About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
I’m A Man And It Took Me Years To Recognize I Had Been Sexually Assaulted: In our ongoing and expanding dialogue on the nature of sexual assault, I only hope that we continue to encourage men to feel safe in recognizing their experiences with it. Vulnerability isn’t weakness and victimhood need not be a badge of shame
An interview with Richard Grant, on his abusive alcoholic father. I find this view a bit hard to reconcile: Of course, like he always was, he either had blacked out or had no memory of what he’d done the night before, and would sign a check and push it across the breakfast table and be full of remorse and beg for forgiveness and all of that.
I absolutely loved and adored him, because he was a very, very funny, sharp-witted man and very provocative in his conversations. He was very well-read and all of those things. So reconciling that with this person that he turned into — I think that it’s a measure of how much a child loves a parent. That even though [I had] suffered those things, I always very, very clearly understood that who he became when he was drunk was not who he was. To me, that was the monster, and it wasn’t my father who I loved.
Tune-in at the appointed times by launching the SwagIQ app and log-in with your Swagbucks account credentials. The game show host will ask a series of multiple-choice trivia questions. You’ll have 10 seconds to answer each one.
Get the answer right and get SB (points you can use to get gift cards) and move on. Answer them all correctly and you can win a grand prize! If more than one player wins, the winners split the grand prize.
Get the answer wrong, you can still play along. Some questions have an SB award attached to them. If you answer those questions correctly, you get SB, even if you’re out of the running for the big money. And, if you’re in a groove but miss a question, you’ll have the option to rejoin a game by redeeming a few SB.
On a Think Positivekick here, we’re making slow and steady progress on our mortgage. Instead sinking into the pit of despair at the enormous task in front of us, I’m keeping an eye on how our payment to principal is steadily increasing with every payment: January was $883.99. December was $924.1. Progress! Reallllly slow progress. I committed to reducing our mortgage principal by $10,000 in 2018, we reduced it by about $12,500.00.
I budgeted an even amount every two weeks from our normal paychecks to be saved up for large payments (insurance and property taxes are the worst) and it worked out really well this year. This is the first full year we’ve done this and I’m pleased as punch that my system worked. There was sadness when the money left but no stress over whether we could cover the bill. Making enough money also SERIOUSLY makes a difference there of course and that’s a huge good thing we have going for us right now.
It’s still early days yet but my diet changes seem to be improving my pain enough that I can reduce my pain management medications. We’ll see if this is consistent through 2019. Nothing dents the chronic fatigue that has been plaguing me for years but I’m ever so grateful for the days when pain is low. I haven’t had so many “low” (for me) pain days in a single year since I was a young teen!
I’m not sure if it’s called an abundance mindset but I think that being mindful of being generous and giving, less stingy and miserly, even when the worrywart part of me fears things will get too tight has made me open to the idea that, barring a major dislocation in our jobs or lives, the money will come in and I can continue to breathe normally even during rough waters, of which we have had many this year. Big picture, we’ve gone through a lot of challenges together so I should have faith in us but it’s taken me a very long time to do so.
Dividend income. We received $291.40 in dividends this month. I reinvest all our dividends into new stocks or move the cash out to be invested into index funds.
Costco Cash Card. Costco was prompt in sending us the cash card for our furnace. Thank goodness! This cashback brings our ghastly total down to around $13,000 (not counting the asbestos cost that was nearly $2000 and has been negotiated down to $1200).
Craigslist sale. +$40. I’m grateful PiC is still able to work on these sales a little at a time even though we’re in over our heads with work. My own sales have petered out pretty badly and I think it’s time to donate all that “inventory”, I gave it a good try.
This brought tears to my eyes: In “The Barefoot Woman,” Mukasonga’s latest book, translated from the French into English by Jordan Stump, she attempts to fulfill her daughterly duty: “Mama, I wasn’t there to cover your body, and all I have left is words — words in a language you didn’t understand — to do as you asked. And I’m all alone with my feeble words, and on the pages of my notebook, over and over, my sentences weave a shroud for your missing body.”
