My kid and notes from Year 2.9
December 20, 2017
Tantrum CITY
We have had the best and worst month. We did lots of fun things together, and they were legitimately fun. But they were also punctuated by some of the worst tantrums I have ever seen. You know us, we’re not going to let zir get away with that. There were quite a few times ze pulled a Bratty Chihuahua and sat down in the middle of the street, so I’d toss zir over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and haul that hollering sack home.
The worst of this is knowing that kids pull the boneless act even when they’re much older. This has to stop!
Last year, I chalked these tantrums up to brain leaps, they were temporary but usually preceded some serious mental growth spurt. This year, I don’t know what it’s all about. Maybe this is preceding a parenting growth spurt because I have had to cultivate so much patience. There are lots of times that ze can be reasoned with but we really have to be on top of that – we have to proactively tell zir what to expect, and what we’re doing next for zir to cooperate, you can’t just spring changes on them and expect them to get with the program. Even though we get up, go to the toilet, brush our teeth, and get dressed every single morning, we still have to outline the steps of a successful morning or else a balky tantrum is inevitable.
Shockingly, we had a perfect morning the one time that ze slept in so late that I had to wake zir. We never do that, but in this case, it was nearing 9 am and ze still hadn’t woken. It’s not clear whether it’s because ze didn’t have to call for me, I was right there when ze woke, or because ze was pretty well rested but I managed to hustle zir into some clothes, to the bathroom, and right into socks and shoes without a peep of disgruntlement. Ze happily ate a car breakfast (a cup of bagels cut into smaller bite size pieces), bounced into the classroom cheerfully announcing ze was skipping snack because “I ate awready!” and went to play. Would that every morning could be that good!
Learning & responsibilities
New lessons and skills
- Kraven the Hunter is a punk bully for coming after Spidey just for sport. Doc Ock is a villain and we don’t want to be a villain.
- Setting the table without taking a drink out of everyone’s glasses. This is a work in progress.
Current responsibilities
Note: ze isn’t good at all of these, but ze is good enough to do the following tasks in some passable fashion and is willing or eager to do them.
- Cleaning up toys and books after playing,
- Loading the washer and dryer,
- Picking up clothes for the hamper,
- Clearing the table after dinner,
- Cracking and scrambling eggs,
- Pouring in the right amount of water and stirring pancake mix,
- Selecting the correct tubes of ointment for Seamus’s allergy treatment and putting away the medical kit when I’m done,
- Picking out apples and peaches,
- Putting away groceries after shopping,
- Hanging up zir own jacket in the closet,
- Setting the table without licking all the utensils. Ze still gives ME the small fork and takes my big fork though.
Precious moments
JB: My tummy is full.
Me: Is your tummy full or are you just saying your tummy is full because you want to go play?
JB: Because I want to go play.
Me: Points for honesty, I guess.
PiC: You can feed yourself, you’re a big kid now.
JB: I not a big kid. I a goreeeeeelllla!
JB invading our personal space when we’re using the toilet: *squinchy patronizing face and voice* Yaaaaay! You used the potty!!
JB: Mommy! I don’t want anything to get me!
Me: What’s going to get you?
JB: The hippopotamus!
Me: ….. we don’t have any hippos here. Not inside OR outside.
JB: Oh. Ok.
Bedtime w/JB: don wan somephing to get me
Me: I don’t want anything to get you either
JB: why?
Me: b/c we love you
JB: we love each udder?
Me: yes
JB: I luff you!
Me: And I love you!
JB: me too!
I found that there wasn’t really such a thing as terrible twos – it was the threes. As both my kids got close to and then turned three, the tantrums, rigidity of schedules and some of the other stuff got a lot more frequent. I think it has to do with being able to comprehend way more but not be able to communicate it.
I know a handful of people who got those tantrums in the 3s instead of 2s, but we just got lucky! There should be a rule we only get one or the other.
It really is amazing how many things not-quite-three year olds can do if you let them, isn’t it? While our kitchen ends up way messier and the laundry takes for-ev-er to load, I love that he’s getting such a great start on life skills that it’s yotally worth it. The egg cracking was something beyond what I expected though!
It really is amazing how many things not-quite-three year olds can do if you let them, isn’t it? While our kitchen ends up way messier and the laundry takes for-ev-er to load, I love that he’s getting such a great start on life skills that it’s yotally worth it. The egg cracking was something beyond what I expected though!
It sounds like our kiddos are realllly close in age. That’s awesome 🙂
Yes! My almost 3 is pretty uncoordinated so it amazes me even more 😀 We can share war stories 😉
Enjoy the kid. They grow up fast. Pretty soon you’ll get a ton of back talk.
Yesterday, Junior helped with homemade gyoza. That was very cool. I need to push him more. 🙂
I already get alllllll the back talk 😀 I hope Junior enjoys working in the kitchen with you!
Awe, they grow up so fast! This will be a nice place to read how far he’s come in a few years time! Good to know they can do so much and be helpful!
I think I am the only person who has not downloaded the Wonder Years (is that what it is called?) to see about the leaps etc.
Your toddler is learning about his own autonomy.
I used to think it twas trite to think kids were growing so fast but as a parent now, oh my goodness it’s true!!
I didn’t download the Wonder Years myself because my dear friend did it as soon as I was close to delivery so she updated me. It was as good as having it myself 🙂
THE THREES. OMG THE THREES.
THEY ARE THE WORST. Mine used to have tantrums all the time but I never caught on that I had to lay out what the routine was like:
First, we ____ Second we _____ then we _____ then we ____ .. that seems to help a lot but I didn’t catch on until muuuuuuuuuch later.
It does get better though. Little Bun is nearing 4, and now we can explain and reason things to him like: We don’t put our toys in the middle of the floor because what happens if Mommy walks and trips on it and hurts herself? We don’t want that do we? Please clean up and keep the place tidy.
Then I can refer back to it later: “What did Mommy say about things in the middle of the floor?”
Mine never wants to go to preschool so.. yeah. I can’t do anything there.
Sleep is so important though, I find that if Little Bun sleeps a lot, and sleeps well, he is a freakin’ angel.
We experimented a lot to figure that out. And sleep is SO crucial.
I found that my son only had tantrums when he was tired, hungry or overwhelmed so I did my best not to put him in those situations.
Also allowing him to feel as if he had more control by giving limited choices helped i.e., do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt? Do you want to brush teeth with Daddy or Mommy? etc. The more of these choices we gave him, the calmer he was.
Good luck – parenting isn’t easy but very rewarding….and I love the conversations you wrote down. Just beware of the hippo 😉
Thanks, Libby. I think it’s true, as long as they are fed and rested, they’re actually pretty good.