About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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May 8, 2007
Chatting about the house for sale down the streeet with a friend, I was taken aback at his bald statement: Forget about your 401(k) until you have a house. Your house is your 401(k)!
His logic is as follows:
It took him 10 years after college to buy his home. That was 6.5 years ago. He hasn’t contributed a cent in the last 6.5 years because he and his wife bought a fixer-upper and have spent that time and money tearing out floors, replacing the bathroom, kitchen and deck, and various other housely duties.
They overpaid the mortgage and refi’ed almost every 6-8 months (paying no closing costs each time) until they arrived at what they considered a great interest rate. I’m not sure what that is, but they’re happy with it.
Now, they have 1 little girl and another little one on the way, they’re secure in their home and are comfortable with their house and tax payments even with his wife working on sales commission and making a bit less than usual.
When he’s going to start contributing to his retirement again, or how much he really contributed before, was left unsaid.
I can see how being house wealthy with a growing family in his mid-30’s can create such an air of contentment, but I wonder how he’s going to make up for his lost years of compounding interest, unless he initially contributed heavily in his 20’s and that’s why it took a while for him to save the money needed for a down payment. On the other hand, he’s flexible, focused and driven, very entrepreneurial and creates new income streams for himself really easily.
I’m rather intrigued, not enough to stop contributing to my retirement plans and watch my tax bill shoot through the roof instead, but intrigued nevertheless.
May 7, 2007
Though I spent a goodly amount on a pair of jeans Saturday, ’til death do us part, I did not buy any of the pieces I was trying on from Banana Republic as alternative options for my Nordstrom business suit (in case I can’t creatively fund it.) I found that they DO carry a size that fits me, and a dress that I love for its pockets:
Jacket: 168, regular
Skirt: 68, regular
Dress: 85, sale
I’d say that all these prices are hands-down NOT deals, but it fulfills the other requirements of fitting perfectly, thus negating the need for tailoring (unlike most of my clothing), and being available at a store where creative financing is possible. A call to the Thank You Redemptions center revealed that I have a crapload of points, hostage points notwithstanding, and though they don’t offer the $100 gift card for Banana Republic anymore, I can request larger denominations for that and other stores through Your Wish Fulfilled. The catch is that the special rewards are more than likely at a premium so I still probably won’t get my 1 for 1 ratio of points to dollars like I want, but I have the option of accepting or declining the quote that the representative offers.
I asked for a quote on the $100 and $200 denominations of Banana Republic and Nordstrom. One, I can compare the quotes for the most favorable exchange rate. Two, I prefer to have options with regards to the stores, I don’t want to be limited to having money for one store and wanting to buy from the other, after all.
As I’ve said, I don’t like paying premium prices for clothing but as my options in the business-dress department are so limited, I have to save in other ways like not spending actual cash. And as with most things, that takes time and patience. Keep your fingers crossed!
Long distance relationships rarely acquire the sort of tedium that you experience in a non-LDR from spending every moment together, and there’s always a sneaking suspicion that you’re missing out on some of the more precious moments and underlying nuances that reveal your beloved’s personality. Getting a date is much more complicated than just making a call and confirming dinner reservations, even more so as a working gal on a budget; if the bills aren’t calling, the work deadlines are. We tested a rather reasonable compromise this weekend, though, and it was a rousing success!
I flew up late late Thursday night after work. Friday was a work-from-home day (just not my home) to eliminate my normal 2.5 hour commute, and maximize BoyDucky time. It was so fun! He took a half day while I kept working until 3:45 which is absolutely unheard of. We tried to watch Spiderman 3 even though I knew it was a hopeless quest because we were trying to hit a last minute matinee: of course it was sold out. That was ok, though, rushing to the theatre like a couple of kids trying to make the movie before curfew was fun. Since there is NO WAY I was ok with spending $10.50 per ticket, we skipped the theatre.
He introduced me to the wonders of Draeger’s and their amazing wine selection, so we cruised the aisles for a couple of hours. A bargain bunch of spinach, three cookies and a lemon bar later, we had dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant down the street. Their pho wasn’t half bad, and their eggrolls were small but tasty!
