About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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May 19, 2009
The comments over at GRACEful Retirement made me laugh a little. Many of the commenters were noting that they enjoy posts of all varieties whether they’re updeat or downtrodden, and that openness is why they enjoy reading blogs.
Not that I’m known for being terribly sunshiney, but posting has been sporadic lately because I just haven’t felt like showcasing my life’s warts and bruises. That’s not to say that what I have posted about has been untrue to what I’m up to, it’s just been more focused because I didn’t want to morph into the Boo-boo-blues Diaries.
But, a quick update on the topics I’ve been avoiding:
1. My family is still driving me crazy. The brother is still only randomly coming through with monthly payments and I’m regretting allowing him back under our roof. It’s not full-house access, but still. Egh. The need to Get Out is ever stronger, and the longer I’m around them, frustrated, the more strained our relationship becomes. And still watching my mom’s mental and physical health deteriorating … let’s just say I’m not dealing with that very well at ALL.
2. Six more weeks to freedom! [or, y’know. Unemployment, and all that that entails.]
3. I’m at very loose ends with regards to my financial goals….
3a. and have been online window shopping way too much. Partly out of boredom, partly because my stuff is wearing out. My go-to flats are nearly destroyed, and … I *need* a new dress for an event later this summer. It’s the last work-related shindig, and I don’t have anything suitable. Never mind that this layoff has zero to do with me or my abilities, not having a job lined up eats at my pride. A lot. [Not to mention, has me privately freaking out a good deal.] So you know, new dress, strong showing, pretend to all the people I’ve known for almost 5 years that I’m poised, confident and polished. Employable!
4. It’s not like not making plans for a few months is the end of the world, but it signals stagnation and boredom on my part. I’m stuck in a purgatory of searching for jobs and contacts, sending in apps, working the network, and coming up empty. Rinse and repeat.
Intellectually, I know I will be fine. I’ve saved, I’ve hunted jobs like a fiend, my reputation in the field is strong and as long as I wait 6 more weeks, I’ll be eligible for unemployment if it comes to that. I can even afford to take a few short vacations, during my down time, provided they’re not extravagant.
Constitutionally, though, it’s hard to go on faith for so long, even backed by a good sized emergency fund.
May 18, 2009
Finally home.
32 hours of this weekend were a bolus of driving and domesticity the likes of which will not be repeated for at least another month. Unless absolutely necessary.
BFF had her baby, and at two weeks and 9 lbs, he is the cutest dragon baby I’ve ever had the pleasure of cuddling. Opinions are divided as to whether it’s more of a dragon or dinosaur-like child, but I’m voting dragon. And Auntie Revanche drove 8 hours round trip to cook, clean, wash and fold for this child’s parents, so she’s entitled to a full vote!
After a 4 hours on the road Saturday, and a stop at the grocery store, I let the proud and sleep-deprived mommy get to changing yet another diaper while I rolled my sleeves up in their kitchen. They had their very own live cooking show, and her husband and our other friend were occasionally drafted as my sous chefs.
After almost four hours in the kitchen, I’m proud to say that Kevin’s Turkey Chili recipe [sans beans, plus multi-grain rice] was excellent. Likewise, his recipe for tilapia with pesto and roasted tomatoes was excellent and disappeared entirely. But the variation on the theme of Hainanese chicken and rice disappointed (me). We substituted a brown rice which was delicious, but I had to use deboned frozen chicken breast meat instead of a whole chicken, and probably used just a cup or two too much water when making the chicken stock. The rice was more moist than I prefer, but the chicken just wasn’t perfect.
Never mind, though. Having never made any of those recipes, two of three under pressure and in doubled quantities turning out well isn’t a terrible showing. [Clearly, I am no longer a perfectionist. Not after nearly 4 hours in the kitchen.] The point was to make decently cooked meals with enough leftovers for the Husband’s lunch and their dinners for at least a couple days. BFF is only just now able to get around a bit, so this should give her a chance to slowly ease into a more active routine.
Our visiting meant they were eating off real china for the first time in weeks since I was more than happy to deal with pots, pans, and dishes, three loads of laundry, and snapped 689 photos of baby.
I’d like to think we were exemplary house guests, for once. š
I split the cost of gas with Friend ($19), and paid for the groceries ($21). I got off lightly on the grocery front because they already had the frozen chicken and the turkey, so I only had to buy one protein of the three.
My reward was cuddling dragon baby during the movie after dinner, and darned if it wasn’t the most blissful two hours ever. He’s like a half puppy half baby right now the way he curls up in his sleep, and snuggles into your shoulder or neck. *sigh* Baby squeaks are irresistably darling. Can’t say I’d mind borrowing him once in a while if he stays this lovable. Though, I only think the crying is cute up to about a month old. Even the angry crying. After that, though, it’s a bit too loud.
