August 24, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1,732.74; Rural libraries, $321.62.
Weeks 21 and 22 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 21, Day 143: Is there a Monday in which I don’t complain about the Mondayness? This was not one of those.
It actually has Friday to blame. This week was like we started with a technology hangover from the previous week: my phone didn’t work, which meant that my primary form of communication with the outside world was disrupted, as was the ability to manage JB’s lessons. I had to spend yet another two hours trying to fix tech that wouldn’t work, and that’s before getting to my actual FT work. Since I had to factory reset the phone, everything I have set up to make the days work more smoothly and makes the most of every minute was gone and it was like grit in my eyes irritating.
Also my downloading during my work day refused to save to the right folder, it kept going to some random folder with 12,000 other files. Awesome. That required another 20 minutes to solve.
So. Much. Grit. In. My. Day.
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August 10, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1,713.62; Rural libraries, $321.62.
Weeks 19 and 20 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 19, Day 129: The thought of keeping an actual physical non-for-public consumption / blogging Covid-19 journal came to me this weekend. I don’t know whether I find the time but maybe …??
Week 19, Day 130: JB pushed all the boundaries during an unsupervised lesson today and we had A Very Firm Talk. I was incredibly disappointed in their choice to do that when they knew I wasn’t going to be able to oversee.
After a couple conversations with their teacher, I realized that that was in fact the most logical time for it to happen. Still not happy about it.
We also found out that our favorite Thai restaurant will be temporarily closing and they don’t have a firm reopening date, and I had a minor flip-out because A) I am a Virgo and I HATE CHANGE and B) WHAT IF THEY NEVER REOPEN.
My day was jam-packed with work-related things that were not getting my own work done and that was tough, mentally. I also hate interrupting my regular work routine so much! It had to get done though, it was a long-term thing that needed my attention.
We did get our good news about Seamus though, and that was a real shot in the arm mood-booster. The alternative of his not getting better was a fairly dire one.
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July 27, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1608.94; Rural libraries, $321.62.
Weeks 17 and 18 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 17, Day 115: I stepped out of the house for exactly 45 seconds today. My butt was alternately numb and aching from the number of hours logged at my desk. Mondays are the worst of the worst. Compounded by post-holiday weekends :/
I had a rough evening feeling like a bad friend. I was practicing, though it was uncomfortable, naming my guilt, understanding that it was foundless and knowing I still felt it, and trying not to shame myself for feeling the guilt OR into believing that I deserved the guilt. It was a complicated and conflicted feeling. But it ultimately felt better afterward.
I then reconnected with another dear friend who was feeling bad about her own rough life situation so we talked late into the night and I think we both felt better afterwards.
Week 17, Day 116: JB finally had a good lesson without any balking, whining, delaying, or wasting time. Freaking finally! It’s been a bumpy couple of weeks and their teacher and I were discussing minors adjustments along the way to get here. I’m not sure if they worked or if it was just a phase but I’m crossing my fingers that changing locations and physical set up helped them get back on track. (I suspect it was also because they felt well rested, got to read with Dad when they woke up, AND got to play with their cards for a while in the morning.) Hamilton has been a great incentive for us to get through dinner and bath quickly at night, they get to watch a couple songs before bed. Probably not the best to induce actual sleep but it gets them through the nighttime routine so fast. (more…)
July 13, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1589.82; Rural libraries, $321.62.
Weeks 15 and 16 of COVID in the Bay Area.
Week 15, Day 101: I think things are starting to open up in our county but I trust no one and when so many people are gadding about maskless, I’m staying home. I frame it as a choice so that it doesn’t feel like a forced confinement. My hands are still terribly swollen and my bones were filled with molten lava yesterday, so physically I’m not in good shape but emotions are a little less fraught today. It might be because PiC and I had a few good talks about our mental health and just basically took a little time to reconnect as humans. Also it might be because we pulled off a pretty nice Father’s Day weekend. Since I’m not an early riser (except for those days when I wake up in the middle of the night and simply can’t go back to sleep but that’s not quite the same thing), I couldn’t get up and surprise him with a Father’s Day breakfast and the whole deal.
Instead I played to my strength: dinner! I found two new to us local restaurants to order takeout from and we tried some fantastic Korean dishes and BBQ.
Week 15, Day 102: While I wouldn’t call it a silver lining to the pandemic, I am finding a few things that are not terrible about this situation for us personally. It only took me 100 days: No commute means I can rest a lot more and our mornings are about 90% less stressful – no rushing to wake up JB, no rushing. Social distancing means I don’t have to socialize with anyone I don’t have to (even if it also means I can’t socialize with people I DO want to, this is still a plus).
Week 15, Day 103: I didn’t leave the house at all today because work was a crushing load and also because I was busy checking on a family member who nearly died. STRESS.
