I once thought that saying “I’m proud of you” to adults was being focused on me and what I felt when I should focus on how my friends felt. Then I learned I was wrong.
Deed theft is on the rise. Why on earth are BASIC identity checks not being conducted when someone is trying to transfer a deed? We had to get our stuff notarized, how is that not a basic thing to do?
I love not having to wear formal business attire anymore but if I did have to, I’d love to look as sleek and chic as Anh does. And I admire Jean’s outfit combinations – I don’t have an eye for these things myself and appreciate the artful arrangements of practical things.
I’m trying to wrap my head around the cost of college and while I certainly wasn’t private school material, and PiC chose a public school, I wonder if we need to prepare for the possibility that JB might opt for a private school. I needed to lean on Nicole and Maggie for a bit more information on that world of costs.
Being in a constant state of rage can wreck you slowly (or quickly). I should know, after the past 20 years which included my financially abusive family and two terribly toxic workplaces spanning 7 years of my career, and today’s world. I like these action items for doing things to combat the rage and alleviate the stress. It’s a simple list but I still need the reminders when my dander gets up. I’ve also done a lot of work to remove toxic people from our lives, to simplify, to induce calm and it’s made a huge difference.
I was just thinking about my comment over at Abby’s about how emergencies piled up when I was low income – it was always one thing after another. Then I realized that’s still true today. We just had a family situation that cost nearly $3000 to take care of. No sooner had I calculated those costs, we had another incident that cost $1300 to start fixing and is going to cost another $400+, at least. We can bear those costs because I aggressively save but by golly, having less than $10,000 in savings in the face of this level of costs would make me physically ill.
On principle I would like Nicole Cliffe because she’s a rich person who advocates for paying people a fair wage and none of that nonsense about stiffing them because “we’re like family” but she’s also an entertaining writer so I read her gift guide mainly for her writing. Except it turns out, it’s also got really neat stuff. Why did I doubt her? I don’t usually buy kids toys but I will make exceptions for good ones.
A SpEd teacher shared this with me. They work really hard to teach and advocate for their students but it’s rough. (more…)
Done by Forty lost a friend and accurately describes the feelings I have often about mortality. We keep having to bury friends and family too soon: our parents, a friend at 13, another friend at 22, another friend who was only 25… it makes everything feels so petty, sometimes. Other times I remember that these daily moments, and the little things, are what make up life. It’s not petty, it just feels that way in the face of nothingness.
I also find myself feeling odd about aging even while planning to take care of aging DINK friends. I can’t believe some of my dear friends are pushing 80. What?? But it’s true and we can’t pretend it’s not happening as much as I want to bury my head in the sand. So we’re having hard conversations about how they want me / us to care for them when the time comes for them to need care.
I had this feeling in my heart when I started our Lakota giving early this year. I have to find some time to write a new update soon. In case you’re not into clicking links, and want to know what Kelly’s suggested, here you go:
Kelly 2/9: If you would like to contribute to the @IWRising abortion fund, which provides assistance to Indigenous people seeking abortion care in the US and Canada you can do so here:
Kelly 3/9: .@Chi_Nations
is a diverse group of Native youth w a mission to raise awareness of Native cultural identity. I did some education work alongside them this yr at a children’s event about colonization and climate change & was mad impressed. Support them.
Kelly 4/9: To support the fight to save the Indian Child Welfare Act (and so much more), donate to @lakotalaw. These folks fight for the rights of Native children and to keep Native children in Native homes. They also work to defend Native land.
Kelly 5/9: Another great option is the Native American Food Sovereignty Alliance. NAFSA is dedicated to restoring, supporting and developing Indigenous food systems and ensuring food security for future generations.
Kelly 6/9: With Native voting rights under threat, this is a good time to support @4directionsvote. Their organizers are committed to the full enfranchisement of Native people. To fight Native voter suppression, you can donate here.
Kelly 7/9: My own people, the Menominee, are organizing against a proposed mine that would destroy our sacred sites and poison our water. You can help here.
Kelly 9/9: If you want to support one of the Native youth who helped launch the Standing Rock protests, who is now working to put himself through college, you can do that here.
I’m in no way prepared to spend $1200 on a robot vacuum, but can I just say: this one empties itself?? Half the point of getting a robot vacuum is preserving my energy and my concern is having to fight with the vacuum to empty the bin constantly. With two dogs and kid, I’m pretty sure we’ll fill the bins a lot. I am almost tempted to wait a couple more years for my bot vacuum so we can get this one. But maybe not…
Avocado slices!
I didn’t know that I wanted to know how to slice avocados perfectly before but this is great.