May 15, 2009
You know, it’d be a lot easier to stay on the straight and narrow, the responsibility train, the sensible spending wagon if it weren’t for these jokers. Oh, I mean! lovely lady-friends on Twitter:
Actually, I tease. We’re all pseudo-enablers because we appreciate a few fine things in life, and I’m just now starting to be able to enjoy it a wee sma’ [that means “a little” if you’re not familiar with the Scottish] without worrying about being foolish about our money. My girls would rein each other in if we sensed impending spending disaster, right? Right? Girls?
And credit where it’s due, FB isn’t shy at all about what she wants. And Well-Heeled is a great sounding board for refining my style. And we’re all pretty good about analyzing potential suitors to a fare-thee-well for size, fit, appropriateness and overall awesomeness.
It’s thanks to my faith in them that I stepped in ’round Gilt Groupe for a look-see, and immediately fell in head over heels for some of the most gorgeous designs I could not, should not, luckily-missed-the-sale-entirely-so-would not, afford. Herve Leger, will you be mine forever?
The color combinations, the fabrics, the dangerously unforgiving fit, mmm! I’ll tell you what, I’m grateful as all get out that they were sold out of every single one by the time I arrived on the scene because I might have been flogged out of the PF blogosphere for egregious lack of judgment and utter abuse of rationalization.
But, look at them! Can you really, really blame me? [Pssst, yes. Say yes!]
Anyway. The sane part of me, and the wallet part of me, are both saying their Hail Marys that I didn’t get a crack at one of those dresses because I’m pretty sure the sale prices were around a neck-poppin’ $600. For those who care, one of them retails at $1590. Don’t care how much the discount is, $600 is still insane. So I can say when it’s no longer within my grasp.
*shaking head*
Alright, I think that’s gotten the swooning out of my system. Time to go pay some bills.
May 14, 2009
I’m trying to do way too many things at once:
Make travel arrangements for my friend’s high school reunion with only travel dates and no other information, while getting the best price and travel times;
Coordinate a visit to my new nevvie this weekend with another close friend;
That hideous bridesmaid dress has to go to a seamstress 30 miles away SOON.
All this mental chaos leads to my picking up my water bottle and trying to dial it with my left hand while holding the cell phone with my right hand.
In other news …….
* Recently contacted an attorney friend for a referral to an estate planning lawyer, though I said “will and trust” lawyer so as not to imply that I think I have lots of money. He asked for a list of assets and approximate value. Unexpectedly, I was reluctant to tell him. Maybe because I think I should have saved more for what I’ve made? Because I think I should have a bigger, rounder number? Who knows. Emotions are weird.
* I’d really like, if I ever had to replace or modify my eyesight, to have the ability to instantaneously evaluate potential parking spots and determine if they’re big enough. I hate pulling up next to a spot and calculating if I’m too big, or it’s too small and driving away disappointed.
* I miss sprouts. What’s wrong with sprouts that our cafeteria won’t carry them right now? Should I grow my own? Loved this how-to from guest poster Laura at Almost Frugal.
* Of course this is practically the most exciting thing I’ve read all day: Flexo’s post on the 2009 Federal Income Tax Brackets and Marginal Rates. I really like seeing the new tax brackets. Can’t wait to trot out new estimated taxes for my friend’s projected salary.
May 12, 2009
This is really 7 things you didn’t know about me. Different post! Abby of i pick up pennies tagged me for this meme, and since I so rarely open up to y’all *cough* I’m going along with it. Only because I have a batch of particularly weird thoughts this week.
1. I really want to train a dog to come meet me at the train station so I can walk him/her home on nice summer evenings. Walk with him or her, I guess, since a dog that well-trained wouldn’t really need a leash on the return trip. Except for the leash law thing.
2. I am surprisingly self-conscious about writing for an audience. *quirked brow* But once in a while, I turn out something that someone thinks is funny or entertaining and that’s a heady sip of writer’s champagne.
3. Growing up, I was surrounded by people who were smart, funny, weird, quirky, talented, caring, thoughtful and down to earth, or any combination thereof. Also, really mean, snarky, sarcastic, and occasionally petty as teenagers are wont to be, which means we were actually a decently well rounded set of personalities. As we were referred to as the “LA people” by my extended family, the first time I became acquainted with the stereotype that LA folks are shallow, superficial, and occasionally lacking in soul was about three years ago, and I had no idea what that looked like. Thanks to the “Housewives of … ” and other reality shows, now I do.
