About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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May 25, 2015
Unlike the slippery slope argument, which is generally fallacious, my problem here is utterly logical.
After not buying clothes for almost a year, focusing solely on feeding the family and paying actually necessary bills, I got an itch to pick up one nice thing. We have a few events coming up and some of them are formal enough that my mom-capris and loose shirts wouldn’t pass muster.
(mom-capris: the same capris I had since before getting pregnant but only buttoning one of the buttons. Doubles as buffet capris.)
Despite my ban on buying any new dresses because how many dresses does a single human need, one dress that actually fits me wouldn’t be a bad idea since it is basically an all in one outfit. If I played my cards right, I could maybe find a dress that will fit me now AND work later if my size changes again. (Side grump: this is not a thing men have to worry about when they talk about growing the family.)
Naturally I still don’t want to actually GO shopping. You know, in a shop. This makes it difficult to figure out what size I am though. Instead I hit the internet and ordered multiple things in different sizes. My home is the most comfortable dressing room.
Having clicked order (twice), you’d think that was the end of Step One. It is, I suppose, as Step Two is trying everything on but there’s a nasty side effect of clicking Order: I got a thing. A thing? Yes, says my brain, a thing! What about these Other Things You Like? Turns into a staring contest.
A nicer lightweight bag.
A hair clip.
Some shirts.
A stand mixer.
A house.
…… No no and no!
Mind, this isn’t just an exercise in self deprivation. Not entirely. Some of these things may yet come home with me. Or that house may probably happen because terrible neighbors are terrible and Seamus would love a yard (think I can teach him to do yardwork?).
But the other stuff? I just know that over the years, I’ve bought my fair share of things that became clutter much more quickly that I anticipated which would then have to be purged and be a net loss. In fairness, I was younger, stupider, and even less stylish. Regardless, I’d rather not do that again and again and again. I’d also rather keep my money and use it on investments to grow our future free from regular jobs future. That is not the same as not wanting anything nice, though, and therein lies the problem. It’s all fine and dandy when I’m not buying anything at all. But once I do, the brain keeps on rolling: why not this? And also… this?
Then I have to burn some willpower telling it to SHUSH and NOPE.
This isn’t just me, right?
May 24, 2015
This isn’t good.
As many as 1 in 7 cars on the road in the US are estimated to have a Takata air bag with a defect.
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is updating a list of all vehicles affected by VIN but it’ll take some time so check that list in the next few weeks to see if you should take your car to a dealer.
Please do take a minute to check. The airbag defect involves shrapnel and can cause serious injury!
Update: I checked all our cars and so far they’re showing up with 0 active recalls. I’ll check back again in a few weeks just in case.
May 21, 2015
Don’t fall for this E-Z Pass scam!
As usual, poor writing, inaccurate information, and a zip file are all reliable signs of a scammy phishing email. These are often addressed as “Dear [Last Name]” without any honorific or appropriate title, it lacks any useful information like where the violation was supposed to have occurred and how much it costs. That last bit is intended to get you to click on the zip file they’ve attached, of course.
Quick Thoughts
~ Every time I see someone use the phrase “mommy and me brigade” or something similar, it’s basically always pejorative and annoys the giblets off me.
~ Pork is not quite as forgiving as chicken. In other words, I dried out the ends of my first pork shoulder roast trying to get it to hit the recommended 160-170 degrees. But the middle was yummy! And I don’t mind dried roast pork if it was suitably fatty to begin with, the fat sort of keeps it from being a piece of cardboard.
~ OMG getting plans together for this year’s SDCC has been just a long stinking marathon of hurdles, it feels like. Getting badges. Getting hotel rooms. Getting parking. Every single thing was some sort of lottery and involved coordinating with half a dozen people.
~ Joss Whedon was harassed off Twitter by the scuzzy scuzzers who think that death threats are the best way to express their negative opinion. I wish I could say I was surprised but since rape and death threats are common currency of these scummy people, I just wish that Twitter would finally step up and do something about abusive users. It’s a great tool, but it needs to stop being an online Wild West.
Tell me what you think!
Tell me what you think in the comments!
I personally hate the idea but would you object to the occasional sponsored post here? It costs actual money to keep the site up and running, so I’m considering what might help pay those bills.
May 20, 2015
My primary points partners these days are SPG and Hilton, with only a dash of Citi Thank You points, so it’s no wonder I didn’t realize that Citi was hiding some points from me.
Back in 2011 and 2012, they withheld 20 and 158 points, respectively, supposedly for late payments but since I didn’t pay late fees or interest, I’m skeptical. Regardless, all I had to do was find the withheld points in the Account Summary (which, shame on me, I haven’t checked in ages) and click the box next to each set of points to reinstate them. Easy as sliced cheese!
It wasn’t much, but hey, I have a use for them. I’m only a few thousand points away from picking up another gift card for PiC.
It’s good to know that you might have some points stashed somewhere, for any of your rewards programs. Check your accounts once in a while!
