About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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March 12, 2008
There are so many reasons to pf-hate on the iPhone, from the outrageous price tag on the phone itself, to the mandatory data component of the rate plan, to the horrible customer service that only operates during mostly regular business hours. (Whaaaat? I pay you HOW much a month for you to give me an automated message about calling back on Monday?? Please! T-mobile had 24 hour customer service and I mean, they had customer service!) And they charge me in advance for each billing cycle! I mean, T-mobile didn’t send me a bill for the month of February until February was over. Don’t bill me for service you haven’t given yet!
Hands down, the worst of it is the basic plan, with only 200 text messages and 450 minutes for $60/month. (I’m using the internet as much as possible to get my $20/month out of it, dangit, so much so that I’m charging once or twice a day! Hah! Force unlimited internet service on me, will you? Though, really, checking your email as often as I do can’t be healthy.)
After exploring a few options, there didn’t seem like there was anything I could do but pay the extortionists. My company has a corporate relationship with AT&T, but when I searched the AT&T site before, any information available was fairly vague, and implied that iPhones weren’t eligible. Maybe I was just misreading. I certainly didn’t encounter the link that I found today: the Discount Registration link that teases you with the possibility of a discount, but never tells you how much the discount is, or what rate plans qualify. The site just takes some personal information to process a validation, and then says:
Please note that to the extent you are eligible for a service discount*, it may take up to two billing cycles (up to two months) for your service discount to appear on your bill. During the first month your service discount is applied, you might receive a pro-rated bill for the days of that month before the discount was applied, and a new bill for the days at the discounted rate.
* Service discounts are available only with qualified rate plans. Service discount is provided solely as a result of the business agreement with your organization and is subject to change or termination without notice to you. Other restrictions may apply.
They sure are cagey about whether or not I qualify, and what exactly I’m qualifying for! Anyway, my fingers are crossed that it’s a decent discount, and I could just kick myself for not finding this the first time around because my first bill was easily the most expensive ever at a shade over $100.
Cross your fingers for me that I see something on the very next billing cycle! Er, is it too much to hope that they’ll apply it to the billing cycle that’s already calculated? Yeah, no. They’re too cheap for that. They won’t even apply it to a full cycle if they can help it, what with that pro-rated ish going on up there. Hmph.
March 11, 2008
I started this a while ago, but am only just now posting it. Sorry!
E.C. has a dilemma: she needs a dress for a wedding, and would really like to look nice, but she definitely has a budget. I’m don’t know what the dollar amount is, but as I feel a tad bit guilty for posting about my American Apparel dress that was not on sale, and out of her price range, I’ve decided to put together a post to try to help her out.
What are my qualifications? Well, I’m no fashionista, but ever since graduating from college, I’ve needed at least six to twelve dresses per year for work events. They aren’t business dress, nor are they casual. I suppose you could call it a “posh-casual” style. While I can, and do, recycle dresses over the years, I still needed a baseline of about 12 dresses because I see the same people over and over as a representative of my company. Since I love the simplicity of a dress with no fuss, and really suck at accessorizing to make the same outfits look new, I’ve had to become a bit of a dress ninja.
The goal: I love a classy, low-CPW dress but since I’ve always had a restrictive clothing budget, I rarely spend up to $40 on a “casual” dress, even factoring in the extreme difficulty I have in finding any clothing that fits with only minor or no alterations. I define casual as anything that’s not a formal, bridesmaid dress. So these are my suggestions for where to hunt down a wedding appropriate dress under $30. Of course, this is no “look for less” post; I’m a proponent of paying as little as possible for a dress, not spending up to the budget! 🙂
American Apparel: If you check out their sale section, they have that same bandeau jersey dress in what they call “sheer.” Since I don’t know what that means (if it’s … transparent? That wouldn’t be good.) I would call them and ask exactly how sheer is sheer. It’s only $15, but I think they only have XL left, and I don’t know what size you are, or how their sizes run.
If that doesn’t work for you, and you have the following options, I would go to: Ross, Marshall’s, Forever 21, Macy’s.
Ross: Comb through Ross, spend no more than 15 to 20 minutes and only look at dresses. Don’t look at anything else! They generally have a dress section for juniors, but range out of that area because the good stuff travels out.
My best bargain: I found what I call my “date dress.” A minor, amateur alteration to it later, voila! A lovely V-neck purple/red dress with a light pattern of flowers that looks painted on at the bottom, very subtle, for five dollars. That was a lucky find, but it’s worth the effort of checking their selections because I’ve worn it at least a dozen times to weddings and on dates.
