About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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August 6, 2011
After nearly three weeks of frustrations, run arounds, failed attempts and unanswered requests, I finally managed to get a prescription filled at my local Kaiser pharmacy.
To add insult to injury, it cost an extra $10. I nearly said something but before I could, the clerk ringing up my order mentioned casually, “you know, it’s cheaper if you order online.”
Wait, what?
“Yes, I noticed that this was more expensive and was just about to ask about that since I normally always order online. This was just thanks to all the trouble I’ve been having in getting this particular order filled.”
Not in the mood to explain the whole thing, even though he asked to hear the story, I glossed over the details and got to the good part: why exactly was the online order cheaper??
He explained: to encourage people to use the mail order service, when they order a 3 month supply, one month of the regular co-pay of $10/month is discounted.
!! You mean to tell me that the price I’ve been getting when I ordered online wasn’t a regular price, it was a discount?? (You had better not tell me that they’re going to take it away at some point, either.)
Honestly.
I’m happy that my busy life + laziness has been saving me at least $20/every three months for the past couple of years but if they wanted to change behavior shouldn’t they have been trumpeting this little detail from the rooftops instead of handing out tote bags when people say they’ll try ordering with mail delivery?
Would a 33% discount plus the added convenience of having your medication delivered by mail be incentive enough to convert you if you normally physically pick up your own prescriptions?
And in this day and age of having groceries, baked goods, and just about anything else you can think of delivered, why on earth would you need to be incentivized to have your medication delivered?
Who LIKES sitting in a creepy pharmacy smelling of astringent and urine waiting for their prescriptions to be filled? (Maybe that’s just mine. But still. Every pharmacy feels slightly creepy.)
August 1, 2011
It’s been over a year since my big move: the new job, the new home, the new life.
And I’m reflecting on the career part of it now that we’ve passed the big milestone: the performance evaluation.
Having to pull together a comprehensive report of my own accomplishments was a chore. I hated it. I shouldn’t. It’s my opportunity to toot my horn because I work incredibly hard, well and above my job description with three times the number of people to manage and many more times the amount of work to shoulder than most, so I should have been jumping at the chance to rectify the salary situation.
You see, when I accepted the job, I wasn’t offered an amount that was commensurate with my level of experience and history of performance. While peeved, I wasn’t terribly surprised because HR doesn’t make offers based on performance unless you’re long on obvious achievements and come highly recommended by people they know. At least not this HR, as far as I can tell. While I’m a high-performer, it’s not obvious on paper, nor does my youthful appearance do me many favors in this department. As well, the industry, the role and the company I was dealing with isn’t known for a generous offer at this level. I did negotiate and came away with a single concession, but they wouldn’t budge anywhere else.
In such a situation, I used some of the following variables to figure whether I should stay or go:
Leave it:
– You’re confident you can close the deal elsewhere in a short enough period of time that giving up this offer won’t hurt you (financially, reputation/burning bridges)
– The offer is below your baseline (you should always know your baseline lest you take an offer below that and find that it hurts you more than it helps you)
– You have a competitive counter/other offer on the table instead
– The culture is a poor fit
Take it:
– Decent alternate offers aren’t forthcoming and the money is enough to live on
– You know there is room for growth (financially, the people you’d make connections with)
– The culture is a good enough fit that it’s a good stepping stone for the time being
– It’s a good company to work for and the experience will be valuable on your career path (in combination with the money not being so bad that you can’t live on it)
My considerations: it was near PiC, the offer wasn’t so low that I couldn’t knock their socks off and bring it up to my standard fairly quickly (I thought it’d be sooner), the job was bound to be interesting and blow the rust off my skills so I could more easily find something else if I weren’t happy there, and from my read of the economy, I was still looking at a prolonged job hunt over several thousand dollars a year if I was at all unsure about moving to the East Coast.
So I took it. (Little realizing the angst those dollars would cause my psyche.)
Several months ago, my boss and I had a conversation where we reviewed my goals, achievements and expectations, and performance to date. I broached the topic of an increase at that point and while they weren’t willing to budge at the six-month mark, they were on notice that I wasn’t letting the salary matter lie. That was Step One.
Throughout the year, I carried more than my weight and became the go-to person on several fronts. Aside from the incredible challenges within my own team, and there were oh-so-many, I worked across departments and with upper management on a regular basis. After several months, my role expanded far beyond the original scope and I’m now active at a higher level than any of my peer group who have been with the organization as long as or longer than I. None of this was easy, of course, and very little of it was fun, but I was bound and determined to win back my salary.
