My kids and notes: Year 8.1
March 14, 2023
Life with JB
As I once predicted, when it comes to kid activities, I hate having to leave the house first and foremost. I hate the other parents as a close second. There’s an obnoxious sideline dad at JB’s self defense class who just talks to talk, constantly chattering and saying nothing of substance because he keeps cycling between bragging about his kid, commentary on the attendance and reasons it’s either high or low, and commenting on JB’s ranking. And he can never actually use JB’s name, it’s always “your kid”. As if JB doesn’t exist as a person except in relation to me.
There are other obnoxious sideline dads but he’s the worst by sheer volume of chatter. Can we not just observe in silence, for the love of (my) mental health?!
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On the one hand, I don’t want JB to replicate my refusal to ever ask for help until things are dire.
On the other hand, it makes me a little batty when they ask for help when they have all the tools to figure it out at their disposal. Answering a worksheet of questions about a story they read, for example, they asked me what a specific job title’s responsible for. I ask where the story is (it’s right in front of them). “Oh yeah!”
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Parent teacher conferences went well this month. Their grades for math, language arts and behavior (respectful, attentive) are all good. They’re happy to be in school and they’re enjoying the material they’re learning. They review it far more favorably than their first grade experience. I think it’s because their second grade teacher is very nice (not in a fakey sort of way) and they like that.
Life with Smol Acrobat
My aunt was right. Two kids is not just double the work, they are exponentially more work (and more frustrating) than one.
JB was tough. It took both of us to keep up with their entropy in motion, and we were much younger then. Then along comes Smol Acrobat and honestly, my worries that it’d be even harder were all justified.
This kid doesn’t eat well, doesn’t sleep well, clings to the wrong parent in all situations making it twice as hard to get through a day because you know they’re going to decide they need the parent who isn’t in charge.
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This article made me laugh for a minute: Your child’s academic success may start with their screen time as infants, study says. At first they’re talking about kids up to 18 months old and it’s too late for us now that Smol is 2 but this bit made me wonder if they’ve met more than a couple children:
And yet, sometimes parents just need to get the laundry done or attend a work meeting, and screens can feel like an effective distraction.
For very young children, it’s probably still best to avoid screen time, Harrison emphasized.
Instead, try to involve the child in house chores, she said.
JB was a very willing “helper” at very young ages but that was absolutely not a good way to keep them busy so I could take a meeting.
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Smol DOES have a few chores now that they love: feeding Sera and refilling the toilet paper in the bathroom. They even knew how to go fetch and deliver a roll to PiC when he asked for one. They’ll assist JB with the laundry sometimes. I’m enjoying the little wins. (Except when JB demands that the 2 year old have the same attention span as they have for their chores.)
Pupdate
Sera continues to be very stalkery this month. She starts to hover around noon, anxious for JB school pick up time. She used to go with me to pick up JB. Since they changed some rules so it’s too much of a hassle, we’ve switched to walking her together after we get back home from school.
Precious Moments
Will I ever get to use the toilet alone again? If it’s not one kid, it’s another, or the dog.
Smol opens the door: Mom.
Me: Smol. I’d like some privacy please.
Smol: yes. *Comes in, shuts door*
Me: wait, but you’re inside …
Smol: *hands me water bottle* eat.
Me: you want me to drink?
Smol: yah.
Me: *sigh* … Ok. *Pretends to drink*.
Smol: bye.
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I usually leave the kids to their own conflict management but sometimes BOTH of them act like 2 year olds.
JB grabs the blanket: Smol it’s MY turn.
Smol: ‘dactyl screech!
Me: From their POV, you just grabbed w/o asking. Give it back.
JB grumpily hands it back: Smol can I have a turn?
Smol: NO!
Me: Smol, it’s JB’s turn. When it’s their turn, what do you do?
Smol returns blanket.
I used to let Oldest watch “Mater’s Tall Tales” (28 minutes) every night so I could make dinner while holding the baby. Also generally I thought the biggest predictor of both IQ test stuff and SES is… parental income…. is there a correlation there with screen time/ parental free time?
I am sorry your kids are giving you such a hard time (normal but still unpleasant!). Mine got a lot easier once the youngest was old enough to be pretty independent. She leaves me a note under my office door now: “Mommy I am at the park with M, I will be home by 5.”
I don’t know if there’s a correlation between screen and parental free time, I’d be curious to see who exactly HAS free time!
Thanks, I sure hope that it’ll feel easier in a few years. Are yours much older than mine?
14, 11.5, and 8, so yes, much older!
Re: Asking for help and also helping with chores
My mom often had me do the laundry. I could NEVER remember what temperature settings to use for different loads. For years, I would ask her, and she would always tell me, and by “years,” I mean into high school. The information just would not stick, and then eventually it did.
I also think she decided early on that while it was (I now assume) annoying that I always asked, at least she wasn’t doing all of the laundry herself.
Also, maybe a cheat sheet in the laundry room would have helped.
Sigh, you make a good point. Sometimes some info doesn’t stick, that’s happened to me too. But yes, I would have made the same calculation. It’d be better that you were doing the work even if you couldn’t remember the details beforehand. š