Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (184)
December 11, 2023
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 4, Day 251: I’m mildly annoyed that the elementary school is having the kids do Christmas carols this year. Not specifically for our sake, we’re Buddhist and we’ve always been pretty open to observing (literally observing in the sense of watching and also celebrating if invited) other traditions in an almost anthropologic sort of way, more for the kids who aren’t Christian and do have meaningful holidays that are ignored in favor of the dominant Christian stuff. Last year their teacher taught them about all the religious holidays that are celebrated in the winter months and I liked that. I’m not entirely sure how to raise this topic because I just heard about it and haven’t come up with a better option that’s celebrating in a way that’s not othering.
In other news, the plea from the Pine Ridge coordinators this weekend was depressing. A lowlight: “We’ve been working hard listing families that are in need of Christmas presents for their children. We have had a tremendous response – but the need of families has been overwhelming. We are getting really scared that the families listed will not get any Christmas presents for their children and grandchildren.” I’m usually shopped out by this time of the year but I couldn’t NOT try again. So I spread the news on Twitter and Bluesky, and picked up a family with ten kids. In the spirit of the Little Engine that could, I think I can I think I can!
Update: I did! We gathered enough funds to send every kid a gift on their wish list plus a bit of food and snacks for the family.
Then I had just enough time to hop around for a look at winter coats on sale. Ordered our Lakota kid a coat, warm gloves, and wool socks to go with the warm hat and rain boots I sent last week. I’m not good at fun gifts but I will make sure our people are warm and fed. That’s my specialty. They might want another sponsor when they get a little older and I’d understand.
Year 4, Day 252: Terrible start to the day at 330 am between a too-early waking and nightmares about fighting with my biodad again. I haven’t had one of those in months, maybe even years, and it’s every bit as unsettling as it was when they were a regular occurrence. It feels like it left psychic goo smeared all over. Ick.
Related, I finally complained about my jaw pain on Bluesky yesterday. It’s been more than a month with an ache in the left side of my jaw and I’m tired of it. It makes chewing really uncomfortable and just hurts the rest of the time. A friend helpfully gave me a rundown on things that have helped her. I knew about the mouth guard recommendation but have you ever heard of tongue posture? I hadn’t! Trying it out today has relieved some of the pressure in the side of my jaw. I hope this is all it takes, though.
I left PiC to figure out the kids’ doctor appts and our conference call this week. Those are usually on my plate but my brain is maxed out.
Year 4, Day 253: The jaw pain isn’t gone today but it’s at least 30% less! Measured by my ability to open and close my mouth and even to chew without excruciating pain, just bothersome pain.
We were all off our game today. The kids had appointments in the morning and were Infinitely Grumpy by the afternoon and evening. By 615 pm, we had one kid sobbing at the dinner table and the other kid sobbing in their room. So many feelings. So many energies.
When they’d all been fed, bathed, and packed off to bed, I settled into a long stint of ordering the last (I hope) holiday gifts for a White Elephant Party that PiC didn’t know about until the last minute (a game), the toddler birthday party (stack of books), and the other niblings (more books). I asked for book recommendations for the toddler set and a friend suggested Mud Puddle by Robert Munsch which I’d never heard of. I also ordered the last gift card for the Christmas Lakota family and packed all of those for mailing in the morning. After scouring Target and Michaels for fabric drawstring bags (NOT Christmas themed), I gave up and bought a pack from Amazon. Again opting for delayed shipping to get the digital reward since I yearn for more books but we’re quite cash poor this month after November’s purchases.
Year 4, Day 254: Another 40% drop in jaw pain! I was startled when I dragged myself out of bed and tentatively yawned. A little pain still, but the worst of it is better. So grateful for the relief.
After only about 4 hours of sleep, 3+ potential sleep hours were lost to painsomnia and Smol Acrobat’s disturbances, getting up into the wintry chill was tough. *Trudge Trudge Trudge* Sitting on the heating pad at my desk after finally pushing everyone out the door is wonderful, though, if I must be upright and conscious. This thing is a workhorse.
Packing continues today: Put together the last holiday box for our Lakota kiddo and scheduled a pickup for tomorrow. I have a standing giftee list to work from but can’t shake the feeling that I’m forgetting someone. There are still treats in my Chewy cart for my catphew, but pretty sure all the cousins have been … Nope. Two more! They’ll also get money because they’re long distance.
AUGH also FINALLY remembered the thing I’d been trying to dredge up from the back of my consciousness, tickling at me. There are two December birthdays to worry about and I’d only figured out one of them. Whew. Thank goodness.
Also also, I’d been slowly throwing together some pictures for a “catching up” holiday card since we hadn’t sent one in years. My heart wasn’t really into sending Christmas cards. When I changed it to a New Year card, that felt more right. Plus that gives me more time to send them. It’s a darn shame that Costco shuttered their Photo / Card printing services. Their prices were pretty reasonable. I ordered from Office Depot to test their quality. My experimental order coincided with a 60% off cards and invitations promo taking my $105 order (including tax and shipping) down $55. I also had some rewards money to apply so I’m spending about $30 out of pocket on 75 cards. I’ll be annoyed if they’re trash quality but not nearly as annoyed as if I paid Shutterfly prices!
Year 4, Day 255: PiC recently witnessed the same kid who attacked Smol Acrobat pinning down a little girl who was screaming at him to get off. He wouldn’t let her up until PiC saw what was happening and told him to get off her. Thankfully she wasn’t hurt but she was clearly distressed and it’s really frustrating that even with the safeguards and checks and staffing, this is still happening. So far Smol Acrobat is ok, but we can’t help feeling like it’s just a matter of time before this kid, who generally does this for a laugh from what we’ve seen, does someone more serious harm again. We’ve scheduled a call with the Director to get a read on what steps are being taken about this, but I suspect they won’t be able to bounce him out of there until and unless he harms someone a second time. The thing is we keep seeing him run at the other kids, not in anger, but rather because he thinks it’s funny to ram the others headfirst or things like that. Never quite serious enough to cause real injury but certainly nothing you want your kid to be subjected to, either.
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We would normally have had the tree up weeks ago, at my insistence, but it’s still not up yet because I’m feeling quite meh about it. I am on top of the presents and getting the house supplies stocked up. I know PiC will get on it but he usually does it for my sake. Maybe I just don’t have any emotional bandwidth left to want our own tree. Or maybe it’s just really hard to feel holiday related joy right now with all that’s going on in the world.
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Augh reminder to self, I need to open a Roth IRA for JB’s money. Their art store made a little money this year. I plan to donate a portion of the proceeds when we iron out all the kinks. For this first year, we’ll put the small amount into the Roth.
I’ve been having those nightmares too.
My kids opted out of decorating this year, though I did buy a Pride Nutcracker from Target after reading about Fox News dissing them on tv, so we have that out. MIL will have plenty of decorations though when we visit, so it will still seem Christmassy, just not at our house.
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I’m really sorry you’re also in the nightmares boat. I wish I knew what would help deter them for both of us.
I am glad they decided to decorate the tree in the end, it’s nice to have it over there where we can see it even if I didn’t want to participate this year.
May I suggest “Officer Buckle and Gloria” as a fun picture book? If you don’t already know about it, see if the library has it and read it to the younger kiddo.
Bless you for your holiday work. What a good example for your children about the power of sharing.
I haven’t heard of it, thank you for the recommendation! We will look for it.