April 26, 2022
Two months ago, when PiC started the research into swim programs, I appreciated the legwork, but also had negative desire to add anything to our schedules and decisionmaking and budget.
BUT I took my deep breaths and did my best to focus on staring into the middle distance where I didn’t obstruct, if I couldn’t embrace a future with swim lessons in it. They started up this month, once he found a weekly lesson at a time that isn’t too terribly disruptive, at astronomical prices. We used to pay $20-30 a lesson, it’s $60 a lesson with this program *faint*. But we simply cannot get back into the YMCA’s program. They’re overbooked for months out. JB is over the moon about this one. They love being back in the water, they have three swimsuits to wear, they’re all around ecstatic. I’m glad about that part. It helps a bit with my sadness over their not having had swim for two+ years. Thank goodness for PiC doing all the heavy lifting on that and on Spring Break activities and taking that week off to mind the kids.
*****
Kids as humans
I was struggling with JB’s transition from Little Kid to not so Little but still not Big Kid last year. Because of pandemic haze, it felt like I missed so much. Now that they are definitely Kid, even if not yet Big Kid(? I don’t know what that transition point is) I have this perhaps unreasonable fear rearing up that as much as we foster their individuality, along with civility and humanity, what if I don’t much like the person they are as an adult? I don’t like most people as it is, and we are so dissimilar. I won’t try to mold them into my image but their personality is so far from restful, and that’s great if that makes them happy and fulfilled, but am I the only parent who wonders if they’ll get along with their kids as adults? Or whether their kid will like them as a person?
I hope we’ll always love each other and enjoy each other’s company. I hope this is just a phase since everyone must have less favorite age ranges.
Life with Smol Acrobat
I’m wondering, and maybe worrying a little, how behind Smol is at this point.
They’re growing physically and are engaged with us but we don’t do directed developmental stuff with them like they’d do in daycare. I hadn’t been taking the time at mealtimes to work on their utensils use. They still don’t respond as programmed to the clean up song, they’re still in the emptying buckets and putting them on their head stage.
We do music and reading and counting and the alphabet and lots of outside time but … I’m getting a bit more concerned about what we should be fostering and how to make it happen.
I can’t quite remember what JB was capable of at this age, though I think they did have cleaning up down pat by now. I do remember that they met their now BFF around this age-ish. Definitely by 18-19 months. At that age, that kid was astoundingly articulate already. I remember that JB wasn’t but they weren’t for a long while, speaking articulately was a struggle for a long while. The two kids were at opposite ends of the verbal spectrum so that gives me no real idea of where Smol should be.
I’m wondering if all the other kids at this age are competently feeding themselves. Since first wondering this, I’ve leaned hard into making myself not feed them directly, assisting them with the spoon instead and encouraging their independent feeding more but sometimes all they do is fork around and won’t eat anything at all unless I put the food in their mouth. I can’t help but worry that I’ve/we’ve held them back because we simply haven’t had time or energy to patiently let them feed themselves (or more realistically paint themselves in food).
*****
Maybe my favorite thing right now is once every night during dinner, they grab my hand and lay their cheek on it. Just a little headrest. It’s perplexing but cute and they get a whole lot of giggles out of it.
They also like hugging my feet. I don’t understand that either but whatever. It’s cute.
*****
We learned to sign “read” and to high five this month. Not well but they’re trying and it’s fun to see a new skill stick after a few tries. We also, after I mulled it over above, worked on spoon skills and they’re slowly getting better at scooping food into a spoon and then into their mouth. Toddler coordination and instinct to fling things aside, they lack the motivation to feed themselves so I have to push. They’re used to me helping and it’s a tough thing to wean them off the expectation that I’ll help when I’m right there.
But the more we do it, the more they build up enthusiasm for self feeding. It’s incremental but it’s still progress.