At judgment time: the value of recordkeeping
With that in mind, when my annual review came around, I drafted a self evaluation that laid out the expansion of my assumed responsibilities. It took weeks to get it right (the price of doing a stellar job here is you never have personal time) but that was critical. That was Step Two.
We had a conversation about my performance over the year after my boss reviewed and responded to my write-up and no surprise, was very positive about everything. Step Three: Boss then wanted to know my expectations with regard to salary. Because of Step One: On notice.
The end result of that conversation was that, on the basis of my performance and my initiative throughout the year, using my write-up which was fully Boss-endorsed and the assurance that I expect them to Make Right, Boss secured a very healthy raise for me bringing my salary up to a less embarrassing, and more liveable level.
I still can’t afford to indulge, I’m still budgeting carefully and half that increase will be going to bills, the other half will be going to savings but it’s a step.
*****
I’ll admit that I still have been second-guessing myself a bit ever since, thinking that I should have stated a number or pushed harder for a better increase. I feel like I dropped the ball when asked what my expectations were. I didn’t give a number and I should have. I know why I didn’t; I was asked but it was phrased as “will you quit if you don’t get [insert outrageous number here] raise” and so my response wasn’t to set an expectation as a number, it was to say that I expect I will get a better than average raise but I’m not a hostage taker. (After discussing with a mentor, this was somewhat close what I was advised to say.) Still, second-guessing a bit. Also, I do wonder if that careful phrasing works differently coming from a male to a male VS. from a female to a male VS. from a female to a female VS. from a male to a female boss.
And part of that second-guessing is an emotional reaction because I’ve gone a year on a lowballed salary.
I’ve been alternately angry and embarrassed all year about accepting that original number even though I thought I had made my peace with it in the first place. In feeling the pinch, I felt like it reflected poorly on me in so many ways: that it diminished me as a breadwinner, that it prevented me from carrying my weight in this household, that I was a poor negotiator, that I’ve failed in my career aspirations and taken steps backwards. That has been a difficult cycle to handle this year on top of my health spiraling and needing to prove myself at work. I’ve kept it to myself until now, but I’ve not liked feeling this way one bit.
Objectively, what played out is not poor at all and in this economy, really good, in fact, and I’m appreciative of the effort Boss must have gone to in order to make that happen. And I have my sights set on the next goal.
So that’s Year One down. Hello, Year Two.
July 30, 2011
The sticker shock has worn off a bit, thankfully. I was just sweeping up Doggle’s fur and thinking about how it probably seemed like I was dwelling on the money of it, rather than the fun of the weekend.
A few reasons … this is where I talk about my money, I don’t talk about it anywhere else really. So I talk about the money first and foremost to get it straightened out in my mind where I stand. And when I’m tired, I worry. I worry in general, and I worry about money specifically. There was also some guilt associated with: how dare you spend money on fun? Which is, considering how hard I work to save all year, prioritize not-fun and everyone else in almost all other cases, etc., pretty silly.
I was particularly exhausted going into that weekend having worked something like 15 days straight right before so there was not a moment to prepare for the trip mentally. Obviously I had paid for some things in advance (airfare, 1 night of the hotel, our badges) and already had money saved for it so we didn’t come away in the red. The travel fund is whining, but only because it doesn’t like going to empty. (I hear ya, Bob.)
*****
This was also an unusual year. I’ve never started an SDCC so worn out in my life. I’ve been running at about 10% energy levels, now, and still push myself to do almost everything at 80 or 90% pace. I couldn’t do that in San Diego this year. I couldn’t be up and about at 6 or 7 am every single day, Wednesday through Sunday, and be on the go through sundown.
We spent a lot more time meandering at a much slower pace. We didn’t force ourselves to go to every single interesting panel, we didn’t get out of the hotel by 7 am like I would normally have insisted, I didn’t hit every single booth in every single aisle and browse every single discounted comic booth as normal. (I’m a little sad about that.)
But we met up with very lovely internet people, we met random other (famous or familiar) people, we collected very cool stuff, found a pile of excellent presents, every single one of us had at least one Very Cool Moment.
I must have had at least three.
