By: Revanche

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (40)

March 8, 2021

Week 51 of COVID in the Bay Area.

Week 51, Day 352: Smol Acrobat managed one five hour stretch of sleep at night!!!! Cue a silent celebration. This is especially appreciated because they only had two 30-minute naps between 12 pm to 6 pm yesterday and that was pure awful for everyone. We all wanted to cry.

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Grrrr, NewRez. When we refinanced, I specifically told them we were not escrowing. They told our insurance we have an escrow account anyway. WE DO NOT. If I weren’t on top of things, our homeowners and earthquake policies would have gone unpaid this year. I contacted our insurance agent to get them to fix this.

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I’m still waiting on our taxes to come back from the CPA. I had hoped we’d see it by the weekend since they said it’d be done “at the end of the week” but experience dictates that it’ll take another two reminders before I get the first draft.

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We have Chinese takeout leftovers for dinner tonight so I used the evening prep hour to make up a meatloaf for tomorrow’s dinner. I also accidentally over-ordered from Home Chef for this week so we’ll have three meals delivered on Wednesday.

Week 51, Day 353: I keep running the numbers on our investments and projecting returns using this Compound Calculator. I gave myself a micro midlife crisis moment because nothing I do to the numbers within reason will yield a more reliable and optimistic answer than “maybe we will have enough in the nest egg to consider retiring (if we can figure out the healthcare piece) in six years.” The “crisis” bit was feeling like I’m running out of time and these numbers trigger a bit of anxiety.

But it’s not like I won’t have anxiety if we pull the plug too early and it looks like we’re going to run out of money, though! I don’t know what’s up.

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Wow. I found a significant detail was overlooked in this year’s tax form and the error has gone back a few years so we now have also worry about filing amendments for the past three years as well. Good grief. But I hope it yields some refunds because this year’s tax bill is A WHOPPER.

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Today was full of bowling pins: setting tasks up and trying to knock them down.

I had to fill out the American Community Survey, pay my life insurance and car insurance bills, figure out whether our homeowners policy is sufficient, renegotiate my orthodontist bill, appeal our water bill, and and and ….

Week 51, Day 354: This was an “easy” day so I thought I’d actually chronicle it for the heck of it.

Smol Acrobat went to bed at 7 pm and woke up at 12:15 am so that was my cue. I changed their diaper, nursed them, and at 12:50 am, back into the Snoo they went. I couldn’t settle down so I read until 1:30 am knowing this would bite me later.

It did at 3:25 am when they were up again for another diaper change and feed. I creaked my way up and out of bed, and when they finished up at 4:15 am, I was almost too tired to put them back in the bassinet. But I did and they were back in again by 4:22 am even though they weren’t quite asleep yet. Not until they let out the obligatory shriek of protest at 4:25 am, after which they subsided into sleep.

I was out shortly after, with both my hands and wrists shrieking in pain. The previous night when I had to hold Smol Acrobat for a 30 minute marathon feeding session set off a fibro flare. Not good. By 6:20 am, Smol was awake and this time raring to start the morning with smiles and coos. My hands and wrists, however, were in agony. Luckily, as I struggled with the final diaper change of the night/morning shift changeover, PiC was up and took over. We discussed the morning for about five minutes as I searched out a half dose of my heavy duty pain meds – he had two meetings from 9-11 am, and he was also behind on critical work. Turns out the night before after he’d read to JB, they came in to bunk in our bed (thank you king size bed) and left him dozing on the sofa. He was so tired that he had gone to bed “early” instead of working past midnight as usual. He planned to try and do some emails while minding Smol during their morning session, I told him to wake me in 45 minutes so he could work if he couldn’t do both at the same time.

I woke up around 8:10 am and opened the bedroom door to find him lurking in the hallway with a sleepyish SA, getting ready to come in and put them to bed. But that wasn’t happening, JB was waking up too and at the sight of their older sib, SA was wide awake again. We gave in to the inevitable and let the two of them cuddle and play for a while. I took over at 8:45 am to feed SA so that he could make breakfast and then get set up for his meeting.

