About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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May 17, 2010
Crystal of Budgeting in the Fun Stuff and Simple Life in France recently imagined their lives without debt. Having spent a full quarter of my life in the state of debt repayment, I’d like to point out some potential lingering effects you might observe after you bid adieu to your personal interest-sucking leech.
Facial tics: when people who brag about taking on unnecessary debt. As witness, Jersey Mom’s overheard conversation by the Woman Who Wants to Wear Her House.
More severe side effects may include the barely suppressed urge to slap the person in question, or a totally reasonable rage.
Ulcers: when a loved one reveals plans to embark on a fantastic unfunded business venture. Without funding. Or a business plan. Or an exit plan. Or anything except blind optimism.
Migraines: when you discover someone deep in debt or without sufficient cash flow has purchased Yet Another Gadget.
I take a few pills of Mind Yer Own Derned Business every morning now, to offset those ingrained reactions. That and a pair of earplugs means much less stress and (verbal) slappin’ all around, at least for the people I’m not related to.
Do these sound familiar to anyone or is it just me?
May 15, 2010
It’s been long enough since any graduations of my own that graduation ceremonies are now utterly unmotivating. Or so I say now. May is a bit early for my taste, but maybe around June I’ll feel the energy from Pomp and Circumstance!
In the meantime, there’s something about a) coming back to my old room and b) traveling on a Saturday that makes me just want to hole up like a hermit and so that’s what I’ve done today.
I’ve emerged to spend $30 in pursuit of grooming and feeding. Both were good.
The latter was a catch-me-up session with a dear friend whose family news left me stunned and wandering the mall with unseeing eyes for half an hour until my brain cleared. While there were no deaths, there was a close call, and several other life events as defined by say, your health care provider for qualification to change your plan have or will occur. None of the good ones, though. The best I could do with give great big hugs and wish things would improve, rapidly. Y’know the weird thing? I felt guilty. It all happened after I moved, and I thought, “well crap, my world didn’t completely fall apart aside from that one really tough week, but your family took the hit.”
It felt like the odd void of disaster in my family was moved to someone else I love. Crazy, I know.
In any case, I’ll be writing the usual cousin check for a graduation and another four years completed. As always, I’m inmensely proud and scrambling for an appropriate card to tuck it into because darned if I didn’t take the box of cards up north with me when I moved!
And can I say? I’ve missed this crazy SoCal sun!! I’ll have to remember how not to get sunburned tomorrow.
May 14, 2010
This gorgeous, thick, almost plush orange envelope landed in my mailbox yesterday. It was addressed to “Revanche and Guest” – you know what that means!
Wedding bells are ringing in honor of my dear old friend. He was my one of my favorite freshman year teachers and we’ve kept in touch lo these many years – through college, through the dissolution of his marriage, through some incredibly tough job hunting and soul searching years. And he’s found the woman who, without even meeting her, it’s plain she so matches his personality that reading her writing is like reading his. They’re not the same, but it’s close enough to make no never mind.
I’m delighted for him. He’s a warm and loving soul; a troubled marriage, divorce, ex-wife’s hasty remarriage to the strangest match ever (oh yes, we knew the guy) and the loss of his beloved pets who were children to him didn’t tarnish his quest for beauty (Whitmannish, Emersonian, Byronlike) and love.
My hope is that sometime after the wedding, I’ll get to know his wife and we’ll get along, and we’ll continue meeting up at odd times in our lives and be friends until the end of time.
In the meantime, it’s a scramble to make sure that I’ve travel funds for another trip back down south to witness their nuptials and wish them well. As luck would have it, they’ve scheduled it for the holiday weekend in July so with that Monday off as buffer/recovery time I’m considering driving instead of flying. It’s more cost-effective when you have more than one person in the car. Tallying for two: driving would probably cost less than $200 for the weekend, compared to 2 plane tickets at $180ish each. And if any other friends want to hitch a ride down to LA for the weekend, that’d defray the cost further.
Between this unexpected news and the flight back home for a graduation I neglected to budget for, I’ve emptied the well of travel money, travel credits, and travel anything else! But I wouldn’t dream of missing it and can’t wait to see him again.
May 12, 2010
“When did you become Martha Stewart?”
One of my friends was suitably impressed by the dinner I prepared over the weekend and that I cook as much as I do each week. The evidence of my evolution into frugal domesticity was rather striking this weekend, come to think.
I came home from work, did more work at home, made a three course dinner with dessert, served brunch, second lunch, picked up supplies for my friends the intrepid painters, washed, dried and folded a combination of laundry for three, and made dinner again.
As I suspected, several long years ago, supporting my family financially isn’t all there is to running a household. Housekeeping is hard work. I can’t even begin to imagine how much more challenging this would be combined with having children. And pets? No wonder my parents resisted our pleas for dogs so long. Every little bit eats away at your previous time and energy.
