About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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September 2, 2014
I’m still hardly about to talk about it, still leaning on PiC and some close friends very heavily to explain why I’ve been so quiet except for some heartbroken sobs on Twitter, but it feels wrong to continue on not saying anything at all.
I can’t memorialize him yet, I can barely accept that this is true, much less find the words to properly eulogize him that won’t further destroy me in the doing.
When I lost Mom, I almost viciously forced myself to say she was gone. It was both scourge and self flagellation to force myself to say those words I knew to be true and desperately needed not to be; a soul-scouring attempt to face the truth and absolve myself of my failings in taking care of her. It didn’t work but it kept the guilt and the grief somewhat at bay for months.
This is … in some ways, this is almost worse. In the suddenness, in the senselessness, in the overwhelming rawness of prostrating grief, I can’t bring myself to cope as I once did. Because he was our responsibility and I cannot absolve myself of the failure to protect him.
“People have forgotten this truth,” the fox said. “But you mustn’t forget it. You become responsible forever for what you’ve tamed. You’re responsible for your rose.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
We didn’t tame him, we just gave him a new life with us, somewhat pampered though he hardly seemed to notice, and he was coming into his own in these few short years as my wonderfully loving, opinionated and constant “coworker”, my therapy dog, we called him.
PiC was his favorite person in the entire world, you couldn’t match his dance of joy upon being reunited with his papa even after just a few minutes’ absence, and together we were a family. There wasn’t a person, dog lover or not, who didn’t fall for his charmingly quiet, happy personality; many became convinced they wanted a dog “just like him”, after a single visit.
He was our cat-dog, we joked, he being thoroughly exasperated by the hugs I always wanted to give him, and mostly keeping his distance lest I pet him too much. But he clearly loved us. He had a funny way of insisting on family time, staying by our side no matter how late it was, no matter how annoyed he was that it was another late work night; he kept us both in view at all times as if simply by being in the middle, he ensured we stayed “together”.
He’s licked me on purpose exactly once, as an apology for terribly scraping up my foot; he’s inspected PiC’s awful injuries and given them a healing lick but no more than necessary.
As clumsy as the classic bull in the china shop, and yet the most gentle, non reactive companion to any infant or toddler whether he knew them or not, we always knew he’d make the best big brother.
And now our beloved Doggle is gone. We have no reasons and we have no explanations. The heart of our little family is gone and we don’t know how to bear it.
August 25, 2014
Part Three of the Real Estate Chronicle
The property manager has already well earned the first fee.
The property came with legacy renters. At first it was a bonus to buy into a property with existing rent coming in and they seemed like decent people at the first meeting. It also meant that I didn’t have to go out of pocket to make sure the place was move in ready: no cleaning crew, no equipment purchases or replacements.
Later, we discovered they were … well, kind of jerks.
Apparently the sale came as a surprise to them, but rather than discussing any concerns with me or my representatives during the sale and closing process, they shut them out and then became unreasonable when it was time to sign a new contract and pay the rent.
It seems that they felt entitled to having their alleged agreement with the previous owner honored (nothing existed in writing, mind you) without having discussed it with us at any point. They insisted that the previous owner was about to let them out of the lease and go month to month instead. Aside from how unlikely that is, their belligerence and rudeness destroyed any initial goodwill they might have traded on. Since they decided to insult the staff, I decided that if I had to abide by their existing lease as a term of the purchase, so do they.
The property manager gets to deal with their jerkitude each month until the lease runs out and I suspect we’ll be plenty happy to look for new renters at that point. We’ll do full background checks, and of course the lease policy will be quite clear.
At this point, I’m thrilled that I spent the money to have management services; it means I won’t be dealing with sullen faces, nasty attitudes, and having to personally chase them for rent each month.
Aside from that, the last thing I need to be adding to my plate is any version of the 3 am “there’s a leak and the pipes burst” sort of calls, so I made sure to hire management that takes care of everything, 24 hours.
So far…
I’ll have my hands full handling the financial aspects of this new venture, and I’m feeling a lot better about the whole thing now that we’ve weathered the first few bumps in the road.
I should probably wait at least six to twelve months before diving into more investments, but if this continues to work out pretty well, there may be another one on the horizon. This whole thing DID go much more smoothly than expected though, so I am tempering my enthusiasm. Just in case.