By 9 am, Smol was tired so they went into the Snoo for a nap, and then it was a race against the clock. Smol’s first nap tends to be an absolutely garbage short 30 minutes so I had to cram as much as I could into those precious minutes. I inhaled my breakfast, set up the computer for JB to start their schoolwork and sat down with my breast pump and work to do. It’s Wednesday so they don’t have a class session today, they just have schoolwork to do on Seesaw. I hate Seesaw with a passion but with bribery (a promised mystery prize if there’s no whining) those sessions now go by quickly without mental pain. JB had strict instructions not to interrupt me but of course by 9:37 am, about 3/4 of the way through my pumping session they came in to tell me that Smol was crying. They used good judgement!

I stop my session early and go fetch the baby. I changed their diaper and sat on the sofa coaching JB through some sticky bits of their assignment, review the ones they had done already and approved them for submission. Smol laid on the sofa, kicking and playing. I changed another diaper at 9:40 and prepped a bottle of formula for them. They weren’t ready to eat until 9:52. They’re being fussy about eating so only manage 1 ounce at first. JB asks for a break from Seesaw so I approve a 15 minute break. They set the timer, come to play with Smol, and bring two books over. One is for me to read to Smol and the other is for them to read to Smol. Break over, JB’s back to Seesaw and finishes up as Smol starts to get tired. They finish a second ounce of formula while I suggest that JB work on writing correspondence with me, and I make that a typing lesson. They’re assigned two people to type up short letters to, while I go put Smol to bed. At 11 am, I start the process of getting Smol in bed and when they finally drop off, I go back to coaching JB through typing in Word. Autocorrect is getting their goat. “IT’S PUTTING RED SQUIGGLES IN!” they bellow. I sit down and dash off a couple of cards myself, some friends are going through tough times and I want to send them notes.

I finish coaching JB on their notes and print them out so they can add some art, I use that time to get some more work done. We still need to replace our baby monitor so I periodically go down the hall to check on Smol. 11:50 am, their eyes are open but the bassinet soothes them back to sleep. I finish some more work. JB brings me their completed letters and we get them into envelopes. They want to have a snack but I suggest we get lunch going since it’s noon – they would like a PB&J sandwich and I sign off on this plan. PiC emerges from his work den a short while later and joins JB in the kitchen while I dash off a note to surrogate mom. I want to add mine to JB’s envelope. Letters are all set, I emerge to scarf down the lunch they made, and tell PiC I will take the next shift with Smol so he can get some more work done. He’s got an extra busy day today and I did my extra busy day yesterday. He can take over with the kids after JB’s afternoon lesson and Smol’s next nap. Smol blessedly naps until 1:55 pm during which time I’ve gotten a heck of a lot of work done and organized. I change their diaper and feed them, then we kill 45 minutes. I show them JB’s art while I write checks, we talk and sing, we play with their little owl. They go through another diaper / feed cycle, and flip from smiles to shriek so it’s time for bed! Their eyes are wide open as I swaddle and hum to them, they start doing fishy mouth so I insert the pacifier and hold it in for them for about 24 seconds and they’re satisfied to drop off to sleep. I go and dash off another couple rounds of work, while they log a 50 minute nap: I feed Sera, answer emails, pay bills, look into classes for JB for Spring Break, update our automatic savings transfers, print out some coloring sheets for JB for later.

Awake and chirping at 4:20 pm, I change their diaper and hand them off to PiC. He feeds them while I put on my headphones and sit down for my second pump session. I knock off work while I’m pumping, and text my cousin who’s having a bit of a time with work and life balance. The milk gets bagged up and frozen, I wash up bottles and pump stuff for what feels like the millionth time, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s 5:30 and time to make dinner.

JB had asked for an extra journal to make a book to share with Smol. I keep journals for each of the kids but JB wants creative control so they tackle the new book with a box of stickers.

PiC had already unpacked the Home Chef delivery and taken out some of the leftovers from earlier to warm up so all I had to do was dive right into the cooking while he minds Smol. Teamwork! I snack heavily while cooking because it’s been a long time since lunch. JB sets the table and goes off to bathe, PiC feeds Smol again. I get dinner on the table and take Smol because I don’t feel like eating first. JB emerges from the bath just after PiC’s scarfed down dinner and takes Smol in for a bath. I prep a plate for JB since tonight’s meal is rather messy, then retrieve Smol from the bath to dress them. PiC takes over and puts them to bed while I eat dinner. JB gets to watch some Wild Kratts while I eat.

