About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
Read MoreJanuary 2, 2008
I had to use 25,000 miles for BD’s short haul flight the weekend of the wedding that would normally only “cost” 15,000 miles, but the trade-off is almost $200 that BD can put towards paying down his debt, so it’s worth it.
Ya hear that, BD? $196 —> debt repayment! š
(Just kidding, he doesn’t actually read this.)
January 1, 2008
Most shops are closed today, New Year’s Day, and I’ve already managed to spend $14 on groceries: cough drops, OJ, milk and eggs.
I was going to review the week’s spending because I’d forgotten that A) it’s Tuesday, and B) it’s already next week. Yeah, I’m totally ready to go back to work tomorrow!!
Last week’s spending, then:
Monday – spent the morning at the cemetery, no spending in the afternoon or evening.
Tuesday – Christmas! Spent the day family-hopping, eating too much good food, and opening way too many presents. Loot: three books, a lovely necklace, two cute bead bracelets (one of which snapped the next day, doh!), a fantastic, made in Florence, journal. From BD: A Maxtor external hard drive, and a Green Lantern ring that’s hugenormous. I love it. 
Worked on Wednesday, and forgot to eat breakfast or bring lunch, so I spent $4 on lunch.
Thursday – most of the day was spent at the cemetery visiting A’s grave and eating lunch with the family. No spending.
Friday – used some SW credit to purchase one leg of my flight to see BD for our 3-year anniversary. We then went to Ikea and spent about $220 on office supplies that I’ll be reimbursed for, and $25 on a bathroom rug (for Ma) and ergonomic pillow for me. That was a great $8.65 spent on the pillow, I’ve been getting GREAT sleep. I treated BD to Pho at a restaurant my family frequented when I was a kid: $18, tip included.
Saturday – no spending!
December 31, 2007
Ah yes, the neverending saga that is BroDucky. He’s delusional. Is there any other explanation? After our knockdown, drag-out, earsplitting fight two weeks ago in which he declaimed all sorts of morally reprehensible things such as the rightness of his decision-making, etc., etc., after telling me in words, actions and behavior that our family means less than burnt beans to him ….. he wants to move back home.
He says that he’s tried and tried, he’s hit rock bottom, has nowhere to go, nothing left, no friends, and on and on. Says he wants to come home and help our family, help our mother, help me. Can I believe a word of it? Certainly not.
Yep. It’s been a very merry week of strife.
After much agonizing, I still have to stick to my guns: he needs to get a job, he needs to get his act together on his own, he needs to pay me back, and needs to own up to his mistakes and actually physically try to make things right on his own. Not by mewling to me about how he knows that he’s hurt me multiple times, and then having me save him from his mistakes so that he can go right back out and do it again.
Families are, in so many ways, so very complicated. Parenting seems more impossible than ever, if this is any example of the results.
I’ve begun to search for a new abode. His pigsty habits aside, I don’t believe that he’ll truly strike out on his own and try to make his own life so long as his family is accessible to beg.
For tonight? I wish everyone a very happy New Year, and plan to hunker down indoors, take no calls, make no calls, and generally hide from humanity for just one evening.
December 29, 2007
Egads, but this year flew by! This Ducky’s fiscal travels were all over the map this year. I covered the balance tranfer/App-o-Rama adventure, the lending money debacle, the frantic savings race, and the monthly bills marathon. So let’s take a look and see what kind of shape 2007 turned out to be.
Originally, I decided these were my goals:
= 1353/month
= 16,240/year
while budgeting 28,320 for bills and rent and increasing the pre-tax 403(b) contribution to 500/month.
At the time of last year’s goal-making, I didn’t make any special note of the regular emergency fund, because it was full. These are the major highlights:
I sure wish that I had a Day of Reckoning for 2006 for comparison’s sake. There was so much upheaval, though, that it’s going to take way too much time to figure it all out manually. Instead, I will create the starting point for whatever information I can access now, similar to the monthly snapshots, and that’ll be my baseline for next year.
| 2006 | 2007 | ||
| Cash | $15,000 | $14,800 | |
| Retirement Investments: Roth | $0 | $3,601 | |
| Retirement Investments: 401(k) | $0 | $2,217 | |
| Retirement Investments: 403(b) | $4,238 | $12,245 | |
| Wamu: Rollover IRA | $1,385 | $1,497 | |
| Investments and Loans | $17,630 | $17,630 | |
| Total | $38,253 | $52,190 |
Cash Savings (not income meant for bills): Unexpected Expenses – $28,600
I saved enough to nearly refill the emergency fund and to cover the lost $16,000. Originally I was going to use the rest of the e-fund, but saved really diligently to try and cover as much as possible out of this year’s income instead. I’ll be paying the saved $16k back out in a month, so the year-end cash total I’ll be keeping is a shade less than I started out with this year. *one last sigh for lost savings*
Retirement Investments:
Vanguard rescued this disorganized PF idiot by providing year-end balance comparisons. They don’t break out the contributions versus earnings, but I guess that doesn’t matter.
