About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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July 19, 2011
Poor Doggle.
He’s going to have to live past 22 at this rate to amortize the amount we’ve put into him this early on. We had to take him to the vet again because he’s exhibited some joint pain and I wanted to be sure there wasn’t an injury that was readily apparent to the vet that I was missing.
It turned out that while the pain was quite real, the vet couldn’t be sure whether it was a joint or soft tissue injury without manipulation under sedation and x-rays. He was in far too much pain to relax for that exam, but given his slow improvement throughout the week, I decided we would opt to treat with pain meds, ice and R&R for a few weeks first before committing to $500 worth of diagnostics.
Either way, we needed a good pain medication while he recovered even if it was just a minor injury because his discomfort hadn’t faded after a couple of days, even if the symptoms had improved a little.
If he noticeably declines in the next few days, or at any point during his prescribed bed rest, then we’ll just take him in immediately.
Happily, he loves his meds and doesn’t mind the icing at all. Strange pup.
Tallying up his tab:
This visit: $106
Doggle Chariot, split w/PiC because honestly, PiC’s been considering a new-to-us car for years: $5000
Month One: Coming Home: $835
July 14, 2011
Well. Now we’ve dunnit.
The situation: After setting the date for a car purchase in 2012, and swearing up and down that nothing was going to happen on that front until we had that settled, what happens? PiC finds a potential Doggle Chariot.
I was pretty frustrated with the thwarting of my financial plans. But then I decided that was a knee-jerk reason not to buy and self-centered to boot (my finances, my decisions) so I sat down with spreadsheets and crunched the numbers until I had a clearer view of where we both stand.
Financing was never an option, period. That’s not something I’m willing to compromise on – paying interest (unnecessarily) in order to defer payments means you can’t afford that purchase.
The Analysis: Considering our cash position, I didn’t really want to spend the money. [I know, when do I ever?] But the unwillingness was based on the fact that, if our finances were merged, our net worth would not be at a place that I would feel comfortable making a major purchase. But as we’re not married yet, the monies are not merged. And even if they were, discomfort or not, this purchase would not significantly hurt our big picture goals. True, it wouldn’t do us any favors for the year, and it will be a pain to juggle around cash for property taxes but, it wouldn’t actively put us in a bad position and I’ve also always been cash heavy so we wouldn’t be breaking CDs or other funds to pull this cash out.
From that perspective, if this was the right car, and if the seller accepted our offer, the amount could be under ten thousand dollars, paid in full, in cash, therefore not a financially disastrous decision.
We also don’t intend to carry three cars on the insurance so his car would have to be sold, and that would make up some of the purchase price.
Considering the wedding plans that aren’t coming along but would still need to be paid for at some point when it does come together, I was still on the fence, but agreed that we were in a position to at least look at the car in case it happened to be a well-maintained vehicle that was worth spending on earlier than originally planned.
Of course, the car was not only in great shape with low mileage, and much of the major maintenance had already been done on it early and the work checked out.
The Outcome: I should stop poopooing PiC’s Craigslist stalking, he managed to find the nicest people to buy a new car from. Not only did they accept a really good (for us) offer, they accommodated our needs for the various bits leading up to sale since we weren’t terribly close to each other and even had purchased road trip supplies for Doggle as gifts when the sale was finalized, knowing we were buying it for Doggle.
Now we’re able to have more than two people plus 1 dog per car ride, which is helpful. Most importantly, Doggle’s much more comfortable getting in and out of the Chariot now, and has more room to move around, although now you mostly only see his big head if you look in the rearview because he likes to be Right In The Middle. This is much better for his joints. He was always a bit scrabbly trying to get into my car and you could see him visibly heaving himself up into the backseat. Now he’s still leaping but it’s much more graceful and puts far less stress on his body.
My Realization: It’s still really hard for me to talk through major or minor financial decisions with adults and trust that they are open and willing and committed and going to make the right decisions. I can talk, but I can’t trust. It’s still an emotional imperative that I must be the one to make the decisions at the end of the day or suffer the consequences. Thanks, family. And I’ve always been hands-off with PiC’s finances, outside of sharing general (or specific if asked) information. This transition is a bit tough. But it’s something I’m working on.