Pupdate
Sera is starting to visibly show age these past couple of months. Her muzzle is getting a bit of that salt flecked look and she’s slowing down a little bit. She’s still strong as a little ox and has her zoomies but she’s lost interest in playing fetch and just wants to sunbathe. It’s weird, we adopted Seamus when he was this age and he was in his prime. I worked on him for months to combat his allergies, bring his weight up and put gloss back into his coat. At 10 and 11 years, he was strong as a bull and still enthusiastic as heck. At 14 he was doing backflips to catch a ball. I spotted some dryness in her coat and I’m going to start her on his sardines regimen to help put the shine back in.
She’s Smol Acrobat’s dog and I hope they have at least six years with her. They love trying to cuddle her even if she simply tolerates it.
They’re good for each other the same way she was good for Seamus even if he only tolerated her cuddles.
Precious Moments
Smol’s obsession with Sera’s food bowl has reached a new level. They brought their Pikachu friend to the bowl and stuck his head in – feeding time for friends! Next day, they picked up the bowl themselves and walked around pretending to eat from it. Sera had absolutely no opinion on the matter.
The moment Smol cries, JB drops whatever they’re doing and swoops in to the rescue. “I’m here I’m here I love you you’re ok!”
*****
JB making up an origin story for the shark plushie: “Did you know why sharkie had to come live with us? His mom and dad were trying to eat him. And his brothers and sisters were too! Because sharks eat sharks. And the other fish wouldn’t help him because they thought he was trying to trick them.”
*****
So this was absolutely amazing. I didn’t think anything would come of it but for a few weeks, before putting them down, I’d ask Smol if they were all done and we’d head in for their bedtime routine when they signed all done.
On Sunday, it was getting close to the end of Smol’s period of awake time. They tend to do better with 3 hours of awake time between naps now. We’d played with some toys, and then I was reading to them. We were still ten minutes out from naptime, I thought. Partway through a second book, they reached out, closed it, and signed “all done”. I said oh, ok, you’re ready for sleep? They climbed up on me and put their head on my shoulder like an emphatic yes. We went through the routine of brushing teeth, changing into pajamas and reading one more book and then they were out like a light a few minutes after being put down. It was perfect! I am still marveling that they accurately judged their own need and communicated.
That ended after a week. But it was lovely while it lasted!
:: The age difference between the two is both helpful and jarring at the same time. Growing up, everyone was always two years apart from their siblings so this is a bit out of my lived experience.
March 22, 2022
Academics
JB has been struggling with math reasoning. They’ve memorized enough answers that they have been spending the past semester refusing to use their strategies and literally coming up with their answers and writing out the strategies afterward to match their answer. No wonder they don’t know what the hell they’re doing when faced with a word problem.
This wakes up all my personal math related anxiety and deep fear that they’re going through what I did with math. I never did understand the concepts that my brain elided over in geometry and algebra. It literally would not stick no matter what the teacher or tutor explained and I felt dumb as a rock. I don’t want that for my kid!
We’re tackling this from multiple angles. PiC and I are both doing daily reinforcement in the form of conversational pop quizzes and sharing our personal strategies for solving arithmetic mentally. Most of that is PiC, I am terrible at this. And thank goodness we have support for the rest of this school year from their tutor but they’re not going to have that in second grade. I hate this and I hate that their teacher didn’t bother to tell us when this first started.
Life with Smol Acrobat
Smol’s been working on drinking from open cups, a messy proposition at the best of times, and these are not the best of times. After dozens of tries, and fights because they wanted to hold the cup of water independently and throw it over their head but I wouldn’t let go entirely and therefore am just the worst person ever, something clicked and they more frequently tried to drink than to shake the cup. They still shake it and still get a face full of water.
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When we realized we had six more months without childcare, I looked through Lakeshore’s catalog for some educational things to help us get through. Everything was so expensive that I held off and thankfully they have hit a stage where anything “new” is entertaining.
JB used to rummage through the recycling bag regularly. Now all our recycling gets handed to Smol for a day before it goes out.