A huge driver for the increase in retirement savings is the fact that I received a great deal of untaxed bonus money to supplement the shortfall of income. Saving that much pretax money also saved me approximately $2000 worth of owed taxes.
December 28, 2007
It’s almost sort of funny now, but a few days ago, I wasn’t nearly so amused by the conversation I had with BoyDucky’s mother. She’d been almost forcefully cheerful and friendly to me all day – highly unusual, in fact, has NEVER happened before – but I assumed it had nothing to do with me. Apparently, she was just setting me up to get me to ride with her and BoyDucky to their business, so she could give me a piece of her mind. So we could have “a discussion,” I mean.
The highlights were as follows:
1. You two need to make a decision about marriage. NOW.
2. You can’t keep living in two separate cities. Unless you’re not getting married, then it doesn’t matter.
** I couldn’t help myself, I clapped my hands and said, “Oh that’s an option? Great! We’re set then!” As you can imagine, I got a LOOK from BD.**
3. You need to find a job in Northern CA, regardless of how well you’re doing at the current job because one of you is going to have to make sacrifices. *ahem* SOME people actually quit their jobs, have kids, and then come back to their jobs years later.
4. You need to stop “chasing the money” (that’s what it’s called when you’re working instead of popping out the babies) and put your family first. (ie: yes, the family I don’t have yet because I’ve already got my hands full!)
** I was still just laughing at this point, saying “sure, one of us can stay at home. BoyDucky! He’d LIKE to stay home with the kids. I’ll work really hard, get some major raises and be the breadwinner.” That screwed up her tirade for a few minutes. She regrouped, though. What a trooper! **
5. You should just quit your job here and, if you can’t find a job like you’re doing now, just go be someone’s secretary. You’d probably be good at that.
** Laughter stopped. **
6. What are your parents doing? I think your dad should just get some job somewhere and work for someone. Or maybe he just won’t lower himself like that. What’s your mom doing? etc. etc. etc.
** The funny left the building. **
I keep hearing that I shouldn’t have high expectations for a MIL, that some MsIL NEVER become reconciled to the DIL until they’re practically on their deathbeds (in one case, literally) but is it really so unusual for a MIL to have a little respect?
Leaving aside the whole can of “how dare you judge my parents when you know nothing about them” worms; I doubt that anyone who had any respect for me would suggest that I dump everything I’ve labored so hard to accomplish to go have babies on their say so. Not because it’s a priority for me, but because she wants grandkids and the other kids aren’t giving it up. Is this a generational thing? The one that dictated the older generation would give everything up to have kids and take care of them? I highly respect my parents for the sacrifices they made, and return the favor in kind, but giving up everything for kids I don’t have (and maybe, don’t want) yet is not happenin’.
Besides, it’s just not practical. I already have two dependents, and taking away my income to live on BD’s doesn’t work at all.
Is this as laughable to anyone else as it was to me? Or does it just sound familiar?
Ok, I guess it’s not that funny now that I think about it. Just kind of sad. But boy, she got me good with that secretary thing. After all, it was just a probably that I’d be good at it! All kinds of implied insult. *eyeroll*
December 27, 2007
Life has been hectic… so much not the relaxed, sleeping-in, reading on the floor all day sort of holiday break that I’d been looking forward to. Well, actually, I’ve been sleeping in far later than usual, but only because I’m staying up hours later than my bedtime. *tsk*
But I actually got a couple items checked off the list today:
1. Called the auto insurance company and had BroDucky taken off the policy. This item was originally “Get insurance quotes and get new policy” but that takes a whole lot more effort than I’ve had time for. This’ll do for now. The underwriters require up to 30 days to rewrite the policy so I’ve got my fingers crossed that the total will come down A LOT.