4. After 8 years of neighbordom, during which time I’ve always been old enough to drive, my lady neighbor still genially waves me over with a “go bounce” invitation to make use of whatever rented bounce house/castle/slide/donut they have up at the time. I’m guessing it’s her version of “hey, how ya doing?” because if she honestly thinks I’m still 13 now, I’m totally doing something wrong.
5. 5 years after graduation, I finally accept that keeping my literature books from college around will not also make me smarter or more literate. And that I’m really probably not going to read them again. Bye-bye, Ernest Hemingway, Henry James, and Chaucer. Fare thee well!
6. I was recently in the same room as former First Lady Nancy Reagan. She looks so tiny!
7. If it takes too long to dial a phone, I might forget what number I’m dialing, who I want to speak to, or why I was calling in the first place. My attention just wanders. One spectacular example of this was thankfully at a study group back in the day, “Hi, may I please speak to Sam? No, Fred! No! John? I’m sorry!”
When distracted, I forget where I am when I answer phones, too. “[insert name of former employer of 5 years ago], may I help … oh! errr … [insert name of current employer].” *sheepish*
Anyone want to tag themselves? Let me know and I’ll link back to you!
May 11, 2009
I love my current ride, which I did buy new, but I just don’t see myself doing that again. New cars are great but they mostly smell like big fat monthly payments, insane insurance premiums, and freaking out over every ding and dent. My car’s six years old and I still get mad every time I discover a new scratch. My nerves just can’t take this.
I discovered three new dents in the driver’s side door last weekend and my blood’s still boiling.
The older I get, the more I feel like I’d be happy with an older beater car, something about 10 or 15 years old with just basic amenities like heat, a/c, working locks and windows. Not just happy, happier. Happier that I can worry less about the car being stolen, broken into (I leave nothing of value in there), or vandalized. I could be totally wrong about that last, because if you’re parking in an iffy area, I doubt it matters what you drive. But again, if it were an old, properly functioning vehicle, that wasn’t worth too much, it probably wouldn’t matter as much as a $23k car, right?
Am I fooling myself, though? I’ve only ever driven a real beater car for a short time back in college when I was between cars and someone had gifted my brother a really old two-door Toyota circa 1980.
Blame it on a hazy memory, but it wasn’t that bad. I do hate manual windows because I can’t reach across the car and roll down the passenger side window, but also because my hands are the first to go when I’m having a bout with the disease. Then again, it’s not like I was stuck with it.
Perhaps I’m more willing to wear [a little of] my money than drive it. This is all hypothetical anyway. She’s on a 20-year contract, aka: I’m driving her until the wheels fall off, replacing them, and driving her some more. š
May 6, 2009
Has anyone else had a problem with their account aggregators of late? For the past 3 months, Yodlee has given me error messages for my ING and ED accounts and I’ve been growling at it under my breath. They finally told me that the contact was being limited at ING and ED’s end today. ING’s reply to my inquiry into the veracity of this statement:
I understand that you recently had an issue trying to connect to our website using Yodlee. This service is commonly referred to as an account aggregator. While this service may have worked in the past, most users are finding that their aggregator does not work with our New Sign In Process.
The security of your information is very important to us. Once your personal information leaves ING DIRECT, we have no control over your information or how it is used by third parties. Because we have no way of monitoring how account aggregators address security, privacy or the use of cookies we are unable to support the use of these services.
To best protect your personal information and your funds, we recommend that you do not share your personal information (including your Customer Number and PIN) with any third party.
Thank you,
XXXX
ING DIRECT USA
This pretty much infuriates me. Why did it take Yodlee this long to tell me what the real problem was? Why did I keep getting useless “we’re working on it” and “the problem has been resolved” messages?
And ING! And ED! Why do ING and ED get to arbitrarily decide that they’re not going to allow you to allow access to your own accounts?
I feel like I’m being flung back into the personal finance era of 2001 before I discovered account aggregation and had to sign into every single account manually.
I am not a happy ING Direct customer. Why can’t we have the choice about whether or not we’re going to share our personal information with a relatively secure third party? Is it my account or not?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
And while I’m on my soapbox about losing personal control to a faceless entity that “knows what’s best” for me:
This Reuters article about The End of Personal Finance really put my back up. Of course individuals can’t take care of, plan for, or be prepared for every single possible disaster in life, and expect to succeed. But to suggest that “personal finance” primarily consists of hot stock tips and therefore, personal responsibility was simply a pipe dream? *deep breath* And the implication that taking responsibility at all – under the “guise” of a misdefined personal finance – is actually usurping the “rightful role of the government?” That has me sputtering in outrage. Ridiculous.
The government is not our life-support parental unit! Heck, my actual parental units don’t expect to support me for the rest of my life, as well as my kids’ lives. And you bet that I’m disabusing brother of the notion that he’s got the right to that as well.
*grumble*