Smol has the standard sets of blocks handed down from JB. Other perfectly acceptable toys and games: a jar without the lid and a spoon to walk around stirring. Bonus games: wielding the spoon but lost the jar. Also wearing the jar on their fist but lost the spoon. Oh found the spoon while holding the jar! Throw yourself at mom in excitement. My take home kit from the dentist is excellent to chew on. A newspaper torn into strips, we hand the sheaf back and forth, one by one.
****
Smol is very into animals. They ask for each of their little plastic animals to be held up for them to kiss. They love tiny fingerpuppet animals, those all get a kiss. Sera comes in for lots and lots of pets and attempted cuddles which are still very confusing to her at all times.
*****
Those little eyes are hilarious.
They’ve been practicing a wicked burn sideeye, the intensity of which can scorch a trail across its path, but for the pleased mischievous grin that bursts out after a particularly successful glare.
When PiC and I stand side by side facing them, Smol’s eyes flick back and forth between the two of us faster and faster until you could set a metronome to the flicking. They are mightily amused by this too. As am I.
***
Pupdate
Sera isn’t super pleased about this development but I’ve woken up to one of my dog caring responsibilities that I’ve been leaving by the wayside from overwhelm: dental care. I feel terribly that I’ve not been attentive to her teeth but I know it’s because I literally could not handle one more caring thing. Now I can, so I do. I brushed her teeth gently 5 times a week but will likely need to budget for a dental cleaning for her this year. Sigh. It was likely necessary this year anyway, I think she’s ten this year if you can believe that.
She is not a great paw at hide and seek. I had tucked myself into a corner of the bedroom for a quiet moment. At the sound of paws in the hallway, I called her over for a pet.
No response.
I called her again.
No response.
I poked my head out and saw her staring fixedly at the wall, confused. I called again. She jumped and then came over wagging her tail.
She had no idea where I was. 🤦🏻♀️ Her nose is apparently not that good.
Precious Moments
JB explaining cotton candy: they basically take clouds and turn them into sugar?
JB: what’s the letter at the end of the rainbow?
We look at each other.
PiC: w.
JB: Ugh! Don’t tell her!
Me: I know how to spell rainbow!!
Smol Acrobat holding a twin pack of toothbrushes runs past: yahhh yah yahhhh!!!
February 22, 2022
I get a turn?
JB’s normally an equal opportunity attention hound with a STRONG preference for PiC. Lately, they’ve been coming to me for more attention, hugging me more, calling me Mommy, and asking me to read to them for bedtime. Up until a couple months ago, they actively did not want me to read to them to the point that when PiC would come to say goodnight if I was reading, they’d remove the book from my hand and say ok! Daddy can read now!! (Implied: byyyyeeeee-eeeee)
It’s rather bemusing. They’ve always been his and the two of them always enjoyed a very close relationship. Usually I’m just orbiting their cozy companionship. I can’t even say I’m out of practice being wanted, I was never wanted long enough to GET in practice. I always assumed I’d have my turn when the time was right but I didn’t expect it to feel so weird when it did come around.
With Smol, I’m wanted about as often as PiC is and that’s also a funny feeling. I like being wanted sometimes but it’s an unusual feeling. Of course we both play second fiddle to JB, the apple of Smol’s eye.
Life with Smol Acrobat
We’re entering my favorite baby stage where Smol has a tiny modicum of understanding of the world and is soaking it all up and banging on everything to see what that does.
I’m restraining myself from assisting the way I would a few months ago and displayed no awareness of space or gravity. They dropped a book off a step and instead of pitching facefirst off the step as usual going after it, they carefully sat down, braced their body, and reached down only after they were properly stable. I was so proud!