2. Called T-mobile to check on the minutes that Pa and MaDucky use of a month. If their usage is consistently low, I’m changing their family plan to the lowest priced one available. That plan runs $59.99 for 700 minutes, free nights and weekends, and Mobile to Mobile. Unfortunately, since the plan remains under Ma’s name, despite my paying the bill, she now needs to call them and add me as an “authorized user” so I can access the plan and actually change it. Still, it’s a step. That ten dollars saved will go towards the iPhone.
This just leaves:
1. Culling credit cards I signed up for last year and no longer need or want. This has to be done during business hours because I want to transfer the credit limits to the remaining cards.
2. Developing financial & personal goals for 2008.
3. Planning the last bridal shower for next week.
4. Creating R’s wedding gift of a photobook chronicling the “behind the scenes” leading up to her actual wedding. I can at least get the first 2/3s of the book started.
5. At least 4-6 hours of OT work to get caught up before the 2nd.
December 26, 2007
I hope each and every one of you had a wonderful holiday. I’m just taking a 5 minute break from work emails right now. Though we’re on paid holiday, Little Boss said I could come in and work if I wanted to.
Friday night was nervewracking. Old DuckyPuppy, 18.5 years old, hadn’t eaten since 2pm, and wasn’t able to get up or move around on his own. He specializes in being a puppy-lump, but not eating is NOT him. Wrapped in blankets, he toasted in front of his favorite space heater for a few hours while I agonized about whether or not I should disturb his rest and take him to the vet. He was breathing normally and gums were pink so he wasn’t in distress, but I just couldn’t decide whether or not it was worth an emergency vet check. Finally, BoyDucky and I took him at midnight because I simply couldn’t sleep without knowing for sure that there wasn’t anything else we could do for him. It cost $200 to have him checked and get x-rays to confirm that we just needed to help him rest and get around until he was ready to eat again. He finally started to perk up on his own around 4 pm Saturday.
Immediately after that, the other bridesmaids and I threw together R’s bachelorette party for Saturday night and it turned out to be really quite fun, despite the last minute planning.
We took her to dinner at a BBQ/western themed restaurant at Universal CityWalk (parking: $10), where we ate WAY TOO MUCH and topped it off with mechanical bullriding. She managed to hang onto the bull for the full 8 seconds. Yeehaw! My portion of dinner, with some thrown in to cover R’s dinner, was $42.
Next up was dancing at a Latin club: the salsa/Latin/Hispanic musica was played downstairs for the dancers with coordination and dancin’ skill, all other dance music was upstairs. Unfortunately, cover was $20 because we got there after 10pm, but the bartender was kind enough not to charge for any of R’s drinks. The “bachelorette” tiara was a great investment, it saved us the cost of 5 bottles of water and 5 drinks. Coat check was $3, cash only, and ironically, I was the only one with enough cash to cover $7 of coat check for friends. I never carry cash; I only had cash at all because BoyDucky insisted on giving me money for the night since I didn’t let him go halfsies on the vet bill. I guess cash DOES have its uses. š And thoughtful boyfriends are great, too.
Total spent: $79 (-$65 from BD = $14) Monday morning found us decorating A’s grave with garlands and ornaments. He would have been 26 tomorrow, so I’m sure we’ll be back again tomorrow morning.
That night, I found out that MaDucky had gotten into a minor (ie: no injury) two-car fender bender because she was on a new medication and became confused while driving. I think it’s time she stopped driving. She’s been ticketed for making illegal turns, and turns on red lights that count as “running” the light and countless other minor violations. It all adds up to a very bleak prospect for her safety.
Tuesday was a good day visiting with R’s family. This may be the last year I spend any real time with them during the holidays because splitting my time between three families is just so complicated.
And that brings me to today/right now: (I need to get back to work!) This unexpected holiday overtime will help pay for the equally unbudgeted outlays of the past few days. I didn’t want to work instead of playing Wii with friends, but I may as well cover some upcoming bills while I can. Time enough for video games in the evening.
In great news:
1. I’m SO CLOSE to topping off my emergency fund!! Check out the sidebar!
2. R gave me David Bach’s Smart Women Finish Rich and we’re going to make 5 goals for 2008 together. Aside from my regular financial goals, we’ve decided that we’re going to make 5 goals that can be anything from personal, relationship, financial to educational and make a PLAN for how to accomplish it. I’m excited! Fresh year, fresh start.
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