About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
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February 2, 2010
Did you think I’d fallen off the wagon? The Minimalist one, I mean. I’d like to say I hadn’t but I did put the quest on pause for a while, I needed to catch my breath and just enjoy ownership for while before I picked up the momentum again. This time, due to a chance remark by a male (*cough* shoe whore! *cough) friend who claims I own more shoes than he, I’ve targeted … my shoes.
I’ve had a lot of shoe rules over the years:
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- They can’t make my feet look like boats. My feet are smallish so wrong-sized shoes just make me look like a clown clomping around looking for my personal Tokyo to stomp.
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- Room to wiggle my toes (in the closed toed category).
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- Not trendy – I wanted cute but also for them to last a long time.
- I had to be able to run in them. All of them. Just in case I ever encounter a creepy middle of the night, walking alone, something scares me scenario and then I have to outrun a serial murderer/survive a zombie invasion/catch a mugger/make it to Safe first.
Would you be surprised if not all of them met my last requirement?
Even with those rules, I’ve picked up some doozies of Bad Judgment over the years so I won’t show you the shoes that were just culled from the herd. Instead, I’ll show you the shoes that made the first cut. I’m setting new rules: comfort first, attractive second, and I can’t own more shoes than half my age.
My biggest problem with shoes is the same problem I have with all clothing. I have unreasonable expectations. I want a multi-functional,everyday shoe that’s comfortable and casual, but won’t look weird paired with jeans, black pants, shorts or maybe even skirts. In search of that perfect shoe, I kept buying Almost shoes. That is a LOT of money wasted on shoes that aren’t Keepers.
The shoe that I want, this Magic/Bond-like item, doesn’t exist and I have to accept that.
Instead, I’m now trying to shape the shoe-pack into a streamlined unit where a set of two or three pairs will see me through any sort of trip: the long weekend, a short week, a three week jaunt.
The workhorses: hiking, running, and trotting about town (3)
The casuals(6, 1 missing):
(My Rainbows are missing from this photo)
The fancies (7, 1 missing)
(My interview shoes are missing from this photo.)
Clocking in at a grand 17 pairs, even after rejecting another 7, I still have a few more than my accuser, but this is a good start.
A few thoughts now that I’m facing the collection as a whole: the MaryJanes may have to go soon. They’re fun, but not really age-appropriate. The silver ones I’m only holding onto out of sentimentality since they saved me well over $100 in bridesmaid shoes (4 silver shoe weddings). As long as my declaration of No More Bridesmaiding! stands, I won’t be needing them either.
What’s your shoe philosophy?
February 1, 2010
Shooo-eee, I can certainly spend when I’ve a mind to. Some blame to be placed on school and textbooks, and some on household expenses. I won’t go through the litany here because it just sounds like a bunch of hooey excuses. I’ve already got a few returns in mind (gifts never given), and a mental note says that quite a few of those expenses would have come out of the gift fund. If I still had one for the year.
This, by the by, is what comes of relying on the stock market for NW gains.
To make matters appear worse, I’m going to add another layer of transparency here. According to my spending tracking via the new spreadsheets, I only managed to stay out of the red with regards to cash flow thanks to the last minute arrival of some irregular income checks. It’s not fair to label that as a problem area yet, I knew that I’d be paying some (major) debits of last month out of this month’s cash flow. I didn’t anticipate some of the interruptions in the unemployment income.
Am continuing to bear down on the job search harder, looking out for more freelance opps, while doing justice to my schoolwork. And if the blog becomes an avenue for income, that’d be a-ok by me!
January 31, 2010
She changes by the hour. When she’s industrious, bustling around the kitchen, it might be in the guise of a young housewife eager to learn. Sometimes she’s the seasoned veteran barking at my dad for hovering nearby anxiously in case she should slip, trip or burn herself. Then she turns around and she’s confused and angry. Why has he been keeping her at home? She needs to go grocery shopping. She needs to buy things, anything, right now. Why won’t he take her? They didn’t just go that morning, she would remember if they had! He’s just trying to keep her prisoner. He’s just trying to hide money from her. Fine. Fine! Don’t take me, I hate you!
She sulks.
Then, slyly, she sneaks out the front door, racing for freedom. *pat pat pat pat* Her slippers slap the concrete and she makes good the escape and exults in tricking her captor. She stops to talk to the neighbor. Nonsense and gibberish pour out, the neighbor nods understandingly and pats her shoulder. As soon as Mom heads to exit the cul-de-sac, the neighbor knocks on the door: “She’s out again!”
Another weary race to hunt her down. This time she’s in a grocery store trying to sneak a toy past the cashier, that time she wandered into a strange neighborhood and couldn’t remember where she wanted to go. Still others she’s trying to find a park where she can play with the other kids.
“She’s getting worse,” my dad admits. “I’m struggling to keep track of her, I’m hardly sleeping, she can’t be left alone and everything causes a fight. Your mom’s getting worse.”
