The “How We Met” post
October 29, 2007
that I owe FB is here!
Names will be obscured for the sake of preserving my anonymity š
I’ve been friends with BoyDucky’s sister, let’s call her One, since 7th grade. She was quite a few years younger than her brothers, so we knew them by name, reputation, and portraits hanging on the family staircase. Those of us girls who were closer to One in our younger years knew the brothers personally, but I only knew them from the hilarious/sweet stories she’d tell about her ridiculously cool brothers. And in passing, when I had dinner with her family and he was in town, he’d invariably help remind her parents that I didn’t speak Chinese when they’d start talking to me in Chinese. But other than that, BoyDucky was just One’s brother, or another Boy.
Three years ago, I started a new job at a university, the sun was setting on my relationship at the time, and I was rather wishing that I’d landed this job when I still had friends at the Uni. I had no idea that One’s brother was completing a Master’s degree on campus at the time, nor that she’d passed the word to him that I was now working there. Nice guy that he was, he offered to take me to lunch to introduce me to the campus, and we started lunching every once in a while. Lunches became longer and more frequent as we talked about everything under the sun. My proof that he had no ulterior motives in taking me to lunch was that he’d do the same for any friend of his sister’s, and he can’t remember what I was wearing the day of our first lunch. He remembers what I wore to just about everything else after he started to like-like me. š
Eventually I developed a well-hidden crush on Boy even as I realized that my 4 year relationship was truly lifeless and that I was guaranteed a good day NOT seeing the Ex. I’d given the Ex so many second chances over the years that it led to a Christmas ultimatum in which I laid out my major concerns (not the first time) and asked if he saw any resolutions forthcoming, if he wanted things to change, and if he thought the relationship was worth the effort. He said no, no and no, and we ended our relationship.
Lo and behold, Boy guiltily confessed to having feelings for me some weeks later and, though shocked, I had to similarly confess. We agreed to a trial date on which he wooed me with proper flowers and a lovely dinner, and we’ve been lucky enough to have a relatively drama-free, loving relationship ever since. He’s wonderfully supportive and understanding, even to the point of accepting my boy hair š and appreciates all the efforts I make to take care of him. I, in turn, adore him. I also loved, but stopped, the monthly flowers that he’d bring me for our monthiversaries, and the gestures of homebaked goodies and lunches he’d bring to my office. I like to think my contributions of staying with him but entertaining myself while he studied was an equally valuable gesture. Neither of us are perfect, but we compliment each other’s strengths and weaknesses pretty well. He’s learned to sense my guilt complex a mile away and soothe it from 500 hundred miles away, while I have the right to smother his temper boiling over as I see fit, or bring sanity back to his schedule and life organization. Of course, he’s never experienced the vaunted MiniDucky temper so, until then, the pot shall continue to call the kettle black.
Happily, One got over her weirdness about the relationship several months later, and even let me know that she’s glad we’re together because I make him happy and keep him even-keeled. Now, why can’t other people see it that way? š
And that’s the story of how one Boy became BoyDucky.
FINALLY š
Such a sweet story…. š