I don’t really understand how Gladwell’s response isn’t to listen to the people he hurt, who were already hurt, and do better. Instead he hides behind legality. Very Poor Form. Also, for me, his behavior is an object lesson in being very careful about giving copyright permission and control over interviews and quotes and recordings of your voice. People can and will take you out of context.
I took the Yours, Mine & Ours (or, just Ours) quiz to “Identify what’s most important to you and learn what could go wrong if it gets ignored.” I was disappointed in our quiz results, though. Even though it acknowledged we’re good at talking about or considering money, it just talked about how fighting about money is a big relationship killer. Well. Duh. That’s why we talk about money: so we don’t fight about it. I don’t know what I was expecting from a 6 question quiz though. What’d you get?
Leia/Washington
I will never not imagine Carrie Fisher delivering that last line.
***FYI: I am collecting donations for our Lakota families until Nov 17th. Details in the Giving paragraph. Half of any proceeds from the blog during this time (see sidebar) will also be added to those donations.***
Thefts in Potrero Hill. I had trouble getting through this story because everything about it was frustrating.
Yes, I am in the cozy season: blanket, small heater, baked some bread.
Sarah Gailey’s story of living with chronic pain felt like she was me. And I would choose to be Away almost all the time too. To be able to choose when to be in pain, to be able to choose to take risks that could result in pain, because you know it’ll fade away is an unbelievable luxury that I don’t remember. I can’t remember not having to calculate how much I’ll pay for each exertion, and each choice, and everything I want to do, down to laying down at a particular angle.
Billie Lourd on Becoming the Keeper of Princess Leia. I wasn’t old enough to love Leia in real time when the movies first came out but I came to the Star Wars universe around the 90s and loved her, and General Organa, and Carrie Fisher. This article made me tear up.
I thought our dentist was bad at this online booking system thing – they require a separate email address for everyone, including minor children. Sorry y’all, my 3 year old doesn’t get an email address!
Meanwhile, Costco has been touting their pet prescription refills and THEY want my dog to have a separate email address. Really. There’s no better way to do this, like, perhaps a PET sub-profile?
Cat Touchdown
Kevin Harlan’s Westwood One radio call of the cat on the field is, as you might expect, an all-time great call. How much of a pro is Harlan? He worked a sponsor read into it. pic.twitter.com/3x0MVNEHNY
***FYI: I am collecting donations for our Lakota families until Nov 17th. Details in the Giving paragraph of this post. Half of any proceeds from the blog during this time (see sidebar) will also be added to those donations.***
Penny asks Who are you showing up for? I seriously isolated myself for years while I was dealing with Dad’s scamming. Now, I am trying to make up for lost time with a real effort to keep in touch with people whether it’s by email, text, or phone calls (rarer). And I’m very lucky in that I do have people checking on me, and I feel like it’s just as much as I check on others. It’s not a circle, we just keep passing it forward, and it seems to work.
Purple is 100% stocks. I’ve considered going, and was, 100% stocks in our index funds for a while for the growth but as with all things, I changed my mind after a while. I added bonds back in for balance because I am always concerned about overall risk. What’s your percentage?
About gabapentin’s wide off-label use. This is appalling: Parke-Davis hired medical education companies to write review papers, original articles, and letters to the editor in medical journals about gabapentin for “$13,375 to $18,000 per article,” plus a $1,000 honorarium for the author. The majority of these articles had “favorable” conclusions about gabapentin, and in most instances the payments were not disclosed.
***FYI: I am collecting donations for our Lakota families until Nov 17th.Details in the Giving paragraph. Half of any proceeds from the blog during this time (see sidebar) will also be added to those donations.***
Roxane Gay’s ministry of checking bags. I used to check bags, then I tried to carry on only. Then I had a kid and that all went Hades. We check bags now and it’s nice to only carry enough on to put under the seats, plus one backpack that might go overhead if we haven’t lost our minds and we packed adequate snacks for our small black hole that we travel with. I haven’t traveled solo for longer than a day or two for a few years so I don’t recall what I do unencumbered. Are you Team Checked Bag or Carry-On?
This made me chuckle: hot people are stressful. I had a similar doctor experience once, bundled off to the ER because of debilitating pain, rolled up like pastry wrapped sausage in two coats and a robe. I can neither explain the pain nor the Michelin Man bundle. For some reason that made Mom feel better about sending me off with only my brother as driver? It was unpleasant to say the least to be greeted by a reasonably put together, not utterly disheveled, conventionally attractive doctor. At the very least, I scolded my body, have something worthwhile to justify being here and having to face THIS social interaction! Alas, it did not.