From earlier this year, Kristi Yamaguchi, Unlaced: On the eve of the National Championships, Nicole Chung and champion skater Kristi Yamaguchi discuss life after the Olympics, what it means to be ‘the first,’ and the state of figure skating in 2018.
I’d never heard of Direct Air before this article, and I’m glad I hadn’t! What terrible people.
My empathies to Joe’s family as they are dealing with a rough situation with his mom’s dementia. Brings back some bad memories for me since it happened when we were much more precarious financially and didn’t have the resources to get her a better caretaker than us. I am glad that Joe is in a much better position than we were in.
Daniel José Older Half-Resurrection Blues Midnight Taxi Tango MANY thumbs up. Annoyed with myself for not requesting that the library buy all three in the Bone Street Rumba series because I didn’t realize #3 (Battle Hill Bolero) was out! I have fixed that mistake but still waiting on the library to actually buy it. Seanan McGuire Discount Armageddon Midnight Blue-Light Special Half–OffRagnarok Pocket Apocalypse MANY thumbs up. I want more. I keep thinking over how to fund cryptozoologists so they can do the crypto part of their job without having to work a day job. Passive income FTW!
Tomi Adeyemi, Children of Blood and Bone MANY thumbs up. I knew this was going to be good. It was EXCELLENT.
Gregory Harris, The Bellingham Bloodbath
Interesting enough I’d like to read more of the series.
Imogen Hermes Gowar, The Mermaid and Mrs. Hancock
Not my usual genre but very engaging and well written. I was mildly stressed hoping the characters would make good decisions. It was solid but I didn’t really enjoy the experience so wouldn’t read it again.
Danette Haworth, A Whole Lot of Lucky
A totally random middle school pick from the library because none of my books were available. It was about a poor kid whose family wins the lottery and I was reasonably impressed with how the parents dealt with the windfall. Less so with the kid but I’ve always struggled to relate to normal kids so this isn’t a surprise. Overall, pretty well written.
Amanda Bouchet, A Promise of Fire (The Kingmaker Chronicles Series, Book 1)
Breath of Fire (The Kingmaker Chronicles Series, Book 2)
Heart on Fire (The Kingmaker Chronicles Series, Book 3)
Beverly Cleary, Ramona and Her Mother (Ramona Quimby Series, Book 5)
A little trip down memory lane.
Kelly Barnhill, The Witch’s Boy
The Girl Who Drank the Moon
Both of these were really well written and I would definitely recommend them.
Mercedes Lackey, Blood Red (Elemental Masters Series, Book 10)
Bastion (Valdemar: The Collegium Chronicles, Book 5)
Hunter (Hunter Series, Book 1)
I’ve always enjoyed this series and really particularly liked this take on Little Red Riding Hood. I don’t love the Valdemar books anymore after thinking about the Companions and kidnapping to impress citizens into the service of the government buuuut I needed a book to read.
Where we went
We finally made it down to Monterey for a short weekend trip and tried a new place in Pacific Grove, escaping a little bit from the fires and visiting a friend.
The Deer Haven Inn was a very basic but nice enough place to hang out for a night and day while we escaped the massive fires and the toxic air from up North. We loved our little fireplace and had take out on the beds which we never ever do. I had hoped to see some deer hanging out near the inn but instead we were startled by them wandering around the roads in the pitch dark! It was pure luck that we didn’t hit any. Be careful what you wish for and all that. Unfortunately our usual fantastic Mexican food place that we eat at almost every time we’re in Monterey really didn’t come through. Everything we had was dry, or oversauced, and disappointing. Darn.
What I watched
The Good Place. I’d seen advertisements for this show all over the place at SDCC but since there are only about a billion things vying for our attention, I didn’t think twice about it. I do like Kristen Bell a lot so that should have been a warning flag that I’d like it but I randomly found it on Netflix one day and it is fantastic.