August 21, 2014
Funny about Money, that is. I swear VH does more in a day than I do in some weeks but every so often, I find myself channeling her.
This was my version, recently….
1. Wake late for the second time. Having gone to sleep around 2-3 am after working too late, fail to appreciate Seamus’s charming morning check-in around 6:30 or 7 wherein he confirms I’m here and alive. I notice this is a thing that’s never concerned Doggle. PiC thankfully does their morning routine and I get a lick more sleep.
2. Rouse to give dogs their morning meds.
3. Swipe myself into some semblence of order and hygiene. Set down to work.
4. Check all the emails, clear out the FYI stuff that I cannot unsubscribe from but rarely read. Can’t filter because some subject lines are too similar.
5. Start a load of laundry.
6. Answer newbie questions.
7. Load the dishwasher. Ponder as my technique, not having grown up running a dishwasher, is still evolving. Recently had a long conversation with Anne of Unique Gifter about her technique and fabulous dishwasher. We haven’t had a successful, totally clean load for a few rounds now and I’m questioning everything: is the detergent crapped out? Is it my loading? Is it the washer? (I still think it’s me..)
8. Review the pile of stuff I have to check and approve.
9. Remember I haven’t eaten breakfast. It’s noon. Throw together something like a quesadilla; wave at Doggle who, whenever he’s saved part of his breakfast, will eat with me.
10. Cram food in my mouth as I clear more emails.
11. Start second load of wash.
12. Frantically run to a doctor’s appointment, find out it’ll take no less than an hour. Goody.
13. Get home and dive back into work, juggling Swagbucks on the side.
14. Remember that I haven’t finished booking parts of our upcoming trip and take a break to get that done.
15. Synapses connect and realize that the first load of wash was super heavy because it was still too wet, not because I was weak with hunger. Drag it back out and toss it in for an extra spin. Thankful we have an extra spin option and that I didn’t start the dryer while I let that puzzle simmer.
16. Seamus still needs a sitter for a while and we’ve struck out with half a dozen possibilities and another half a dozen options never answered. Not impressed with DogVacay at this point but neither am I thrilled about (or even mildly happy with) kennel options.
17. Start to stress out big time. Have a vent on Twitter to a couple friends for ten minutes to blow off steam, then buckle back down.
18. Read all the fine print of booking train tickets. Way too much silliness to do with times and delivery options. Everyone should let us print at home or view the email on phone screen as standard options that don’t cost extra!!
19. Post-booking, comb through TripIt itinerary to delete the last bits of my last mistake: booked a hotel near a train station but wrong train station. And then wrong date. Luckily hotel reservations are the easiest thing to cancel or rebook as long as you remember to actually do it.
20. Start to breathe, stop again as I dive back answering newbie emails and my own projects.
21. Resurface briefly to throw dinner ingredients in the oven. Thank whatever that while I joke that PiC has to eat what I make, he’s actually quite happy to. He supplements my baked chicken breasts topped with sliced onions, tomatoes and lemon with a garlic onion green bean concoction. Was that with butter? I can’t tell. It was great but a touch salty, mine was good but a touch dry. I could really go for a steak right now. Baked potato on the side. Cooked by someone not me.
22. Back to work.
23. Oh but stop and translate a menu. As a favor to PiC whose hands were already full with related organizing, I took over arranging a dinner for a horde of people. But the menu required translation first and in doing so, I culled most of it, making an executive decision we’d have a set menu with few choices and those would be whatever I could translate. Kick the whole multi-course list to PiC for approval and mentally plan to make up a survey to collect orders tomorrow.
24. Back to work and Swagbucks. This is all meant to fund some ongoing expenses we have and alleviate the pinch on our cash flow. Since I’m in front of the computer anyway, most days I can eke out some points without too much distraction. Other days I let it distract me from buckling down which isn’t good.
25. Drag all the dry laundry out and shake it out on the guest bed. PiC will be a good soul and actually make up the bed later.
26. Fold and store the dog towels, hang the guest towels. Things are coming together.
27. More work. Fight with Amazon for an hour for being stupid and stealing my gift card money weeks before shipping my subscribe and save items. What’s up with that?? Hugely annoyed.
28. Write up some more guidelines for people who’ll need them. Realize I could work straight through the next morning but then I’d be all discombobulated for Seamus’s vet appointment.