The bassinet is a magical thing – PiC is back out to join me for the rest of dinner within ten minutes. Before the bassinet, I had to put Smol to bed and I’d be stuck the rest of the night with them because we were cosleeping. Also because of my hands, lifting Smol Acrobat in and out before this month wasn’t a possibility. I clear half the table, take my medicine, get my aligners in and come back out to do more clean up. PiC’s contemplating a late night Costco run to spare everyone else the trouble of running an errand. I don’t love the idea. I want my family safe at home after dark, but he has a point. He plans to wait for me to shower and wash my hair though. I can’t remember the last time I washed my hair. He reads to JB and takes off when I’m ready.

I’m ready for bed by 8 but spent 20 minutes typing this up and as I get in bed, I remember I need to do my #PFPlank!

Three more planks done, I think about the day. It was remarkably smooth in comparison to most of our days and yet I am pretty sure I never stepped outside today. I never had time. I still haven’t picked a new baby monitor. My lower back still hurts a lot (which is why I’m doing the planks), so popping Smol Acrobat into a carrier to take a walk feels very unappealing. Oh and I forgot to go pick up JB’s school packet so we need to do that on Friday. I also feel pretty sick from my heavy duty pain meds which is always irritating. I need the pain relief to sleep but having to take nausea in its place feels unfair. (Later update, the nausea kept me awake until 4 am. I guess I would have been up with the pain too but that was just irritating.)

Week 51, Day 355: Smol has the most noxious gas. I wouldn’t even say “for a baby” because JB was like this too, and Seamus used to join in the toots.

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I think I knew this word at one time but it had slipped my mind: Hiraeth (Welsh pronunciation: [hɪraɨ̯θ, hiːrai̯θ]) is a Welsh word for longing or nostalgia, an earnest longing or desire, or a sense of regret. The feeling of longing for a home that no longer exists or never was. A deep and irrational bond felt with a time, era, place or person.

I feel this about a lot of the PF blogging world; I miss some folks from the early days. But I’m really lucky that some are still around one way or another and it’s not just all impersonal or new folks I don’t know well.

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I finally sealed up the two flat rate boxes to ship to our 5th Lakota family. I need to write up the email update to the group for the donations to date.

Week 51, Day 356: Terrible night, truly. Smol woke every 3 hours which meant I was up for an hour each time. Usually I just sort of float from one short nap to the next but last night I was so tired I fell asleep after nursing them and woke 55 minutes later. They were safe. No matter how tired I am, my body locks in a specific cradle position and does not move when I’ve got a baby cuddled up to me. But it was disconcerting to record the start of nursing time at 205 and wake up at 3 am. We made it to 5 am whereupon Smol starting chuckling and talking.

Oh. Time to be up, I see. We hung out in bed for about 80 minutes and then like a switch flipped, they freaked out. Oh, time to eat and sleep again. Right-o. They nursed and passed out, I tucked them into a swaddle and tried to sleep too but sleep was elusive so when Sera came trotting down the hall to do her daily check to confirm all humans are still where she left them, I went and took her for a morning walk. The timing worked out perfectly, I got her squared away, then she told me that Smol was awake so I fetched them out to the living room so PiC could have a rare sleep in. I’ll rest later, he goes to sleep late and gets to sleep through until morning but he’s always got to be up early to mind all three kids. JB woke up next and played with Smol for a little bit, and then went to go get ready for school.

PiC woke up and took over for me with Smol while I dished up a quick hot breakfast and then I took my break in the form of paying bills, writing cards, and addressing envelopes for the cards that JB wrote. It’s soothing to noodle around with my spreadsheets.

I had to call it quits and take two rounds of laying down before and after lunch because my body, having been up since 5 am without good sleep before that, was no longer functioning. And I wasn’t even mean to myself about it. Progress!

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Today I learned that typing either of the following into a browser gets you a new GDoc or GSheet: doc.new and sheet.new. Love it!

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Next week we’re going to be at the one year mark of this pandemic affecting our lives. What a very weird place to be.

:: How is your mental / emotional / physical health as we round the corner to a year of this odd reality?

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