I also love their penchant for cuddles. They love to come lay their head on my face or head, sometimes at speed which results in a BONK, sometimes gently where it feels like getting a kitty face rub. (more…)
December 28, 2021
Navigating Conflict
JB has a cousin with terrible manners (ignores people talking to them, snatches things out of people’s hands, whines and pouts and shouts to get their own way as a first resort, makes themselves out to be the victim when they’ve accidentally hurt someone in the course of play, etc). Lots of small bullying behaviors, PiC says. Personally I don’t enjoy this kid’s company at all. I know they’re not at heart a bad kid. This is still on the parents who are totally permissive and let the kid get away with being a complete jerk. We see them ignoring the behaviors all the time.
Meanwhile, JB cherishes all their cousins and still enthusiastically plays with them even though there is a guaranteed conflict every 2-30 minutes. I’m not sure what to make of their willingness to keep playing with such an obnoxious kid but that’s not my issue. (Though truly I am puzzled by it.)
PiC and I had a long talk about our responsibility here as parents and adults because we want JB to learn to navigate conflict but we also do not want stand by and let certain behaviors pass, nor do we want JB to think that they have to accept these kinds of behaviors. Not least because it grates our very souls. We have no solid answers but we were ruminating on the good ways to deal with this. PiC commented that his enforcement of our rules across the board and being strict with the nibling is between us and the nibling, it doesn’t help JB navigate the issues. That got me thinking. Maybe it does. It’s our responsibility to enforce house rules: we don’t snatch things out of people’s hands, we respond when we are spoken to, we use our words.
And when we do our job, a job our relatives dismally fail to do, I theorize that it empowers JB to stand up for themselves and hold firm when they want to, when the cousin is being a jerk. I could be totally wrong but this is a working theory and this is a long term situation so we have way more time than I like to think about to keep navigating.
Creative work
JB has assignments to use their class assigned words in complete sentences and I think they’re a real hoot.
I will send a big package and it will have ghosts in it.
I will go around the poop so I won’t step in it.
A fish is going to eat me on Monday.
Life with Smol Acrobat
New tricks: they have mastered the M and B sounds. MAAAAAAMMMM MAMMM. BA BA BA BA! Bao bao bao! Ah BA!
We’re also playing games. They’ll pretend to feed me, or pretend to pick stuff up and give it to me and laugh when I play along.
It’s so interesting how they communicate at this age with no words. My friend wondered what they’re thinking at this age and I can’t get that question out of my head.
Clapping: is a huge source of entertainment. They rip off their bib with dramatic flourish and then clap for themselves so proudly.
I’m less proud because we’re usually not done with the meal, their hands, face, bib and now their shirt are a mess and now half that mess is on the floor. But they’re so happy.
Watching Smol go to sleep on a hard day is still a journey:
Insert a squalling or whiny or impatient Smol into the crib. Upon touchdown, I hand them their bear friend whose ears are suspiciously still wet even though no one has touched it for a couple hours. Gross.
They grin like they know what I’m thinking.
I wave and leave to watch on the monitor. They hold the bear by the ears and roll around for ten minutes, cuddling and snuggling. Just when you think, prematurely, they might be slowing up, up they pop. One hand in mouth, one hand petting bear friend, then they fold in half at the waist over the bear. Up again, then folded over again. And again. Soon they look like a tilting toy, a round bottomed baby, that keeps rocking forward and back and back and forward. Hand always in mouth.
Then they move over to another plushie friend, hello hedgehog. Hi hedgie friend. Nuzzle nuzzle. Hedgie goes on the head. Hedgie goes under the chin. Hedgie goes over the shoulder because hedgie isn’t big enough for a proper squish squash. Back to the bear friend. Pet pet pet bear face. Squish bear friend. Whack dog friend on the head with flailing hand. Intentional? No idea.
Fall over on face hugging bear friend. Pass out.
Reading buddy. They’ve always been reasonably attentive to their bedtime reading books but are usually too active after a nap to sit for a book. That seems to be changing a bit this month: they’ll sit and listen to two short books after naps too. Not always, but it’s a nice start.