May 19, 2015
A friend recently eclipsed my career by a rather heady margin. Robin and I have had a friendly almost-competition where we push each other to achieve our goals and making our way up the ladder like a pair of dueling rock climbers has been a fun pastime. None of our other peers were interested in our frank discussions about earning money, negotiating salary, trading tactics and giving one another a good shove in the back to do the uncomfortable thing.
This week, Robin was promoted to the C-suite.
I cheered, of course! It was a move we’d been discussing for a while, as he contemplated whether it made sense to move up there or elsewhere.
Then I realized: oh crap, I can’t match that anytime soon! One of the things I’ve always prided myself on was keeping step with him. It’s one of the things that makes me feel less resentful of the bias against women in the workplace – at least I’m keeping pace with my fantastic male friend, I’m not doing too badly.
Every so often, I get this uneasy feeling that I’m failing myself, failing to live up to my own expectations. It’s not because of comparing myself to others, though I won’t lie and say that I’m impervious to the outside world as competition, it’s because I have an internal set of benchmarks that I don’t always acknowledge.
I keep hearing this echo: you’re getting older, what have you done this year? (more…)
May 18, 2015
As I mentioned some time ago, I’m an affiliate of Donna Freedman’s new course (check it out if you’re interested in writing) and I decided to put my money where my mouth is. Or fingers are.
Of course, no new experience, especially for self improvement, should go unblogged, given the particular bent of this blog. Come along for the ride and maybe you’ll find a reason give it a try yourself.
I’m coming to this course as an already established blogger who probably isn’t going to quit anytime soon so Module 1, addressing the “why” of blogging is more of a reminder that stories have value, and writing stories well makes them more accessible.
There are hundreds, thousands, of blogs out there but I struggle to find consistently well-written, unique, compelling blogs. I love reading, even more than I love writing, and finding a fresh authorial voice with stories to tell is like finding That Exact Spot on the puppy’s belly that, when scratched, melts the furry marvel into a limp-limbed puddle, cross-eyed with satisfaction. In other words: bliss.
Maybe that’s why I think this course can be such a boon. So many people have tales to tell and selfishly, I want to read them. And I don’t think I’m alone in that desire!
Aside from that purely selfish point of view, while not everyone’s job requires any amount of writing that matters, some of us do. Having that knack in your toolbox lets you present yourself, your ideas, and proposals to the best advantage. Another way to get your way? Why not!
May 13, 2015
I’m revising a friend’s advice on parenting for our family.
1. Don’t have more kids than you have hands
Don’t have more kids than you have adult bodies. Ages ago, as a child-free professional auntie, I liked a 4-1 ratio of kids to adults. I stand by that number.
2. Fight only the important battles
Also the ones about socks. Cold feeted babies are angry angry babies.
3. Always have fun
Laugh at everything that would otherwise make you angry. Bitterly, hysterically, whatever, just go with it. You’re both sleep mad.
We’re keeping hir turned away from the television but like an owl, hir head swivels around until it’s just about 180 degrees looking back to continue looking at it. The lights and movement draw hir eyes right now but it’s far too early for hir to develop a tv habit! I’m considering being a heartless mom and moving the one tv into our room when ze gets older. For now I think it’s true that ze is just looking at the lights and movements.
The growth and development ze experienced coming into hir third month was astounding. In the space of four days, ze started paying attention to mobile toys, music, rattles, and trying to intentionally use hir hands as hands a couple times:
Ze very deliberately played a game with me and hir bottle one night: open mouth, clamp down on the nipple, spit it out, grin, repeat. Ze did this four or five times, each time sipping a few drops and grinning as ze spit out the bottle. Then finally, ze was done playing so ze grabbed my hand that was holding the bottle and very firmly moved it towards hir mouth and started drinking normally.
In hir little playmat with mobile things, ze had been swinging at the hanging objects aimlessly. One day, ze reached up with a fist, punching the air and then paused. Ze gently waved it at a ring. And again. Then started whacking the ring like a piñata!
Ze isn’t breaking any records but hir pediatrician is pleased with growth and ze made it through the first round of vaccines with about the expected level of rage, followed by a good long sleep. Weirdly, ze was more infuriated by the attempt to Baby Tylenol hir later that evening.
The search for a nanny had become a bit desperate. We hadn’t found anyone that really suits. The first mother’s helper we tried seemed alright at first but her competence seemed to taper off. By the fourth day, I was still repeating basic care instructions and it was driving me nuts. [When baby cries, check hir diaper. Why does that have to be repeated??] Then it was ok. Then it was not.
Ze has opinions and is very vocal about them. Yep, that means All The Crying. But also that the chirps and squeaks that impressed me so earlier turned into full near-words and now ze will lay around talking at you for minutes at a time. You don’t even have to be in front of hir, as long as ze can hear you respond.
Ze has more patience now. Before, the very second ze was GOING to have a dirty diaper we were in hot water. Totally not fair, btw. With the graduation to size 1 diapers, ze is also a bit more mature and patient about waiting a minute for a change.
Ze hasn’t quite doubled birth weight but ze is HUGE compared to birth size. Looking at pictures from the first week is a startling contrast. Luckily I am an obsessive photographer so we have chronicled the whole way here.