About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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December 19, 2011
I’m still working on this deceptively short but ridiculously time-consuming list of things to do to save money for the household. And I’ve added several items. Lists make life seem more manageable. Until you have lists of lists, at which point the system starts to break down.
1. Benefits seemed easy but it’s spawned more paperwork for life insurance purposes. I say thee, tomorrow. I shall complete the last bits tomorrow. Or at least make the next sets of phone calls to finish the last bits tomorrow.
2. Auto and property insurance research was utterly demoralizing. ie: took hours and was still nigh-on impossible to nail down a good comparison.
3. The mortgage stuff we’re getting a start on but we’re not at the point of dealing with the actual refi.
4. I’ve been madly dashing around at work trying to get everything to the right point for the upcoming new year and battling madly but quietly for my next step.
So ….
Check! I have finally wrapped five gifts purchased earlier in the year. But we’re still down at least five gifts. Yeeks!
Check! PiC blew our gift budget on ME. It wasn’t the classic (stupid) car commercial but it was a big gift I wasn’t expecting.
_____ And has been mum on the subject of his family’s gifts so they really may be getting socks. [see, blew our budget]
_____ We’re traveling a little for the holidays and then hosting a full house for a few days so we’re double whammy on the stress of preparations.
_____ I still haven’t planned anything for our anniversary. He wanted to do something special for our 1-year engagement anniversary.
_____ And I’m working on Holiday Gifts for the Office.
Check! Mission: Find Non-denominational Seasonal Cards was accomplished, though! I triumphed in the face of great mobs and traffic. *shudder* I had forgotten the state of any mall and parking lot in the end of December, since all the shopping’s been online lately.
That’s not terrible, eh? How’s everyone else doing out there?
December 15, 2011
It’s around the time of the year that people are caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays, or the end of the year and everything that entails: financial closings, year end sales, family gatherings. A flavor for every profession and preference.
A few weeks later, we’ll be talking about setting goals or sharing the goals we’ve picked. We might have decided on them as a way to create the new us, to define an aspirational year or just pragmatically, reach new milestones. And much of the time, people will say the best way to set goals is to use the system in which you’re stating Specific, Measurable, Achieveable, Realistic goals with a Timeline. It’s meant to keep one ticking along on the road to success without burning out or slumping over in despair.
That’s totally valid. My goals, once I pick them, are general and then absolutely strategized within an millimeter of any possible parameters.
But I’m having a step before that.
In these weeks before I set goals, I’m spending some time setting Impossible Goals. So named specifically so that it sounds completely unrealistic and totally removes the pressure from my tactical brain that cannot resist immediately analyzing how I have to make it happen.
This is the time to throw utterly preposterous and lofty goals into the air and count really fast as they come floating down, thinking all the while, what else can I do? What else should I do? What else would I do?
If anything were a possibility – before reality strikes, dreaming a dream – what would I want to have done in that year?
Of course I started with money. This morning I told Doggle, “Momma’s gonna increase our Net Worth by 100K.” He was blase.
I told him too, “Dad’s gonna get you a bigger bone if he gets a promotion.” That? He perked up for. SMH. Priorities, Doggle. Mom’s goal gets you health care.
This is the year I get a promotion.
This is the year to shoot for, heck, 100K? Make that 150K NW increase. Be creative. Be really really really creative. (Legally.)
This is the year I hit the supplemental alternative employment route. I want a safety net in case either of us doesn’t love our jobs and career paths anymore, it doesn’t pay enough or we just need a fall back.
This is the year we set ourselves up for buying a home.
This is the year we set ourselves up for getting a second dog, or maybe figure out the kid thing.
Or maybe not.
This is the year I make a difference in someone’s life.
This is the year Doggle learns how to play with another dog. (bwahhaha… he can barely process the toy thing. Ok ok, no mockery.)
This is the year I make progress toward a CFP. And figure out what I’m going to do, really.
December 9, 2011
Once upon a time, I dreamed big for the future. Out of those dreams, I formulated a life plan wherein I’d be taking a professional health degree of some kind and a PhD, entering a white collar profession, and buying a home for myself and my parents (separate homes, mind) before the age of 30. After 30 was a little hazy, but I figured plotting the next 23 years was good enough. Also, the juggle of two degrees and affording two homes was a tough enough nut to crack – I wasn’t ready to plot any more years.