Skills(ish): they JUST got motivated enough to hold their own bottle. Great. Just in time for me to start needing to plan to transition them off bottles in a couple months! Awesome. Also awesome, they don’t think milk should be in anything but a bottle. Water they’ll drink out of anything. Milk? No.
Pupdate
I spotted a flea on Sera the other day. You know I am deeply interested in taking good care of my dogs, so the first time that happened with Seamus, I had the screaming heebies and felt horrible about it, like I was a collosal mom dog failure. Since then I’ve learned that we have a surprising amount of wildlife here: pumas, skunks, raccoons, feral cats, all kinds of critters running around.
Even the most well kept dogs are going to catch the occasional hitchhiker. And generally that’s all it is. I check them thoroughly after every time I catch the odd one, it only happens once every year or so, and make sure they’re up to date on their flea meds and go on. Sera seems unnerved by the thorough flea checks. I assure her that she didn’t do anything wrong but I don’t think she gets it.
Precious Moments
JB singing a song from a toy, questioning the lyrics: I’ve been working on a bulldozer, all the livelong day. Wait. Maybe it’s hard to live all day? I’ve been working on a bulldozer living all day? I’ve been working on a bulldozer, it’s been a long day?
November 23, 2021
Conversations with JB
Over breakfast one day, we talked about the coveted Mr. Sketch scented markers they would sniff all day if I’d let them and why I didn’t let them sniff markers, even harmless ones, until we had a chat about it. I don’t think I had even heard about whip-its until watching The Good Place but kids inhaling things for a euphoric high, or eating things that aren’t food on a dare (hi, Tide pods?), or inhaling and ingesting things that really shouldn’t be isn’t new in the world. We talked about how, often, kids will make foolish decisions and pressure other kids to do the same or to follow them into trouble. It can be harmless (we cousins used to follow each other into mischief all the time) but it can also be really harmful (when it gets to ingesting non foods or inhaling anything).
*****
We also talked about scammers. They asked what a scam call was, so I explained that some people try to call and trick you out of your money. How??
Well, sometimes they say they’re from your bank, and they need your password because something is broken and they need to fix it so that you can get to your money. Or they might say oh, give me your info so I can send you money. Do you think they ever send that money?
JB: noooooo!
Me: Nope. Who is going to give you free money if they don’t know you??
We discussed how scammers use fear or greed or both to push people into doing what they want. We even lightly touched on how my dad was a scammer, he lied to me playing on my desires to help my family, and took my money and ran.
JB: He’s the worst!
Me: Yep. That’s true.
Portion control
We typically tell JB how much of something they’re allowed to eat because given free rein, they’d likely gobble up everything in sight like a host of locusts. We want them to have balance in their nutrition sources and to be mindful and conscious of the food they take in so they have a solid foundation for a good relationship with food. We also want them to remember that other people exist!
It’s a work in progress of course, and we have to slowly take off the brakes to give them chances to exercise their judgement and get it right or wrong. So when faced with a platter of 8 deviled eggs, I turned the question around. How many do YOU think is reasonable?
JB: Four. I can eat four.
Me: Yeah? How does that work?
JB: I can eat four and then there’s four left!
Me: There are four left. How many does that leave for each other person who might want some eggs?
JB: Four! Everyone can have one!
Me: So you get four and then everyone else gets one?
JB: Yep! That seems reasonable.
Me: Ok, so you think that’s reasonable for you. I see. How would you feel about it if someone else got four and you got one?
JB: Oh..no. I wouldn’t like that.
Me: Ok so maybe that’s not fair to everyone? How should you divide them then?
JB: Ok I will stop eating now because I’ve already had two, and that leaves two for everyone!
Me: That’s probably more fair, though you can have one half of one of Smol’s since they might not want two.
