By: Revanche
Bit of a spaz, really.
September 12, 2006
I was rereading Money Dummy’s I want to quit post.
Oh goodness, I remember reading this the first time around and feeling like “that’s me! But before the grad school thing. And minus the always being the best. I’ve always been hovering around the best people, trying to learn from them, and when I’m not around them, I sink to my usual level of dejected mediocrity.”
Yikes, and I thought I’d beaten that whole mentality. But I guess you can’t really do that, can you? You can’t really get away from your deepest fears of inadequacy.
Yes, I know, there will always be someone smarter, better, quicker, wittier and more eloquent. And I can’t always dismiss them as “Yeah, but they’re annoying.” [ah-HA! I AM still in sixth grade!]
But between training the new hire, knowing that she’s got the paper that I don’t, that I’m afraid to pursue, that I’m afraid to apply for, that I’m afraid to fail at, and not being anywhere near the secure position in life I thought I could create two years out of college, I’ve got my whole inadequacy brigade patrolling in full force.
What if? they say. What if they figure out, what if she figures out that you’re not nearly as smart, as vivacious, as interesting as you have to be to command her respect? What if she realizes that you’ve got nothing but sheer determination – which is running perilously short these days – and she leapfrogs right over your head to your next promotion? Or what if you can’t keep up with her?
Part of me says, well, then, she’s the better candidate.
But, but, no! I can’t just sit back and watch! No, obviously, I’m not sabotaging her learning or her training – that’s not ok. [I know that’s what fearful managers do, though, hurt their employees’s progress as self defense.] But that does mean that’s more pressure on me, by me, to get going, to forge ahead and not allow my personal fears dictate what I won’t do. The problem is, I still don’t know what I want to do.
I can’t be a genius when I grow up. So what can I be?
Yes, I can be remarkably insecure when stressed. But it doesn’t take being stressed for this Blogger to know herself. And I can’t help but think that one day my facade will be ripped off, my dignity left twisting in the wind. *shiver* Repeat to self: I’m not a fraud. I can do this. I’m not a fraud.
By: Revanche
Who was richer? Scrooge McDuck or Croesus? I’m just wondering ….
Daniel brings up a good question: Can Money Make the Stress Go Away?
And if so, how much would it take?
Of course we believe the money can make the “stress” go away, whatever it is in your life, to some degree. We wouldn’t be here bloggin’ away if we didn’t! The issue is substituting some key words to make it fit our philosophies: Can adequate [excessive] financial assets make financial freedom ours? Why, yes it can.
And? It can only do that if we choose to treat the assets in such a way that grows them, and if we choose to spend them in a way that doesn’t expend them faster than they can grow.
Let’s face it: none of us want to work a job we hate for 50 years, or TEN jobs we hate for 5 years, or any combination thereof. We want to do what we love and be compensated for it. And compensated well enough not to suffer in the doing of the thing we love. We also want to be able to live a little, or a lot, and make this life and work worth doing. And the way to do that is to secure financial freedom.
BUT
…..
financial assets do not a happy, stressfree life make. We do that. We do that by remembering that our assets are only as valuable as we make them, and that our net worth helps us landmark our journey to finding that freedom that allows us to work the job we want to work, to do the things we love, to take care of loved ones and to do it in relative comfort.
We can’t do that if our job pays us unroasted peanuts AND if we also don’t have any net worth worth speaking of. We have to preserve our financial capital to give ourselves freedom in life, not just to have a bunch of money to count [as it may look to those who think bloggers are just net-worth hounds].
I had a teacher once, in junior high, who taught computer classes. He was in his forties, balding, and one of the happiest men I knew, if he wasn’t yelling at you for your shoddy programming. He was there because he. Wanted. To. Be. He had already retired, in his 30’s, from the Pentagon as wealthy as he needed to be to work the rest of his life doing what he enjoyed doing.
I have NO idea what his net worth was.
No clue what his magic number what.
What I DO know is that he liked teaching junior high kids.
He liked teaching them how to program, even if they hadn’t a clue what and why they were doing what they were doing. And he could do it.
And that’s who I want to be when I grow up.
[No, not a man. Smartace.]
Aside from my personal thoughts on the hedonic cycle, MY question is: Can you make the money make your stress go away? [Because believe you me, if I COULD choose to be as wealthy as Scrooge McDuck, I’m not sure that I CARE about the wealth-related stresses. At least, I am pretty sure I could deal! 😉]
