I can’t stop thinking about how vulnerable this young lady and others in her situation are.
OFG fixed her dryer! I have a problem with our dryer I haven’t had the nerve to tackle but maybe I will after a lot of research.
Wise NFL player: “I need to be maximizing every single day I have in the NFL because I don’t know when this NFL platform will be swept right under my feet.”
Simplistic Steph nailed my current unease with our FIRE projections. To (maybe) hit our ideal early retirement number “on time” relies on a projected savings and investing plan that: “Our numbers are assuming we never have kids, a drop in salary, or any major life event. Basically, our numbers are best-case-scenario, dreamland numbers.”
I’ve never been comfortable with planning based on best-case scenarios because that is just not how grown up life has ever worked for me.
Thasunda Brown Duckett of Chase: “Last week I came to work mad because my son was called the N-word at school. I told my team, told my peers, told the other C.E.O.s. We killed a whole hourlong meeting and we just talked about race. I said, “I’m an angry black woman today. I am mad that I have to have conversations that you don’t have to have. I am tired.”
I bring that to work. It’s who I am. I just bring the best version of Thasunda, all of me, to the table, because I want everyone else to do the same. And when you lead with authenticity, when you can share your vulnerable moments, it opens up everyone else to share their real life, too.”
I’m starting to try to be more authentic me and less Professional Me with All Shields Up and I admire people who come to that naturally. I’ve edited myself for over a decade, hiding my chronic illness side because I don’t want to show weakness, hiding my love of personal finance so I come across as a normal superstar-level person wanting a legitimately earned raise without a side of “because I need/want to have the option to retire early”. I don’t want those aspects of me to dominate who I am at work and color the approvals of raises.
I really enjoyed this interview with Abigail Disney. Her views and understanding about money are interesting and I imagine not that common among the very rich. I often wonder what the most effective ways to responsibly deploy that kind of money and do the most good to people least likely to get the help they need.
Being consistently grateful instead of grumpy because work is so heavy I’m sinking miserably under the weight continues to be difficult. Since spreadsheets and mony goals make me happy, I thought it was time to focus on our FIRE goals as a distraction. Boy, was I wrong. This has only served to make me an even more ungrateful frog because we’re deep in our middle years without a true end in sight. I’ve had to reread and mentally review all the things I’m doing wrong that Tanja reminds us not to do: checking account balances frequently, focusing entirely on the end goal and ignoring the incremental wins because they seem insignificant, trying to optimize every penny (well, I’d do this anyway). So I remind myself via Tanja: “Or, in more concrete financial terms, celebrate when you hit round numbers, when you pay off even small amounts of debt and when you pass psychologically significant waypoints. Doing that keeps you focused on how much you’re accomplishing instead of how far you have to go, and that mindset difference is enormous.”
It’s true. I need to go back to being happy about my small and insignificant in comparison to the large goals wins because they are each meaningful and will add up, and most importantly, focusing on them will make me happier about the process than staring at account balances that just. aren’t. moving.
Do you share your thoughts on money? I do and I don’t. I share my philosophies and strategies on bargain hunting and negotiation but I don’t share my overall philosophy on early retirement with anyone. At most with three other people.
We aren’t profligate spenders but we do spend way more than the average. WAY more. I don’t think we CAN call ourselves frugal.
Which spouse makes more? I used to compete with PiC head to head but I’ve fallen way behind in these past couple of years and it bothers me a bit.
France was off my travel list when my dietary restrictions came into play because how could I go and not absorb all the carbs they had to offer?? But spotting Space Invaders is a really fun reason to go.
Kristine is going into farming. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, I love when other people share how they come to their own realizations.
Mom/parent guilt is strong. PiC gets this and sometimes I have to put my foot down and insist HE IS going to go out on Sunday morning with his friends to do their thing, period, no questions asked. I don’t take those specific breaks myself because I don’t feel the need – I get my social time throughout the week, online, and that fills my bucket.
Golden Girls: I like the idea of choosing my own living companions later in life with an eye to aging in place and being prepared to have a live in caretaker and so on. It appeals to the planner in me.
Angela coming off a 2 year clothing ban. Living in the foggy Bay Area means I’m in a new sweatshirt that’s actually warm and loungepants that PiC bought for me three years ago 4 out of 5 days a week, and my latest clothing purchases revolve almost entirely around comfort (stretchy yoga pants). I’m still working through my old work layers that aren’t presentable anymore but still have plenty of wear in them. I picked up a couple fancy pieces last December and they both need hemming, I need to find my way to the tailor. What’s your clothing philosophy these days?
It’s about time people understood we need to talk to BOYS about rape. Stop telling girls and women to dress differently or hide themselves, teach boys to seek consent and stop raping.
Laurie’s right. It’s not all roses all the time. I went through tons of uncomfortable times and some downright miserable times in the workplace and it was all in service of building a better life and understanding what that better life looked like. I wouldn’t have known this 15 years ago without that slog but our better life includes less work and more family time, less nonsensical social obligations and more deep connections to the people who value what we value.
Dr. Tressie McMillan Cottom: Raising Really Good Hell for People Who Cannot. I will read anything by Dr. McMillan Cottom. It may not be comfortable but it will be intelligent and it will likely have a whole lot of truth. Most of all I do think she sounds like herself in her writing, as much as I can tell who herself is, and I admire that a lot in a writer.
The homeless situation in Los Angeles is getting worse and this part of it makes me extra peeved – who can keep up with that??: “From 2010 to 2018, median rental prices for a one-bedroom apartment in Los Angeles increased 84 percent, while median wages during the same period only rose 11 percent.”
Not so strangers: I have never considered that I’d be someone’s not so stranger, but mine are mostly dogs. I have a hard time recognizing humans if I don’t have an actual relationship with them.
I remember when @operaqueenie launched @Tinselwear, I thought it was very cool but I definitely wasn’t the market for it.
We didn’t have a special name for it but we grew up with the kunik. I wonder if this Inuit parenting style works as well in isolation rather than in a community.
Some truths about being a digital nomad. I would have thought these were all common sense about working from the road! This might be because I’ve been in the position to do that for years and it’s still work. Not only that, it’s work in addition to all the logistics of travel even before the added complication of a family and kids and dogs. Nowadays the best possible option in my opinion is a safe home base that I love and am comfortable in and no central office that I have to report to.
Matt Lane steps up to the plate with a very logical point by point response to the nonsense published last week. This is a very long read but well worth the time.
Frogdancer on Chipping away at large tasks. I particularly resonated with this bit: “The research finds that the more writing kids are allowed to do, especially ‘low stakes’ writing, the better their skills get.” I was a TERRIBLE writer in high school, but blogging for years on my own helped me get out of the Embarrassingly Bad Zone to Passable.
Vicki Robin on her life and FIRE: “I don’t see financial independences as the ultimate goal. I see it as just a ticket to the greatest show on earth – the earth itself with all her beauty, complexity, critters and currently crises. The opportunity to ask the Mary Oliver questions: What are you going to do with your one wild and precious life?”
I adore the Blair Braverman + Quince Mountain team’s sharing of dog sledding on Twitter. They’re training for the Iditerod at Alpine Creek Lodge now. Long long ago, I was obsessed with dog sledding because dogs, of course, but didn’t have anything like today’s access to the spot from my own warm spot at home.
Go, Big Dog!
We love watching agility videos with JB, this is an excellent one!