Robert Starkings and Gabo of Elephantmen were extra excellent, sketching and signing all of my books at their booth and then giving me a hug when I was bouncing with excitement over the deliciousness of the art, and then taking a photo with me and their entire crew.
w00tstock was incredible. I was quite sad I didn’t get to see all of it but duty called to keep PiC from freezing on his quest to save me from heartbreak so I had to dash out. By proxy, though, the Sunshine Cthulhu that I doted on that weekend went to Wil Wheaton as thanks over the stolen e-book debacle & I was pretty tickled to hear that. [Not really my moment, it was just a Very Cool Thing.] I will definitely want to go again and enjoy it in all the glory.
I met up with an industry veteran I think I’m allowed to call a friend, and had a very good long chat with him. I was thrilled to pieces that he was honored that weekend with an industry award.
Pia Guerra, one of my favorite artists, was hanging out on Sunday and drew a fantastic sketch of (as requested) her favorite characters from Y: The Last Man. I’ve loved her work for years. Incidentally, also my favorite character.
Also, David Peterson, creator of MouseGuard drew an adorable sketch for my wee book and was a fabulously nice dude. He then won an Eisner that evening so it was really cool to be able to come back around and give him our congratulations.
Twitter made it possible to have a very random and sudden meet-up with people I’d wanted to see but had missed all weekend previously. That was Brilliant.
I loved how Ruth had never been to SDCC but so many more people knew/talked to her than me. It was fantastic fun having her as a Con buddy. Loved. It. I’m really going to miss having her. I want her back for next SDCC! I need the budget to make this happen, folks!
*****
Having home base to come back to was, as always, key to the decompression stage each night. That was different, too, and I think we could have used earlier nights but it was definitely the better choice for most of us rather than going out to all the night parties that were going on. I don’t think I could have survived Con Night Life this year. Watching it on Twitter was good enough for me!
Such party animals! 😉
Maybe in a few years … when I’m not … so old?
P.S. I almost caught a DebtHater this year! Next time ….
Adding:
July 27, 2011
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| The creepiest biggest Smurf ever |
Boyoboyoboy.
For weeks leading up to this mid-July jaunt I kept picking up pretties, and putting down pretties. I knew I wanted things, but I couldn’t sustain the wanting enough to buy them. It was just not there. As it turns out, this was A Very Good Thing.
My annual pilgrimage to Comic Con has never been such a banking bruiser. As usual, by planning ahead, we saved on our airfare a fair amount, using award tickets one way and sale tickets the other way. This was a hotel year as well, shared with two friends, with parking at both ends (hotel and convention site) coming out to $500 for five days and four nights for the two of us. Free cookies coming and going, though! *_*
Tickets for next year were bumped up a huge amount. Four day passes with Preview Night for adults are now going for $175. That’s up from $105.
This year, the officials held back a huge amount of tickets to be sold online due to having sold out entirely onsite last year. That makes sense – I think it was really unexpected and unfair for people who were not attending this year to have lost the chance to buy a full weekend pass for next year just because they weren’t on-site. But then they also set specific times and restrictions on how and when and who could purchase tickets for next year. In combination with the memory of an online ticketing system that fell on its face not once, not twice, but multiple times last year, that sudden perception of extreme scarcity led to a run on the tickets and people freaked out.
Lines formed at midnight for tickets that were being sold at 8 am, hell, lines formed the full day before the rest of the weekend because people didn’t trust the online sales system even though the whole point was to reserve tickets for online sales. It was ridiculous.
Even though I love this annual event, considering the insane hoops we were put through just to buy the tickets, I seriously considered taking our chances online because I hated the idea of letting the spectre of next year ruin this year. My crazy fiance was selectively deaf to my input on the matter even though this isn’t even his event.
Resentful of the crappy choices of camping out or risking not even getting tickets if the online system crawled up a drainpipe and died again, I even tried to tell myself (and PiC) that we could just choose not go next year. But the words wouldn’t creep past my throat and he wasn’t having any of it. Apparently, he could feel my future/potential heartbreak as well. Bless his heart, he even camped out overnight to make certain we would be able to have those badges in hand for next year before leaving this year.
 |
| Camping. Sweet butter, there was camping. |
We didn’t both stay out the entire night, I just stayed late and he stayed the rest of the night but we were toast the rest of the next day.
I did ever so much more shopping than I’ve done in years past, loading up on 60% off comics pushing myself right over the airline weight limit, and that after I’d emptied clothes out of the suitcase. All told, comics and various other goodies ran to the tune of $253.55. Nearly 20 gifts of varying sizes were in that batch, but for the first time, a few presents for us as well.
