Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (180)
November 13, 2023
Year 4 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Year 4, Day 225: Remember that rest I was really hoping to get this weekend, but knew I wouldn’t? I was not wrong! The three hour party turned into a five hour rendezvous because the kids REALLY didn’t want to leave when the party was over and our friends clearly needed help cleaning up after the … 100? guests left. That is a wild guess, it just felt like 100 people. Far too many people. Smol Acrobat and I were overwhelmed before we even got into the house so we hung outside for a while. I didn’t mind but my body most definitely minded. Then Smol’s body took a swan dive into a fever during a terrible night of “sleep” wherein I had to get up to hug them six times, once an hour or so. Naturally, they woke up at 7 am refreshed and chirpy while my joints were rusty and creaky like the Tin Man’s. I couldn’t raise my left arm half the day and my knees were shot.
On the plus side, I did manage to plow through enough work to call it a day, order toothpaste for Sera, and pick out a holiday card for a friend’s kids.
Year 4, Day 226: Smol Acrobat and I are miserable today. Very little sleep and they’re feverish and alternating between chills and sweats. I’m not very symptomatic, thanks to my antiviral, but I have an echoing chamber of nothingness in place of my brain and the body aches are this side of overwhelming. PiC took the day off to take care of Smol so I could work. It should be my turn to take the day off tomorrow, since Smol won’t be able to go back to daycare until they’re fever free for 24 hours. They tested negative on our home test. PiC insisted he’d take the day again and take care of them. We should probably split the day.
I am going to try to catch some rest tonight since sleep deprivation is eating me alive. The irony is that when Smol is sick, my subconscious goes to hypervigilent mode and wakes up 4-6x a night listening for them even if PiC is taking the night shift. So even when they aren’t waking me, I’m waking me. Very counterproductive, body.
As extra fun, JB’s jaw expander just fell out of their mouth. How is that even possible? It was glued in!
Year 4, Day 227: Smol’s fever is down, thankfully, but they’re still dripping like a faucet with a hacking cough. We’re juggling a bit of work and staying home with them today. About half their class is out sick too.
You’d think it was obvious to me at least that we’re doing this without much help but my therapist observing that out loud was a funny perspective. She recently observed: “you don’t have any grandparents, or aunts and uncles, or friends that are helping out. You’re doing a lot on your own.” And … yes.. Day to day, I forget that the reason other people around us can do so much is they have family to rely on. Hell, I’ve been jealous that other people have family to rely on and I still forget that that’s why I feel overwhelmed at times. If it’s not done by me, then it’s done by PiC. And if he’s not doing it, then I’m doing it. We expect JB to help out but there’s only so much that they can do while also attending to their schoolwork and activities, AND still being a kid – they still get hours a week of just being a kid doing whatever they want (within reason). It’s a lot more obvious to me on days like this that it’s just us when the chips are down. I get one week a year when my favorite relative comes to stay where I can relax but that’s it. Just the two of us.
I’ve been putting things to my list to buy when the Black Friday sales come up but some prices are good enough to buy now. I surprised the family with a refrigerator whiteboard and everyone was quite pleased with it. 🎉 Little wins!
I’d better add a hairbrush. All the little protective tips on mine have fallen off, I think I’ve had this one since 2002, and hairbrushing hurts. I also want a new desk chair and a whiteboard for my office. My desk chair is still good but not good for me. My body needs something with a lot more give. PiC can have this one since he’s just been making do with a dining chair.
Lots of small things to keep on my radar. Returning PiC’s crappy bike light for a refund. Sending thank you cards and personal winter holiday cards. Figuring out how to handle the holiday card for the wider masses and how many I need to send – we haven’t sent one since 2019. I hate that Costco stopped doing photo prints. They were a good low cost alternative. Making sure everyone has medication supplies through January, no one wants to be fighting pharmacy crowds in December. Buy some real Sudafed, speaking of the pharmacy! Finish organizing the hand me downs to share with small cousins. Repair my skirt’s torn pocket.
Year 4, Day 228: When PiC asked me on Sunday how my work week looked, I mumbled some not words in reply because I couldn’t yet wrap my head around the future yet. Sadly, I wasn’t prepared as to how this whole week would be wrecked by the mutant virus circulating through Smol’s daycare. It’s been a week of coughing, sniffling, and worryingly high fevers. The doctor just confirmed that their lungs sound bad all over. But since their breathing is still fine so we’re to keep an eye on them and report back in two days if the fevers continue. The doc expects this will need another week or two to clear up, at best. I don’t even want to think about “at worst”.
I was overly optimistic about my antiviral ‘s ability to safeguard me from Smol’s germs, too. I’m congested and my throat is giving off all the warning signs.
Naturally this is when a new major deadline that can’t be pushed off springs up at work.
And since nothing is going our way right now, I ran the wash and found after the fact that a diaper had somehow gotten mixed up with the clothes. It left white bits on EVERYTHING including my favorite (black) t-shirt.
I would like to quit everything now, please.
Year 4, Day 229: Friday food review! Fancy baked potato night: baked taters topped with butter, sour cream, cheesy broccoli, bacon crumbles, shredded cheese and our homegrown chives! Everyone not named Smol Acrobat loved it. Smol Acrobat’s excused, they are so sick this week. The bacon crumbles are amazing by the way. A bag from Costco has made eating so much tastier. I add them to eggs some mornings, I topped my Mac n cheese with them and that was heavenly.
You do so much more than most of us do. I am certain your friends do not want your help/gifts/thoughtfulness at the expense of your health (and if they do, then they are not actually friends). Don’t forget your own oxygen mask.
It’s so hard to tell where we’re doing “more” vs “not enough” sometimes. But we are trying to balance.
Hard agree with Nicole and Maggie. Do what you can to take care of yourself, because you really don’t have much help and support. I would tell you to ask for help/support from friends that you do the same for, but I also know that is probably untenably hard to do.
Re; winter holiday cards, I started with a “grand plan” to do professional photos and cards, but immediately was overwhelmed by that (both the expense and planning). I’m settling for everyone getting some haircuts and figuring out our own mini iPhone photo shoot and sending out. I did splurge on auto addressed envelopes w/cards last year from Minited, because it was the only way it was going to happen. I may do the same this year unless I get more ambitious.
Hope Smol is feeling better very soon!
It’s hard in the sense that I need on the spot support most of the time and no one can do that. I support friends a lot from afar, but that’s limited too.
Haircuts and home photos sound perfect.
Not a diaper in the washing machine!!! Noooo! That was always the absolute worst. I remember that horror viscerally. I’m so sorry.
And yes, you do so much and you (your family) really don’t have anyone to fall back on. We have two sets of grandparents nearby and while they generally won’t help when we’re sick (especially since the pandemic) they do help in all sorts of other ways. It’s the main reason we stay in this super expensive area on our not very generous salaries. I don’t know if we’d stay here without that support.
Also, whatever has been going around has been awful. All my students have had it. All my family has had it. The cough especially lasts forever. I hope you’re all on the mend by now; or are soon.
This was our first one and it was every bit as terrible as you remember, I think! Ugh. Just the worst.
Even just one person helping once a year feels like an amazing shift in everything, I can only dream of how it’d be to have more than one person to lean on now and again.
We’d have to make so so so much more to be able to hire on the same amounts of help, I think.
It’s been a VERY viral season 😩 but we’ve finally got a moment of reprieve. 🤞 I hope the rest of the year stays virus free for your family.