About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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February 3, 2008
If I weren’t already completely impressed by the familial legacy my Grandma left behind, the early tidbits I’ve heard about her funeral so far would pretty much wrap that up.
Over a thousand people descended on her farm in a tiny village to pay their respects within a 24 hour period. Whole families from out of town came, despite the tradition of sending one or two family representatives to long distance services. My poor relatives were run ragged! I have a sneaking suspicion that even more would have come from out of the country had the funeral not been scheduled so quickly.
The near equivalent of a Bishop in the religion she observed came from the big city to deliver a eulogy and chant absolution-type prayers.
It’s good to have a little *confirmation* that a great many other people, not all her relatives, loved and respected her.
February 2, 2008
12 hours ago, I missed my grandma’s funeral. I couldn’t attend because it all happened so very fast — my family in Vietnam wanted to have everything taken care of before the Lunar New Year, and they’d been overrun by hundreds of people wanting to pay their respects day and night.
Grandma was an immensely practical woman, and I can’t help but think that this is probably what she wanted: efficient proceedings, and not to have her kids and grandkids in America to rush back to her funeral. She knew that everyone worked hard to make ends meet and that, many times, meant we couldn’t afford to go back as often as we liked to see her. I regret that. I regret the lost time and experiences and stories we could have shared if only we were geographically closer.
That’s not to say that many sacrifices weren’t made to see her. Over fifteen years ago, my parents charged thousands of dollars on credit cards to send us kids to meet our Grandpa before he passed, and again a couple more times to visit and get to know her before it was too late. It took them years to pay those bills off at a time when they were struggling to launch their business, and markedly affected the already numerous obstacles they faced as first generation immigrants. They never told her the dirty details, I didn’t know for years, but she probably knew and respected my parents for giving us time together at great personal cost.
In that light, I realize that the thousands of dollars of debt I paid for them during college was nothing compared to the memories I wouldn’t have if not for their willingness to take on debt for the important things in life. I didn’t resent doing it at the time, but now I better understand some of the factors that contributed to the debt and appreciate that they knew that there are times you forget the money and be with your family.
What they gave me, knowledge of and a relationship with my Grandma, is absolutely priceless. There will be nothing more important, nothing more honored, in my memory than the sight of her smile when she first saw her two stranger grandkids from America coming up the drive, bounding out of the car through the red mucky clay that serves for dirt to fold our arms and say Hi Grandma! in the traditional Vietnamese greeting. I can’t even remember if we hugged her, I just remember her enormous grin.
Knowing about the woman and her steel core from Dad’s stories simply pales next to meeting her, seeing her iron control over her farm even through her eighties and matriarchal influence over her family. She was a wonderful woman, and you never crossed her because she was invariably right, and never failed to point out right from wrong. There was never a doubt, in anyone’s mind, that she always did the right thing whether or not it was difficult, profitable, or less than advantageous. Right was right, and that’s all there was to it. How could I not hero-worship someone like that? Someone who you’d expect to be resented for being a woman from the early 1900s, completely unafraid to speak her mind, and devoted to seeing things done right, well, and up to her standards by everyone around her? She wasn’t dictatorial, but even the Americans and Viet Cong respected her during the war, and we know the old adage that war respects no one. From across the ocean, I had and have much to learn from my Grandma, and I’m so grateful that I got to know her.
I’ll miss her greatly.
January 31, 2008
My grandma passed away yesterday. I may or may not be rushing back to Vietnam for the funeral, if we can make it.
Hence, the lack of post.
January 29, 2008
As of yesterday, the 3000 bonus Thank You points and the 2500 American Air miles were credited to my rewards accounts. That brings the total in both accounts to 28 thousand and change, strangely.
I’ve gone ahead and cancelled the CitiBusiness American Air card because that annual $75 price tag is still not worth it, on second thought.
I’m pretty sure that I need to cancel my CitiBusiness Premier Pass card soon because that annual fee ($75) was just charged and I have another card with which to earn 2% back on all purchases for a year.
RX: Three days of unscheduled time, one planned dinner, approximately two-mile walks each day, and quiet conversation.
I’m back at work after three days of good quality time with BoyDucky, our first since September, and boy! I feel GOOD. The exercise was great in the crisply, briskly blowing winds, and the company was excellent. Our jokes about Tony Little’s Gazelle, were later echoed, to our delight, in the movie Juno. At first I feared Juno would be another Running with Scissors because I’ve been living under a Drama Rock and haven’t seen any previews, but thankfully, it was really entertaining. It rather exquisitely balanced the serious against the ridiculous. I don’t mean to knock Running with Scissors, it just wasn’t the funny we were in the mood for at the time.
On Sunday, we visited our couple friends with two kiddies, the idea of which appealed off and on when we were talking about weekend un-plans, and I’m glad we did. We were impromptu babysitters while they cooked up the breakfast foods we brought over, and then played with the kids for a couple more hours. Playing with the kids was my strength training for the day, it was a little hard on my hands and wrists, honestly, and then we took another looooong walk.
Monday was our lunch, movie and window shopping day. As I said, we saw Juno and loved it. We wandered around the downtown area for a bit, drove to the next town’s downtown and wandered around window shopping there. Inevitably, I suppose, I used part of BoyDucky’s gift card to buy two work shirts on sale at Banana Republic ($12, reg. price $34 and $15, reg. price $44). I’ll give him part of my gift card, since I’d just left my wallet at home especially to discourage spending. *sigh* Seriously, self control, anyone?? 😛
At least it was using gift cards. The red camisole is an addition to my suit rotation – I only have about 4 shirts that are suitable (heehee, “suitable”) and the plum shrug top will be my third professional top. I have a distinct lack of tops that look like they’re meant for business attire, as I trend towards more casual, layering pieces. It’s fine for my office, but not so when I have business conferences. We’ve got this trip to Las Vegas coming up in February, and it would behoove me to start preparing the wardrobe. Hm, I’ll need to factor in dry cleaning my suit into the budget next month! Aish.
I’m proud that we got out and about so much considering the cold and rain. The weather made me extremely hibernatory, especially after the walks, but it was well worth it. Financially, we did pretty well. I remembered to take care of a few bills and deposits while there, we didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on a getaway, and instead of ordering wine at our special dinner, we went home and opened our bottle of anniversary Riesling from last year’s trip to Napa. We enjoyed the 2005 Potter Valley from Chateau Montelena with some leftover dessert cheese, bread and walnuts.
It’d be lovely if this sort of weekend wasn’t a once a year phenomenon.
January 26, 2008
’tis the passing of an era.
We’ve finally come up on the end of the year for the doomed-by-a-loan 0% BT. The money I worked so hard to hoard in anticipation of this moment is on its way, via a Citibank transfer, to close out that ill-fated transaction.
I have thirty dollars and fifty cents left from interest payments to show for it all.
Since money from my high interest savings account was just defraying the overall cost of the loan, I’m glad that I’ve closed that chapter in my financial life and am ready to move on. The credit line might be transferred to another card, and I might do another BT for myself, ALL for myself this time. Ahh, freedom from debt, I love it!
January 25, 2008
My insurance ship has come in! The removal of BroDucky from the insurance has resulted in a massive savings of $680 for this policy term.
That means that not only I’m finally only paying approximately $100/month, per person, I’ve already paid half the premium in a single payment. If I keep this up, I can work my way towards only making two auto insurance payments per year.
Yippee!