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| Wee Street Fighters! |
Considering I went in saying I wasn’t going to spend “much” but didn’t think about my budget beforehand – totally lost in my haze leftover from working days upon days upon days – and didn’t keep an eye on the running tally only recording my purchases as I went, it would seem we escaped relatively ok. Except. I count pre-registration for the following year in the year it was purchased ($350).
We spent, then, $603.55 at SDCC this year. Also, we purchased tickets for w00tstock, another $100, and contributed another $150 to the food budget for breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. Holycats, guys. The spending was spread across many months, starting from last year through this year,
Total: Way So Much. ($1500)
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| Oh, and I met Bruce Campbell! |
Plan for Defraying Next Year’s Costs
I’m reeling from sticker shock. We’ve never had to spend that much on a Con before, it’s always been under $600 including the next year’s tickets.
The airfare and hotel costs are the easiest targets. Between now and next year I can either concentrate purchases to earn hotel points or (probably the better plan) concentrate on earning points where I can redeem for hotel gift certificates which substitute for cash. Doubtful that reward bookings will be available during that seriously high volume time so the latter would be better.
The other option is to find a way to make $3500 over and above my usual income. $1500 for Con, $500 for taxes, $500 for savings and $1000 just to make myself feel better about this year. 😉
July 19, 2011
Poor Doggle.
He’s going to have to live past 22 at this rate to amortize the amount we’ve put into him this early on. We had to take him to the vet again because he’s exhibited some joint pain and I wanted to be sure there wasn’t an injury that was readily apparent to the vet that I was missing.
It turned out that while the pain was quite real, the vet couldn’t be sure whether it was a joint or soft tissue injury without manipulation under sedation and x-rays. He was in far too much pain to relax for that exam, but given his slow improvement throughout the week, I decided we would opt to treat with pain meds, ice and R&R for a few weeks first before committing to $500 worth of diagnostics.
Either way, we needed a good pain medication while he recovered even if it was just a minor injury because his discomfort hadn’t faded after a couple of days, even if the symptoms had improved a little.
If he noticeably declines in the next few days, or at any point during his prescribed bed rest, then we’ll just take him in immediately.
Happily, he loves his meds and doesn’t mind the icing at all. Strange pup.
Tallying up his tab:
This visit: $106
Doggle Chariot, split w/PiC because honestly, PiC’s been considering a new-to-us car for years: $5000
Month One: Coming Home: $835
July 14, 2011
Well. Now we’ve dunnit.
The situation: After setting the date for a car purchase in 2012, and swearing up and down that nothing was going to happen on that front until we had that settled, what happens? PiC finds a potential Doggle Chariot.
I was pretty frustrated with the thwarting of my financial plans. But then I decided that was a knee-jerk reason not to buy and self-centered to boot (my finances, my decisions) so I sat down with spreadsheets and crunched the numbers until I had a clearer view of where we both stand.
Financing was never an option, period. That’s not something I’m willing to compromise on – paying interest (unnecessarily) in order to defer payments means you can’t afford that purchase.
The Analysis: Considering our cash position, I didn’t really want to spend the money. [I know, when do I ever?] But the unwillingness was based on the fact that, if our finances were merged, our net worth would not be at a place that I would feel comfortable making a major purchase. But as we’re not married yet, the monies are not merged. And even if they were, discomfort or not, this purchase would not significantly hurt our big picture goals. True, it wouldn’t do us any favors for the year, and it will be a pain to juggle around cash for property taxes but, it wouldn’t actively put us in a bad position and I’ve also always been cash heavy so we wouldn’t be breaking CDs or other funds to pull this cash out.
From that perspective, if this was the right car, and if the seller accepted our offer, the amount could be under ten thousand dollars, paid in full, in cash, therefore not a financially disastrous decision.
We also don’t intend to carry three cars on the insurance so his car would have to be sold, and that would make up some of the purchase price.
Considering the wedding plans that aren’t coming along but would still need to be paid for at some point when it does come together, I was still on the fence, but agreed that we were in a position to at least look at the car in case it happened to be a well-maintained vehicle that was worth spending on earlier than originally planned.
Of course, the car was not only in great shape with low mileage, and much of the major maintenance had already been done on it early and the work checked out.
The Outcome: I should stop poopooing PiC’s Craigslist stalking, he managed to find the nicest people to buy a new car from. Not only did they accept a really good (for us) offer, they accommodated our needs for the various bits leading up to sale since we weren’t terribly close to each other and even had purchased road trip supplies for Doggle as gifts when the sale was finalized, knowing we were buying it for Doggle.
