By: Revanche

My kids and notes from Year 5.10

January 26, 2021

I missed a few publishing dates here and there so some of these will be out of sync for a bit.

The boredom limit

I had expected this but I was hoping it wouldn’t come this soon. JB was generally enjoying kindergarten because it was easy. Why not?

But I thought it was inevitable that at some point, they would tire of spending time in a class where they weren’t learning anything. We kept on with their tutor in anticipation of this very thing and lo, one morning they declared: I hate kindergarten! It’s so boring, we aren’t learning anything. Why didn’t the other kids learn before kindergarten?

We had a talk about privilege, about how everyone learns at a different pace, how the teachers don’t have the same resources or teaching styles as they had at daycare, and that not all kids have the same resources either. It’s going to be challenging for JB to deal with being ahead of their class solely because of the privilege of having had a strong academic education, when their social development is firmly in this age/grade.

It’s actually going to be hard on all of us because they displayed serious disengagement from the class after that announcement and we’re going to need to navigate this in some sensible way.

I am already selective about their homework. On their weekly asynchronous days, I don’t make them spend three hours trying to complete all the assignments or even the worksheets. It is important for them to learn there are times we have to fulfill obligations and follow through even if we don’t want to but there are far more important ways for them to learn those lessons. It shouldn’t be learnt through doing rote worksheets that doesn’t teach them a darn thing. I set them a specific subset of the work online, and limit it to that. I should say they do love worksheets but worksheets that are at the level they were doing at age 4 isn’t worth the time and effort.

But long-term? That’s going to be trickier. I don’t like the idea that we’re going to have to make them show up solely for the sake of showing up even if there’s no value in that time. But to some degree, that’s going to be a factor.

Socializing

JB is desperate for time with kids their age, and heck, social time with any humans who are not us. They’ve been deprived since March. They’re happy to spend time with us but they’re really craving same-age human interaction so every chance they get, they invite kids for playdates. “But AFTER coronavirus, if our parents let us.”

I’m both sympathetic and mildly amused because this is absolutely the opposite of me at that age. Uh, also me at this age. I have VERY little motivation to try and socialize beyond what little we have now. I’m good, thanks.

The third trimester

Smol Acrobat is every bit as active as JB was, maybe even more so. They don’t hide from PiC like JB did. I used to call him over for JB’s sharking around and JB would freeze the moment he came around. Then they would start up again the moment he left. This kiddo doesn’t have any issues with showing off the rolls, kicks and punches to anyone. JB’s been singing and reading to them a lot too, and they really seem to enjoy it. They go very quiet during the song or book, and if JB stops, they kick or punch as if in protest.

Apart from the random nausea, my appetite finally slowed down. Thank goodness. It was literally painful to eat as much as my stomach wanted because there’s not enough room for food AND child in there!

I should be better about small meals throughout the day but with the crushing workload, that slipped my mind, time and again.

Speaking of work, I’m pretty concerned that there’s no reasonable way for my team to manage covering my work while I’m gone and I need to think of better solutions. Sigh.

In Week 33, the dreaded PUPPPs came knocking.

Last time it was a surprise, a mystery, and pure hell. This time I was fairly hyperalert to any itching with a rash. As soon as the first bumps popped up, I noticed and jumped on it.

Aggressive moisturizer: I started with my Vaseline for eczema lotion. When the itch got strong, I slathered on full on Vaseline. After a week of this I picked up a Vaseline lotion with aloe to supplement the oatmeal based lotion.

No soap on the belly: I only gently washed it with a wash cloth, and otherwise kept it out of the hot water that I need to relieve my aching muscles.

No fabric support: to avoid constricting or irritating the skin at all, I stopped wearing anything with a belly panel. I only wore very soft cotton if it had to be form fitting, otherwise I stuck to floaty shirts. My skin was sensitive enough that any pressure whatsoever would set off itching so I stuck with below the belly clothing only. I even went and pulled out too small leggings because they wouldn’t reach my underbelly and that was perfect. This did mean a lot more back and muscle pain because I couldn’t tolerate support girdles but anything – anything – to avoid progression of the rash was worth trying.

Sleeping semi-sitting. I’m a side sleeper normally, and often end up on my back in normal times. Now, I’m not supposed to be on my back and the left side is recommended but once the itching commenced, I had to be careful about any pressure on the belly when I laid still on either side for more than a couple hours. I finally set up a giant pillow wedge so I could be reclined at about a 50 degree angle comfortably to remove any pressure from my belly at all. It was uncomfortable in other ways but again, anything to reduce the incidence of itching.

Pupdate

Seamus really enjoys his CBD treats but I can’t tell if it’s actually helping him.

For all his pain, discomfort, wobbliness, eye problems, incontinence, etc, he’s still happy and bossy and loves to eat and all the things that make him him. I’m glad but it also makes it tough to tell if certain medications are helping enough.

***

I am not a fan of the dogs’ current habit of chomping on my finger when I point. Seamus can’t see so well, so when I’m directing him to his bed for treat time, he first tries to bite my finger gently to confirm whether it’s the treat or not. IT IS NOT.

Sera started doing the same recently because I had a bandage on my finger. I don’t think she’s observing Seamus, she just lacks sense. She kept trying to nibble my bandage off. Dogs.

Precious Moments

Smol Acrobat is apparently an outdoorsperson
JB: I can sense baby catching crabs!

***

Health and Nutrition concerns
JB: It’s a good thing I like oranges!
Me: Yep, they’re good for you. It’s better to eat foods with the vitamins you need if you can.
JB: If you don’t get Vitamin C, you DIE!
Me: Yes, you can get very sick if you don’t get enough Vitamin C.
JB: YES, you would get sick, and DIE, and then you’d GIVE UP.
* I see we have communicated that giving up is a fate worse than death ….

***

JB: I’m sorry you can’t have any fun. I get bored playing by myself sometimes.
Me: I’m sorry. It seems like you’re having a little fun though?
JB: A little. I wish you didn’t have to work and could play with me.
Me: Me too.
JB: Maybe you wish it more than me?
Me: Maybe. Maybe we wish it about the same?
JB: I guess. We’ll never know.

***

JB’s Great Adventure

JB: I’m going to Disneyland!
PiC: Ok, will you be back in time for dinner?
JB: no, I’m going to eat at the hotel!
PiC: Oh, but what about lunch?
JB: I’ve already packed a lunch!
PiC: Oh… Ok, well, have fun… See you soon.
JB: Oh, I’m going to be gone for a year! Byeeeeeee!

:: How do you cope with lack of normal social interaction? If you have kids, how do they?

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