By: Revanche

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (104)

May 30, 2022

Year 3 of COVID in the Bay Area.

Year 3, Day 66: 515 am wake-up.

Late last night I looked up ME/CFS to see if my night sweats might be a bonus symptom and it is. It also reminded me that both sore throats and flu symptoms are also normal bonus symptoms. I’ve been on my sore throat from a virus pain management all week to no avail. My throat stayed swollen and raw all week which is unusual for not developing the rest of the full blown cold or flu symptoms. Today I’m thinking this is an escalation of my CFS symptoms. Being solo with Smol Acrobat 3-4 hours a day twice a week is wearing me down harder and faster than usual. But it’s only going to get worse before it gets better. We don’t have daycare until October at the earliest. Le sigh.

So today’s short (naturally) nap was followed up by a looooong play session: checking out the new basket of toys I rotated in (yay new baskets!), working the 35 ml giant syringe I pulled out of a cabinet for their amusement, sitting down for a long session of sunblocking (their request). Followed up by the signs: all done, eat, milk. Remarkably civil compared to last week’s screeching and SITTING ON THEIR HANDS refusing to sign. We vacuumed, then went for a short walk, and then after reading a couple books, they hit the wall HARD. Me too, actually.

In an unusual move, I made myself take an hour to lay down instead of pushing through more work because my health needs it more than work needs to have one more email answered earlier.

Though actually the real internal battle was over taking the time to lay down versus cutting out more fabric for my next projects. I want to have fun, dangit!

But given the state of my hands and throat and head and well, the rest of me, resting had to be the wise move. Also, I need to buy that rotary cutter to help with the straight lines I’m simply not capable of achieving with a pair of scissors. I’ll need to cut out more mask filters as well and those are all straight lines, in bulk.

Year 3, Day 67: 515 am. Sigh.

A warm day! Just in time for JB’s outdoor class dance. They have been practicing all year, (or semester? it was unclear), long.

I crammed a full day of work into 4.5 hours because JB had an outdoor performance and then Smol had a short nap because of course they did. Didn’t feel great but it got the job done. Literally.

It was really jarring to see some of the kids unmasked at school. We knew it would happen but hadn’t actually seen it before today. I am glad it was only a few, at least, considering the constant stream of positive case notifications we get.

PiC and the kids picked up the bubble water table thing I’d ordered while I got dinner on the table which was kind of perfect because I got to eat first: alone and in peace. A rare treat! But the downside was their running an errand after our work day, and the kids enjoying the rare warm evening outside for a bit, means Smol didn’t make it to bed until 8 and didn’t sleep until 8:30. Way too late which guarantees an even earlier morning.

I myself didn’t make it to bed until nearly 10 which is pretty awful for the amount of time I needed for resting even if not sleeping.

Year 3, Day 68: 5 am. As expected. Usually PiC takes the ultra early shift but he’s completely beat this morning and I was conscious enough to take over so Smol and I logged a couple hours before it was time to get ready for work and school. I suppose this is the theme of the day: an extra early morning and JB has an extra early release from school.

*****

Somehow life and work has to get done in the middle of all the heartache that this country does absolutely fuck-all to prevent the slaughter of our elders in grocery stores, worshippers in places of worship, and children in schools. It’s heartbreaking and poisonous and horrible. And it still has to happen.

*****

Havarti cheese is really good for melty things like sandwiches and scrambled eggs.

*****

Morgan Stanley is shady as hell. They are now second on my “never do business with them!” list. We tried to transfer PiC’s Roth IRA to Fidelity and when they initiated the transfer, Morgan Stanley just coincidentally slapped up a couple of fees that prevented the transfer from going through. As soon as the transfer was cancelled by Fidelity, they reversed the fees. Coincidence? I think not. When PiC called them, they professed no knowledge of any such fees and why they’d be charged etc, etc, etc. Uh huh. THIS time, when Fidelity initiated the transfer, it went through. Absolute shocker.

*****

The water table was a hit with the kids. Smol’s all about flipping the doors and lids, dumping the water on themself, and trying to drink the bubbles. JB showed up after school to join the fun and was entranced by ALL OF IT. Even if we only get a few warm days this summer, I suspect it’ll feel worth the $35 we spent.

Year 3, Day 69: 5 am wake up. 😒

My throat is finally starting to feel better. In exchange my joints are all stiff and painful in the morning but usually after a few hours of activity, they warm up a bit. As usual, I have this in common with the elderly grandparents on our street. We chat about the weather and its effects on our bones regularly. In the game of Would you rather, I think I prefer this joint and muscle ache to the sore throat. If I must choose between them.

*****

Chores, so many chores. Three thank you cards for school done, one more thank you card to go. Two birthday cards for long time friends done. Emailed our local bookshop for a pile of books for a nibling’s birthday. Scheduled a pick up with the local charitable organization to donate a pile of household things. Opening packages of things I ordered for the kitchen and kids and then I just hit a wall. A wall of grief, a wall of exhaustion, a wall of the it’s all too muchness. Oh and we got another Positive COVID Case Notice from the school making it 3 days out of 4 this week alone. Yay.

*****

JB became a puddle on the ground moaning and groaning about making a mistake on their worksheet packet. They wanted to white-out the error. I didn’t. I mostly didn’t want to go find the white-out. But also I thought it was fine for them to demonstrate that they made a mistake, they identified the error and they corrected it. Why not? They’re in first grade. It’s an important skill to develop.

Today’s parenting lesson from my preference to not move: we make mistakes. The important thing to learn is not to never make mistakes. It’s to identify when we have and correct them.

They eventually recovered from the despair and thanked me for helping them out. That was weird. They’ve been dramatic, unreasonable and frankly pretty bratty lately. I was expecting more of the same huffing and puffing when I wouldn’t just hand them the easy solution on a platter.

*****

It has never felt more like Friday than today felt. We decided it was because our minds and bodies feel like we’ve logged a full five days of work, school, nonsense, stress, and exhaustion. But we still have to make it through one more day. I still have to finish my clearing up the play room project.

Year 3, Day 70: 430 am. This is an escalation. This week I’m trying to take a turn every other day, if I can, with the mornings. I’m also doing the absolute least possible to spare myself because I’m exhausted down to my marrow and nothing that’s happening in the world is helping that stress-fatigue. So they sat on me for a while and then cuddled my head a bit. They eventually moved on to playing with the toys they could reach and brought me the toys they couldn’t turn on. Flipped through their books until they found one I should read. We made it through an hour.

*****

I suspect that the stress of this week are settling in my joints and bones since I keep pushing through the fatigue that’s trying to drag me down. This amount of heartbreak isn’t good for anyone.

TGIF! Not having to work for a few days will be such a relief. Except I’m going to have a little trouble not thinking about some of it.

*****

Smol’s bottom molars are coming in bloodily and painfully this week. They are not a happy camper.

They have, however, expanded their delivery service. Anything is fair game now, so they might relocate a stack of paperbacks from my shelf, or all the small boxes piled by the door, all the rapid tests we’re packing up for the Lakota folks, or all the toys out of the basket. I have the perfect bait for a trap if I need to lure Smol into a specific area: stacks or groups of anything!

*****

Our favorite local Lebanese restaurant closed down and this is another layer of sadness. We really liked them. I hope the owners and employees land on their feet ok.

Sharing is caring!

Email

Twitter

Pinterest

0