Marshall’s: I actually have not personally found anything here, but I know Single Ma swears by their deals, so I had to include it on the list. Again, if you’re a more normal size than I, I guarantee that you’ll have better luck than I have.
Forever 21: Not knowing your sizes, I can’t be sure that this store won’t just frustrate you, but I’ve found that their sizes range quite a bit more now. I used to fit a small there, but now a lot of times I need the XS. It’s variable. Go straight to the dress section, and rifle through. As long as you have your focus directly on dress for wedding, you should be able to eliminate most of the inappropriate/trendy stuff very quickly.
My best bargain: a gold knee-length tube dress with a bit of a sweetheart neckline that I tried on just for kicks, and was shocked to find that I loved it. It ran a little higher than I liked at $27.80, but the almost tapestry fabric made it look very classy, and it’s been worn at least 6 times, also to wedding receptions and banquets. I suggest giving vibrant colors, or unique fabrics a try-on just to see, you might find that you like it a lot more than you expect.
Macy’s: Try prowling the junior’s dress sale section. Don’t waste your time on any of the regular price stuff, and keep a sharp eye out for coupons to combine with the sale. In fact, I should still have an extra 11% off coupon I can send you, if you think you’ll use it.
My best bargain: I found a white and blue halter dress, a very sundress sort of thing, for only $14.99 last summer. Again, it was just in the clearance/sale section, and I didn’t even have a coupon.
I would post pictures and deals from the website, but honestly I find that the selection and prices are always better in-store.
March 10, 2008
As I said yesterday, I gave myself permission to have fun this weekend, and to start developing different habits.
Over the past several years, I’ve been overly responsible and highly critical of myself because I still haven’t resolved any long-term problems. Recognizing and admitting that I have limits was very difficult to do, but having done so, I’ve been working on some ways to incorporate actual living into my life and stop using my obligations as an excuse to hide in the BatCave that is my room. I intend to make these changes healthy habits, a few steps at a time!
A look at my typical week generally reveals that I: work, eat, read and sleep. Stress, work, eat, sleep. Rinse and repeat. When Friday rolls around, I go home, heaving a sigh of relief for Saturday mornings, and hide in my room from human interaction. Saturday mornings mean sleeping in and running errands or household chores most of the day. Again, hide from human interaction in the evening. Sundays might require more errands, perhaps more hiding. There’s not a whole lot of scope for say, fun or pleasure.
To change that, I have to change both why and when I get in my own way of having fun.
First, understand that having fun isn’t a zero-sum game. You can have fun, be frugal, and responsible.
Cost: I’m not sure yet, maybe approximately $20/week?
Second, the weekend is a pretty darn good time to do that, instead of working.
Cost: No OT income, but we’re very limited there right now anyway.
Third, I have a terrible habit of taking on extra responsibilities. Every time someone has a problem, runs short of money, can’t do their job, or is having a bad day, I always run to bail them out. No more. I’m going to wait to see if they really need my help, or if they just needed a shoulder, some advice, or nothing at all and are able to handle it themselves.
I’m not bailing out my brother anymore, and stand firm in my conviction that he needs to work out his problems that he’s created in his life.
My parents need to support themselves more, both for their sanity and dignity, and so I’m going to stop jumping to pay for every single thing, and allow them to carry as much of their own weight as they feel able. While my past actions were justified, ie: putting their credit card debt in my name because they didn’t qualify for 0% BT cards, I rarely looked for a better solution than just doing it myself. There wasn’t always one, but there might have been. I just didn’t look before, so I’m looking now.
I’ve taken the familial responsibilities and limited their effects on my life, and have to accept that they’ll remain very present in my daily life, but I don’t have to feel guilty that I’m not doing more. I’ll just do what I can, while still taking time out for me.
On Saturday, because I don’t want MaDucky driving, I used the morning to run my errands, and added her grocery list to my to-do list. Also, since PaDucky has started working some very long hours, I dropped off his lunch so that she wouldn’t have to. After that, the day was mine.
It’s been about 8 weeks since my last haircut, so it was more than time to get groomed. I made plans to spend two hours at the hair school (responsible), a bit of time with a friend in the area (fun), a couple hours at a free art gallery opening reception also in the area (fun), and plans to go out dancing with my friends and coworkers (more fun!).
