About sixteen years ago, I met him for the first time. My trainwreck sibling brought home this adorable puppy he had no business adopting because he had not one thing in his life that wasn’t a mess. I was furious at my sibling – he didn’t even take care of himself, how could he drag
Read More
March 8, 2010
No, I’m not getting ready for any major life change personally. It’s just that I’m failing to stay abreast of the tsunami of friends, friends of friends, and family friends getting pregnant and inviting me to every single baby shower, ever. Similar to the previous decade’s “We’re engaged (and we want you in the wedding)!” the watchphrase of the 2010s bodes well to be “We’re expecting!”
Then, inevitably, the baby shower. Most of them are thrown together clutches of women from separate circles of the mom-to-be’s life who are mostly there to compare gifts. I hate the cutesy games that always include a huge diaper pin or the ones where uttering the word “baby” is greeted with hoots and tallied throughout the afternoon. And the cooing. The cooing. I hate baby showers. I know, I’m a monster.
I love babies, I love showers, I even like baby clothes, and I’m very happy for the expecting. But let’s face it, your run of the mill baby shower is just awful.
And when you consider the outrageous cost of all things New Baby people register for, everyone else’s life events can easily run roughshod over your unsuspecting budget. You understand I love gift-giving, but I love good gift-giving. Lacking the yarn wrangling skills (which aren’t cheap) of Mapgirl and Mrs. Micah, I trend towards more practical gifts like clothing in a variety of sizes, plenty of bibs, feeding-related equipment, lotions and potions galore. You simply cannot compile a good baby gift using conventional methods and get out the door for under $100-200. And you know I’m not a get out the door gifter.
If we were only doing this dance once a year, I’d shut up and go along with it, but my cohort numbers at least 20 individuals, and I’m very very close with at least half of them which means I’m on the guest list for their friends and family. This decade, inclusivity will cost more than I can bear unless I “Adapt, Overcome and Improvise!” [Points to whoever recognizes which Eastwood movie that’s from.]
So how do I graciously deal? The same way I dealt with bridesmaiding: be creative and plan far in advance.
Stage 1: Baby clothes can cost more than my personal annual clothing budget, so I’ve signed up for Gymboree’s rewards program wherein I’m showered with coupons and sales notices. Twice a year, they have their Semi-Annual sale where clothes are marked down 50-70%, and combined with coupons and outlet stores, I’ll stock up on clothing for both genders.
Stage 2: Baby-related stuff, being unlimited to any season, doesn’t go on sale the way Christmas, Valentine’s Day or other annual holiday stuff does. So wrapping paper, bags, and tissue paper will be purchased in neutrals and well in advance of any shower invitation. Baskets are a great wrapping aid, and are usually most affordable when found at resale shops like Big Lots, Tuesday Morning or Ross and Marshalls.
Stage 3: My closest friends know that I’m at least financially nerdy, so I’m issuing a declaration that all gifts post-baby shower will be something toward their education. And then I’m either contributing towards the school fund or giving a modest cash gift.
Note: I buy clothing in mostly larger sizes the kids can grow into since most gifts are onesies for 6 months and under. I target 18 months and older and try to find them for $5 or less.
March 5, 2010
A common side effect of nomadism is that you’ve got to have online management down to a science. And that’s not usually a problem since I switched to Paperless Statements and Online Bill Payments eons ago. It is a problem when accounts just don’t show up at all!
My Chase Business checking, which I’ll admit was opened 60% for the account bonus and 40% for the actual account, disappeared from the Accounts page and I couldn’t say when I last saw it. This occurred to me when I was triple-checking my documents in preparation for dealing with income taxes. There was a small payment made through that account and for the life of me, I couldn’t find the electronic record of the transaction or the account.
Two phone calls and 20 minutes later, I discovered that instead of imposing monthly inactivity fees, Chase just closes these accounts without activity after 45 days!
Well then. I suppose it’s better than having to argue my way out of another fee (for my failure to read fine print, it seems), but no mention was made of this when I first opened the account and I had specifically asked about any inactivity or minimum balance penalties.
This isn’t a major imposition for me since I got my opening bonus and didn’t end up needing the account as much as I thought, but be careful!
Read your fine print, and make sure you know what’s going to happen to your bank accounts, credit cards, and other financial accounts when they’re over or under utilized.
I’m not the only one this has happened to, ChiTown of Windy City Blues lost her checking account as well.
March 4, 2010
The winner of the PearBudget Giveaway is …..
#9 Mrs. Money!
Congratulations and thanks to everyone who participated! I’m looking forward to the next round of giveaways.
I had to double-check the publication date on this article (sorry, original article is gone) after I read it through the first time. Though some of the information about how Millennials work and play is still valid, does this advice to employers on how to woo new Millennial grads, whose market this clearly is, still make sense?
……Shake your head if you wish, but this Millennial generation listens to their parents, and so have learned the lessons inflicted upon their parents. Both generations have learned that employers have little to no loyalty to their employees so they respond by showing little to no loyalty back. We may grumble and complain about Millennials being job hoppers, but let’s be honest: most of us would lay them off the first chance we got if our profits took a substantial downturn. They know that and act accordingly. If they are not treated well and offered the opportunities that the employer across the street is willing to offer them, then they will leave you before you have the opportunity to lay them off. So treat them like we should have been treating our employees all along.
