard (or figured out how to change mine). And my husband does a lot of the “stereotypical” men things around the house, and I don’t really want to jump into them as much, so it seems unrealistic to split 50/50.
The parts of emotional labor I don’t enjoy, I do eschew or make sure we split.
And I also try to avoid taking on emotional labor to an unfair extent at work. Right now is actually interesting, because I’m staying with 2 male colleagues in a house for work, but I’m also the project manager. So some of the emotional labor (planning, etc.) IS my responsibility, some is not.
I think that if you are happy with the split of work at home including the emotional labor then you’re fine. The issue I tend to see is when the emotional labor is all the women’s burden and the men don’t do their fair share, there or otherwise, without the woman having to do the work of assigning the work in a way that won’t ruffle the man’s feathers AND assuaging the ego around having to do the work.
That imbalance is what I reject, specifically.