My kid and notes from Year 3.8
November 14, 2018
Multi-lingual family (kinda)
I’ve been determined to pass on our respective languages to JB but it’s been tough because ze has struggled with enunciation for a long time. We limited our exposure to different languages to help zir focus but the “failure” to pass it on in this critical time period when ze can absorb language like a sponge sits heavy in my stomach.
I just about jumped for joy the other day when JB spontaneously piped up with the (wrong) color in Second Language even though I didn’t actually understand the first three times until PiC suggested ze might not be gibbering English but rather trying to speak Second Language.
Chronic illness makes no sense
I have to explain why I can’t do things for JB sometimes, like when I’m in too much pain to do piggybank rides or carry zir, and ze really tries to understand. Sometimes it’s too vague, though, and the explanation that my fingers are swollen so I can’t use a particular utensil stretches the limitations of zir understanding: You mean a bug bite you?? Das why your finger swolled up?
Swelled up. No, sometimes my body hurts and it swells up, it’s not a bug bite.
But if a bug bites you, then you get swellened!
Yes, but that’s not the only reason something might get swollen. This time it wasn’t a bug bite.
A bug bit you!
Noo….. that’s not what happened.
I can’t help but laugh because this condition makes no more sense than that to us adults, either. Random parts of me hurt all the time and for no apparent reason. Might as well be a mysterious bug bite!
Portion control, appetite and satiety
We’re working with JB on the concept of eating at moderate speeds, taking time after finishing salad, pasta, rice, and fruit to let your tummy catch up to the reality of the food you’ve eaten. Ze doesn’t quite believe me that it’s important to stop eating if you’ve barreled through a whole meal and wait ten minutes before deciding you’re starving and need second dinner.
We’re also talking about the concept of NOT using food for comfort but rather seeking comfort in hugs or humor and other intangibles, though PiC thinks that’s too advanced for this age. (It might be.)
Can I help?
YES. The answer is always yes.
I notice that we have a tendency to put JB off when we’re in a hurry because it’s easier if we just do it all ourselves. BUT those are learning opportunities – both for zir to learn the actual skill of whatever we’re doing be it cooking or changing out brake lights, but also to learn that chores are a thing we do with willingness and happily in this household. We all pull our weight around here and that’s something that ze will only develop if we actively encourage zir when ze expresses interest in doing those things with us.
New lessons and skills
See previous months for zir current responsibilities.
JB already knew how to do all these disparate tasks but it really came together this month: ze comes home and puts away socks and shoes, washes up, offers to help me make dinner if it’s not ready (ze gets to mix sauces and cut up cucumbers, beets, tofu, spam, and other relatively soft items), gives the dogs their medications (with some direction), carrots, and late night treats. It’s gotten so that I only have to prompt a little bit and ze takes care of the whole thing.
When we came home from travel, ze helped me unpack the laundry, load the washing machine, unpack and put away all the toiletries and various papers and electronics. I’m rather impressed, honestly.
Precious Moments
Throwback a few months
JB: Maybe Baby V can come and I will put this on her (bib).
Us: Maybe!
JB: But I cannot pinch her body (with the button closure) otherwise she will CRY.
Us: Yes, because that would hurt.
JB: Maybe her mommy and daddy will come too and they will say haaahehehheheheheheheh
Us: Why… Would they laugh maniacally?
JB: I want MOMMY to read to me.
Me: that’s weird.
30 minutes later I figure it out. It’s because PiC doesn’t know all the names of the characters in Night Night Groot.
I try on a new shirt, dubiously.
JB: I love that shirt!
Me: why?
JB: Because I love you.
Me: oh, so you love the shirt because I’m wearing it?
JB: yes. I love all the shirts dat you wear.
Our conversations always take a weird turn
JB: Do we have a backpack?
Me: Yes, we have your backpack and daddy’s backpack.
JB: And yours!
Me: No, we’re only bringing one adult and one kid backpack
JB: Why?
Me: We only bring what we need and we don’t need more than one adult backpack.
JB: Oh. Yeah we don’t need TWO adult backpacks.
Me: Right.
JB: And I’m 3.5.
Me: What? …. Yes.
Pretend and pivot
JB: OH NO A DINOSAUR!!!
Me: Where??
JB: No no I jus puh-TENDING there’s a dinosaur! And it’s chasing us!
Little cousin: no no! No! I don’t want it!
JB: It’s ok! It’s a NAICE dinosaur. It’s walking behind us and is not spitting blood, so it’s ok! (me and PiC *raised eyebrows*)
Little cousin: No! Das scary!
JB: It’s FRIENDLY! It eats plants so it won’t die.
Me: Maybe we should pretend it’s something else?
JB: YES! It a horsie!! Ok cuz? A horsie and it eats plants. Look, it can eat ALL DOSE PLANTS and dey will die.
Little cousin: Yah!
Me: *shrug*
Thumb war
I taught JB about thumb war a few months back and this kid is a CHEATER.
Me: why is your thumb already trying to squish mine?
JB: *hysterical cackling* One-two-three-four-I-beclare-
Me: HEY!
Me: Yes you will.
JB: No! I won’t!
Me: Mm-hmmm…
Friday night play
Using my craft scissors, JB wanted to cut bits of paper into my hand.
Don’t worry, I won’t trim you.
We’re cutting gems!
You’re a stonecutter, that’s special. What kind?
Blueberries and mango!
Yum!
Now we’re going to make pizza for Daddy. Hands me a second pair of scissors.
Let’s cut together.
Roleplaying and reality
JB: How about you’re the baby dinosaur and I’m the mommy dinosaur.
Me: What kind of dinosaurs are we?
JB: You’re a Mighty baby Trex and I’m the mighty mommy T-Rex. The doggies are not dinosaurs. They are dying.
Me: ……..
Perspective
JB: I got water on my shirt!!!!!!
Me: It’ll dry
PiC: That’s what we call “no big deal”. N. B. D.
JB: ENN. DEE. DEE.
(Me: You know that’s going to come back and bite us.)
Give up the veggies, Dad
PiC, clearing the table: I’m finishing the zucchini.
JB: Can I have one?
PiC: We’ll make more tomorro-
Me: IF THE CHILD ASKS FOR VEGGIES YOU GIVE THEM THE VEGGIES.
You NEVER turn down a child asking for veggies, what are you, mad? Isn’t that an ironclad rule somewhere??
I know what you mean about teaching kids. Most of the time having a little helper slows things waaay down, but then they do something that actually saves me five minutes of work and it’s the best feeling ever! 🙂
Re: food – We’ve used the description of having their tongue and their tummy both talking. Sometimes our tongue says, “Yummy I want more!” but our tummy is saying, “No I’m full.” It’s concrete enough for a preschooler to grasp, but I figure it’s a good first step towards distinguishing between physical hunger and the other kinds of hunger.
Yes, always give your child veggies when they are requesting for it. Whenever our son asks for carrots we hurry to the fridge and prepare it for him to eat. It’s almost winning the lottery whenever that happens. Ha!
Since I’m Filipino and my wife is Chinese, our son has the exposure to know three languages: English, Chinese(Cantonese) and Tagalog. We speak english at home and with my in-laws taking care of him during the week, he’s learning a lot of Cantonese and he actually singing it too. With the Tagalog, I only understand it and can’t really speak full sentences so we try to go to my parents house on the weekends so they can help teach him some basic words. We hope when he gets older that he will get a good grasp of all three languages.
Languages are hard. He will learn more French because his friends in school will be mostly Francophone so I’m not worried.
His English is super strong so we are fine there too.
Your conversations with JB are the same as with Little Bun… so similar!!!