I keep thinking that if I power through just one or two more days, it’ll all come together but that’s starting to sound like a load of hooey. Serves me right bringing home Seamus! Among other things…
August 18, 2014
We had a bad experience at Nopalito some time ago, not being seated at all or called for our table after THREE hours of waiting (2 of which were on the phone in wait list), and were pretty grumpy about it. A complaint yielded some results so we decided to give them another shot.
The wait staff this time around were great: attentive, helpful, and genuinely nice. I don’t know if we’ll ever risk dinner with them again but a weekday lunch worked really well. Everything was amazing, and I think we could make a meal of any variety of appetizers.
I thought I was just ordering fancy chips and dip with the Totopos con Chile but nope. SUPER fancy, very filling, very generous serving.
Had my doubts about the brown paper wrapped Carnitas for about a split second, then I smelled it. Then I tasted it. *swoon*
The taquitos de papas were fun and easy (I have a soft spot for taquitos); and I’m going to be dreaming about those empanadas.
Nopalito may not be authentic Mexican food but all that flies out the window when you’re served.
August 15, 2014
Change from July: 0% increase
Change from January: 265% increase
Our investments took a hit this month so interestingly, between that and our savings, we had exactly no change (except for, literally, some change) since last month.
On Money
I’m working away at Swagbucks to earn Amazon money for household and dog things we need. Feel free to join using my referral link if you like!
***
Since the addition of another unbudgeted mouth to feed and body to, well, not clothe, but to get up to medical snuff, all (meager) proceeds of the blog now go to fund Dog#2’s ongoing medical care. I’ve got some saved, but he may bid well to run right through all of it since this isn’t really your standard money-makin’ money blog 😉 We’re calling him Seamus now, Shamey for short when he transgresses, as he has done on occasion.
So if you have to purchase from Amazon and wouldn’t mind using one of my links in the sidebar there, Seamus and we would be most grateful. Every penny really does count!
***
I finally secured a CPA to get started on our much-delayed 2013 taxes – wazoo! Once that’s filed, we can get started on the 2014 tax planning; we’ll have a few things to do there.
I have gotten a few recommendations on an estate planning lawyer, so I think that’s my September goal: Get our paperwork nailed down.
***
Having had no retirement plan through my employer for a while, I really ought to have done this before but I’m just now getting myself in order on that front. I did manage to fully contribute to a 2013 IRA and will do so again for 2014, while quietly kicking myself for not dealing with this much earlier. I think between income, married filing jointly, and having one spouse have access to an employer-sponsored retirement plan, we won’t actually be able to take a deduction on it but whatever. Saving is the key here.
***
Reflecting: You’d think I wouldn’t have to squeeze every penny and point program to fund everyday life. ‘Where the hell did all our money go??‘ pops up an awful lot in my head since we do make a decent income between the two of us, after all! I keep finding myself thinking it’s time to create more income and/or get a second job. But seriously…
Reality Check. We’re still paying for two households, four adults, and two dogs. The Bay Area isn’t cheap by any means, even as frugally as I try to keep our home. And we would like to be in a house that we can reasonably afford to pay off and maintain, someday, so I’m still aggressively saving our cash. And there’s really only so much health/energy I have for THIS life, forget one that includes yet more work.
On Life
We will manage a vacation this year. A semi-actual vacation where I take a few days off instead of just going off to some place and just work while we’re there late into the night and play during the day and come home and collapse.
I’d be excited about this but I’m still in “prep and take care of everything” mode.
SOON.
August 11, 2014
Hattip to Kelly for suggesting the code name, it gave me a chuckle over a rough time.
We recently took Sibling’s dog (we’ll call him #2 for now) home with us.
The most stressful part, the extrication, was almost as stressful as I had anticipated, though I’m grateful it didn’t have to turn into a dognapping. My dad wasn’t terribly helpful, and in fact I’d asked PiC to hang back with him since Sibling is historically belligerent when it comes to anyone else asking him to do anything. That, as it turns out, was for the best. The conversation was difficult, meandering in and out of his delusions – as if I needed further confirmation that he wasn’t mentally stable – but I was able to state pretty clearly the terms of the extrication: this was all to help #2 as best we could and we didn’t know how long it’d take. He was compliant which suggests that he only sort of listened but I had reiterated the very few talking points multiple times, and stated them again in front of my dad so that he’d be aware of what we agreed to, once Sibling agreed to let him leave with us.
