By: Revanche

Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (143)

February 27, 2023

Year 3 of COVID in the Bay Area.

Year 3, Day 333: Smol Acrobat was up at 530 am again. *falls on face* PiC and I split the painful morning hours but even with snagging an extra hour and a half, my body is absolutely wrecked. Over the weekend I developed another sore throat. If this is a new infection, I … well, I would want to throw things but that’s not an option right now. My everything is so off balance that I’ve actually lost muscle memory – plain forgot basic keyword shortcuts when typing.

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PiC said he wanted to spend more time with JB on their day off and I … don’t. Poised on the cliff over Guilt Spiral Bay, I had to remind myself that he spends his work day away from them. I do school pick up every day, which is fine. But that means I’m managing their activities even if minimally on week days. I have a lot less separation between parenting and work time than he does. I’m already “spending time” with them every day, albeit in the least positive way, so it doesn’t make me a bad mom for not wanting more today (on their day off when it’s not our day off). Also, see: sick again. I don’t want to spend time with anyone right now but my pillow and my blanket. Spiral averted.

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Their one chore was getting the laundry from the washer to the dryer and putting it away. Guess who repeatedly ran it on air fluff instead of timed dry, so it was still damp an hour later? Ah well.

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After a long walk in the unseasonable sun, it’s our one warm day this week, I had a spurt of energy. Tried (they’re closed) to schedule my sleep study, tried (succeeded) to cancel our Alaska cards since they upped the annual fee, organized the stack of paperwork needed to run errands when places are open again (bank, courthouse, library). We also need to renew our Global Entry passes, or transfer them to PreCheck. This requires more brainpower than I currently have. I also seem to have misplaced PiC’s Global Entry card.. that’s not good. I keep everything together but that one seems to have gone missing…YIKES FACE. It’s got to be somewhere around here.

I also found a stash of Gold and Silver Experience AMC tickets bought at a discount before I left one of my old jobs over ten years ago. I knew they were there but hadn’t ever ventured to ask if they’re still any good until today. Fueled by the solar energy collected on my walk, it turns out that they are no longer accepted in theatres as of July 1, 2018. Oops. I can apparently exchange them for Black or Yellow tickets. This to do list keeps getting longer and longer.

I can cross off the tickets at least. That was the least important item but the easiest one to do while throwing together dinner: scanned all the tickets and emailed them to the exchange email address. I think they will become part of this year’s batch of Christmas presents. I’ve had some of these since 2007. It’s time to let them go, we’re not going to a theatre again for who knows how long.

Like a mouse and a cookie, that reminded me that a 1099-B needs to be recorded in our tax documents which means I have work out the cost basis because the stupid system doesn’t include that in the 1099-B. Ugh. It’s in a different currency so I have to take the Fair Market Value * the number of shares * USD conversion rate to get the cost basis and for some reason it’s just never that straightforward. Bah. I wrestled with that too and I think finished up with seconds to spare before needing to tend to children, dinner, bath, bed.

Year 3, Day 334: The Tuesday of surprises. PiC fielded the tough night with Smol, complete with a leaky diaper mishap. (That’s the second one this week, what’s up with that? I, on the other hand, actually got a solid chunk of sleep for the first time in weeks which was so much needed. I’ve been trying to fight off either another viral infection or a worsening of my original symptoms. Even though I woke up very sluggishly, my cough and congestion symptoms were less severe than yesterday.)

After slogging through a load of work, listening to the winds howl, JB and I dashed off to their self defense class. PiC and I planned for him to pick up pizza since I managed to forget my own wallet. I never leave home without my wallet.

On our way home we discovered that we’d narrowly missed having our car smashed by a lightpost that had blown over.

After a huge sigh of relief, we sat in heavy traffic to find that huge swaths of the city had lost power. In fact, thousands of people had already lost power earlier in the day and it was our turn. I abused the garage door opener for not opening the door unjustly.

