Just a little (link) love: nifty shoelaces edition
March 21, 2019
It’s about time people understood we need to talk to BOYS about rape. Stop telling girls and women to dress differently or hide themselves, teach boys to seek consent and stop raping.
Laurie’s right. It’s not all roses all the time. I went through tons of uncomfortable times and some downright miserable times in the workplace and it was all in service of building a better life and understanding what that better life looked like. I wouldn’t have known this 15 years ago without that slog but our better life includes less work and more family time, less nonsensical social obligations and more deep connections to the people who value what we value.
Emily Guy Birkin: It’s Time to Share The Burden of Emotional Labor
Facial recognition, unregulated. Why do people have to ruin everything.
76K is fighting through a tough time with work.
Dr. Tressie McMillan Cottom: Raising Really Good Hell for People Who Cannot. I will read anything by Dr. McMillan Cottom. It may not be comfortable but it will be intelligent and it will likely have a whole lot of truth. Most of all I do think she sounds like herself in her writing, as much as I can tell who herself is, and I admire that a lot in a writer.
I love this shoelacing
I’ve been doing it wrong all my life…. pic.twitter.com/gB5J8N76oN
— Kitt Bob (@bob_kitt) March 17, 2019
I dunno, that Laurie article is making a pretty convincing case for not doing what you don’t love. Like, I’m on board with the concept (I did, after all, suffer through 5 years of graduate school), but the examples… I guess it’s my underlying belief that people who are miserable as SAHM should not be SAHM. Where’s the benefit? Maybe that could be re-examined.
I could see that. I read it as a case for not doing what you don’t love FOREVER but if you can find value in doing something you’re not loving at the time and it is meaningful to you in some real way, then sure, suffer through it. BUT and this is probably my caveat, make it temporary.
7.5 miserable years doing something that her previous job experience told her she already hated (working without other adults)… just… why?
And the part with her husband having to stay in a job he hates– that reminds me a ton of my DH’s experiences compared to his brother’s. My DH has me to help support the family. His brother has a SAHW and two kids to support. My DH was able to quit a job he hated without another lined up and now makes 2x as much money doing something he likes much better. His brother has so much stress as the primary earner and has kept his union job even when he had a terrible boss because eventually he can’t be fired (since they have a Last in First Out union rule). DH can take calculated risks but his brother can’t.
Different decisions could have cut down years of misery and stress. That’s a lot of years to suffer! Like, I agree with the general idea, but the examples are telling me the exact opposite. You don’t have to keep doing a job you hate if there are better options that are likely to lead to much better outcomes for everybody.
More power to SAHP, but only if that’s something that the parent actually enjoys doing. There’s no harm in working to pay for daycare. (My grandma often said she worked BECAUSE she had seven kids, not in spite of it.)