Now we’re able to have more than two people plus 1 dog per car ride, which is helpful. Most importantly, Doggle’s much more comfortable getting in and out of the Chariot now, and has more room to move around, although now you mostly only see his big head if you look in the rearview because he likes to be Right In The Middle. This is much better for his joints. He was always a bit scrabbly trying to get into my car and you could see him visibly heaving himself up into the backseat. Now he’s still leaping but it’s much more graceful and puts far less stress on his body.
My Realization: It’s still really hard for me to talk through major or minor financial decisions with adults and trust that they are open and willing and committed and going to make the right decisions. I can talk, but I can’t trust. It’s still an emotional imperative that I must be the one to make the decisions at the end of the day or suffer the consequences. Thanks, family. And I’ve always been hands-off with PiC’s finances, outside of sharing general (or specific if asked) information. This transition is a bit tough. But it’s something I’m working on.
July 11, 2011
A woodcut arrived in the mail today. No kidding, an actual piece of art, that is also a wedding invitation was delivered by the USPS, Lord love ’em.
It never fails to amaze me how much better people are at this wedding thing than I, with the use of natural materials, and embossing, and engraving and you know, scheduling. That stuff.
This isn’t about the psychology of how to really mess with other prospective or future bride’s minds via fancitude. I’m bemused by that part, and quite impressed, to be perfectly frank. I have no intentions of ever attempting to play in that pool because I’d immediately drown forthwith. (I keep stopping to pet the woodcut every few sentences. It’s that cool.) I think the only thing more pettable would be flocking. But maybe that’s just tacky? I don’t know …. Right. Digressing again.
This is an invitation to a destination wedding for which I would have to travel a fair distance.** On an island. A pretty island, where we have other friends as well. Oh and food, yummy food all around the island! And we like this couple quite well. So there are draws to going for a few days, not just for the wedding, to make the scary ticket prices worthwhile.
But obviously, since my thoughts trend in that direction, I’m not actually very close with either of them, though we have known them for a longish time and know them through PiC, and PiC’s not so close with them either.
At least, we’re not the kind of close where we saw the announcement or the invite and were online booking our tickets immediately because we wouldn’t miss it for the world. Not the kind of close where you would be surprised not to be invited. Conversely, we weren’t shocked to be invited either. In fact, I can’t say what level of close we are. We like them. We get along well with them. We enjoy their company. It’d be great to see them and raise a glass to their union. Is that what it takes to rate an invite?
I get that people often have the freedom to invite more people to a destination wedding because you know many of them won’t be able to make it. Although for something like this where you’re not *that* far away, you might not choose to go that route that if you’re hoping to control head count. I’m guessing that’s not so much a concern for them.
My ruminations on the matter range thusly:
Do you invite all and sundry you would enjoy the company of and wouldn’t mind/can afford to pay for at such a shindig knowing that those you care about will come, the rest are bonuses?
Do you invite only those you most care about, and do they understand an invite is a selective thing and therefore indication of belovedness?
Or does the 80% rule pretty much always apply however you slice the invitations? (Expect that 80% of your list will probably RSVP yes or show up.)
For this invitation:
We would expect to pay at least $1100 for airfare depending on the flight dates, we have been offered accommodations by another prospective guest but I don’t know what those dates span (our dates would be cheapest Thursday through Monday it seems). If we had to go for a shorter trip, airfare would be a couple hundred more, or we’d have to pay for a hotel room for the additional day(s). Either way, we would have to pay for food and drink for five days. That doesn’t include any other transportation in between, or other outings or activities.
Guesstimate Budget: Could run up to $2000 for 4-5 days.
I could possibly get creative with buying some miles to get at least one ticket nearly covered, possibly. Bring that down to around $1500 max. But I’m not sure how to fit this into our schedule, even, just a couple months away from our wedding if we have one. And I honestly don’t know how important we are to them. Feels like we should know this sort of thing but …. we don’t. Thoughts thoughts thoughts.
Open to the audience:
If you were in my sandals, would you be Kauai/Bahamas/Tahiti/tropical island bound?
If you were on the other side of the list, how did or would you curate your list?
** NOTE: I completely goofed calling this a destination wedding! This is a wedding that we would all have to travel for but the couple actually live there now. They moved back to this island a little while ago and I managed to forget this because they lived here for so long. Derp! I was also thinking of it in the sense of a destination wedding because so many of their friends over here were invited.