Her personality has morphed from a no-nonsense, hard-working go-getter to a fractured, broken soul. The fire that once burned in her, driving her from a dirt-poor childhood to leave her country, build a life from the ground up, raising two children and supporting an entrepreneurial husband’s morale and carrying more burdens than any single right-hand woman should have to … that fire’s still there. But it flares and sputters through a shattered prism of reality.
For the past three years, my family’s been struggling with the reality of living with a family member developing dementia. It’s the latest in a series of health problems, beginning with diabetes that went undiagnosed for years which led to a number of complications including high blood pressure, strokes, damaged eyesight, impaired nerve function. She also developed kidney problems, an inability to sleep, and neurological problems (constant vertigo, impaired judgment, short and long term memory loss). Congruent with my dad’s inability to hold a job and her guilt over my supporting the family, we added anxiety and depression to an already volatile mix.
Every day is a new struggle. It’s not just Sisyphean, trying to keep the boulder moving forward from day to day without letting it slip and crush us all; it’s also a Promethean epic of facing a rotating set of behaviors that range from destructive, to adolescent, to vehement worrying. She’s still a mother at heart, that instinct still lives but it lashes out destructively, pathetically, wishfully.
The woman I live with is my mom, but not really. This isn’t the person who raised me. But she’ll always be my mother so I’ll always provide for her.
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My dad’s suffering just as much from the depression and anxieties of being a full time caretaker as she is from being the patient.
He’s had to turn down job offers with a decent salary but no benefits because according to the Social Security folks, if he earns as much as $600 a month, she will lose all her disability benefits AND her medical care. The latter is critical because as much as I would prefer to purchase independent health insurance for her, no insurance company will touch her. Even if I could afford upwards of $1500/month, which I can’t right now, she wouldn’t be covered for any of her existing conditions.
Family members have counseled him to consider divorcing her so that he can separate his finances from hers and maybe start to dig himself out of this hole without causing her to lose all her care. He can’t wrap his mind around the thought; I can’t believe that my family has come to that.
Until I find a job that pays enough to make more permanent arrangements, it’s inevitable she’ll eventually need more than my dad’s care, I’m researching respite care options to give him a break.
Through the California Caregivers Resource Centers, I’m looking for respite care options. I’m willing to pay reasonable rates for the assistance – I don’t expect a free ride – but given how cash-strapped California is, I’m not sure that they’re even still offering services at any price.
For those in the Los Angeles area, the Los Angeles Caregiver Resource Center came very highly recommended by a local psychologist. They provide some excellent free services to caregivers of “adults with brain impairing conditions, such as Alzheimer’s disease, stroke, Parkinson’s and traumatic brain injury.”
Karen was kind enough to send me this link to this Help Guide for Understanding Respite Care. From there I found the Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA): National Center on Caregiving.
The FCA page provides links to the Area Agencies on Aging (AAA) which service the state on a county level. They’ve also got links to a number of other resources:
General Information & Assistance
Services for Family Caregivers
Services for Care Receivers Living at Home
Resources on Living Arrangements for Care Recipients
Government Health & Disability Programs
Legal Help & Advocacy
Disease-Specific Organizations
Family Caregiver Organizations
I’ve got the phone numbers for our local county, and will call to see what services are provided in this area.
As riddled with error, delay and obfuscation the county health system has been, I’m foolish to hope for better from the caregiving resources that are also state-funded, but that’s all I’ve got left right now. Just a little bit of hope.
That’s all I can do on this front for now, wish me luck tomorrow.
January 30, 2010
Hey hey, it’s Saturday! We’re reminiscing, updating and swooning over puppies today. You’re welcome to join!
My last report of getting better was a bit ambitious, I still sound like a warthog. I imagine that a warthog rumbles and coughs something like this anyway.
Remember when ….
phone calls at a phone booth only cost a quarter?
Or are you from the dime generation?
I’m from both. (35 cents)
Updates
Round One: Unemployment has run out this month, and I’m still in post-application, post-interview limbo, so Extended Benefits FAQ say:
Once you have exhausted your entitlement to your regular UI claim, you may be eligible to file the first extension. If you are eligible to file the first extension, EDD will automatically file the first extension and send you an additional Continued Claim Form, DE 4581. No action is required on your part.
Meh, I’m not terribly enthused about relying on someone else to take care of my business, but I don’t believe in universally painting everyone on the government payroll with the same brush so I’m going to shet up and fill my wait period of ten days landing a job so I don’t need the extension.
Settling accounts today …
Some invoices have been paid, others have not. Just in time to log some income on this month’s ledger before I show up terribly in the red!
Chegg didn’t deliver one of the books I’d ordered and it turns out I don’t need it anyway so that order’s canceled and a return processed ($56).
Meet the Boerboel South African Mastiff puppies [Ustream live here]
January 28, 2010
It’s official: I’ve been sick for over a week. Dear friends, I’m a terrible invalid. I whine. A lot. Between racking coughs, I whine and mentally grumble about how much money’s been wasted on those elephant pills that haven’t done a lick of good. The really gross, wild-cherry flavored Robitussin has finally alleviated the cough enough for me to cook again.
