About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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December 20, 2019
1. The NOT good thing is I have a huge pain flare up today. It woke me from a rare deep sleep, it was so bad. No idea if it was diet / weather / sleeping wrong related.
So this morning I am deeply grateful for heating options like my fabulous rice bag gift from my dear friend, my hot tea and the means to heat it (which I do not take for granted with the power outages of late), and my heat patches that got me through the first hour from 2 to 3 am when it was all I could do it just keep breathing.
2. I was lucky enough to have booked a massage several weeks ago for this week and though it was nearly impossible to get away on time, I made it to the appointment. My therapist got the pain down from severe to just below moderate. I can just about deal with that while also stressed to the GILLS preparing for the holidays. Now, I just have to kick the dregs of this cold. I can never be so foolish as to say “I’m about to kick this cold” because then it gets stronger and turns on me with a vengeance. The second round of the same cold is twice as evil.
How’s your immune system this week?
3. I always try to be done with the financial books before mid December so if there are any last minute transactions to be made, I can make them in the year. Reminder of that time I tried to do some tax loss harvesting and totally fumbled the ball – selling off the stock so late that the transaction processed in the next year. Whoops!
I’ve updated most of our spreadsheets for our rental property (thank you thank you thank you Past Me who took the time to update that sheet up through October), for our tax preparation including all our itemized deductions and miscellaneous income, and leading into 2020 for our day to day expenses.
Have you tackled your tax documents yet or do you have a good system for this whole mess?
4. JB’s friend lost a parent suddenly and unexpectedly this week. We were so sad to hear it and had to share the news with JB to see if ze wanted to attend the funeral. Ze did, and composed a really solid condolence letter as ze processed the idea that Mr H was dead and not even 100 years old yet: “Dear Xav, I’m sorry your parent died. I love you.”
Our writing lessons are bearing fruit.
5. I’ve always been a milk chocolate eater but I decided that Nicole and Maggie’s recommendation of very omigah dark chocolate (sugar free) is better than no chocolate and I’m adjusting to the bitterness. Each passing day the bitterness seems less so in a couple weeks I should be set with one little non painful treat?
December 19, 2019
This is my last link love for 2019, I’m giving myself a wee break and starting again January 9th next year!
I really enjoyed this: how Ruth learned to think about problem solving. This kind of memory makes me happy. It also made me ponder: what little things am I modeling for JB that will go on to have real and positive impacts? I strive in a very different way now than I did ten years ago, I’m softer now and less gritty than I was and I worry that ze isn’t going to have the chance to observe that we can overcome tough circumstances. Of course I don’t want zir scarred by early traumas of knowing too much too soon, but how do I demonstrate that quality and encourage zir to keep at things persistently?
I love Eve Ewing’s Ironheart series and her thread on breads. It’s a special kind of torture but also I love it.
Financial Independence Let Me Walk Away From Harassment at Work. This brings back some harsh memories of when my boss was the person making my work life impossible and how much I still hope he reaps what he sowed.
Honoring lost loved ones around the holidays. I lost Mom too close to Thanksgiving to ever want to celebrate it again and out of respecting that feeling sprang a new tradition that I hold dear.
Unfortunately we had reason to draw on this wisdom on writing condolence cards recently.
May I be able to listen to what my child is telling me like this
December 16, 2019
I’m still working at preparing for a disaster and creating coherent and complete kits. We’ve been working at this for years and we’re still not done because it takes time to fit these expenses in the budget. I’m not willing to just buy one of those big kits because I’m looking for long-lasting value which means spending a bit more for quality.
Background
I shared my friend’s expertise on hurricane insurance in 2013. I summarized what we had on hand and what I was thinking for 2017. Things we already have:
Hydration:
- Two water filtration systems purchased almost a decade ago for cooking and drinking if we have no potable water
- 3 days of water packets
- I wonder if a lifestraw would be good to have as well.
Food:
Light:
Energy:
- An outdoor only generator that could keep our refrigerator (and maybe internet assuming those towers are still up) running plus two extension cords to keep it far away from the house. We need some extra gas for the generator and a safe place to store it not in the house.
- I picked up a massive power bank for the household to share and to have a back up to our smaller more portable power bank that I use regularly. This can be used to (very slowly) charge my computer when we just have a power outage, too.