Cost: $20, gas
$14, haircut
$0, art gallery
$5, parking in Chinatown
Coworker’s friend unexpectedly jumped to order and pay for our drinks as soon as we got to the bar, and we also chose a place with no cover charge, so I didn’t even spend the $20 that I budgeted.
Fourth, a couple hours of dancing was great exercise, and a pointed reminder that I’m woefully out of shape. We’ve made plans to go out next weekend because another coworker wanted to join us, and we’ll observe the same criteria: no cover, carpool if possible to avoid excessive parking fees, just one or two drinks.
Fifth, my friend, a massage therapist, has begun to come down once a week on Sundays to work on MaDucky and me. I opted to allocate a LOT of money for my FSA this year, and I wanted to make sure that I was getting use from that fund throughout the year, rather than waiting until the last second and buying 300 bottles of Tylenol. We’ll do weekly sessions for about two months, and taper off to twice a month, probably. Because she operates independently and she’s a good friend, she only charges us $80 for two 1-hour sessions. MaDucky is already starting to feel the benefits after one and a half sessions, and it’s great help in my quest to stop carrying all my stress in my neck and shoulders. That also means that my sleep will become much more restful. Win win win!
Cost: Paid for by FSA.
Sixth, my memory is starting to rejoin the cast of Mind, Body and Spirit here, and that means I’m slowly remembering my kung fu forms. I’m making it a point to work through them at least a few times a week.
Cost: Free!
March 9, 2008
Thank you all for your encouragement and support these past couple of days. I know I’ve been on an uncharacteristically lengthy binge of unhappy and depressing news. While one weekend of attempted rejuvenation won’t undo all the emotional and physical distress, I’m going to view this as a sign that I need to make some changes to better cope with the sandstorms of life. This is the beginning of a journey towards a healthier, more-together me.
I took care of a lot of business on Friday and then gave myself permission to relax the rest of the weekend. Then actually went out and did it. Check it out ….
First, the bank charges? Will have to eat them. I called, and Wamu’s new policy is that they’ll only waive one set of fees per year. Thanks to the fiasco I might not have blogged about in January, wherein my mom cashed checks against my account, her employer screwed up and stop paymented those checks when they meant to stop payment other checks they’d mistakenly duplicated, which meant Returned Item fees, I’m out of luck. Sadly, had I consulted the crystal ball, I would have paid that $20 charge and gotten the refund on this much more substantial $60 set. *sigh* No more bank errors allowed!
Second, I made the first of a few e-fund to expense fund transfers last week, but on second and third look, my math does not actually work. The plan was to transfer the total amount of money I’d need that week, and continue on a weekly basis. Except, the bill total and transferred total do not match. I have no idea what I was thinking, but I need to recalculate the amounts in my checking account and the past week’s transaction history to unravel my mistake. Hmmm….. otherwise I’m just going to transfer exact amounts from here on out, and not worry if I’ve accidentally left a cushion in the checking account. Losing interest on a couple hundred dollars is nothing compared to overdraft charges that I didn’t see coming.
Third, we buried my dog. He passed away at home, so I didn’t have to take him to the vet after all. My last dog seems to realize she’s an only child now, and is a little more willing to be in the house with people than she ever was before.
Fourth, I fixed the flat and got an oil change for under $75 dollars. In fact, once I submit the $10 rebate for the oil change, taking the $30 charge to $20, the total will be a whopping $52 for both services, and they qualify as valid charges for Driver’s Edge Options Redemptions. I can finally redeem some of those credits! I only have $80 worth, but it’s still great to have something paid for by rebates.
Fifth, I’ve been making rookie mistakes in choosing the right credit card to pay with lately, and that’s unusual. To help my discombobulated brain, I’m sticking a green star on the card I should be using for all regular purchases. Looks silly, but if it works, I don’t care.
Sixth, the sedan’s out of the shop. Now I just need to get my car’s repairs taken care of, and the truck is no longer necessary to substitute for the regular cars.
Seventh, the bills for the week are paid. Nothing but the rent to worry about this week.
Things Left to Do:
Grocery shopping (tomorrow)
Call Verizon and change the credit card they automatically bill
Call the insurance and make arrangements for my car to be fixed
Decide if I want to go see BoyDucky this or next weekend (I’d use an award ticket)
Continue to wonder why I still haven’t seen a bill for my Early Termination Fee from T-Mobile, but do nothing about it (that includes getting stressed about it)
Call the city and find out why they’re billing me for more than one trash bin when we only use one
March 7, 2008
Apparently, the bad day wasn’t going to end with the overdraft fees.