But this morning? The sun literally and figuratively came out: it’s gorgeous outside, and half my coughs don’t sound like a dying warthog. Glory be!
I’m getting back on the exercise horse ASAP. Every time I moved faster than a slow shuffle these past several days, I’ve keeled over with the cough so I’ve neglected the Daily Exercise Regimen sadly.
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Dogfood Provider linked to this beyond-awesome pasta sauce recipe posted at Smitten Kitchen.
I modified the recipe like so:
28 ounces canned diced tomatoes with peppers and onions
5 tablespoons butter
1/2 yellow onion, peeled and halved
Salt to taste
Combine the tomatoes, onion and butter in a heavy saucepan over medium heat. Bring the sauce to a simmer then lower the heat to keep the sauce at a slow, steady simmer for about 50 minutes. Stir occasionally, crushing the tomatoes against the side of the pot with a wooden spoon. Remove from heat, discard the onion, add salt to taste.
I actually didn’t add any salt as both the sauce and the butter contained salt. The rich, melty melding of flavors was absolutely perfect with the modified Garlic Lemon Chicken recipe. (Besswess, I used the juice of ONE lemon, ditched the herbs and rind, and baked with plenty of garlic. It turned out sans bitterness. Might be worth another go if that was your only objection.)
Sauce: $4, 6 generous servings
Chicken: $4, 6 servings
Asparagus: $2, 2 servings
Surprisingly my love affair with asparagus is suspended – I’ve got to find another veggie to round out the meals for a while.
January 26, 2010
I’m blushing right now. I’ve talked about dipping my toe into building a modest portfolio before. Bought my first set of shares, decided on a Watch List of about ten stocks with decent dividends and sat back to wait. I was waiting for: more money to spend, and lower prices all around. After all, I’d learned from my 10 share experience, right?
Nope.
I knew that Berkshire Hathaway was going to split the B-shares 50-1 on Thursday and that put individual shares within reach starting in the $60s per share. A little knowledge, my friends, is indeed a dangerous thing.
Kinda like Mapgirl, except I had the warning in her comment specifically about BRKB: I jumped too soon.
With just over $500 sitting in the account, it’s not like I was flush with cash but … *ducking head* I was bedazzled by the brand name of BRK.B and bought 7 shares. I know! I know! Of all the things to impulse buy! I’ve been seduced by a name and a deal. And 7?? What is that number about?
Feels like this is the beginning of a slippery slope, innit? The buying strategy for this investment account was to buy more than 10 shares at a time of a good company at a low price that paid decent dividends. Watch List, remember?
Ah well, not really. There’s a simple solution to that mistake. I have no more ready money.
Thus ends my foray into investing through the Trade King account until I scare up an income and have the cash flow to divert.
Ed Note: Yes, BRK.B is under $70 and has been since I bought the stock. Le sigh. I have no one but myself to blame. Myself and this horrendous cold that won’t go away.
By request:
January 25, 2010
Right on schedule, meaning a month into the year, I’ve put together my new handy-dandy budget tracking template for 2010. It sounds super fancy, doesn’t it?
Not at all. It gets simpler every year.
I have so many minor objections to the existing templates out there, and I’m almost positive that it’s because once you start tweaking a template, the temptation to customize the life out of it is irresistable. That way lies madness, you can’t ever stop thinking: this would be perfect if you just changed [insert one more thing you dreamed up overnight].
I used to love Pearbudget BUT….
The categories were too limiting.
I couldn’t make a note by every transaction so I’d be able to identify it easily.
I couldn’t add categories.
I could only add one item per day, per category.
I used to love MSN Money BUT…
They discontinued it as soon as I started using it.
It’s like account aggregators … everything is just almost good enough. So this year, I’m just opening up a new Excel Spreadsheet. The first page is the Monthly Summary.
And the following sheets will be 1 sheet per month with all transactions listed. Because I pay for any and all expenses with a credit card for easier tracking, I can easily access 99% of my transactions online. Much quicker than inputting from receipts, even though it’s really the same thing. Doing it this way also means I can ignore all credit card payments and bank transfers.
Most templates keep the summary at the end but I prefer to have the big picture numbers front and center and the drill-downs to follow. If I get really fancy, I might even figure out how to do more than just use the Sum function to total up the expenses.
I dropped off the tracking wagon mid-year in 2009, partially because of my travel, but the information that I do have is incredibly helpful in compiling my tax data. This year, I’ll keep records both on and offline so that I always have access to it and will always keep it updated. Pinky swear!
A few allowances were made in the creation of this new template:
- I agreed (with myself) to be more “big picture” about this version. Meaning, I’m not going to go back and reconcile six months of expenses and income just to get completely up to speed before starting this sheet. If I had to do that, I wouldn’t even get started! Barrier removed.
- I’m ignoring all the seasonal purchases (Christmas and birthday gifts, eating out), and lump sum expenditures (school related) of last month,
- But I’m not ignoring the irregular income earned last year and paid this year. It’ll even out within a few months. Again, big picture focus.
Suggestions for prettifying and formulizing are always welcome, Excel gurus!