Considering the recession, the astounding number of long-term unemployed, and the difficulty in getting a callback for one of dozens of deployed resumes even in a targeted search, this concluding paragraph to employers is at best misleading for current job seekers who might happen across it:
The Millennial generation is probably the most sought after, highly skilled, ready to hit the ground running generation ever to enter our workforce. We are counting on them despite their vastly smaller numbers to replace the productivity of the massive Baby Boomer generation. I believe that they stand an excellent chance of doing so because of the tools and talents they possess. But should they fail, I believe it will be due to the failure of Gen X’ers and Baby Boomers to adapt to the very different needs and wants of this remarkable generation.
It’s the employer’s prerogative to cater to the young’uns? Coming out of the recession or not, employment is a lagging indicator and has a long ways yet to recover. In the meantime, I’m pretty sure any employers reading this would simply nod while reaching for the next 4,000 resumes electronically stacked for their two positions currently open.
March 3, 2010
As always, every little bit counts! And as always, you’re welcome to share!
From the readers
eemusings: I just called my phone/internet company to get a late fee waived (Post office effed up and didn’t process my payment till after the bill due date…), which I assumed I would get slapped with. But apparently it’s all gravy. Woohoo!
@Tabitha2cute: My son went on class field trip to the library and needed a replacement card. He couldn’t get one w/o an ID (which he didn’t have) so his teacher had to check books out for him. I went after school to the same library. Unhappily so–and it was visible on my face. I told the librarian what happened and that I wanted to purchase a replacement card. When I asked how much it was, he said he wanted me to leave much happier than I got there so he was waiving the fee. I then took my card out to pay the late fees. When I asked how much they were, he said “you no longer have late fees.” I smiled and thanked him. I left MUCH happier.
Personal victories
Credit limit goof: I’d switched out credit cards for regular use some time ago. Well, I feel especially inept and dumb about this little screw-up. I knew this least-used card only had a $500 limit, as opposed to the $20K limit of my other Citi cards. BUT, since I wasn’t using the cards much and in the midst of dealing with one malady after the other, I completely forgot to call and request for a transfer of a credit limit from a retired card. Three swipes at the dentist and pharmacy later — $39 over credit limit fee. Because I went $5 over. AUGH.
The second I discovered the charge, I was on the phone. No love. Was cut off by the system twice after holding for 20 minutes. Sighed. Resolved to take my lumps because really, that was my own stupidity in forgetting to call and forgetting to monitor the spending.
Tried again the next day. The very nice CSR noted that I’d had a medical issue, waived the fee, and requested a credit limit change which went through in two business days. Whew. I felt particularly idiotic after that gaffe.
March 2, 2010
February was a tumultuous financial month, and I’m surprised that there was still some minimal progress made in the net worth growth. If anything I
semi-hinted at yesterday pans out, March will be equally tempestuous with lots of outflow and scurrying to create income to cover it. Which means: blog fodder!
Until then, my vow of Don’t Jinx Yourself pretty much means I’m keeping mum on a lot of fronts.
Taxes are filed — our accountant rose to the occasion and saved me from having to deal with my family’s financial complications. I always mean well but tax time is that time of the year I writhe in agony over dissecting my financial life, entangled with my family’s, and how that means I have to untangle their finances. It’s the one time I let my emotions get the better of me and ostrich myself with regards to money matters.
[By “rose to the occasion” I mean the family accountant called my dad with some tax suggestions before I asked the questions, and won himself my business for another year. I’m filing Head of Household again so that buys me a couple extra thousand in standard deductions and exemptions.]
Between the much reduced income stream, unemployment income (taxes were withheld), HOH filing and having prepaid a lot more in taxes than necessary, my federal effective tax rate is 10.7% and I’m expecting a rather large refund of nearly $1500. Combined with the less-large state refund, I’m going to have a nice lump sum in the Taxes nest egg. That’ll become my Car nest egg. I’ve whined on Twitter about hating shopping for a used car, and the next worse thing to that is having to finance a car.
Of course the PF wisdom is to always avoid a refund but at the end of 2008, I was more concerned about having to pay taxes (which is why I saved cash for it) and paying penalties to boot (hence the extra withholding). It wasn’t worth adjusting partway through the year once we found out that I wasn’t going to be employed post Q3 2009.
This month could have been a lot worse.
February 25, 2010
WiseBread’s Job-Search Romance post made me laugh.
No small feat considering how fraught with stress the job-hunt life tends to be, but the timing was just right as I’d just likened the post-interview process to dating in a private conversation:
If I call them before it’s “late,” when they were clear about their response timeline, I destabilize the dynamics. Post (what seemed like) a strong interview, they’ve got to make up their minds to want me. And if they want me, they’ll come calling, not just leave me hanging. If I have to beg them to want me, the chemistry wasn’t there and, by Jove, neither will it be in my favor for negotiations!
As Julie notes, “Often, there is little you can do to make the employer love you if you’re not the one.”
At the end of the day, do you want to have spent your time slaving for the affections of the one who just kind-of, sort-of liked you? Or do you want to have a dynamic, thriving relationship based on mutual goals and admiration?
Idealistic? Absolutely.
WellHeeled rightly points out, “a romance isn’t responsible for PAYING THE BILLS.” Of all people, I know that. But there’s at least a little room for idealism in the world. And there’s still some room in my budget to pursue a combination of that hope and my normal brand of pragmatism.
After all, if I don’t value myself as the proven high-performer that I have been, why should they?
Of course I want a job, but I don’t want just any job, I need a job that wants and values me/my work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Edited to add a link to a Forbes article: Why Job-Seeking is just like Dating
