By: Revanche

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (111)

July 18, 2022

Year 3 of COVID in the Bay Area.

Year 3, Day 115: 610 am. We had some sleep progress over the weekend but it’s going in the wrong direction now. 🤞😬

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Monday Morning Musing: why am I such a sucker for Hello Kitty stuff?

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Smol thinks it’s HILARIOUS to pretend to fall off a step. Sure, yuk it up, it’s funny ’til you actually DO fall off.

We had a looooong stretch of time before their nap today. I think we’re on day 5 of shifting them to one nap a day and this was the first day of those that I was solo with them. We did ALL THE THINGS. Backyard time, digging weeds time, trying on water wings, bouncing the basketball, bouncy ball, and soccer ball. Even tried on a baseball glove but they were iffy about that one.

They’ve been “talking” up a storm since the weekend, forming near words and even managed “mum/mom”. They were mostly talking to PiC but today they patted me very hard from chest to head establishing I also get to be mum mum mum mom mom mom. We also suddenly have a more clear “no” (but for nose, not negative) and “yep/yip” for yes. It’s a little disconcerting to have a handful of words when they didn’t have any a few days ago but also a relief. The unfortunate bit that goes with these three words is that they now mostly refuse to sign. Instead they insist that we go through intricate charades to figure out what they want. CHILDREN.

Year 3, Day 116: 4:45 am. BAH HUMBUG. I thought we were starting to make progress after three post 6 am wake ups in a row. That seemed so promising. This was a big step backwards as were the micro catnaps they kept taking in the car when running short errands instead of waiting to get home for a real longer nap. They finally took a whopper of a nap mid afternoon. 🤞 for tonight’s sleep.

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My pain has been out of control the past few days and therefore unbearable at night. At best I can get 3-4 hours out of 8 hours of laying down because it just hurts too much to fall asleep or stay asleep.

I’m need pain relief to sleep but I can only take so much heat and nothing else does much. I just have to wait it out.

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I asked Twitter and now I’m asking you: Is (was) there anything about your job you think is fun?

Year 3, Day 117: So many wake ups. I lost count after five. I was so tired. I am so tired. I’m so tired today that all I want is to curl up and cry for several hours and hibernate for week.

Alas. It is not meant to be. It’s so frustrating that when I’m most tired is when my pain will skyrocket. Can I please take them one at a time please??

Can Smol please start sleeping in a decent routine please please please??

(So far, the answer is no.)

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As the end of our summer nears, JB is increasingly stricken with grief that they’re heading back to school soon. We made a tactical error sending them to a summer camp that was Too Much Fun. They never want the fun to stop and they’ve been trying to negotiate more camp and less school. They even tried to get me to agree to homeschool them. Hah. Hah. Hah. They won’t even do their chores without attitude and whining, there’s no way I, with my absolute lack of any teaching skill or aptitude, would take on that task without a massive life change first. No no and no. I have been tempted in principle because sending my kids to school where they run the risk of being murdered, because it truly can happen anywhere, is one of my many parenting nightmares, but in reality, I think we’d both be scarred for life.

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Such tired. Help.

Year 3, Day 118: 5 am? 6 am? So tired I couldn’t tell but thankfully PiC was able to field them today.

So tired today that my brain continued to spin like a whirligig when I finally laid down in bed. Ouch and ouch.

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Struggling with massive disappointment today. We thought we’d get to see a family member who we’ve been missing deeply next week. After 2+ years of being super careful, we got our hopes up. Then COVID got them. I am still steeped in denial that they will be well enough (aka test negative) in time for a visit but I may need to start making my peace with yet another disappointment and a refresh of my fury over how people not giving a damn about this pandemic has deprived us YET AGAIN of the company of a loved one.

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My brain is the tiger:

Year 3, Day 119: We had a lot going on yesterday and Smol didn’t get to sleep until very very late. I was sure this would lead to a disastrous sleep but they were out cold until 8 am. Yay!

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I’ve been struggling with sewing. After making several zipper pouches in various sizes that I really like, I’ve hit a wall. I suspect my creative engine went on hiatus and writing this is my way of actively making myself be ok with the pause. It’s ok to wait until my brain and body are in sync and ready to take on the learning process for another set of projects.

When I have a longer stretch of time between looming deadlines, I’d like to make a set of packing cubes using the fabrics that I have on hand. I know mesh tops would be useful but I’m inclined to fiddle with (and yell at) mesh yet. I’m thinking of making each of us a large cube with a different cotton fabric top “lid” piece for each person. We are all sharing one packing cube set now and we’re going to outgrow that really soon. I’m studying these two tutorials in hopes that the process will start making more sense before I get started. If you have a good tutorial, I’d love to see it!

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There’s some irony in the fact that I recognized Andrea Bocelli’s “Time to say Goodbye” on Sesame Street from another room because my mom really liked his music. Sending her to his concert was one of the few gifts I was ever able to give her as an adult.

Is it irony? Or is it just a heart twinge?

4 Responses to “Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (111)”

  1. Bethh says:

    Oh I’m SO SORRY about your likely disappointment. Covid is the dumbest. I hope they aren’t too sick and can reschedule soon.

    What about my job was fun? I liked figuring out an answer to a “how does this work” question, or knowing an answer that made people happy, and working with teammates on projects (like presentations of various types). So I guess some intersection of knowledge & good people.

    • Revanche says:

      Thank you, I’m still holding on to the slimmest threads of hope that we can reschedule. It’s been incredibly hard to.

      You might be the first person I know who likes working on team projects 🙂

  2. All my job was fun except for editing PDF forms. Until two weeks ago I was a web developer for a UCLA science department, then I retired. In addition to the fun of designing websites, it felt as though I was helping publicize scientific research, as if I were a part of something bigger, and that was satisfying. Plus the faculty and staff were great to work with. I almost didn’t want to retire!

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