We broke out the lanterns I’d bought in the last storm and discovered that even though I thought I had pulled them all out and tested them, the fourth one was broken inside. SIGH.

But the surviving three were sufficient for our electricity-free evening as we adjusted to no heat on a very cold night. Everyone camped in our bed, until Smol’s fussing drove JB back to their room. It wasn’t cold enough for them to tolerate the intermittent screeching.

This was a useful dry run for our disaster planning: I knew where the essential light supplies were right away. I continued to fret about the refrigerator and freezer so have determined that our next supply purchases will be generators that can power each fridge, and a UPS for our modem in case lack of power is the only thing blocking our access to Internet.

This was as easy a test run as you could get. We still had safe gas lines for the stove and our heater, and running water for drinking, cooking, and bathing. I don’t particularly want to practice without either of those two amenities but we probably should.

Year 3, Day 335: Thankfully, it was a mostly quiet day after the ups and downs of yesterday. Everyone went their respective ways for the day. I got a few hours to work in silence. Had a quick catch up with one of my people. Finally took pictures of Smol Acrobat’s Contigo water bottle that’s begun to leak profusely to send in for the warranty.

Got enough work done to play several lightning rounds of Connect Four with JB at the end of the afternoon.

I’m extremely grateful to have clean running water, functional indoor plumbing, and electricity.

Year 3, Day 336: Another weird day. We had to take Smol in for a hearing test which blew most of the morning working hours. Blergh.

Everything feels off today, emotionally. Not on the deep end of it all, at least. Just off kilter. I feel unsettled in my body and mind.

I submitted another warranty claim to Contigo because as soon as I swapped the kids’ water bottles, JB’s old reliable one started leaking too. Smol can turn it upside down and pour it out which is oh so perfect when you’re driving and they’re in their car seat.

I’ve been fighting a prolonged slow battle with ant scouts in the kitchen. I couldn’t figure out where they were coming from because they never sent more than 1-2 a day for a week. When there were a dozen at once, they were swarmed in one spot so I still couldn’t find their trail. I finally spotted one lurking just under the baseboards earlier this week, so I lined that whole baseboard with boric acid. The next day, JB hollered “mom! Ants!” Two more scouts just wandering about. I was disappointed but, since then, we haven’t seen any. Have we won or have they just regrouped to come in elsewhere more stealthily?

Fingers crossed.

Year 3, Day 337: The storm I forgot about didn’t forget about us. It was all very dramatic. Lightning, thunder booms, took out our power for hours in the middle of the night. I’m not sure I got any real sleep, I was up listening to the deluge and wondering if school would have power today.

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In the ongoing saga that is Smol Acrobat collecting every virus known to childcare like they’re Pogs, we’re now facing the side effects of caring attentively for them. They’re recovering from their last fever and illness and cough 🤞🤞🤞 (knock wood) but still waking up 3 or 4 times a night crying. When they’re sick, we go to them immediately because they might vomit or have vomited from coughing too hard or feel terrible and desperately need soothing before hysteria (and vomit) sets in. Now they’re waking up angry probably out of habit and have forgotten how to self soothe and I don’t even know. Are we sleep training again? Is this what’s happening in toddlerhood?

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Today was a very bad day to end a rollercoaster of a week. It felt like I was off meds entirely. (I wasn’t.) But this dip has been building for a few days. My brain is convinced I’m suspended in time and space, neither here nor there, uprooted and out of touch with everyone.

My mood was thirty degrees below zero, and the rain and hail matched it perfectly. It was so bad that the prospect of the weekend and even the suggestion of a sushi dinner for a pick me up elicited only a frown. I love sushi, it’s only a once in a while treat, and not even that could budge my spirit that needed something but I couldn’t identify what. So I practiced my breathing, took a walk in the brief breaks between rain clouds, vented my worries to friends when we got the notice that JB had been exposed to COVID at school, and rode the waves of the Whatever This Is into the night.

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