Heat/warmth:
- Sleeping bivvies in case we have to sleep outdoors.
Health:
- A tourniquet for major bleeding,
- Swiss army knife,
- Bandaids,
- Gauze and medical tape.
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December 12, 2019
1. JB had a play date without us monitoring for the first time! O_O
It was a huge step for me for a lot of reasons but it was with a group of kids we’ve known for a couple of years and parents that we get along with well, so … we gave it a try. It was a much longer visit than we planned. Ze was totally worn out but we had good reports: zir manners were excellent, when ze was upset by a scary bit of a show ze just went and asked an adult to sit with zir instead of emulating the behavior of a cousin that I can’t bear (screaming at the top of their lungs until the scene is over). We spent some time chatting with and laughing over parenting stories with the parents before taking zir home and I think that really made a difference. We like this group of kids enough to offer to set up a date night rotation so we can exchange free babysitting with them.
2. PiC was razzing me about always wanting to try the local Peruvian cuisine. There are two ingredients that feature heavily in Peruvian cuisine that he doesn’t care for, so he always focuses on them. But I have vision! At least when it comes to food. Peruvian is so much more than cooked tomatoes and plantains! There’s not much in the way of affordable Peruvian, it’s mainly the fancy places here, but I found a small hole in the wall sort of place to try and I sold him on their fresh chips and salsa. Once there, we were floored by the new to use dishes that were amazing: Sopa Siete (no carbs, no sugar, perfect for me!) and Tallerines Saltado Carne. This was a huge treat. As was PiC’s mea culpa for doubting me. 😀
3. It feels like it’s been a full year of intentional effort in building on our local relationships, particularly with each socializing encounter eating up a lot of my limited energy, but I am being hopeful that it will be worth the investment. PiC and I want to keep investing time and effort in our people and relationships, and I’m glad we’re on the same page.
In the past two weeks, we have had more spontaneous socializing than I’ve had in the entire several years before this: we ran into a friend at daycare and asked them over for dinner. We had a friend ask to drop by with a gift for JB and they stayed to lunch, no big deal. I’m not at the point where I can host like Angela does but I do like that within reason (I’m still a massive introvert after all). Say, one or two weekends a month sounds good.
4. I commented that I didn’t have time to do the laundry over the weekend as an offhand reminder to myself to do it during the week after I cleaned out the washer drum of fur. Because he was up early and rested, PiC remembered what I said and did all the laundry on Monday morning before I got up. BONUS: I was able to change into fresh from the dryer warm clothes! Best. Partner. Ever.
5. I love this from Terry Pratchett’s Dodger (bold mine): “Money makes people rich; it is a fallacy to think it makes them better, or even that it makes them worse. People are what they do, and what they leave behind.”
6. I feel CRUNCHED for time this week and next. We have a lot to prepare for various holiday cards and gifts for a lot of loved ones. Even keeping it relatively minimal (cards for most, photos as keepsakes to remember our time spent together), there’s still a whole lot left to do: putting notes in for some people, sorting out the 115 photo prints I ordered to gift to some folks, stamping them and addressing them. I know PiC would help but he and I have VERY different ideas of when these things should be done and it’s less annoying to me to do it than to rush him. I’d rather have him do other things that I don’t like and where the timeline doesn’t bother me. He’ll do all the food and car packing up when we travel, for example, or scrub the sink (hate), the toilets (hate), and maintain the cars.
:: How was your week? Are you ready for the holidays?
December 11, 2019
I once thought that saying “I’m proud of you” to adults was being focused on me and what I felt when I should focus on how my friends felt. Then I learned I was wrong.
Huge congratulations to Erin for hitting a huge milestone!
Luxe is living a bit of my dream: 12 days in Tuscany.
Deed theft is on the rise. Why on earth are BASIC identity checks not being conducted when someone is trying to transfer a deed? We had to get our stuff notarized, how is that not a basic thing to do?
I love not having to wear formal business attire anymore but if I did have to, I’d love to look as sleek and chic as Anh does. And I admire Jean’s outfit combinations – I don’t have an eye for these things myself and appreciate the artful arrangements of practical things.
75-foot wave!