I’d secured appointments for #2 two weeks in advance, adding to an already jam packed week: a slew of appointments for me and PiC together, me solo, and guests in town to boot.
So of course, the best laid plans …
Originally, we were slated for:
Pre-surgical Bloodwork: $80
Rabies vaccine: $15
Distemper/parvo vaccine: $15
Neuter: $150
Microchip: $15
Nail Trim: $5
Then we were going to address the bigger things.
After an initial exam, we were advised to deal with the bigger problems first instead of looking at the routine stuff. We visited the vet and $400 later, we came home with a slew of medications to alleviate #2’s pain and discomfort and I’ve been on the dogs’ schedules ever since.
The biggest adjustments:
Learning #2’s signals. He had an accident in the house because he’d asked me to take him out but I was so sleepy I didn’t understand what that particular tail wag meant. This is further complicated by the side effects of the medications he’s on, they increase his thirst and need to urinate. He’s doing his best to signal properly and we’re doing our best to take him out a lot more frequently to help his transition from being an outdoor to indoor dog.
Sharing time and space with Doggle. We now have two large dogs, who both want to be petted at the same time if you’re petting one, or walked together (even though they walk at totally different paces and don’t match strides at ALL), or fed together. They don’t fight, thank goodness, and #2 is great at BEING at Number 2, always deferring to Doggle, but you’re still now tripping over two dogs who want to be Right There. Doggle’s also not terribly sure about this interloper so he shoulder bumps #2 out of the way a lot. Again, no fighting, though.
Energy. Five. Walks. A Day. Two. Baths. A Week. *falls over*
I think we’re heading toward $600 so far, and we haven’t even gotten truly started on the serious veterinary stuff yet as it looks like his allergies may be the least of it. :/
Still, given how badly this could have gone, we’re mildly optimistic so far.
August 7, 2014
I crack myself up.
Mostly I’m doing the jig of success: I adore PiC and his dedication to fitness but I can’t stand the reek of his abused gym clothes. Of course we wash them regularly but the smell just doesn’t come out with any amount of detergent OR my magic elixer (….vinegar…just vinegar) after he’s logged hundreds of miles in them.
It looked hopeless, and I was plotting to burn and bury all his clothes just so I wouldn’t have to smell the “freshly washed” gear air-drying and still smelling. GR.
I’d caught a note somewhere hereabouts on the internets about tea tree oil and in desperation I grabbed a $10 1-oz spray bottle with my $2 off coupon at Walgreens for an experiment.
Experiment 1, Round 1
- 15 sprays and 2 gallons of hot water. The scent just billowed out of the bucket as I was filling it, almost like eucalyptus.
The worst offenders went in for a soak first. Some sources said to soak for an hour, I left it in for three. I started to wring it out, but the second I caught a whiff of some stench under the tea tree scent, dumped everything right back in. Go back in and stay there until you stop stinking, shirts!
The next day (nearly 24 hours later), I wrung everything out and tossed it in the wash. It didn’t make a full load, so I moved on to the next batch.
Experiment 1, Round 2
- 10 sprays and 2 gallons of warm water.
This batch wasn’t nearly so bad, so the full bucket soaked for about 3 hours.
That joined Batch 1 in the washing machine. In a fit of desperation, I combined the detergent with the usual dose of vinegar and added a few more sprays just to be sure. Those clothes were going out the window if this didn’t work.
A single wash on delicate and 44 minutes later, we hung everything up to air dry, smelling very strongly of tea tree oil.
An experimental sniff was promising but the real test would be how they smelled once they dried. Odors always seem to reveal themselves more once the garments have dried, so I was reserving judgement.
24 hours later, I am singing hosannas. The clothes are clean, dry, and actually smell FRESH.
Experiment 2:
- 4 sprays and 1 gallon of warm water
This time, we were keeping a bucket of oil/water to drop the clothes into as soon as they’re shed. Tea tree oil isn’t cheap! I wanted to reduce the amount of oil needed at each wash and figured if I kept the sweat from permastenching the garb that should do the trick.
It worked! I just kept adding the gear to the oil/water bucket throughout the week, and then did a new load with only one or two sprays of the oil and everything came out smelling clean as clean can be.
Laundry is way more fun than it sounds and even more fun when you win.