Daily subtotal: ~ $20
Saturday, he indulged my need for a (free) mini-facial at Origins, and even underwent the ordeal himself so that we could both get the free full-sized cleansers they were giving away. Like senile old coots, we completely forgot that we’d decided to try for the matinee of Spiderman 3 again before dinner with his family, and instead lunched on soup and sandwiches from Boudin Bistro to while away our overbudgeted hours.
Confession: We went into the Guess store because they had those beckoning 70% off! signs. I couldn’t resist. I’m not admitting that I didn’t try too hard to resist. But come on! 70% off!? It wasn’t that it was a Guess store, it was the 70% off. And then I way overspent on a pair of really comfortable, fits-perfectly jeans that turned out to be 50% off, not the promised 70%. In my defense, I’ve been wearing the same pair of jeans to work for weeks. And they aren’t even really comfortable, so it’s been fat-pants-day for … a while. On the other hand, I was originally so proud of only spending $15 on my last pair of jeans that turned out to be less than comfortable several months later, perhaps spending a little more for a pair I can get LOTS of wear out of will average out. BoyDucky feels like it wasn’t as world’s-end for me to spend that much as I did, but he later felt properly ashamed for encouraging me to spend beyond comfort level.
We had dinner with his very Taiwanese family, so I did my best to intuit the conversation and pretend I didn’t understand when they were asking when he was getting married. That’s always the logical question that follows, “How old are you, 30?”
Dinner ended so early that we even had time to squeeze in a movie rental.
Daily Subtotal: $14 (B), $60 (me)
Sadly, we only had time for brunch and stop in at a friend’s baby shower (there were babies, babies, everywhere!) before I had to fly home. It’ll be nice when I don’t have to go to the airport to go home anymore. That’s a point to the pro-marriage team. Still, I have miles to go before I sleep.
We’ve concluded that we both understand that we have jobs and responsibilities, and if the only way we can spend time together is to be in the same place and working, we’re ok with that. So, we’ll give ourselves a chance to be together a little more, even if it’s with respective laptops. Weekends have always been a complicated affair of cramming work during the week so we can cram a TON of social stuff into a couple days, this should be more relaxing.
May 4, 2007
After I published that last post, I saw my empty Roth 2007 meter. I’m not a total hypocrite, I have $1200 in savings waiting for 1800 more friends so they can go to Contribution Heaven together.
Waaaait a minute!! I’m an idiot. No really, I’m an idiot!! I was thinking of my 2007 IRA as a wholly new IRA, independent of last year’s, so that meant I had to meet the $3000 minimum again. What? Well, I would, if the investing world were run by idiots like me!! That logic is completely illogical.
*sigh*
I really hope that this is just a product of my sleep deprivation, and not a general indication of my financial intelligence. Do we have such a thing? Financial IQ?
May 3, 2007
What a silly question. Yes, yes, yes, I want to! It’s not just that I’ve been itching to ditch work and home and all the attendant concerns. It’s trekking carefree across the plains (er, metaphorically, of course), eating my way through the gastronomical delights that are suppli, potato pizza, boundless pasta (carbs, carbs and more carbs), the orzo, the lamb, the calamari …. Yes, I want to go!
But that just awakens my ever-lurking conscience: When is it justifiable to spend money for pleasure, when (as evidenced by the yawning goal meters to the left) every penny is spoken for? Where is the line drawn between respecting the greater goals, and refusing to live life?
Everyday, we make these choices as we navigate our consumer-driven society. Every possible need and want that you can imagine, and a few that you couldn’t, are marketed based on the ad agency’s ability to convince you that you need their product. Not based on your needs and definitely not on your budget, remember, but based on what they can get you to spend. As consumer-captains of our personal finances, we have to make spending decisions based on our priorities, and our actual budgets.
I thought I had this figured out, but this isn’t a static decision. If it were, I wouldn’t need to reevaluate my budget every six to twelve months. I wouldn’t bother to adjust my goals, nor would I waver from the prescribed course: Eat your fruits and veggies, contribute 15% to your retirement plan, save 10% of your budget, etc., etc., etc. What I’m trying to say is that Life tends to get in the way of these things.
It’s pretty easy, at first, to cut out the fat. After all, I know how to tell the difference between a “need” and “want” at the most basic level (for America, anyway. Most bets are off once you leave the country). Food: Need. Roof over head: Need. Running water, electricity: Need. And so on.
