By: Revanche

My Kid and Notes from Year 6.8

September 28, 2021

Social Media

Oh goody. I thought I had a few more years before the social media conversation. They have been learning drawing from this YouTube channel and they ended a video with “post your pic to Instagram!” So of course JB came over and asked if we could take a picture of their art to “send to the art people”.

I said no, we do not use that service. But also since we have already talked about how advertising and marketing works, I explained that sort of thing is partly about sharing but partly it’s about advertising and we do not do free advertising for companies.

In truth, sure we do sometimes, but we’re not starting now at age 6.

I guess I have to start laying the groundwork for a healthy way to use social media now.

Related: Squidding Around

PiC picked out a new graphic novel from Scholastic for JB. We were reading it together and it happened to have the perfect theme for us to continue our talk about social media and how people are motivated to do things for attention. Without giving away too much, Squizzard, the main character is angry about not getting published and goes on to pull a misguided and hurtful prank. We talked about how adults will even do foolish things for attention on social media (without getting into specifics), how people lose sight of who is really important because of a thirst for 15 minutes of fame (people who actually know and love them vs people they’ll never know or meet) and how people can make foolish choices for attention.

We also discussed how social media itself is just a tool and tools are neither good or bad overall (though biased algorithms absolutely are a thing, that isn’t something I’m going to dive into just yet with a six year old), it’s about how you use them about remembering that you don’t know all the other people who use them too. We won’t let them start using anything until we’ve had a lot of discussions about behavior, how social media works, all of that. There’s this Jack Prelutsky poem we’ve read in the past that I reminded JB of that’s very relevant:

I had a little secret
That I could not wait to tell,
I whispered it to Willa,
who repeated it to Nell.
Nell had to tell Belinda,
Who told Laura and Lenore,
I think my little secret
is no secret anymore.

Missing out

I’ve been here for literally every minute of the past pandemic months. I’ve been here so very very much that my mental and emotional overload led to me feeling like I’ve actually missed out on JB’s growth and changes these months. It’s not the usual matter of perspective where you’re so immersed in the day to day that you look up and realize your baby is 3/5 your size, though there certainly is also that aspect. It’s that I was withdrawn for so many of the hard parts trying to protect what was left of my sanity after the work + parenting + endless educational logistics and scheduling + pregnancy then newborn life + nonstop chatter from a growing extrovert child. I feel like I was here but totally disconnected.

Life with Smol Acrobat

We have been leaning heavily on Gerber pureed green beans and other veggie mixes because Smol eats so little it doesn’t seem worth the effort to break out the blender to steam and puree our own. We feed raw fruit cut up into tiny bits and food right off our plates otherwise: rice, bread, pasta, noodles, shredded chicken, pork and salmon, etc. They might not be enthused about a food on the first try but usually they come around by the second go.

When they were better about handling solids, I introduced non mushy petite peas with their lunch and their attitude was definitely “meh”. At dinner though, they scarfed it up with rice and chicken.

Where they’re picky is in tolerating an infant meal for only so long. Once they have had time to observe what everyone else is getting, they inevitably zero in on the ONE THING I was withholding because of texture or safety, like the pickled carrots, and insist on getting a taste. Nobody denies baby the dinner menu!

They still lack patience and manual dexterity. After a few attempts at wrangling angel hair pasta, they just dropped the clump on the tray and licked it up. No hands needed! Angel hair IS hard to handle.

They are by far a much finickier eater than JB. All you had to do with JB was put food in their vicinity and by hook or by crook that food would disappear. Food was good and devoured. This little one has opinions about everything; the order of flavors and textures that we serve up, the number of bites they will eat of any single item before they need to move on to another item, and more.

They don’t mind very strange flavor combinations, though. Peas in blueberry Greek yogurt? Sure. Oatmeal in green bean puree? Fine. Chopped peaches in sweet potato puree? Spoon it up. I keep combining odd pairings to see if they care but so far, so good.

They love Sera’s food and water bowl set up. It’s in an elevated tray and Smol thinks of it as their very own sensory experience table. Pretty soon they’re going to discover there’s water in there and think it’s their water table.

Nothing brings this baby crawling over faster, when it’s just the two of us, than the sound of my organizing their toys. *SLAP THUMP SLAP THUMP SLAP THUMP* their hands and knees windmill furiously as they rush to come knock it all over.

Smol is still 89% interested in books as chew toys and 5% interested in the actual reading. I don’t know what’s happening the other 6% of the time but it usually involves toes, and sometimes zippers. Occasionally they will connect intensely with a book we’re reading, and chuckle at each page, and even look to me after each chuckle as if for affirmation and to share the laugh. Mostly books are for eating, though.

Pupdate

Sera’s been developing an interest in Smol that’s fun to watch. Their relationship is one of mutual interest and concern, and of licking each other while simultaneously not wanting to be licked. When Smol hollers their battle cry of “I’m coming for ya” (generally at all of us, not at Sera), or if JB is playing too roughly and sounds too aggressive, Sera will come inspect. She mostly knows better than to bother JB, she just checks on Smol. They will sniff noses but if Smol is on all fours and doesn’t want to be sniffed, they’ll just quickly drop their head and Sera will back off. It’s the funniest thing. They have also developed a “no licking, Sera!” hand wave to be deployed when sitting up. Setting boundaries!

Smol very much likes to crawl over to Sera when she’s curled on her bed to say hi and pet her but we’re still working on gentle hands. They haven’t got any. I supervise those bed visits to make sure Sera doesn’t feel threatened. She’s quite good about just calmly exiting stage left when she’s not up for a Smol encounter. She doesn’t feel obliged to stay even if we are sitting next to her. We never trap, corner, or force her to stay when she doesn’t want to so I think when she stays put, she genuinely is fine with Smol’s exploratory pets. Still, our rule is we never leave the dog alone with a baby no matter how tolerant the dog.

The contrast between Sera and Seamus is still stark, though, as he was genuinely always interested in being around and rarely ever left the room when JB was playing. Even if he appeared to be sleeping, he seemed to have a JB-radar that Sera most certainly does not have. I hope she grows to feel more at home with Smol, particularly given their interest in her, as they get older.

Precious Moments

JB to Smol: you’re awesomesauce! You’re awesome! And you’re sauce!

*****

JB: Mom, I’ve always wanted to test potions. But I have to be older.
Me: yes. You’ll need to be older.

*****

I accidentally raised an anti-capitalist?

JB playing shop: here’s a box of diapers.
Me: Thank you
JB: Here’s two boxes of wipes.
Me: Thank you. Can we order one toy for Smol Acrobat? What do you have for 5 cents?
JB: All our toys are 5 cents!
Me: Oh great. Thanks. How much do I owe you for the diapers and wipes?
JB: Nothing. They’re free!
Me: Oh, why are they free?
JB: Because they should be free if you need them!
Me: Oh. Yes. That would be nice actually.

Pretend day two of shop

JB: Can I get a pack of pens please?
Me: How much?
JB: 2 cents. We have plenty of money so it doesn’t cost much.
Me: Huh.

Real dedication to a bit here.

JB was pretending they and Smol Acrobat were homeless kittens asking to be adopted. I told them we can adopt them if they do their chores to pitch in, it’s a lot of work adopting kittens! They put away all the laundry, crawling to every room, meowing the whole time.

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