Coworker 3 got really sick yesterday and didn’t have a ride home, so I left the office at the same time to give him a lift from the train station.
An hour after I’d dropped him off at home and my dad off at work, I headed to Wamu to deposit some checks that I’d just gotten. And I was using the additional ATM around a dark corner of the bank building, which is creepy enough, when some guy came and stood directly behind me where I couldn’t see him, instead of standing in line where you’re supposed to around the corner. And the Wamu card in my wallet was expired. I took that, and the creepy guy behind me, as a sign to just get out of there.
Only to discover that my mom had gotten another flat tire driving my car. This is the second one in two weeks, the SIXTH one in two years.
Had to go home, pick up the right card, and head back out to other Wamu in town.
And at the less creepy drive-up ATM, the first of my three checks were deposited, and the other two were rejected because I’d “reached my daily limit.” ???? There’s a limit on how many deposits I can make??? I got really hot, but it was almost 8 pm by then, and there was nothing I could do except yell at the machine. So I did. At least I’d deposited the checks in order from greatest to smallest amounts, so it covered the overdrafted amounts and then some.
Finally, upon getting home, I discovered that my old puppy is just failing. He’s not eating anymore, and I’m going to have to make the appointment to take him in to the vet. For you know what. Just thinking it is breaking my heart.
I know I’m not defeated, but it sure feels like it.
At least today’s another day.
March 6, 2008
Two overdraft charges! (I add that exclamation point because I would normally be outraged, but I’m just so tired that I feel utterly dragged down instead.) I just logged onto Yodlee and found one overdraft charge on my main WAMU account, and logged into WAMU to find the second one.
On Sunday, I logged into the car financing site to pay the car note, and even though I remember clicking on the dropdown menu to choose Checking Account #2, which had money in it, they withdrew the money out of Checking Account #1, which did not. I don’t have any way of proving this, and it’s possible I could have really made the mistake myself. The money was withdrawn two days ago, on a particularly trying day, so I hadn’t even logged into Yodlee to check on the status of my accounts. So, one $30 charge.
On top of that, the check I wrote for massage therapy over the weekend was deposited the next day, yesterday, and I missed that completely because there was more than enough money to cash that check. Just not the first, unexpected one. Another $30 charge.
Given the compound stresses of the past six months, and my only just now beginning to deal with them, I think my financial home is beginning to topple because I simply have not concentrated on the million and one things that need tending to. This could have just been a stupid error, but I don’t think I would have made that mistake if I weren’t so distracted by all the things going wrong.
It’s an indication of my fussed mental state that I’m just transferring a large chunk of money from the efund to the overdrawn account and not even dwelling on how to fight for that money back or even on the effects of that stupid mistake.
March 5, 2008
During Little Boss’s absence, I raised an insurrection.
Wait, no, I mean I instituted a fitness plan for the office to work off some of our stress and unhealthy, sedentary habits. We have a terrible habit of eating all day, all the time, at our desks or in the conference room, and just not getting any exercise in or out of the office.
Coworker 1 is the only one who goes to a yoga class regularly. The rest of us are out-of-shape slobs. For Coworkers 2 and 3, I’ve been manning the office while they play tennis in the courts behind our office building. They may not manage much of a rally, but definitely work up a sweat and felt great within a day or two of starting to play. Coworker 3 reports that his rocks of shoulder muscles are loosening up on their own!
Since I can’t play tennis (the arthritis objects), I’d been taking two or three very five-minute breaks throughout the day to do a little kung fu. My kicks were starting to go all over the place, though, and I think that I was starting to practice bad habits because my muscles are still sad and weak, so I stopped and tried something different last week: Monopolized the conference room for about 25 minutes, combining my two 15 minute breaks that I never take, put on some motivational music, and worked through the beginnings of a few forms. It doesn’t require anyone to hold a kicking pad for me, or any company except when I forget the next step in the form. To stave off that frustration, friend K provided some YouTube links of some classmates doing parts of the form, and I get wireless in the conference room, so voila! I have music, reminder video clips if necessary, and a little room to get my blood going. My back was sore for days afterward.
Today, I tried using the tennis courts behind the office building and I like that a little better. It’s a bit exposed, but I get lovely sunshine and more room. No more running into walls for me!