July 11, 2011
A woodcut arrived in the mail today. No kidding, an actual piece of art, that is also a wedding invitation was delivered by the USPS, Lord love ’em.
It never fails to amaze me how much better people are at this wedding thing than I, with the use of natural materials, and embossing, and engraving and you know, scheduling. That stuff.
This isn’t about the psychology of how to really mess with other prospective or future bride’s minds via fancitude. I’m bemused by that part, and quite impressed, to be perfectly frank. I have no intentions of ever attempting to play in that pool because I’d immediately drown forthwith. (I keep stopping to pet the woodcut every few sentences. It’s that cool.) I think the only thing more pettable would be flocking. But maybe that’s just tacky? I don’t know …. Right. Digressing again.
This is an invitation to a destination wedding for which I would have to travel a fair distance.** On an island. A pretty island, where we have other friends as well. Oh and food, yummy food all around the island! And we like this couple quite well. So there are draws to going for a few days, not just for the wedding, to make the scary ticket prices worthwhile.
But obviously, since my thoughts trend in that direction, I’m not actually very close with either of them, though we have known them for a longish time and know them through PiC, and PiC’s not so close with them either.
At least, we’re not the kind of close where we saw the announcement or the invite and were online booking our tickets immediately because we wouldn’t miss it for the world. Not the kind of close where you would be surprised not to be invited. Conversely, we weren’t shocked to be invited either. In fact, I can’t say what level of close we are. We like them. We get along well with them. We enjoy their company. It’d be great to see them and raise a glass to their union. Is that what it takes to rate an invite?
I get that people often have the freedom to invite more people to a destination wedding because you know many of them won’t be able to make it. Although for something like this where you’re not *that* far away, you might not choose to go that route that if you’re hoping to control head count. I’m guessing that’s not so much a concern for them.
My ruminations on the matter range thusly:
Do you invite all and sundry you would enjoy the company of and wouldn’t mind/can afford to pay for at such a shindig knowing that those you care about will come, the rest are bonuses?
Do you invite only those you most care about, and do they understand an invite is a selective thing and therefore indication of belovedness?
Or does the 80% rule pretty much always apply however you slice the invitations? (Expect that 80% of your list will probably RSVP yes or show up.)
For this invitation:
We would expect to pay at least $1100 for airfare depending on the flight dates, we have been offered accommodations by another prospective guest but I don’t know what those dates span (our dates would be cheapest Thursday through Monday it seems). If we had to go for a shorter trip, airfare would be a couple hundred more, or we’d have to pay for a hotel room for the additional day(s). Either way, we would have to pay for food and drink for five days. That doesn’t include any other transportation in between, or other outings or activities.
Guesstimate Budget: Could run up to $2000 for 4-5 days.
I could possibly get creative with buying some miles to get at least one ticket nearly covered, possibly. Bring that down to around $1500 max. But I’m not sure how to fit this into our schedule, even, just a couple months away from our wedding if we have one. And I honestly don’t know how important we are to them. Feels like we should know this sort of thing but …. we don’t. Thoughts thoughts thoughts.
Open to the audience:
If you were in my sandals, would you be Kauai/Bahamas/Tahiti/tropical island bound?
If you were on the other side of the list, how did or would you curate your list?
** NOTE: I completely goofed calling this a destination wedding! This is a wedding that we would all have to travel for but the couple actually live there now. They moved back to this island a little while ago and I managed to forget this because they lived here for so long. Derp! I was also thinking of it in the sense of a destination wedding because so many of their friends over here were invited.
July 9, 2011
We’re now in Month Two of Doggledom. I’m like a proud mama who can’t stop bragging on her child, even though he’s odd and slightly bratty.
He doesn’t bark, except twice at mailmen, and one muted w–oof! at PiC the other night when he was sooo excited about … I think … getting mocked about being excited? That last was the first time I’d ever heard him bark. Excitement for all!