This was before I knew the words “net worth” because, you know, seven years old, but you had better believe that the balance sheets did not include debt. I’d already been writing out the checks for the bills for my parents and knew how I wanted to set up my own budget when the time came.
You may notice, as my mother had, that I had made no provisions in those plans, for marriage or kids. As far as I was concerned, it might happen, it might not, I wasn’t planning on it or depending on it and figured it wasn’t terribly relevant to the trajectory of my career and money. That was a pretty unsophisticated understanding of how life and marriage works.
Clearly, I was bound and determined to have my own mind and at the time, that also meant keeping my own finances, separate and free. As the years passed, I saw too many bad choices made by one or another couple where there was a divide in the spender/saver continuum, even in my own family, or business decisions gone awry, especially in my own family, and I just couldn’t fathom living in that life.
“If you live in a community property state, not combining finances is just lying to yourself about legalities.” @practicalwed
So once upon a time, I might have disagreed with Meg. Even though the only real example of marriage I had was the relatively healthy and supportive partnership my parents shared, I was still certain that I could keep separate finances in any prospective
December 8, 2011
(This post is going up a little late.)
This is a first.
I received an email, as you might have if you were part of the Borders Rewards program, from Barnes and Noble informing me of the acquisition of Borders property in the liquidation which included “Borders brand trademarks and their customer list.”
I have no idea what they intend to do with the trademarks but they wanted that customer list for obvious reasons.
Our intent in buying the Borders customer list is simply to try and earn your business. The majority of our stores are within close proximity to former Borders store locations, and for those that aren’t, we offer our award- winning NOOK™ digital reading devices that provide a bookstore in your pocket. We are readers like you, and hope that through our stores, NOOK devices, and our bn.com online bookstore we can win your trust and provide you with a place to read and shop.
I don’t know about you but my first skim/misreading of that paragraph completely had me thinking they were offering Nooks as bribes for us to not opt out. Wishful thinking.
How do you feel about being passed over, with your full knowledge, as a customer from one store to another? Do you expect Barnes to earn your business all over again or are you already a customer? Would you expect them to start from ground zero if not?
December 5, 2011
With just about all savings interest rates in the tank, PiC and I have agreed that without waiting for me to further flesh out our annual budget for 2012, his next expired CD will go into a large prepayment toward the mortgage.
It isn’t the amount we need to get us at the right loan to value ratio for a refinance but it will be a substantial step in the right direction, and there’s no reason not to start this process. This is our primary residence, and the interest rate is nearly 5% while savings rates are barely hovering around 1%.
Even if we wanted to move out and turn this place into a rental, the current total mortgage and HOA costs are too high in comparison to market rental rates for the same sort of housing for us to break even in this economic environment. Between bringing down the total loan cost a significant amount and locking in a much lower interest rate, I think we could ultimately save approximately 40% of the current mortgage. That’s no small beans in cash flow and would make it easier for us to take any kind of rental situation risk.
I plan to sock that saved cash away again because I’m pathological like that. 😉
Actually, there’s a good reason – we would just have put something like $65,000 cash into the process. That’s my current estimate of the cash cost. We should be able to swing it if we put together our savings, prioritized carefully and set aside a new emergency fund. The huge cash defusion will still give me indigestion, committing that much cash when I’m still worrying about my next job-related moves is worrisome, but I do think it makes sense overall.
As for allocations: while that increased cash flow needs to replenish our savings because it will have been much decreased and that makes me nervy, we still have to set aside money for mid-sized savings goals for 2013 as well. That’s yet another reason it would make sense to let loose the cash bomb, we’d only be limited to looking for ways to increase income to fund any expenses for the upcoming year that can’t be carved out of this year’s budget. I’m a fan of planning a year in advance to break down the savings necessary for really big bills like property taxes, travel, and that sort of thing.
I feel like I’d better hurry up and make all the changes we need to, I’m running out of steam already!
:: Is this normal to feel so responsible for stuff this early on? Was the first of married life this hectic for anyone else?