Grimm. I’d enjoyed Grimm the first time around but didn’t watch it all way through when it was still live. This has an entire cast of supporting characters I loved. The main character was fine but my favorites were the supporting characters: Munroe, Rosalie, Sergeant Wu, Hank, I loved. Juliette and the Captain, I liked. Adalind I had trouble liking both times around, but for different reasons.
What I did
I picked up needle and thread for fun this fall and while my stitches are laughably uneven, I’ve really enjoyed it as a hobby. Inspired by Kristine at Frugasaurus, I’ve been making drawstring bags. It’s very weird to have a hobby that costs money but it’s also oddly soothing. Is this what they call relaxing?
I always wanted to get back to my childhood ideal of three dogs and I have finally realized …. my dream is not for me anymore.
Six months into an expanded pack of two medium-large dogs and one human child, we barely fit on a sidewalk anymore. That might be the most superficial reason but we walk the dogs 3-4 times a day. It’s kind of a pain not fitting on the sidewalk together when you have to keep an eye on everyone, make sure everyone is safe on the sidewalk and not popping into the street, running off, or chasing after SQUIRREL! Not that Seamus would ever dream of doing such a thing.
Sera, though, is a bit of work. She’s basically got the template of a pretty good dog: she sort of tries to listen to our training, she puts up with all of JB’s demands (SIT! No, REAL SIT!), is reasonably calm pottering around the house during my work routine of work / walk, eat / work, which translates to sleep / walk, eat / sleep, for the dogs. She’s not overly attention-needy, not highly destructive.
BUT: she’s still terrible on lead. She pulls hard, though she has finally settled down to an acceptable distance-from-human, still can’t even beging to contain herself when she sees other dogs on leash across the street and wildly overreacts. I’m talking about ruff rising, and after a prolonged period of alert staring, lunging. It’s a good thing I am used to holding back about a hundred pounds of over excited dog at any given time but it takes my entire body and a really good leash.
She’s made hugely questionable eating choices (coprophagy happened a couple of times gross gross gross). When she got bored when we were away ah hour longer than usual, she’s selected a few items from our living room or from one of our bags to rend and destroy. That’s mostly annoying but there was one time she had snagged a battery out of one of our bags, we didn’t even remember it was in there! and thankfully just left it under the dining table instead of chewing on it. I was horrified at the bullet dodged there and we started the hunt for a crate because we couldn’t risk that again. (Why, Sera? Seamus just sleeps, why can’t you do the same??) And of course she generally took to crate training ok BUT she can’t just be good about it. She’s found ways to break out while we’re gone.
She’s impolite – she would sneak Seamus’s food right from under his head if we let her (we don’t), and frequently uses him as a warming blanket / bedmate when he clearly would like a little space. Then there was the time I left salmon defrosting far back on the counter, even Seamus with his six extra inches of height and 10 inches of length couldn’t easily reached it. She must have bounced up there like a deranged Tigger because we came home to a piece of foil licked clean instead of a dinner ready to cook. I was FURIOUS. Salmon is expensive and we were already running late. I whipped up a second dinner but that was the last straw.
Now she’s partially crate-trained and locked in her crate whenever we leave home because it’s safer that way for everyone. We manage all of these behaviors to keep everyone safe and happy but it’s a lot more effort than we ever needed to put in with Doggle or Seamus. We’ve been spoiled by really good dogs, maybe, but none of my past dogs did any of these things.
The most difficult part of it all for me personally isn’t the behaviors. We can work with those. It’s the fact that I don’t think she actually likes any of us. She’s ok with us, and learning to trust us, but even the most abused pup we’ve rescued in the past has formed a warm emotional bond with one of the family within a few months. She has not. She cuddles with Seamus for warmth, she accepts pets and skritches, but she doesn’t have any affection for us. She just wants the good food and good beds we provide. For that, we might as well have adopted a cat! I love cats, I know what to expect from them. But from a dog, I expect them to love someone in the family. But there’s time yet. I hope she decides to like at least one of us.
I would LOVE to do a 100 best pens test.
On Money
What I read