By: Revanche

My kid and notes from Year 4.9

December 23, 2019

While I fundamentally oppose book banning, the Three Little Pigs book is now banned from our house. JB has called for us 177 times in the night because ze is afraid of the Big Bad Wolf. There is no wolf.

Getting ready everyday

We have “stay at home” days and “not stay at home” days. Big honking surprise, ze has been up early and happily on stay at home days. Ze divebombs our bed, chortling, with lovies in tow, for a good snuggle after which we lie abed luxuriously reading and playing together, if PiC has already taken the dogs out.

Once every fifth blue moon, I wake up first and answer the call: “Dad! I’m awake!”

Burying the lede: I’m allowed to answer those now! I used to get the stinkeye and “I want Daddy.” We snuggle and read in zir bed. Once every tenth blue moon, I can convince zir to quietly get dressed and sneak out with me to walk the dogs to surprise PiC with taking his morning chore. For this one thing, I miss the days when ze was an easy infant (in this respect anyway), portable and without opinions. I’d just bundle zir into the stroller and take them all out.

NOT stay at home days, though, whew. Those have been a struggle.

Ze hates being rushed but also sleeps so much in a solid stint now (10-11 hours at night, probably because ze quit napping 1.5 years ago UGH) that we have to be in bed by 7 pm to have a ghost of a chance of getting up early enough to get ready without rushing. Hah. 7 pm. We have early dinners compared to other local families, but we certainly don’t get dinner, bath and bed done by 7 on weekdays. It’s a series of daily battles and it’s no fun at all.

Feeling the feelings, continued

I first shared this a couple months ago. I’ve been trying to take advantage of quiet mood moments to reinforce identifying and addressing feelings. So far, our range is sad and mad. (And mad is usually enraged and aggressive.)

But once in a while, I clue into the whining and instead of grouching at zir (no whining!) I instead remember to ask: so how does that make you feel? Sometimes, ze gives an honest and reasonably calm answer! In that case, the non-leading-question follow up is: What helps you when you’re feeling mad? Sometimes ze will have an answer to that, too!

Death, again

JB’s friends, a pair of siblings ze enjoys bouncing off the walls with, lost their parent this month very suddenly and we attended his funeral. We talk about death so frequently because we don’t want it to be a dark scary thing for them and it seems to help. JB is sad about zir friend’s dad, he was so good with kids that they genuinely liked him for him and not just as X’s dad, but ze is more focused on the people still here: they spent the wake enjoying each other’s company and looking at pictures together.

A numbers game (that’s way over zir head)

JB: let’s play the numbers game!
PiC: which one?
JB: the one where you guess
PiC: where I guess the number you’re thinking of?
JB: yes. I will pick.
PiC: ok… Is it… 35?
JB: NO! THAT’S NOT THE GAME!
PiC: but you said…
JB: no, I think of a number and YOU GUESS.
PiC: I did!
JB: you’re doing it wrong!!
PiC: are you listening to this?
Me: no, I stopped listening when it stopped making sense.
PiC: 😕
Me: JB, are you talking about the numbers game where you guess by asking “higher or lower”?
JB: YES!
Me: ok then, Dad, guess higher or lower than to narrow down the numbers.
PiC: is it higher or lower than 10?
JB: higher.
PiC: higher or lower than 100?
JB: higher.
PiC: higher or lower than 1000?
JB: higher
PiC *disbelief*: higher than 1000?? You know your thousands??
Me: Dr. Evil. That’s your number.
PiC: a million?
JB: yes!!
JB, guessing: is it higher or lower than 100?
PiC: lower
JB: IS IT ONE??
PiC :… No…
JB: IS IT TWO???
PiC: …. no…. This is going to take a long time.
Me: Honey, ask Daddy higher or lower questions.
JB: is it higher or lower than ONE???
PiC: 🤦‍♂️it’s definitely higher than one.
JB: is it higher or lower than FORTY?
PiC: lower
JB: is it higher or lower than FIFTY??
PiC: ????
Me: dad said it was higher than 1 and and lower than 40 so it has to be between those two numbers.
JB: what’s “between” mean?
Us: 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀

Who can fathom the mind of…

JB: Daddy, let’s talk about seed germination. I know there are three parts of a plant (holds up one chubby finger per item): leaves, stem, roots!
PiC: And what do plants need to make energy?
JB: ROCK PAPER SCISSORS SHOOT! *collapses into giggles*

Oh, duh

PiC: Who’s the new art teacher?
JB: There is no new art teacher. It only changes if it’s their last day!

Drat, couldn’t trick zir

JB: Oh, Dad, I can’t tell you that because it’s a Christmas surprise.
Me: What can’t you tell Dad?
JB: It’s a secret! For Christmas. For parents.
Me: Can you tell me?
JB: NOOOOO it’s a SECRET. FOR PARENTS.

:: Were you able to keep secrets as a kid?

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