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By: Revanche

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (123)

October 10, 2022

Year 3 of COVID in the Bay Area.

Year 3, Day 199: Another Monday at home with Smol Acrobat. Mondays continue to be the hardest day of the week. You’d think that would work for me. I prefer to get the hard stuff out of the way first. Maybe I should remind myself of this when the grumpiness meter rises.

*****

I was catching up on old posts this weekend and Hawaii Planner’s post reminded me of my first gift card snafu: Lack of organization is expensive. It was maybe ten years ago that I went to the trouble of buying $500 Costco gift cards to meet the minimum spend on a credit card bonus.

The gift cards were intended to cover gas and groceries at times that I wanted to keep our credit card bill down a bit, or just to have some non cash backup money in our wallets.

I didn’t have a good system in place back then and I’ve always had a sneaking suspicion that I didn’t fully use up all the cards and maybe ended up negating the bonus value we earned. Since then I’ve tended to stick with either physical cards that I label with a date and a balance or I add the gift card to my online account for the specific store. I only feel confident about the latter for some, larger corporate type, stores though. I lost $119 in Munchery gift card credit when they went under and I’m still salty about that. I regularly buy Target gift cards during their 10% off promotions which we use as gifts a lot and picked up a few Penzey’s gift cards when they have the $35 for $50 sale so I’m always open to better tracking systems.

Year 3, Day 200: The dawn came draped in a grey, gloomy, break out the puffer jackets, fog blanket that matches my cotton brain and mood perfectly.

I’m limping along on 2.5 hours of sleep today. My body had a bizarre reaction to absolutely nothing, acting as though I’d taken Serious Pain Meds. I hadn’t but most of the night was spent feeling drug-induced nausea sans drugs. I can’t express how very annoying that was! But I’m thankful that if it had to happen, it was before a daycare day so I had the option to find an hour or two to rest. Most days, that’s not an option at all.

Our unexpected half day power outage reminded me that we still need some things for (minor) disaster planning: a UPS for our modem and server, a backup battery for our garage door opener, and portable generator big enough to power our fridge/freezer for short periods if we have an outage for longer than five hours. That’s at least a couple thousand dollars or more in the case of the portable generator, but I’m hoping to spot a good sale. We already have a gas generator but it’s only safe for outdoor use. This graphic made me laugh. Yes, doubling and tripling your generators DOES create “even more power”.

Year 3, Day 201: I ran out of nesting on this comment thread at Nicole and Maggie and I was still pondering. Is there such a thing as an authentic or unauthentic life? My religion doesn’t say anything about it. I do think that our actions speak louder than our words. But I’m also not sure if I believe that we are who we act like we are, either. It feels too final. But maybe the idea isn’t that we’re immutably who we are, just that whoever we act like is who we are in that moment and if we choose to change, then that’s who we are.

Then again, my cotton brain has not improved since last night’s sleep was terrible too. I was adrift in what felt like a conscious sleep most of the night, so it’s possible my synapses are just not connecting.

*****

Three weeks ago I decided to start writing cards or letters regularly to an older friend who is suffering from Alzheimer’s. I don’t want to jinx myself but I’m now in the middle of my third letter. I’ve sent a letter once a week for two weeks now, and this would make the third. They’re utterly mundane letters but I hope they bring a touch of diversion in their boredom.

Year 3, Day 202: Massage day!

I spent 20 minutes clearing up emails and checking for critical stuff and then headed out for a session. It was both massage and brain therapy, my massage therapist and I had a wonderful conversation digging deeply into our behavioral patterns (perfectionism, dismissing and ignoring birthdays and anniversaries because we learned that we and our accomplishments weren’t notable, subtracting joy and substituting duty for it) and we have offered each other homework. She asked me to write a list of what used to bring me joy and what brings me joy today. In turn, I asked her to consider what she might enjoy in honor of her birthday. It’s nice to have someone to talk to about this as I mulled over my therapist’s suggestion that I’ve blocked much of what brings me joy because I don’t think I deserve it.

After getting home, I did get right to work as soon as I gathered up a nice snack for myself and realized: I normally wouldn’t even do this much because I’ve convinced myself that I don’t even deserve to eat or drink first. Wow this pattern runs deep.

Year 3, Day 203: A routine rapid test round turned up three negatives for the rest of us, and a faint positive for Smol. I’m starting to think they just don’t work for Smol. We took them for a PCR test and that turned up negative (thank you 2-hour PCR testing!) It’s baffling. But they ARE a bit sick. They have a runny nose, aren’t napping well, and seem to be running a temperature. Can’t really confirm that last so well, none of our three thermometers are behaving.

Which reminds me! Target’s running an early Deal Days thing and I have a list of non-essential things to buy. Some hangers, my supplements, the plastic bags for our storage space. I’m trying to balance what we need and not get suckered trying to meet the minimums on the Buy $50 of X and get $10 back deals.

We have our COVID boosters tomorrow, and three of us still need flu shots. PiC’s employer took care of his flu shot already. I meant to do our flu shots today and adult boosters tomorrow but Smol can’t and I shouldn’t if I’m also feeling unwell. Even if it’s not Smol’s viral thing bothering me, I’m rundown from this week’s inability to sleep.

I’m already taking a risk keeping our boosters appointments but we’ve waited weeks for these and I’m not willing to wait another 3-4 weeks for another appointment.

Also! I love Aliette de Bodard’s books and you may too!

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