About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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January 8, 2011
Overall, a fairly solid increase from last year, I’d say, across the board through another rather turbulent year.
During 2010…
My mom’s health… huge turn for the worse. The downward spiral continues. I still can’t accept the disintegration of my family unit as I knew it and still struggle with the fact that this idiot won’t grow up. But PiC managed to save the year.
I combated the depressing months of job-hunting and fruitless interviews with massive decluttering efforts. Then I landed a job and had to move. Enter all sorts of soul-wracking guilt and abandonment remorse. And more shockingly, a measure of peace and the slow drain of rage from my life. It turns out moving was good for me. So is cohabitation. Which was also a surprise.
Cooking and cleaning became a more regular and pleasant part of life, and as predicted, work kicked my butt for months. I was miserable, regretted it, detested it, and ultimately said, there is no way you’re going to beat me. Eventually, I prevailed over the worst of the problems, and the rest are just part of the job.
I’ve been quiet here for lack of energy and brainspace but that’s slowly coming back.
There’s been travel, there’s been life, there’s been love. There’s finally a sense of potential again, and to be perfectly honest, that scares the skivvies offa me.
Looking forward…
There’s a lot of work still to be done. My parents need moving, but my dad’s become much more proactive in working on these things I’ve been talking about for years. While I still don’t necessarily agree with some of his decisions about my mom as they’re born of stress, short-sighted, and made in a “spare the daughter and spare her money” mode, he’s trying his best and I can push them to do what needs doing when it comes to their health. Their dental repairs are nearly complete now. Only two more months of treatment to go. Thank goodness the pain is gone and the worst of the uncomfortable treatments are over.
My dearest dog is slowly fading. She’s not got a lot of time left and my dad doesn’t really like the idea of my taking her away with me since he can take care of her pretty easily as she whiles her hours away in the sun or lounging nearby. He’s probably right, but my heart aches at the thought of not being with her. I guess I always thought I could keep her happy and healthy with me by force of will.
We might adopt a dog eventually but not a puppy. We can’t be there for a puppy like we once were as kids.
[But they are so cute. For the record.]
It’s going to be a really busy year in quite a few respects.
January 6, 2011
We rang in the new year driving down the highway counting down about ten seconds off the real time. But never mind that, onward!
Savings
I’m looking at three specific areas to save money in January:
1. Cell phones – consolidating my parents and PiC and myself onto one family plan
2. Cable/internet/landline – PiC’s promotional rate for all three services has expired and he’s now happy to let me reduce to the most basic or do without some services. I’m considering the options, though my heart is sad to consider options that don’t include BBC. Alas.
3. Insurance – I’ve been carrying a variety of insurance policies and he and I need to take a closer look at whether we’re overlapping or if we can consolidate for better rates at some point. This is mostly planning, I’m in favor of getting an umbrella policy if we end up combining finances and y’know, marrying it up this year.
Income
1. There’s bonus talk in the air this year, based on last year’s performance, and I had intended to put it toward a big fat trip this spring but as it turns out, that might not really take the form we once imagined. (That bit goes under spending, doesn’t it?)
2. My first year comes to an end this spring and I’ll be up for a review. I fully expect to make a strong case for a raise since my six month review was entirely positive but I’m not sure that the organization tends to be generous on either front (raise or bonus) in comparison to previous years and employers.
Investing
1. PiC and I will be sitting down to evaluate his investment strategies for age and goal appropriateness.
2. My trading account has been dormant, accumulating bits of dividends, and it’d be nice to have a few more income-earning stocks. Time for more research!
Spending
1. Travel will take a chunk of money, depending where we go, and if we count honeymooning in there, that’s another chunk. Then again, honeymooning might happen next year.
2. There’s the small matter of a wedding. I’ve got no plans other than to keep it as simple as possible.
What are your plans this year?
January 1, 2011
Having skipped November, but knowing how much was spent, roughly, and how much has still gone unreimbursed, I was expecting some devastation on the NW front. It’s not great but it’s not terrible either.
Of course when I started crunching the numbers, my mind was definitely in a different place. Now it’s in a morass of logistics that haven’t even begun to start touching on budget yet so that’ll be a different post.
I’m a little bit glad that we haven’t combined finances yet. Apparently I failed to communicate with words to PiC my feelings about not needing or wanting a diamond. I just formed my opinion so long ago that it seemed like surely I would have mentioned it to him by now. I just never thought any engagement ring residing on my finger should ever cost more than a hundred dollars, at best. (I’m pretty sure that number was more generous but the closer I got to writing this, the less money I think is reasonable for a bauble …. it’s gorgeous and he spent all kinds of time picking out what he wanted for me and I don’t want to be an ingrate but .. I don’t think an engagement ring is necessary! Not for me.) That said, it’s gorgeous and I can’t really, erm, return it to put his money back in savings or anything!
Yeah that sounds terrible.
I’m sorry, it’s hard to wrap my head around the idea he spent real money on this ring. I love him and I love why he did it and he knew it was entirely unnecessary, just taking me some time to reconcile.
Also, he was snickering when I mentioned doing my snapshot because the month of November was terrible for my finances and now I know why. *faint* At least he didn’t go in debt.
Investing: Slow and steady, it’s finally adding up a bit.
Savings: I’m increasing the cash savings by 3% to compensate for the payroll tax holiday. I’ll have to add another fund type, clearly.
