About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
Read More
September 2, 2008
This weekend, I tried every which way to put together an outfit appropriate for making an excellent first impression in a business-casual encounter. Not for quite a formal Interview, call it a prelude to an interview sort of dealie. I wanted to establish a (preferably black) trouser, crisp button down shirt and belt combination as a go-to staple in my wardrobe.
Unfortunately, my attempts to look sharper at work on a daily basis have reduced my best black pants to second-best. They’re still nice, but they’ve lost that sharp, crisp look that gives off *professional* so well. Alas, they’re a bit worn. That’s what happen, y’understand, when you actually wear things on a regular basis and possibly also when you’re most frequently shopping bargain bin. At my size, bargain bin and quality don’t always go hand in hand.
In my frustration, I groused to a dude friend about the pants I didn’t think would be tailored quickly enough, and he convinced me to go shopping.
Macys, I decided. Macys would have a grand Labor Day Sale and I was armed with a coupon and gift card. To Macys!
To Macys we went, and seven pairs of trousers later, my attention span somewhere between my heel and the tiger bandaid on my foot to fend off a threatening blister, I was about to give up. I had, for once, been smart enough to wear heels of the approximately appropriate height that would normally be worn with the pants. Smart, I say! Except my feet were tired within twenty minutes and being somewhat less of a shopping maven as, say, my dude friend, I was ready to give up. He refused to hear anything of it, “we haven’t even gotten started!” and chivvied my lazy bum out to the next stores.
Le sigh.
It was a good job he did though because we hit the jackpot at Ann Taylor Loft. I only had a $30 gift card there, but I found three pairs of pants, all 00P, and promptly sent him to scour the sales racks while I found the dressing room. Had not yet gotten my hopes up since the price tag I saw was $79, when I tried on the first pair and my jaw dropped. They FIT. Perfectly. Seriously, they fit absolutely perfectly. Waist, length, tush, rise, everything. The only possible objection was that the fabric looked like a softer, heavier cottony material, instead of that more coarse, crisp polyester blend that’s commonly accepted as the more professional look. It also buttoned across the front, so it didn’t have belt loops. The next pair was the preferred material, and just about a perfect fit as well. It turned out they were the $79 pair, though, and for more than eighty dollars after tax, I’d like to see some lining in the pants. The first pair were *only* $60, machine washable, ever so comfortable and once again: fit perfectly.
I bought them immediately. So, chalk one up as a win for the wardrobe, and a $30 hit to the pocketbook. Overall? No blister = a good day.
Caveat: I would normally never advocate the immediate, impulse purchase of a nonsale item, but … it happens. And it happens more often because the good quality 00P sizes don’t occur very frequently in nature. This is an unfortunate, incontrovertible fact. I promise to take very good care of them.
P.S. I suck. There was a printable 20% coupon online valid this weekend. Drat. Should have checked before I left.
September 1, 2008
| Retirement Savings |
Rollover IRA: $1,452
Roth IRA: $3,779
401(a): $4,810
403(b): $16,045
Total: $26,086 (25,670)
|
| Emergency Savings |
Catastrophe: $18,547 (18,521)
Problem Cushion: $0
|
| Short Term Goals |
Car Maintenance: $953
Car Insurance: $604
Travel/Con: $406
Taxes: $3,474
Moving: $15
Total: $5,452 (5,582)
|
| Long Term Goals |
House Down Payment: $100
|
| Investment Loans |
Prosper-ish: $12,630
Personal Loan: $5,000
Savings Bond: $357 (current accrued value)
Total: $17,997
|
| Total Assets |
Non-Liquid: $26,086
Semi-Liquid: $17,997
Liquid: $18,547
Expense Acct: $1,693
Goals Savings: $5,452
Total: $69,775 (67,412)
|
| Debt and Liabilities |
Truck: $3,909
Citi: $429
Chase: $397
Rent: $1,360
Total: $6,095
|
| Net Worth |
$63,680 (61,095)
|
— Up 4% —
As usual, my retirement accounts are barely maintaining, and only thanks to continuous contributions, and the great 10% match from my employer.
The insurance company only paid for my deductible and hasn’t reimbursed me for the other $300+ part of the auto bill, so I need to follow up with them tomorrow, but the returned $1000 was a very welcome addition to the expense account.
I’m happy that I still have not had to dig into the emergency fund for any reason at all, and can’t wait to make more substantial contributions to the moving fund. I should be due for an extra dollop of income thanks to all the overtime I’ve been pulling, and happily, they’re actually paying the correct amount of overtime. It’s complicated.
August 28, 2008
BF and I are having a major difference of opinions and I’ve a bit of turmoil about it. In an nutshell? He’s ready for marriage, and I’m not. The point is being pressed because there’s a possibility that I may be, for a number of reasons, required to make some significant life changes and the idea that this LDR may be indefinitely LD is distressing to him.
The uncertainty is distressing to me as well, but the idea of dropping my career mid-stride to move to the Bay without any job prospects or direction just to marry him now that he’s ready to start a family is not palatable either. I don’t oppose the idea of starting a family, and certainly don’t oppose the idea of starting it with him, but even without considering the current upheaval that I’m navigating, it’s unreasonable to be upset/impatient with me because I’m not on the same timetable.
We’re a number of years apart, and I’m simply not ready to make that commitment before I’m actually ready.
I’ve got to take another step on my career path; there are things I want to accomplish that may take me away from where he’s based and while an LD BF is workable, I definitely don’t want to have an LD husband!
Limiting myself to NorCal in finding a challenging and rewarding job is daunting when my industry is most concentrated on the East Coast.
Besides the practical considerations, I need at least a year to re-establish myself and get my bearings outside of a highly toxic and discriminatory environment; I’ve lost my balance in a lot of ways and I’ve got entirely the wrong mentality to be starting a stressful new phase of a relationship.
