Good Things Friday (138) and Link Love
October 15, 2021
1. PiC stopped by a Japanese market and picked up some astonishing California rolls that used REAL crab. The hamachi was perfect too.
2. A mutual friend has been fundraising for Kristen, a dear friend, who suffered a devastating blow financially this year after working so hard to get out of the hole. The goal needed to safely get her into a safe and stable housing situation away from her abuser was met! She’s put my financial advice into action for years and was making so much progress towards gaining her financial freedom on a limited income until this happened. Even I had to sit down when I heard the latest news and I’ve seen some financial abuse shit. She’s been a tremendous support and comfort to me these past years, sharing much of her (big and small t) trauma to help me work through therapy and (my small t) trauma. I’m so grateful that she will have a measure of peace and safety for a while.
3. Tanja’s book Wallet Activism will be out soon and I’m very excited for her (and us)! Anyone interested in an ebook giveaway?
Direct aid need:
1. Tami who blogs at Disabled Girl on FIRE is working at replacing her income while still protecting her health as benefits have dried up. We can contribute to her ABLE account to help out.
2. Devon needs a Type O kidney. I learned a little about transplant chains this week.
3. Crickette was finally able to move out of a terrible living situation and now needs a hand with moving / living expenses.
4. @popelizbet is an attorney for DV and SA survivors and is currently fundraising to help immigrant DV survivors pay litigation costs. Help them help others? In all the time I’ve seen them online, they are good people. They do a ton of community organizing to help vulnerable people.
Challenges this week: I miss my friend. And I worry about them.
The daily slog continues to slog along without a break. We just have to hold on.
Cher Ami: The Pigeon that Saved the Lost Battalion
Twitter thread on corn maze etiquette and suchlike.
Twitter thread of an RD’s review of the Brach’s Turkey Dinner candy corn
Donna asked is fine dining worth it? I like the occasional fancy dinner of things I’d never make at this stage in life. I also forgot to mention I had an uncharacteristic Anthony Bourdain-inspired desire to try the French Laundry once, sometime, but that’s about it. We’ve truly enjoyed some fine dining in the past but it’s not a must.
I love Miser Mom’s flower mask. I’d love to see the other over the top masks too!
TED: How to stop languishing and start finding flow (I just read the transcript, I don’t have time to watch videos)
The cure for burnout (hint: it isn’t self-care)
In Tennessee: Black Children Were Jailed for a Crime That Doesn’t Exist. Almost Nothing Happened to the Adults in Charge.
LinkedIn Learning: Teaching as a Technical Instructor. This is so neat to see the summary of Hiro’s experience, I heard about snippets of it as it was developing but to have it all in one place is great. Makes me wish I had a useful skill to teach beyond negotiating for salary! I can only coach that one on one, I think. I don’t know how to one size fits all that advice.
When Gabby Petito disappeared, the world watched. Destini Smothers was ignored.
This is the first positive news I’ve heard about the Capitol insurrectionists. It’s been feeling like we were just going to see all these people get let off the hook: ‘There have to be consequences:’ Judge ups sentences for Capitol rioters
This Humans of NY Twitter thread REALLY got me.
Thanks for the shout-out!
Since writing that I did take my DF and my other best friend out to an old Anchorage steakhouse called Club Paris. Why wait? And it was WONDERFUL. The three of us sat there chatting about old times and eating really, really well. I realized that we were now part of old Anchorage ourselves — we’ve become the elders I used to see when I first moved here, eating onion soup and steak and talking about the state of the state.
Tempus fugit!
Oh what a lovely moment! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Tempus fugit indeed.
Oh that HONY thread!!!! So sad, so sweet, what a loving bond. *sniff*
Really interesting Ted talk on burnout – thank you for the link and for mentioning we can just read the transcripts – I, too, don’t have time/patience for videos! But reading the burnout transcript, the main bit that caught my eye is that there are three types:
1. depersonalization, where you separate yourself emotionally from your work instead of investing yourself and feeling like it’s meaningful;
2. decreased sense of accomplishment, where you just keep working harder and harder for less and less sense that what you are doing is making any difference;
3. emotional exhaustion
I’ve always purposefully kept depersonalization in place, after loving a job, giving too much, and getting laid off back in my late 20s. That’s really interesting to me – I believe, objectively, that my work is not that meaningful, but I wonder if I let my focus on the meaning I CAN find (helping people do things with technology), I wonder if I’d feel less tired of work? Probably not. But I wonder if keeping some barrier between my heart and my job is ultimately good or bad for me? I’m leaning more toward good, I guess.
I always look forward to your comments!
I have all three of those kinds of burnout but like you, I deliberately did #1. Mainly I wanted to try and beat workaholism but there was an element of doing the same as you had done and trying to distance myself from getting too emotionally involved in toxic workplaces again. I wonder if we can find a happy medium between where we are now and the other end where we’ve been before.
I tried to donate to Tami’s ABLE account BUT there are only 2 ways to donate
1. Bank account. Nope nope nope don’t want to take the risk of hackers getting my bank account number
2. Debit card. Same
Whenever paying for something online I operate under the assumption that the server WILL be hacked eventually and my account number WILL be exposed so I only use credit cards.
Thanks for trying! For security, I only use a separate bank account that’s always empty except for when I specifically make donations, if I can’t use credit cards, to ensure that if someone traced that bank account, there would be nothing in it for them to do anything with.