As income gap widens, what happens to charitable giving might surprise you
I’m trying to wrap my head around the cost of college and while I certainly wasn’t private school material, and PiC chose a public school, I wonder if we need to prepare for the possibility that JB might opt for a private school. I needed to lean on Nicole and Maggie for a bit more information on that world of costs.
Cozy trio
December 9, 2019
On Money
Income
Our primary income comes from our full time jobs. We have minimal income from an investment property (saved for future repairs ) and investing in dividend stocks (reinvested). We earn money on the side to supplement our main incomes. We get a bit of income from Swagbucks and cash back sites (Ebates, Mr.Rebates). Some posts have affiliate links that pay a micro-commission to keep the blog running and I’ve added a way to support the blog in the sidebar to the right!
Our long term goal is to replace our day job income with passive income before my health prevents me from working because I know from my Mom’s experience that relying on disability is incredibly tough or near impossible here in CA.
***
Dividend income. We received $545.98 in dividends this month. Our year to date net dividends are $3,609.38.
Drips of money. I made $9 from a User Interview, woo! I’m 74% of the way to my next $25 Target gift card from Bing, almost woo! We also sold an old shirt on Poshmark, netting $2. Wheee!
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December 6, 2019
1. JB was treated to a movie at the theater, and we ran into quite a few of zir classmates (boys and girls alike, boy is that movie popular) which was bonus excitement for zir. I hardly remember the first movie but Frozen 2 was really quite entertaining.
2. With some help, I made a few jars of my “liquid gold” to give away to friends who I never know what to give in return for their food gifts. This is the only thing they’ve ever requested and I make this soup stock once a year, if that.
3. We hosted a mini Friendsgiving the day after Thanksgiving. A couple of friends who didn’t make a turkey came over and dined on our set aside turkey. It was perfect and then we wound up the night talking about emergency preparedness and what we still need. I broke out our water filter for the first time in 8 years, and we figured out how to put it together. We also may do disaster preparedness practice runs together – Emergency Food Fridays, anyone? I have been pushing PiC to do this because I want us to be totally prepared for emergencies and disasters. *Totally prepared = where it’s muscle memory and not us fumbling around trying to figure out how to arrange the basics: lights, clean water, heating up food safely indoors, staying warm, etc.
4. I deeply appreciate my warm sweatpants that fit. I could live in these. I have to fight the urge to go buy five more as an overreaction to many years of ill fitting clothes. Is this just me? Anytime I find something I like, I want one more in case I can’t find it again but I also wear things until their doom (usually at least 5 years, more like 8-10) by which point it’s possible my taste or standards may have changed so why not let it go and find a new thing?
This may be a deeply ingrained reflex from my pre-tailoring things to fit and pre-Petite sizes era. Back then, nothing ever really fit and if it did I wasn’t likely to get lucky again in that clothing group. I was always going about in oversized and poor fitting clothes.
5. While I tackled a page long To Do list on Sunday, with JB’s help at times, PiC cleaned the sink, vacuumed, did all the laundry, changed the sheets for our guest room to prepare for our next house guest and cooked dinner. I was so focused on all the things I needed to get done that I didn’t quite realize what he was doing the whole time. Naturally, I appreciate him like you wouldn’t believe.
6. I was in charge of ordering a ton of alcohol gifts for the family. I started my order over the weekend and happened across two stackable promotions to get 2 bottles of whisky plus a mini, 12 bottles of wine, and a whole case of beer for $187. Note to self, plan ahead. Next year’s supply of alcohol to serve guests and for gifts – buy on Cyber Monday!
7. I tried adding a half cup of baking soda to the wash drum + vinegar in the fabric softener dish for JB’s funny smelling sheets, and PiC’s workout clothes, and they don’t smell terrible anymore! Huzzah!
8. How is it Thursday already?? (Right now as I type this.) JB and I both went to the dentist and got our teeth cleaned and is there anything more dentally satisfying than a professional cleaning?? I love how clean our teeth are and I’m loaded up on advice for how to take better care of our teeth and gums. I have some gum recession 😭😭 and I’m more afraid of dental recession than a financial one these days. So, brushing and flossing diligently, as we’ve been doing, but I have to wear my night guard every night now.
:: How was your week?