He hangs out with us all the time, quietly, and mostly in a silly half-needy, half-but-it’s-ok-if-you-ignore-me kind of way. Underfoot as close as you can get, but mutually ignoring.
He loves to follow an inch behind you when you’re trying to Swiffer; double points if he manages to predict the direction you were going to turn and gets in the way. He’s really good at this game.
We discovered there are actually two treats he really enjoys, out of all the treats that we’ve offered, so much so that he’s now showing emotion beyond the staid ear perks and ear-downing of happy. He also gets very very conflicted when offered the choice between a walk and the treat.
Doggle’s thought process (Lots of running around involved): Treat? Walk? Treat? Walk? Treat ON walk? No? Finish treat, then walk? No? Walk now? Treat ON walk? No again? Walk now now? *drops treat* Auuughhhh nooooo don’t leave me I’m coo-mm–in–gg!!
Unfortunately, he’s not just camera-shy, he’s kind of camera-angry. Camera-resentful? Takes after his mom that way. If he sees the camera come out, he walks away from you with an eye pip cocked.
How dare you? his gait says. He hears a click that might be a camera? Head snaps up, eyes gleam with a balefulness that makes you apologize before you’ve even hidden the evidence. Because you want to hide the evidence.But at the same time, he’s the gentlest, most tolerant soul I’ve seen for an older dog with a hidden past.Children of all ages and sizes don’t faze him, car rides of any length don’t either, any multiplicity of other dogs make him cheerful. Strangers will use him as a training tool for their puppies. Seriously. We’ll be eating outdoors somewhere, and someone will use the fact that he’s completely calm and unmoved to train their yapping, flippy-outty, over-excited baby dogs to “calm,” “sit,” “it’s ok,” right in front of him.
You know he doesn’t actually necessarily love it when I bear-hug him, but he lets me anyway. (He would prefer it if I’d stop, probably. Not gonna happen.) He’s definitely got some Happy Place in his head and he’s a perma-resident.
After regaling my oldest friends with stories of his depression during our weekend without PiC, his clear designation of PiC as the alpha or his favorite, doesn’t like my walks so will go to PiC if I hold the leash, one of them asked: How does it feel to be rejected by your own dog? *snicker*
Better ask PiC how it feels to be Doggle’s BESTEST FRIEND EVAR. He didn’t think there was a possibility that the Doggle would choose him!
He’s a love, though, and comes to me for quiet company.
Word to the wise: The dental chews from Costco reek to high heaven. But Doggle, who again, barely showed registered emotion on a normal scale for the past year and then some about anything was ecstatic about them. He’s even now voluntarily sitting at random times, possibly hoping for a treat. Or a walk. We can’t tell, but it’s pretty funny. There’s hope this old dog is learning us new tricks yet. 😉
Ed Note: I forgot to mention, you know how I know he likes me? Even if PiC is his favorite? He lets me alligator face him. 🙂 You know. Put my hands under his chin and push up so he has the fattest-looking alligatorey, beestung face ever. He just squidges his eyes shut and goes with it. Love. This. Guy!
June 28, 2011
We finally did it.
We finally caught a phone deal at the right time and although I missed out on the “ideal” plan that I had in mind before, the one we settled on comes out a bit cheaper than the previous one so PiC and I have consolidated ourselves from a three service group (each of us and my parents) to one single carrier, upgrading him to a smartphone in the process.
Our two smartphones are free, and thanks to a corporate discount, the activation fees were waived ($35/each) and we get a 10% discount on the phone-only parts of the plan.
We have unlimited data, although only the first 2Gs are high-speed. After that, they throttle the speed, but so far, it doesn’t seem like we even come close to using a G each in a month.
It might have been a mistake to just go with PiC’s phone choice, though. He picked the G2 which was free with a 2 year plan and he liked that it came with the slide out keyboard. That’s perfect for him but with small hands and a very differently configured touchscreen in combination with the very thick phone and case, I still can’t adjust to either option and typing has become a huge chore. I’m frequently tapping away while walking and grumbling: “I hate you!” as I make mistakes.