Occasionally, one needs (or wants) clothing, a meal out with friends who are in town but once or twice a year. (See the results of No-Spend Month, April). Yes, the odd movie out, when the movie ticket is quite cheap, is permissible. And yes, much has been made of the Latte Factor; the small purchases do indeed add up very quickly. Especially on a small budget: $3 here and there doesn’t sound much until you realize that your spending allowance was only $25 to begin with!
But again, there’re the easy decisions like idle spending because you’re online and bored? Bad. Spending because you’re bored and near a mall? No! Vacation travel? Going somewhere fun that costs money to get there, to stay there and to eat there? Just for fun? That’s not a need. That is most assuredly a want. How quickly a pleasurable and educational activity that can be done on a budget gets demonized!
Inevitably, I’ll remember those MSN Money-type surveys that “analyze” your spending habits, and it always asks some variation of the “If your friend asked you to go on a trip of a lifetime but it’ll cost $2000 that you don’t have right now, what would you say?” Of course, I always answer “C: tell your friend you would love to go, but don’t have the money right now. Then start saving for the next trip of a lifetime.” I’m such a liar. I always pass on the trips, but never can find the gumption to divert funds from the more realistic needs like funds for car maintenance or insurance or other expenses.
See, here’s the thing: most times I think, “it’s not going to kill me to give up this movie or that outing.” But that’s not the point, is it? It’s not that it’s going to kill me. It’s that I’m not experiencing life, just the view from my bedroom window. Which is basically the lackluster little sister version of “it’ll kill you.”
By placing what I see as realities of life, such as emergencies that require readily available cash (within a few days or weeks) and the demands of the future like planning and funding my retirement, ahead of immediate gratification, protecting the tomorrows at the expense of the todays, am I defeating the purpose of all these efforts? Am I failing to live life?
Conversely, deciding the priorities of a thoroughly-lived life is all very well in theory, but when does that start becoming reality? And is now, at 24, far too soon to expect to really live life? Is this the hallmark “me me me, now now now” instant gratification expectation that seems to exemplify Generation Y?
May 1, 2007
“Let me ‘splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up….”
Gas: 183.11
Food: 23.36 (Restaurant/eating out only, doesn’t include groceries.)
Clothes: 100.60
Personal Care: 10
Travel: 0
Entertainment: 0
Wow, that looks like it was a miserable failure. Actually, I really bought the clothes in March, which is what kicked off the no-spend months to begin with, but it showed up on my credit card statement on April 2nd. I think that means it comes off. I think that gas should get a free pass too, because I always have to pay for gas for the cars, whether or not I drive that month.
So, really:
Food: 23.36 (Restaurant/eating out only, doesn’t include groceries.)
Personal: 10
Travel: 0
Entertainment: 0
Total: 33.36
Now that I’ve meddled with the data, I think it looks like a rousing success!
No, really, the eating out and other personal spending are the two true variable categories where I actually have a choice to make about whether or not to spend the money. Sometimes I don’t have a choice, I have to spend it on a haircut, etc., but other than that I don’t have to spend on entertainment, or eating out and I can be more careful and plan ahead when I’m going to travel.
I did have one slightly shady transaction which was the pair of sunglasses that my friend bought for me. It’s a little shady (no pun intended) because she bought them simply because it was no-spend month for me. It’s a close cousin to mooching, I’m afraid.
April 30, 2007
For every shopping window you open, open up a personal finance or investing research page, like Yahoo Finance, or the Motley Fool. At least, those were my Ghostbusters when I was idly listening to a Style sement from some random morning show. I knew there was a reason I never watch morning TV!
Trying to read about 3 Stocks that Missed the Mark and the market moves of the Starwood hotels while browsing the shoes at PaylessShoeSource.com and trying to find that REALLY cute denim dress featured on the show caused such a mental disconnect that my brain fizzed and I had to close up all the shopping windows.
You could practically hear the “zhoomp” of the shopping lobe shutting down, cowering in fear of the investing/saving lobes. I know, it’s two against one, hardly a fair fight. But when you figure it’s a zero-sum game with my paycheck, thank goodness the odds are weighted against spending!