Week 15, Day 104: We finally got confirmation that JB’s elementary school has set an early August start date and that their registration was processed so they are officially enrolled. This would be exciting in normal times but the complete lack of information on how they’re going to handle COVID means my excitement is in the negative zone. Best case scenario, according to their email, we will get a letter telling us how to prepare 5 days in advance, worst case is 2 days. What IS that?? I’d much rather they take the time they needed to plan and figure out how things will work and start late, with some real time to prepare, than this nonsense.
Also I finally got my act together and ordered some organizational storage bins. I’m not positive I made all the right choices but it was a start. I spent the next 36 hours eagerly anticipating my curbside pickup and hoping I didn’t run out of steam too quickly. (more…)
June 22, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1,570.70; Rural libraries, $321.62.
Weeks 13 and 14 of shutdown in the Bay Area.
Week 13, Day 87: Mondays. Are. Terrible. PiC’s got half a day of meetings and I’ve got a full day of work every day, and so I have to oversee JB most of the day since my work doesn’t interact with other people. It’s fair in that when he didn’t have so many meetings, he’d take them all day but it’s also so frustrating to barely have the patience to deal with work nonsense and at the same time be patient in any way with JB’s shenanigans. They’re just being a typical 5 year old but my patience bucket has nothing left.
My sanity fraying is most obvious on Mondays.
Maybe it’s because I completely let it all go on the weekends now instead of trying to keep on top of some work and household stuff. Especially this past weekend. I did next to nothing because I felt terrible. Ten word searches, managed JB for some hours on Sunday, a fair bit of Sesame Street when I couldn’t get out of the recliner, started working on PiC’s Father’s Day gift.
PiC did all the grocery shopping and food prep both days.
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June 8, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1,570.70; Rural libraries, $321.62.
Weeks 11 and 12 of shutdown in the Bay Area.
I had to change the day numbering so I would remember what day we’re on, total. It’s been that long.
Week 11, Day 69: A half day at work for me today! WOOOO. We had a very hot (for us, nearly 80 degrees F) day and I was basking in walking around in a tee shirt even in the house. It’s normally so frigid I’m in three layers all day long.
Week 11, Day 70: I woke unexpectedly early but crawled right back into my nest and then woke up late after 8. Oops. On the other hand, JB got enough rest and got themselves all dressed and ready, AND even remembered their assigned chore for the morning. Extra bonus, they went and filled in the chore on their activities board without prompting too. I thought the first week of the board was a dismal failure but maybe our little adjustments are starting to take hold. We’ll see.
Week 11, Day 71: JB has wholeheartedly and suddenly thrown themselves into the Activities board, racking up an all time high of 9 activities in a day: helping with the laundry, clearing the dishwasher, spending a lot of time outdoors. Most of this was made possible by PiC’s flexible schedule on this day. Most days are not going to be like this.
Week 11, Day 72: The world has exploded and my sorrow is endless. Why does our country think it’s better to viciously put down protests than to hold murdering cops accountable? None of this had to be that way. (more…)
May 25, 2020
If you’d like to join me in helping Lakota families and/or rural libraries this year, please read this post. Over 6 weeks in 2019, we raised $2669.94 for the Lakota families, touching 27 lives. What can we do in 2020?
Current total: Lakota, $1,570.70; Rural libraries, $321.62.
Weeks 9 and 10 of shutdown in the Bay Area.
Week 9, Day 1: Having geared myself up for a total shutdown to last several months, or even the rest of this year, I can’t quite wrap my brain around the idea of CA moving to Stage 2 of reopening. It feels like it’s must too soon when we still don’t have that much testing or any known effective treatments. My friends outside of CA who have been ill for weeks still can’t get tested. As a complete pessimist, I think this is my gut trying to protect me from getting my hopes up too soon that things will start to get better.
Related: I can’t think about the things I miss or how I want things to be later.
Also related: I’m worried about getting sick when things open up more because my immune system is trash. When I get sick with even mild viruses, I get hit really hard. It takes me 3-4x as long as normal people to recover. A 3-5 day illness for a normal person is a 3-5 week illness for me.
Week 9, Day 2: All the little things that bother me popped up today: I hate the way the wires under my desk are dangling, I hate our old round wooden chopsticks that hurt my hands when they’re swollen. I determined to fix those things NOW. I taped up the wires … but the tape that I had wasn’t strong enough. I searched and found replacement chopsticks but the shop wanted $20 for shipping – that was too rich for my blood. I guess it’s not my day for resolving issues.
I did order a gift of delicious small business cheese to a loved one sheltering in place alone who was recently hit with some additional bad news, though. One right thing was done today.
My workload was a bit lighter than usual so it was rather annoying that I couldn’t focus well enough to blow through the workload early and take the rest of the day at my leisure. But I suppose the upside is that I didn’t have to stress over the work piling up at lightning speed while I worked more slowly than I preferred?
Week 9, Day 3: Dammit-Sera is her official name now. I’ve cleaned up 11 piles of vomit and 1 massive lake of pee on my rug this past week. What’s going on, dog?? (more…)