Interruption: I caved. I found another touchscreen sans slideout keyboard option for free and quickly called for a buyer’s remorse exchange. Thanks to a quick on the trigger CSR, though, the order was put through without overnight shipping which I was willing to pay for at $12. Unless UPS works a whippy shippy by Friday, I’m traveling over the holiday weekend without a phone since this one has to go back by Friday. That’ll be a challenge to coordinate.
Ah well.
Back to the good stuff. We’re now paying, after taxes, around $150 for four phones, two with data, two without, unlimited texts for all, 1000 minutes between the four of us. We were paying something like $210 across three carriers for three dumb phones, all falling apart, and 1 smartphone that didn’t work 80% of the time. It’s not an enormous savings but it will add up and so long as I can get back to functioning, we’ll all be the happier for it. 😉
June 20, 2011
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| Borrowed from a free Owly comic, one of the most expressive non-verbal books I’ve ever had the pleasure of “reading.” |
My oldest friend, measured by years we’ve known each other, not by her age, was feted recently. She’s expecting her first baby and we both traveled fair distances to meet each other for this event. I can’t remember the last time we were able to spend time together.
That’s always been the story of our friendship, actually.
We met as children of primary school age, then separated by district lines until that same bureaucracy funneled us back into the same schools. Through high school we remained good friends, despite sharing few classes. We had little in common other than a drip of superficially similar background but we fit like two bits of puzzle without jostling, always kindred spirits, always loyal, no matter how long since last contact. It’s the kind of relationship that doesn’t needa crisis or a reason to prove that it exists.
In the years following, her faith and our lives have taken dramatically different directions and yet neither of us have felt any distance grow between us. No moss has overgrown our friendship; no differences diminish the value of our connection.
And so, with the coming of her baby ever-imminent, PiC and I headed down south so I could spend this joyful time with her. Now typically, I’m a bit of a groaner when it comes to these things. I hate them, to be honest, having been to so many bloodless affairs. Wedding and baby showers can tend to become gift grabs when all and sundry are invited, fancied up for the look of the thing, and frankly, I tired of it long ago.
But this shower was a labor of love by her other closest friend who hosts beautifully and thoughtfully. The guest list was a small, curated mix of close family, family friends, and dear friends, and the mum-to-be was able to spend good quality time with most of the attendees such that everyone who traveled was able to share some wisdom and laughter. The food was delicious – always important – and plentiful, and the guests all seemed relaxed and comfortable.
She and I saw the guests off and stayed well after to help clean up, spend time with the hostess and her family, and we later packed her gifts for her travel back. Despite being quite far along, she was doing the dishes while I cleared the table, dried the dishes, and watched the kids. Clearly, my friend is not a brat and we’re still a good team. We later spent a good half day together catching up and running other errands.
I spent $100 on the shower, for gifts on and off-registry, lunch, and gas (because she generously offered to be the driver during our post-shower bonding time), not counting travel costs to SoCal. We noticed that it’s a funny thing with babies that people can’t resist buying all kinds of things so you go off-registry so easily. Guilty.
But, look, I’m not going to get to see my niece or nephew related by long-time friendship much so I have to start the nerding-by-osmosis early and often: books and bonds! My favorite gift to the baby was a black and white Owly book. Mama-to-be says black and white is supposed to stimulate the baby’s brain. Favorite gift for me was Mama-to-be assuring me that yes, if I *had* gotten her child superhero underpants, the baby would have worn them. (Guess what I’m going to buy next?)
I also brought back a few offers to help with wedding planning from old friends I hadn’t seen in ages which was really generous and a possible line on other wedding related stuff. It was one of my best trips back down south in a really long time.
June 16, 2011
Doggle’s Details, continued.
Now that I’ve shocked and appalled you all with the high cost of living in California, and particularly in Northern California… 😉
I’ve never paid more than $50 to adopt a pet, and rarely even that much, in the past, so this adoption was quite a bit unusual in a number of ways.