The extra effort in having guests who are old friends would be well worth the company alone. In this case, it’s more than repaid because they’ve cheerfully taken on the task of painting the apartment (not my plan or idea, but I can’t get into that right now). All I’ve got to do is provide support services like cooking and cleaning so they can handle the stuff my shoulder and various other joints won’t allow. Our friendships don’t require currency but it’s nice that we’re good about exchanging favors like random chores or emergency break-up moving services.
As I was folding our laundry, the thought occurred to me that the next time I buy detergent and fabric softener – a long while from now as I only use a wee dash at a time, I need a different scent. Something about this combination reminds me of someone I was once fond of but am no longer. It’s strange how something as simple as a fragrance can influence future shopping habits.
May 11, 2010
Remember that 2 meals out per week thing? It’s becoming pretty challenging.
Those friends being in town didn’t help – we hit the quota, and would have gone over had it not been over a weekend. Twice on Sunday! I mean, really! But it was dim sum, and then the longest afternoon of shopping/errands stretched into a late night sushi dinner, and who was I to argue?
Still, that blew the dining out budget for the entire week so I had to veto Cinco de Mayo. Luckily, I had made a huge pot of homemade chicken soup which heated up wonderfully for Wednesday night dinner. Leftovers sufficed for Thursday night but we had to defrost something that night lest Friday night become another night out.
Having friends over is nice, but between that and the wonky schedule when social obligations come up or when I get home really late from work, my money management’s suffering. I’m starting to wonder if my arbitrary limit needs some evaluation. Should I be targeting a dollar amount per week instead of occurrences? Because I count Costco Dog Dinners as eating out – it’s prepared food.
If I were to be on a monthly dining out budget, I’d just have to be more prudent in a different way, and not limit the number of times I eat out so strictly. Is that better or will it just encourage me to feel like there’s more slack in the system? The grocery budget is already at a more than generous amount so I’m really wary of allowing more spending.
How do you keep your eating out to a minimum?
May 10, 2010
Since I have such major savings targets, I’ve morphed into a bit of a tightwad. (More than usual, yes.) And with the $5K/5K Challenge on now, I’m even more motivated to avoid unnecessary spending.
My iPhone cover is giving up the ghost.
I’m considering checking to see if they’ll do a partial replacement or just going without for a while because this cost $30 when I bought the iSkin revo two years ago. The visor is essential because if I’m using the phone without, there’s a 90% chance I’ll touch the screen and mute/hang up/do something else unintentionally. I’d rather not spend anything I don’t absolutely have to until I’ve regained some savings ground. Rechecking the site, the whole thing costs $20 now. Miiight be worth it.
I know I said I’d stop buying clothes, but does that include underthings?
I rather need a small round of replacements. Or is that a want? Hmm. Either way, I don’t want to spend the money. A single good quality bra that doesn’t fall apart is between $60-70. Or at least all my regular bras that cost less than $20 are in tatters. Just don’t want to spend that kind of money.
The netbook of my dreams starts at $1300.
It makes the $250 “sale” look like an incredible bargain. Again, holding back the credit card.
Shoes.
I hate shoe shopping. But I’ve about worn a hole into the soles of my Kate & Kelly flats because I walk everydangwhere to, at, and from work. I liked walking before but I dread it now that I’m in the company of people who think nothing of trotting (aka demon speedwalking) nearly 2 miles one way to catch their transportation. And then think I should come with them for business dinners. At this rate, I’m just going to have to wear sneakers with business trousers and that just looks wrong.
Another attempt at the Holy Grail bag, partial Fail.
I DID spend $38 on a new bag from Etsy. The order might have gone in on April, but I gotta pay the bill whenever the credit card comes due.
My beloved expensive leather bag that’s butter-soft, got all the pockets I need, and eminently waterproof weighs in at more than three pounds. After it’s loaded up, it’s unmanageably heavy and has been causing serious back and neck pain. I’ve picked out a new lightweight shoulder/cross body bag to get me through until I find a winter option. I hate having too many bags but it doesn’t make sense to destroy my body for the sake of money.
Since these are discretionary purchases, opting to wait is not cheating. What are you saying “not yet” to these days?
May 8, 2010
[Sadly, forgot to take pictures.]
A couple friends came to town last night and up until 6 pm, I wasn’t exactly sure if I was hosting a dinner or not. I got a call to expect dinner guests in an hour and a half, so then the scramble to pull together a good meal commenced.
The menu
Caprese salad
Broccoli, pasta, potato variation on Frugal Scholar’s Broccoli Garlic soup
Roasted chicken
Garlic and spinach
Red quinoa cooked in vegetable broth
Dessert: Pies in jars
That was the last of the pies in jars so it’s time to make up a new batch. (Musing: Did I buy any more flour? I did buy Granny Smiths but haven’t done a thing with them.)
I’ve got SO very much work to do this weekend that I’m all conflicted. I only see these friends a few times a year so obviously it’s important to spend time with them while they’re here. On the other hand, time is running out to get a number of freelance jobbies done and commitments must be honored. It’s just going to be another weekend of juggling!
Will someone out there have a restful Saturday for me?