Struggling
Gotta be honest, I’m really struggling to connect as a parent. It may partially be a function of depression and the pandemic, but I am struggling so much to connect to JB as a young kid. They’re not that “easy” (super active/angry/ cheerful/demanding/hilarious) baby anymore. Babies are physically chaotic and emotionally super easy for me. Young kids have opinions and desires and are trying to figure out everything through their little kid lens that I just don’t understand. And as their personality develops, little things that remind me of terrible family set off all my alarms and it’s harder to shut those alarms down. When they refuse to engage with their schoolwork as we work on homework together, and instead just throw out random guesses, my back goes up and I get angry. When they try to make me laugh, I stiffen up. That was my brother’s MO; I hated how manipulative he was. It’s not that JB is him, it’s just these little targets they keep hitting that viscerally remind me of people I can’t stand. Habits that I had grown to loathe decades ago. I keep looking for my little kid but they’re not that little kid anymore. Emotionally, I missed a whole year of bonding because I was so exhausted and prickly during pregnancy, I mentally checked out and PiC did almost all the fun hands on parenting. I was just trying to survive. It’s hard right now.
Life with Smol Acrobat
Hilariously, but inconveniently for us, Smol has realized they can use the nice door stoppers we have on our doors as a door handle. If any door isn’t latched shut and they want to leave the room, they just grab hold of the handy baby level “handle” and open ‘er up. 🤣
In the same category, they’ve learned how to climb and every box is now a stepstool. Talk about motivation to get my decluttering act together again!
*****
My favorite developments this month: While Smol isn’t that fun to feed with their finickiness sometimes, they are mimicking us when eating. They like to pretend to offer ME food after they take a first bite, much like how I often take a first bite to demonstrate that this is a thing we’re going to eat, or to check the temperature, before I offer them their food.
New game: they just started this flopping thing. They’ll sit on a bed and just flop on their face spread eagle. Get up, crawl a step and flop again. Rinse and repeat for ten minutes, sometimes giggling, sometimes being really really quiet and then POP surprise! Still awake! Annnnnnnd PLOP down again. It’s cute as heck.
*****
Overnight diapers have really saved our sleep this month. Smol has been back loading their bottles in the latter half of the day and so they were overfilling their normal diapers overnight. I kept waking up to a 3 or 4 am baby with a soaking wet diaper that had leaked. Thank goodness for the super absorbency of the overnights!
*****
My least favorite developments: the whining and the refusal to eat what I put in their mouth. They’ll open, accept the bite, then PLOP push it back out. Rinse and repeat. Arghhhhh. Just eat it.
They also have a need to chew on my sleeve or hoodie every meal and get so so angry when I deny this demand. Look, sometimes mama needs her hoodie to stay clean for a whole 12 hours!
*****
It’s startling to me that Smol asks for me.
They’re in a stranger danger sort of moment right now when looking at people makes them worried or vulnerable and, even when PiC is holding them, they might reach for me in that moment of scrunched up face cry. JB never did that. I mean, they never had that vulnerability fear thing which is probably odd but more specifically they also never reached for me. It was always the other way around. If they were in my arms, they wanted dad. If they were perched in dad’s arms, they were staying put. Being wanted is still unusual.
Pupdate
Sera had a bad ear infection this month, pup was hiding it well until she couldn’t any longer, so I’m grateful that a course of meds cleared her right up after 10 days. She did NOT enjoy the applications but … had to be done!
I continue to be impressed at how patient she is with Smol. She is always allowed to walk away from any interaction but even though she doesn’t love their heavy-handedness, she clearly genuinely wants to engage with him. We always caution them to use gentle hands and show them but babies will pound away with their drumming hands.
She lets them hang out next to her and she just wants to lick them in exchange for the giant pats that look like hitting. She isn’t startled or stressed, maybe in part because we don’t allow that to happen unsupervised and so she’s always getting positive reinforcement for her tolerance as well, but I would expect some stress if she didn’t like it. She most certainly doesn’t hesitate to get up and leave when they are heading for her and she doesn’t want to deal.
Precious Moments
JB’s attempts at jokes continue….
What does the banana say when the apple bumps it?
