Just a little (link) love: perspective edition
April 11, 2019
Abby shares the scars left by an abusive father.
I can’t stop thinking about how vulnerable this young lady and others in her situation are.
OFG fixed her dryer! I have a problem with our dryer I haven’t had the nerve to tackle but maybe I will after a lot of research.
Wise NFL player: “I need to be maximizing every single day I have in the NFL because I don’t know when this NFL platform will be swept right under my feet.”
Simplistic Steph nailed my current unease with our FIRE projections. To (maybe) hit our ideal early retirement number “on time” relies on a projected savings and investing plan that: “Our numbers are assuming we never have kids, a drop in salary, or any major life event. Basically, our numbers are best-case-scenario, dreamland numbers.”
I’ve never been comfortable with planning based on best-case scenarios because that is just not how grown up life has ever worked for me.
Thasunda Brown Duckett of Chase: “Last week I came to work mad because my son was called the N-word at school. I told my team, told my peers, told the other C.E.O.s. We killed a whole hourlong meeting and we just talked about race. I said, “I’m an angry black woman today. I am mad that I have to have conversations that you don’t have to have. I am tired.”
I bring that to work. It’s who I am. I just bring the best version of Thasunda, all of me, to the table, because I want everyone else to do the same. And when you lead with authenticity, when you can share your vulnerable moments, it opens up everyone else to share their real life, too.”
I’m starting to try to be more authentic me and less Professional Me with All Shields Up and I admire people who come to that naturally. I’ve edited myself for over a decade, hiding my chronic illness side because I don’t want to show weakness, hiding my love of personal finance so I come across as a normal superstar-level person wanting a legitimately earned raise without a side of “because I need/want to have the option to retire early”. I don’t want those aspects of me to dominate who I am at work and color the approvals of raises.
I love the perspective cartoon so much I printed it out and stuck it on my laptop! It’s so true.
Yay!
Hm… I’m always trying to be more aloof and less myself at work. I’d rather keep my authentic self to myself and people who I want to see it. My natural state is authentic, and I think the authenticity a bit overrated (also my authentic self is overwhelming). There are plenty of people at work whose authentic selves are such that I bless professionalism. We only get so much ability to choose who we work with, and professionalism is a way to keep it bearable for everyone.
There’s probably some happy range in the middle of the authentic/professional spectrum.
Which isn’t to say that you or Ms. Brown shouldn’t be open about the difficulties you face that other people don’t face! But authenticity is a big catch-all phrase. I don’t think there can be one rule for it.
And authenticity means different things for different people. I don’t know what I tend towards anyway because I’ve edited myself so much. I’ve gone completely Blank Shields Up after working with toxic people and while that worked for me for a lot of years, I think as a leader and manager, I need to be less of a cipher to the people I manage but not be COMPLETELY me. Just a little more.