My kid and notes from Year 4.1
April 15, 2019
Mismatching socks are a thing now
I don’t know which kid came up with this brainstorm but JB has been a huge fan of mixing up socks. I’m guessing this would bother some parents but I’m looking at the bright side – no need to bother matching up socks on laundry day, other than making sure that all pairs are complete.
Morning routines and bribery
There has been discontent in my heart having to shepherd JB from one morning task to the next. It’s the same dang thing every morning, why was it taking an HOUR to chivvy and scold zir from brushing teeth to using the toilet to getting dressed to breakfast and finally getting jacket, socks, and shoes on??
Ze has no problem getting these things done when motivated but ze is totally not motivated on school days. Sigh.
I’ve started adjusting some of my approach. Sometimes supportive, sometimes challenging, trying to take cues from the mood of the moody-sleepy child, and it’s slowly starting to be less frustrating.
Practice patience
We’ve been having some trouble with patience all around. PiC and JB, normally best buds, have been at loggerheads almost every day and we’ve had to have some venting sessions. I think we realize we’re both feeling the effects of our work stress, which uses up our limited willpower, and facing off with a contrary and sometimes melting down four year old is just not happening.
Between my weekly Good Things posts and being much more mindful of work stress spilling over into general irritability, I’ve been able to back down that feeling away from the edge.
Childcare
Our daycare has been having a lot of transitional problems – moving facilities was a big deal last year with two big disruptions of moving classes twice.
This year has been plagued with massive turnover, to my mind in large part caused by poor planning and management from last year’s move. They enlarged the facility without sufficient long term planning for the staffing resources and it shows. The teachers aren’t just child minders, they are teachers and they want to be educating the kids. Without the proper support from leadership, though, the best of the lot won’t stick around and I can’t blame them. But it stinks for us. I hate the change and disruptions on top of the usual changes and disruptions we can expect being on an academic school year schedule. I also hate how disorganized the leadership is with these transitions, they literally give us a week notice and want an answer immediately, but they give so little information that it takes two more conversations to find out what’s going on. Thank goodness PiC takes point on dragging that information out of them, he knows I can’t stand the director.
Speaking of which, more disruptions abound. Ze is the youngest by a long shot in zir class and a huge swath of this class is “graduating” and moving on to kindergarten this June.
That tells me that we have coverage until next June, since ze isn’t old enough to go to kindergarten yet, and then we may be facing a similar gap next year when ze graduates from the preK program in June and doesn’t start school until August. I wonder what the other parents are planning to do in that June-August gap. We won’t see most of them again, all of them live in posher neighborhoods and will be attending different schools and school districts. We may have the option of just staying in the program even after graduating from June to August, and we probably will do that for easy continuity.
Precious Moments
Omnivores have limits, too
JB: Dogs can’t eat babies.
Me: Right. Dogs can’t eat babies.
JB: Because dey might choke.
Me: Pardon me?
JB: Dey might choke.
Me: That’s not why we don’t eat babies!
Mixed priorities
JB: Is today a movie day?
Me: No, it’s only Tuesday. You need to wait for Friday.
JB: Is that when we’re going to kindergarten?
Me: Noo…. that’s after you’re 5. Why do you want to go to kindergarten?
JB: Because I wanted to be the oldest kid in my class.
Me: You know, going to kindergarten won’t make you the oldest kid in the class. If you go now, you’d really be the youngest one there.
Wait, what?
JB: Who do you want to call? (On toy cell phone)
Me: How about your dad?
JB: Ok per-tend this is your dad dat already died. Halloooooo, we know you are already died so you’re sad and sick and we’re going to see if we can help you feel better.
Relative heights
JB: YOU are da biggest.
PiC: Yes…
JB: YOU are da mediumest!
Me: Yes, I am the MEDIUMEST.
JB: *I* am da … lowest.
Us: … yes?
Reassurances
Me: Brother has to go to the doctor today. The appointment is when you’re at school so you can’t go with him. Is there anything you’d like to tell him to encourage him?
JB: Dat it won’t hurt.
Me: That’s a good one. Anything else?
JB: If he has to get a flu shot, it won’t hurt. Or it might pinch a little but dat will be ok. And it will per-teck him so he doesn’t get the measles all over his body.
Me: Vaccines are protection, yes.
Shopping Theory
Me: I’m getting dressed.
JB: You’re getting a dress?
Me: No, I don’t have any warm dresses. I’m just getting dressed.
JB: You could BUY a dress at the adult store. You could get one with a rainbow. You could be patient and wait to find the perfek one for you with all the colors like blue and red and yellow.
My 4 year old has always loved mismatched socks. He will never choose two that match. This comes in handy for us because we often find holes in his socks (they are his brother’s hand me downs). When one is ripped we toss it but he can still wear the good one 😉
This is a thing!! I didn’t know!
I’m trying to save at least these socks because we really like them but darning is not my strong point.
Just one thought for the morning schedule: have you thought about putting together a morning routine picture checklist for JB? That was something that was suggested to us that I haven’t tried yet. Mainly because there were a couple of other suggestions made that I wanted to implement first. What I was told for my daughter (just turned 3) was that she doesn’t have a very good grasp on time yet, and that a picture checklist would give her something visible to track. Plus it would give her a sense of agency over her morning if she had the power to see what was next on the list and check it off when it was done.
If we do it, when we do it, I’ll probably do an evening routine one, too. I have no idea if it will work out particularly well– sometimes I feel like it’s a coin flip whether a given approach will work.
We tried something similar to that, and sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. It very much is a coin flip whether a given approach will work! 😀
JB is so funny!
The daycare we’re considering for fall keeps the kids and teachers together for full years. There are definite pros and cons to this, with the pro being less transitions. Man, childcare is such a difficult thing. I’m sorry to hear your current situation is having some bumps – I hope they get it together soon!
Ze is earning zir keep with amusing us 😀
We have lost so many socks for BwC that we have no other choice than to give him mismatch socks. He doesn’t mind tho because he’s more worried about playing with his toy cars and legos…hahaha!!
Lol..mediumest!!
Hah I never thought a kid would care about mismatched socks, I’m not sure why I ever did.
I’ve found the best cure for difficult children is waiting for them to grow out of it! My boys are 7 and 10 now and I can just ask them “What do you need to do for school now?” But the 4 year old, not so much. So many feelings! So much drama! (We tried picture checklists at that age and they were definitely a coin flip.)
Summer childcare is SO frustrating! I’m currently trying to persuade a local teenager to watch my kids for a couple weeks in June.
That’s definitely a good point – taking the long view is easier with a little more parenting perspective and I should be applying it to both sleep habits / regressions and behaviors.
Best of luck with getting the local teen on board!