Spending: It’s possible we might have to adjust our grand travel plans after all, I’m not sure about spending $2000-3000 on a big ole trip now that we have a big unknown on the horizon. Maybe not canceling but adjustments may be necessary.
That’s all my brain has room for right now. Ta!
December 31, 2010
but it’s a photo to hold you over ’til I can focus again.
Looks like all the poking and prodding about my being next was rather a bit more informed than my tart replies of: not anytime soon!
December 29, 2010
Dodging and weaving did me no good. After days of being cooped up with at least two sickies over the holidays, my immune system has succumbed, and so has PiC’s. He’s scheduled to be off anyway but I’ve been working from home to avoid taking sick time or falling too much behind.
It’s not just a major pain in the caboose being fluish, which is it. It’s that the energy drain somehow touches off this chain reaction of pain and joint flare-ups so that even though honestly, I don’t feel *that* sick and would normally go in, I have to baby myself because my body’s teetering on a precipice of a severe flare-up. As is, I’m one-hand Manny as my whole right side’s on strike. PiC keeps asking if he should feed me. [*sigh* Not yet, thank you.]
A severe flare-up goes a little something like this: imagine someone’s stuck a tube in you and drained all the fluid out of you. Then smacked a fire hot length of tubing on all major joints several times. Twisted and cracked all the minor joints, and has got all your muscles randomly and persistently hooked up to electrodes that send entirely the wrong signal to twitch and shriek helpless protestations to a brain that desperately says: “breathe! relax! breathe! OWWW!”
It tends to move in for about two or more weeks at a time. No short pop ins here.
So yeah, no thanks. If I have to be a big fat wussy who stays home because “a-heh-a-heh, I hef a leetle cough” lest that comes to town? I’m staying home and grateful I can work from home, grateful I can rest in between times and darned tooting I’m grateful for a most excellent partner who understands the pain and powers through his symptoms to tend to my nearly invisible ones.
I hate being sick but it could totally be worse.
December 28, 2010
Not long after my return from the UK, PiC surprised me with a visit to a not quite so local spa. Normally, I schedule my therapeutic massage appointments according to a fairly strict set of PF-guided rules:
1. Very local (to combat the psychological barrier of laziness – I won’t drag myself out to go),
2. Must be some deal that works out to paying about $50 or less for an hour,
3. Doesn’t have to be exceedingly highly rated because if they’re new, it should still be pretty good, but it can’t have already gotten bad reviews.
Flying in the face of all of these, he’d just looked for the most highly rated spa in what he considers a reasonable radius, booked an appointment for me, and told me we were going some place I’d never heard of, in a city that was too far away in my opinion but it didn’t matter because I wasn’t driving, and told me to be ready to leave by a certain time.
He’d already even paid for the massage so I couldn’t cancel it, insisting that it priced comparably with any other 60-minute massage. Me, feebly, “but, that’s regular price!” Realized I didn’t even know what appointment was booked after we got there, but as I was ushered from the usual, semi-generic front room to the women’s dressing room (!!) it stopped mattering.
Women’s dressing room? Wha? My Groupon massages have you undress in the massage room that’s good enough for me… warmed robes? Slippers in a variety of sizes? A vanity complete with hairdressing supplies for after? Lockers for your belongings? Befuddlement changed to bemusement.
And of course you shuffle to the next room, berobed and beslippered, into a lounge complete with cushy seats, to sip cucumber water, teas, and nibble on biscotti and muffiny things.
By the time I got to the actual massage, which was the first massage I’ve had since moving that came close to relieving much of my chronic pain in a single session owing much to the skill and technique of my practitioner, not just the warm table, hot towels and prewarmed lotions, I was a muddle of “I should have put more into my FSA.”
To conclude the visit, they even had a small shower room with shower products that flung me back to the early days of dating PiC, ironically enough. Not leave a massage with lion hair? Yes please!
As much as I’m about stretching every nickel and dime, I’m absolutely tempted to come back to that massage experience even at almost twice my accepted price point. Yes, I know, lifestyle inflation, but …!
Then again, as I try to gently detach my attachment to the new place, honesty compels me to admit I’ve been cheap on the massage front. I’ve only been lukewarm about all of the massages I’ve had since moving; they haven’t been very effective because the practitioners I’ve tried so far haven’t been more than ok. This one was the best one not just in comparison but actually practically compares to my friend, the therapist who once routinely pulled all my knots out by dint of knowing me, my medical history and my pain problems. Add to that my reluctance to schedule appointments and I haven’t actually been spending the budget on worthwhile massages.
This may be a case of being too cheap for my own good.
At best, I might manage one appointment per month or two. In a year, that’d cost between $600-1200. That’s quite high. But in combination with an exercise regimen that expands in scope with each improvement I make, that’s better health and less medication to take. And taking the long view, if I’m going to get massages, I might as well get the ones that work, no?
Whether or not I ever go back, I’m just happy that it was entirely entertaining to be pampered and that I don’t take one ounce of it for granted.
December 24, 2010
We’ll be doing two weekends of family stuff in a row so I’m looking forward to clearing my head after that and having a fresh start. [Lots of stress to be read in between those lines.]
Since I inadvertently skipped my November Snapshot, next week’s year-end roundup will be enlightening and possibly frightening. Let’s hope not, though. [Submitting my receipts from the business trip would have been helpful…]
Whatever holiday you celebrate this season, I wish you the very best.
