My kid and notes from Year 3.9
December 17, 2018
Reading fairy tales and life lessons
I want JB to think about what we read, so as much as I can, when we’re reading stories that don’t necessarily have the kind of message I want zir to take away, we ask a lot of questions.
For example, a Disney book from Grandma had a story about Snow White and Prince Charming. Prince Charming wants to give Snow the perfect gift to show his love. I ask: Do we need to buy people fancy or expensive things to show them that we love them? (No.) Do hugs and kisses and telling you “I love you” work to show that we love you very much? (Yes.)
Honestly I’m not sure how much critical thinking is happening here but we are doing our best to nudge it into blooming.
Screen time
We still limit screen time to the weekends only and in fact, just after dinner on the weekend when I’m not so exhausted all day that I have to lean on the tv for a break. Now that ze can entertain zirself in hours of play, we can limit the viewing to just a few hours a weekend total spread out across a few days, if that much. We do strictly limit it to shows that JB can handle. Ze is not allowed to watch Coco anymore despite how much we all love the music and beautiful art because ze mimics Miguel’s rebellion and talking back and we can’t have that 8 year old back talk at age 3. We love Hilda on Netflix right now, it feels very Swedish though it isn’t, and zir Uncle recently said that he and Auntie were enjoying My Little Pony lately so we gave that a try.
We have learned 3 pony names now but there’s a lot more to go! I honestly had never watched MLP as a child but I was already very disposed to enjoying the reboot because Katie Cook, a family favorite, worked on it a while ago and we’re all about supporting our favorite artists and creators.
Imagination Station
PiC does a LOT of interactive play with JB so I see it as my responsibility to foster independent play. It looks like I’m ignoring zir, and sometimes maybe I am a little bit, but I’m also creating a space where ze can let loose the imagination and just do whatever zir heart desires (within reason obviously). This might be creating new games from my board games (they become a kitchen set and ze makes pancakes!), stacking books and blocks to create structures, singing songs to the world while ze runs around “tidying the house”, coloring, making paper airplanes, hanging art on my walls.
JB soliloquies
I’m putting this into my toy store right now and I can’t look at you while you’re talking because I’m working on my toy store and there are some ponies and they are in this bucket and they’re in an aisle where they found them. And if you don’t have money for them then you can buy other things. This is my money in here. Pretend this is my money, ok? DANCE! It’s a dance party! Pew pew! Dere are bad guys on your ceiling so I’m pewing them!
Persistence?
JB, hanging out in my office: I’m figuring out who wants to come to my birthday.
Me: Hoooowww….are you figuring this out?
JB: Classmate says she doesn’t want to come to my birthday but I’m putting her on the list
Me: How do you know she doesn’t want to come? Did she tell you?
JB: Yes but I’m putting her on the list.
Me: Ok.
Pronunciation still needs some work…
JB: What are we going to have today? Let’s make raby-lo-ly!
Me: What.
JB: It’s a kind of pasta!
Me: RAVIOLI!
JB: RAB-Y-LO-LY!
JB has been banned from watching Coco because I was tired of hearing all the attitude mimicry. Ze made a bid for it:
Mommy, can I watch a little Coco? I will not do any bad behav-ee-ors. I will not say “you don’t know anything!”because dat’s rude and will be a bully.
Banishing the Can’t
I won’t tell JB that there’s no such thing as can’t or that you can do ANYTHING you ever want because I don’t believe that’s true but when ze is frustrated with a task or a game, I do admonish zir to sit with it for a minute and take a breath because just because you’ve not done it yet doesn’t mean you can’t. Then I make suggestions for ways ze can try to do it differently so ze doesn’t give up. This only applies to reasonable things like sorting puzzle pieces or picking up a hundred toys – you can feel frustrated, that’s valid, but don’t let that stop you.
Of course ze turned this right back around on me the other day when ze wanted to do something I didn’t want to say yes to. I started to say, no, it’s too hard. JB countered: But I can do hard things!
:: When did you start watching tv and movies as a youngun? What’s your favorite kind of rabyloly?
My parents started parking me in front of a TV around 2-3ish? I probably had way too much screen time, but I ended up learning the good side of Disney morals (which were better than my family’s), soooo upside??
I am excited to watch the entirety of Steven Universe with future-kids and give them adorable cheeseburger backpacks when they start school.
I can’t remember how early it started but I definitely remember being allowed to watch some seriously inappropriate stuff – Bruce Lee movies when I was 4 or 5? Hello lifelong nightmares.
I remember starting watching TV when I was around 3. I learned all my ABCs and numbers through watching Seasame Street. In fact I watched a lot of TV growing up with all the Saturday morning cartoons in the 80s and throughout the week. With movies I would say the first one I saw was “Muppets take Manhattan” when I was around four. It was surreal going into a theater and looking at some big screen at that age.
For BwC, we don’t want to expose him to that much TV, only nursing rhymes on YouTube for now. We barely turn on our TV that much, we only get TV exposure on the weekends when we stop by my parents house where their TV is on all the time.
I do wish I learned anything from TV 😀 We listen to a lot of songs on our phones but we didn’t let JB do a whole lot of watching.
This reminds me of when my little bean was that age; lots of work and lots of love. Somehow over time, the Screen time has gotten a little ahead of us the biggest challenge I have ahead of me is Youtube. TV can be a valuable tool if used wisely.
I don’t think TV is evil, I just know there’s a strong tendency on both our families to stare at the screen until our brains go to mush!
I don’t know when I started on television, but know it must have been pretty young. I was a 70’s baby and we didn’t have cable, so it was commercial network kid shows and pbs.
I’ve been feeling guilty about my reliance on screens this week with my 3-year-old. She’s been sick with a fever and cough. She’s spent a LOT of the last few days watching toddler youtube songs and dozing. She’s so cranky when she’s awake, and I think that television helps distract her from how she’s feeling.
That said, I feel like someone who knows she ought to be feeding her kid vegetables, but is instead trying to justify giving Twinkies. I wish I felt like there was a “sick kid” dispensation in the data and guidelines.
Personally I saw there is a sick kid dispensation for these things! That and eating on the couch which is never allowed unless you’re sick 🙂
I loved Neverending Story and Princess Bride as a kid — though I wasn’t as young as JB at the time. I don’t remember watching anything other than Sesame Street when I was her age.
I think it’s good that you’re limiting screen time but not banishing it altogether. I suppose you couldn’t for sanity’s sake.
I remember not understanding The Neverending Story when I was a kid – but I watched a lot of age inappropriate things that gave me a LIFETIME OF NIGHTMARES.
Oh my goddd I LOVEEE this post. I’ve never even met either of you and I feel like I have a glimpse into your lives! So cute. And love that “we can’t have sassy 8 year old rebellion in a 3 year old” hahahahah. TOO TRUE. But I’ll let it be known that having taught 3rd grade, that 6th grade-level talk-back is true and prospering in those 8 year olds. It’s remarkable. Too much TV and social media, I’m sure. LOL.
I love that you and your hubby have different ways of interacting and enriching zir life and growth. That’s amazing, and just the fact that ze can sass back and logic that much as 3 years old is remarkable.
And TV’s definitely not the best, but it’s not all bad! As long as it’s not an addiction like it is for the rest of us! 😉
<3
Oh I know that those kids are sassy-mouthed way beyond their years but we will NOT be having that in our family thank you much, I can't stand it.
I'm hoping that by not limiting TV but teaching zir how to watch it mindfully, ze won't just get sucked into becoming a TV-zombie but I realize that's even hard for adults.