I have never considered purchasing from a breeder or a pet store – my philosophy against that is clear. Those future pets will eventually find homes because they were bred with the intent to be sold and someone has a vested interest in placing them elsewhere; animals in shelters and rescues are only a step away from euthanasia. I am an adopter, always. I was that kid hauling home strays trying to figure out who they belonged to and how to get them home if they had a home. Once in a rare while, we would become the new home. My parents were sympathetic but they weren’t crazy or wealthy so it was a meal and a roof until the dog could be placed somehow.
It was a lot easier, back in the day down south, when we had a yard. Someone was sort of always around to keep an eye on the pups running around or keep them separated if you had a new stray in. Surrounded by friends and family nearby, you could even easily phone someone for a quick drop in if you really had to on an extra busy day to feed the dog(s). We never did that but you always knew the safety net was there.
Now, though, PiC and I wanting to bring home a dog is a very different story. The simple lack of a yard alone changes the game entirely. Add in the frequently inclement weather, our working hours and commute times, all of these spelled out a need for a completely different approach.
Suddenly, we had to satisfy a profile if this was to work. We couldn’t just pick a nice looking friendly pup and call it a day. We especially couldn’t have a puppy: they need attention, socialization, training, access to the outdoors/potty pads every few hours while they’re learning bladder control since neither of us wants to have to unteach bad habits we helped instill.
I’d been wanting an older dog; PiC prefers larger dogs. We knew we needed a dog that enjoyed going for walks but could tolerate being indoors for long periods of time. This dog had to be dog-friendly and kid-friendly because there are loads of both running around here, and not a barker by nature. We’ve been living with a barker below us and it’s driving us batty but we tolerate it. I guarantee you, however, that the neighbors would not be so tolerant in return. There are some incredibly petty people in this HOA.
Looking at shelters alone didn’t quite cut it. While they were great starting points because they had all kinds of lovely dogs we were limited from the outset against adopting specific breeds, and the local shelter is heavily stocked with those specific breeds. My favorites were cut straightaway, the jerks! They don’t allow Rottweilers, Pit Bulls, Dobermanns, etc. Breedists. I despise blanket restrictions like that. I love dogs of just about any breed and pit bulls especially because they can be so very good-tempered, intelligent and trainable, and the local shelters prescribe mandatory training classes when they adopt out pit bulls which is absolutely smart, so it’s a great set-up for their lives, but noooo…. *still bitter about this*
We stumbled across a specific breed rescue that pulls northern breeds from shelters and puts them into foster homes directly, and while Doggle’s actually not really a pinpointable member of any of the breeds they cater to, he’s close enough that they couldn’t resist him.
He’d been with them a year, had a surgical procedure and follow-up, vaccinations, a microchip placed, and was mellow the whole time. Reviewing that year with him, his foster mom was able to give us his history of behavior, preferences, reactions to people, other dogs, changes, diet, toys, length of time he was happy to be left alone – all of this practically before we ever came to see him. When we met him, he was this chubby cheeked cheerful fellow that just radiated curiosity and goodwill. He’s been that way ever since. It would have been tough to get that consistent and detailed a perspective from most shelters.
While our local shelter does do fostering and would have been half the price, they didn’t have anyone that fit enough of the profile that wasn’t a Pit. (I love our Doggle and wouldn’t trade him but I’m still annoyed on behalf of the Pits who won’t get placed because of places like ours.) I truly look forward to moving into a home where the only rules are our own: a dog that is in need of a home, trainable and gets along with other dogs and people.
The high(er) cost for his adoption, then, was because of the rescue organization that we went with. They are non-profit, yes, and it also costs a lot to rescue, care for and maintain the dogs for the length of time it takes to get them to their permanent homes. All the volunteers, going all the way up to the top of the organization, work for free. (I checked.) While I’m not one to pay a higher price for perceived value, this was a higher price for something we put a high premium on: knowledge that we could rely on and the availability of a pet that was the right fit.
Also, let’s not kid ourselves about the cute factor.