December 2, 2011
With everything going on, it took two and a half weeks into married life to even look at the benefits. Ree-diculous. I’m normally obsessive about benefits but even I am now thinking 30 days post wedding is simply not enough time to deal with those changes. Still, we managed to wade through the majority of the issues.
I’ve been added to his full benefits package – Medical, Dental, Vision – and am retaining my own FSA. I was rather on the fence about that one – does it make more financial sense in terms of tax breaks for me to have the tax benefit, him, or does it come out in the wash since we should probably file together? I hadn’t a minute to do any tax estimates for the purpose of estimating how we should file so I just had to let that go for now.
A few things are still left to be done.
Because my additions to his benefits were made during his open enrollment period, his company won’t activate my benefits until the new year. Lovely.
Meanwhile, it turns out that I cannot, because of the way my benefits are structured, retain just my Dental and Vision with him as a dependent so that we have secondary coverary while dropping the Medical that I’m paying for. So I will have to drop all my benefits.
{Break for a moment of spazzing: Even though I’ll still be fully covered, that makes me feel naked. I haven’t not had my own full coverage since I was 17. Seriously. This is insecurity “I’m a dependent-what??” territory.}
I will now focus on the fact that I am exceedingly grateful to have the choice between two decent insurance plans that we can afford, even though his is more expensive, because there are too many people who can’t afford insurance at all including my own family. {That’s why the reaction, actually – I’ve always worked past the point of breaking to make sure I’d have coverage. Now we’re dependent solely on his job to provide. Dependent. *breathe*}
You will note that while I may fully intend to make rational decisions, I still have emotions about my money.
Estimated cost: Increases in monthly premiums of approximately 20% overall, but coverage will be more extensive for routine procedures.
One example: I’m expecting a slew of dental work to the tune of $1000+, and after the deductible, my cost was going estimated to be $388 on my own plan with a $100 deductible and an 80% basics coverage.
PiC’s has a lower deductible ($50) and covers 90% of basic treatment. While we’re paying $8 more/month for that premium dental plan, I’m clearly going to be saving at least that $100 difference right off the bat with this single treatment between the deductible and the extra 10% coverage.
Next up: When my coverage starts with PiC, I have to cancel my own benefits using the Life Status Change for Reason of “Insurance Coverage Changes”. I didn’t even remember that was one of the options under qualifying life event/doesn’t have to wait for open enrollment to change your plan! Learn something new.
We also increased our life insurance to more adequate amounts based on our new financial obligations and added each other as beneficiaries. That was weird. But necessary. I wouldn’t be able to carry this mortgage plus all the other finances without extra help and both PiC and my dad would need some financial assistance if I were bumped off.
That means filling out more paperwork this weekend and once again at the start of the year. After that, we should be in good shape until the next open enrollment period! *whew*
So much for simple, huh?
November 24, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who is celebrating, everyone who would be celebrating, and those who would have liked to or have opted to celebrate in their own way.
We’re having a very quiet Thanksgiving this year – no long distance travel, no incredibly ambitious menu with seven gourmet-style items in a ten hour cooking marathon, no splitting our time across multiple families. I’m incredibly grateful for that. I’m grateful that we’re just doing our own little silly dinner with whatever we want, with very little pressure except for my own expectations of really really wanting yummy turkey, stuffing and gravy.
In the grander scheme of things, I’m ever so grateful for PiC’s love and support. I’m grateful for this time and space in our lives in which, despite and because of all the challenges, we’re still able to cope and overcome. I’m glad that, despite my minor reservations, we dove into the faux-lopement last month together. It’ll be a month in four days and we have had a hell of a married life so far. And yet, it’s been somehow completely non-turbulent in terms of our relationship. We do manage this kind of chaos well enough, as weird as it is to say. None of it’s actually been easy, it’s just that we’ve done this before.
I’m hugely grateful for all of the virtual support writ live from the Twitter and blogging community during these weeks and months. It’s been a pocket haven of sanity and levity.
There’s more, but I managed to cook a full Thanksgiving meal largely by myself and it was actually pretty good and I’ve eaten enough for my belly to want an extra compartment so I’m going to carry on in another post. But that I was physically able to do that? That my hands, arms, legs, and brain held out? That it actually feels like I’m sleeping when I sleep a full night, finally? That’s pretty good too.
Signing off for the night.