Hey, watch where you’re going, apple!
JB: The joke is that bananas don’t talk! And apples don’t have EYES.
JB: Knock-knock.
Me: Who’s there?
JB: Door handle.
Me: Door handle who?
JB: Door handle the knob is crooked!
…. I don’t get it.
JB: why did a bunny eat a turtle marshmallow?
Because it wanted a turtle but it couldn’t get one so it ate a Turtle Marshmallow!!
October 26, 2021
Jokes are hard
JB has been on a real joke telling kick but they have zero idea of what makes a joke funny or how to replicate joke patterns.
Why do quesadillas need so much water?
Because they hate water!
Why do sandwiches need to work so much?
So they can get killed!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple head!
That’s not really a joke, you’re just calling someone a name.
It is for a six year old.
Reading jokes from a book:
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team?
JB: because she cheated!?
JB revels in being Smol’s favorite person
They rub it in actually. Reasons they are the favorite: Where mom and dad bat Smol’s hands away from computers, JB helps Smol touch the touchscreen. JB makes the most ridiculous faces. JB will shadowbox Smol and they will laugh so hard at this they fall on their face. And keep laughing.
A hero’s heartbreak. Smol was going through a bout of sickness AND teething. Normally JB swoops in whenever Smol is sobbing their baby heart out and two seconds of Big Sibling cuddles, rocking and soothing, produces a gummy smile and chortles. They usually sing a variation on “everyone is here, everyone loves you, Big Sib is here and I love you, momma is here and she loves you, daddy is here and he loves you, you’re safe and loved…”
This time, Smol paused for breath… Looked at me…and their face absolutely collapsed. JB was both horrified and betrayed. “I’m the Magic Person!! I make everything better! WHAT HAPPENED?!?” said their appalled face.
They brushed their hands off and gave me the baby back, singing, “Mama can handle youuuuu”.
Later we talked about how that was a sign of just how uncomfortable Smol just have been and a good lesson / reminder that we can’t make anyone feel anything different from what they’re feeling. We can’t take away their pain or their experience and we shouldn’t try. We should be there for them. We should support them and show our love, to help them get through, but they’ll ultimately have to get through on their own. (more…)
September 28, 2021
Social Media
Oh goody. I thought I had a few more years before the social media conversation. They have been learning drawing from this YouTube channel and they ended a video with “post your pic to Instagram!” So of course JB came over and asked if we could take a picture of their art to “send to the art people”.
I said no, we do not use that service. But also since we have already talked about how advertising and marketing works, I explained that sort of thing is partly about sharing but partly it’s about advertising and we do not do free advertising for companies.
In truth, sure we do sometimes, but we’re not starting now at age 6.
I guess I have to start laying the groundwork for a healthy way to use social media now.
Related: Squidding Around
PiC picked out a new graphic novel from Scholastic for JB. We were reading it together and it happened to have the perfect theme for us to continue our talk about social media and how people are motivated to do things for attention. Without giving away too much, Squizzard, the main character is angry about not getting published and goes on to pull a misguided and hurtful prank. We talked about how adults will even do foolish things for attention on social media (without getting into specifics), how people lose sight of who is really important because of a thirst for 15 minutes of fame (people who actually know and love them vs people they’ll never know or meet) and how people can make foolish choices for attention.
We also discussed how social media itself is just a tool and tools are neither good or bad overall (though biased algorithms absolutely are a thing, that isn’t something I’m going to dive into just yet with a six year old), it’s about how you use them about remembering that you don’t know all the other people who use them too. We won’t let them start using anything until we’ve had a lot of discussions about behavior, how social media works, all of that. There’s this Jack Prelutsky poem we’ve read in the past that I reminded JB of that’s very relevant:
I had a little secret
That I could not wait to tell,
I whispered it to Willa,
who repeated it to Nell.
Nell had to tell Belinda,
Who told Laura and Lenore,
I think my little secret
is no secret anymore. (more…)