Don’t get me wrong: I want marriage, and I want kids — eventually. And I definitely want my pets and my financial security and all of that. But I don’t want to jump the gun on marriage, especially not job and prospect-less, because I don’t want to start my marriage resentful and insecure in not pulling my own weight in the relationship.
I’m having flash-forwards to being alone in a strange city years from now, having pursued career instead of family and finding myself unhappy with both. Alternatively, I’m seeing myself in the apartment, jobhunting and depressed, but married. There’s a middle road, somewhere, I just know there is.
This, too, shall pass. Right?
August 27, 2008
*looking around*
Is it really Wednesday? The last Wednesday of the month? Already?
Geez.
I feel like it’s been ages since I last blogged, and it’s probably due to the action-packed-ness of life. Let’s see. When we last met … oh, that was yesterday? Good grief!
Well, since yesterday I’ve:
~ discovered that I would need to make 81% more money than I do now to be “equally comfortable” in New York.
~ forced myself to go to a networking event in the downtown area (I hate driving in downtown, especially during high traffic), exchanged business cards with two people, and got out of the scary dark neighborhood safely.
~ met with NY friends who were in town for a couple days, and recommended that they try public transportation to get back to the airport. Happy to report that went smooth as silk, and they enjoyed not sitting in traffic greatly.
Spending since Friday?
~ we had a mandatory work event on Saturday so I combined a help-a-coworker-out situation with the work event so we could carpool part of the way: + saved on a little gas.
~ went to tea with a coupla the gals: – $14
~ visited a comic shop: priceless (and I didn’t spend anything): $0
~ bought ten pounds of pork shoulder ribs (that’ll last our family a good while, we cook it various ways and I like pork): – $10
~ did my “home”work at Borders: free air conditioning! and made money, of course.
~ brother actually paid a bit of money towards household bills: + $100
~ missed a friend’s 21st birthday party because my train was late: $0
~ went to the networking event at a bar: $0
~ went to another bar afterwards to meet up with my friends: $4 for a burger I bought before getting TO the bar. Tacky? Only if the staff were around. We hung out on the patio after 10 when drinks were no longer allowed outside so there were no witnesses, and their kitchen was closed by the time I got there anyway.
My car is being a brat and celebrating our fifth year together by falling apart in tiny ways:
1. The auto lock on the driver’s side doesn’t work.
2. The window on the passenger’s side doesn’t work.
3. The “cabin” light switch needs strange toggling to work.
4. The heater went out this morning.
August 26, 2008
I ran the numbers on Salary.com to compare the cost of living expenses and the salary figures between where I’m living now and NYC. I can’t figure out how to black out the personal data to show you the graphic, so you’ll have to take my word for it.
The cost of living was calculated to be 81.1% higher in NYC, so I would have to make at least six figures to maintain my current standard of living. (Of course, all the calculator asked for was my current salary, so it assumes I’ve got a pretty decent life, without dependents, I guess.)
Their assessment of the typical salary, for the same type of job and same type of company, stated that NY employers pay about 6.1% more than my employers in my city. Again, the calculator is likely limited in scope and accuracy because it doesn’t address the industry, type of job, or anything in detail.
Still, it’s a sobering thought that I’d need a 50% raise to earn what passes for the same standard of living as I have here.
August 25, 2008
For about five minutes, I imagined several things that would totally rock:
1. Seeing a zero balance on the dratted truck payment. Yes, it’s still around. Yes, it’s a terrible time to be selling a truck. I think my best bet at this point is to continue trying to sell it, but if I can’t, I’ll just have a paid-off truck with really low gas mileage for sale about a year or two from now. If the gas prices cooperate at all, that is. In the meantime, just getting it off the monthly expenses? Awesome.
2. If the ticket voucher from United had NOT been restricted to the 48 contiguous. I’d take that month of vacation, ideally half the time and the other half in money, and spend two weeks in Hawaii. I’d use hotel points for as much of that time as possible, of course, and we have family friends (and I think I have family there too) that I could possibly spend some time with. Whatever. Two weeks in Hawaii coasting on vacation time. That’d be awesome.
3. (utterly burning my bridges) Walking out. Uh, yes I know, totally not classy. But if I could say what I wanted to say? Do what I wanted to do with no regrets and no repercussions? Ahhh …. sweet. That’d be awesome.
4. Landing a dream gig, preferably on this coast, but I’ll take the East Coast as well. That’d be awesome.
What would your five minutes of That’s Awesome! dreaming look like?
August 22, 2008
This quote from Michael Phelps in the Festival of Frugality over at Four Pence Worth really resonated with me:
“Back in the winter, at 5.30am, when I didn’t want to get up and train on some cold and dark morning I’d still make myself snap on the light and look inside my swimming cap. ‘Athens’ is stitched on the inside. I’d get up then. I’d grab my bag and head for the pool. I’ve been doing that 365 days – year after year. I can’t remember the last day I didn’t train. Thanksgiving, Christmas Day, New Year’s Day. I haven’t missed one of ‘em for years. And every single day I got that word, Athens, running right round my head.”
It’s not that I have training to do, and I’m certainly not headed for anything so incredible as competing in the Olympics, but I definitely suffer from I-hate-mornings-itis. And you know what? A visual reminder to combat my hatred of getting up could be just the ticket to get my cranky, sleep-deprived self out of bed. And, eventually, to better utilize those early hours in pursuit of career development. It’s such a small, simple thing to do, for such great dividends. And more, though I am intrinsically motivated and driven 98% of the time, even I can get disheartened and lose focus over time.
I need to program a message to myself on my phone to accompany my morning alarms.
