By: Revanche

Our favorite things: 2018

December 10, 2018

As the holidays and focus on gift giving ramps up (we have some obligatory gift exchanges), I like to review my purchases from the past year (and sometimes from the past few years if they were that good) to see if they held up to the expectations.

• Last year: This was a rare impulse buy but I adore my Owl Silicone Coin Purse and so do the dogs. It’s one of the few things I’ve bought solely because it was too cute to pass up, not because it was a gift or because I had a purpose in mind. Three months after buying it, inspiration struck and it became my dog treat pouch – something I’ve needed for years! With silicone, there’s no worry the treats will stain and it’s airtight enough that the tiny treats don’t dry out overnight.
• Last year: I have the sold out dachshund puppy pouch but I adore the Catseye London zip pouches. They’re so thick and sturdy, mine survived a ten month loan to JB.
• Last year: I still adore my only full price clothing purchase: Barefoot Dreams Circle Cardigan. I’ve worn it multiple times every week since buying it last year and it holds up. Of course it gets furry because I keep forgetting and hugging the dogs but it machine washes just fine.
• This year: Hands down, the furnace. Being warm again is such a novelty.
• This year: $7 of fabric purchased on Thanksgiving weekend at 70% off. I’ve started hand sewing again this year and I’m really enjoying the act of creating something useful though my skills are quite limited to just an almost straight seam and a backstitch.

PiC

• This year: An expensive piece of sporting equipment that I’d managed to forget about because 2018 has felt like a DECADE.
• This year: But also the furnace.

JB

A few things stayed on rotation all year long from past birthdays and Christmases:

• Magnetiles and Magformers for building strange architecture and “stables” for zir little animals
• All manner of small animals and figures
• Books books books. We have been slowly building zir library and ze loves rotating through the lot of them, even the baby books.
• A very basic Lego train set. Even simpler than this one but ze loves it.

Seamus and Sera

They have similar taste – not sure if it’s actually similar taste or that natural sibling rivalry of always wanting what the other has.

• Toss one of these chuck it balls a few times for him to chase and then leave him to the business of chewing it to bits. His eyes roll up in bliss – absolutely doggy heaven. Sera likes to race for her balls in every direction over and over and over, until you stop. Then she comes and nudges you if she’s not done yet. She’s young. She has energy.
• ZUKE’S Mini Naturals.
• Big Shrimpy dog bed. PiC got this high quality dog bed four years ago for Seamus and it’s still a resounding favorite. The newer version is very lightweight so it’s easy to grab and go when we’re traveling. The old pre-SmartFiber bed is a bit of a problem though – when I washed the filler, it positively overflowed our lint filter. Is it worth $60 to buy replacement SmartFill? I think environmentally, yes, but financially, I’m going to have to drum up more cash flow to justify that.

For the whole family

We bought these Rubbermaid 1/2-Cup Containers three years ago for JB’s infant lunches and have never stopped using them. Ze eats a whole lot more than a few of these can hold now, and has done for over a year, but they are perfect for throwing a stack of assorted snacks into a bag when we head out for our next “a-venture”. I fill one with cashews for myself, JB usually requests raisins, cashews, granola, Cheerios, and candy. The candy doesn’t happen but ze figures it’s worth asking.

Priceless intangible gifts

Something just struck me. I don’t remember playing with any of my older relatives when they came to visit. It wasn’t that they weren’t interested in spending time with us, it’s just not how they related to us. But what they did instead is still echoing in my life today: they taught us how to do things.

A German great uncle, silent as a tomb, patiently sat with five year old me and taught me basic origami. A Texan auntie taught me how to knit. A Vietnamese auntie taught me how to cook special dishes. A Canadian great uncle taught me a little something about generosity and to stash my money. I don’t remember a great deal from my largely unremarkable childhood, but I remember those things to this day and wish I could thank them again one more time. It probably meant nothing to them, it was but a flicker in their lifetimes, but it mattered to me.

Love by mail

A couple of times this year, friends have noticed my stress and sent me care packages. This was totally unlooked for and so very much appreciated. Healthy snacks by mail are such an amazing pick me up when you’re snowed under by work and events out of your control, you’re on a restrictive diet, and can barely remember to eat!

Terrible parenting and the holidays. After nearly a year of zero communication, starting from when I finally cut him off, I got an email from my estranged Dad. It was short: “I’ve found a place and moved to [address]. X is the anniversary date of your mom’s passing (as if I didn’t know) and you can light incense on these dates.”

True, as far as it goes. But utterly devoid of the essentials that matter, as usual, and really a bit patronizing considering I know exactly when my mother died. Utterly devoid of the details that make up what I and the rest of the world consider the truth. That truth, as reported to me by a relative who felt compelled to pick up his pieces again, is that even though I stopped paying his bills last December, he didn’t make any effort to do anything about his unaffordable housing situation. He just stayed there through this year, not paying rent. When they finally came after his lease co-signer – thankfully not me since removing my name from his rental agreement was my first task last year – on the basis of my 20 years of paying rent on time for them, he pled with them for a few more months and time to pay the back rent. Naturally, since he let it become an emergency situation with an eviction looming instead of proactively finding a new cheaper place months ago, his siblings and their children felt compelled to pitch in to bail him out again. I was informed of the situation over a month ago and they knew that I had a moral objection to their bailing him out but we agreed that I would respect their decision and they would respect mine to not bail him out again after 20 years of being milked for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

I feel justified not wanting to see him for Christmas and I’ve taken steps to make that happen. I never thought we’d be in this place but then I never foresaw any of the past two years so there’s no point in dwelling on what might have been. After a year of non communication, that’s all he had to say to me. The truth remains true: he doesn’t give a rat’s tail about me or my family. He likely doesn’t think he was wrong, either, and with that perspective, I can’t trust him. This year, my biggest gift to myself is a peaceful heart. Until he chooses to change, I’m not going to allow any sense of obligation override my self preservation. I deserve a less stressed holiday.

:: What are your favorite things? What are your favorite gifts to give and receive? What are your plans for the winter?

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