Hoard and Purge, Spend and Splurge
June 19, 2008
Walking out the door, I caught myself glancing at my closet and assessing what kind of day it would be, and what outfits I could put together for the rest of the week. It seems my lunch organization is bleeding into other areas of my life.
It also seems like after being on a spending and splurging cycle for the last three weeks where I couldn’t stop the budget bleeding out on little things I’d normally control very carefully, I’m back to being content with what I’ve got, and even in the mood to go through and clear things out. Thank goodness!! I’m not into self-flagellation over this stuff, but it’s such a relief to be back in the right mindset that doesn’t undermine my efforts to keep it together.
While my personal damages weren’t on a large scale, it definitely turned into a hefty bill when combined with the insane gas prices. I think the gas expenditures have gone up to about $300+/month! I’ve been diligently trying to reduce other fixed costs to compensate, but I’ve been spending like I have money: going out, the trench coat ($23), going out to lunch last weekend ($10), new shoes ($11), buying a graduation gift for a work friend ($24), and having to give my cousin a fat $50 check for graduation. In short, enjoying life a liiiiitle more than I can afford.
Ok, that last one was not negotiable, I’m the only cousin who came to the graduation and it’s only fair that I give him what I gave his sister. It’s a family tradition that at least one older cousin will gift the younger cousins a check for their graduations.
It might not seem like much, but when the budget’s stretched tight, it makes a difference. The end of the splurge cycle comes none too soon, because I hate the feeling of treading to keep my head above water.
I had to wonder, why is it so hard for someone who is normally so at peace with being frugal to break out of a spending/splurging mentality? Sure, I figured it was temporary, but heck, I felt like I was in the grips of a six armed bear for a while! I knew I needed to NOT spend money, but there was always a reason that overrode my “Uh, well, you don’t have the budget for that …” hesitation.
And if it’s this hard for me? When I’m accustomed to self denial and maximizing returns and stretching every resource to cover the necessities? Heck, I spent half an hour deciding whether or not to get a haircut this week. Then I realized that after spending over a hundred dollars I shouldn’t have, I should pass on my $14 cut. *sigh* How incredibly hard must it be for people who haven’t had to practice this?
You’ve just described my feelings about overeating. I tow the line for a few weeks, feeling virtuous, and the cravings seem to stop. I think, “Hey, I can DO this!” And then, just as I’m starting to see real results on the scale, I suddenly binge for no good reason!
But I don’t think your spending was bingeing. Mostly, it was due to bad timing: the month of June. The scheduling of the graduations was beyond your control. The other purchases (shoes, trench coat, etc) were things you had already identified as wardrobe needs; sometimes, you have to take advantage of a good opportunity when you see it, even if the timing isn’t good. (And if you REALLY think they were splurges, you can take them back and get your money refunded … though that would probably not be justified when you consider the cost of gas.)
p.s. Thanks for sending me your new addy. I’ve been “bingeing” on your recent posts and didn’t gain an ounce! š The new blog title en francais is so appropriate! But I thought that “gai” means “chicken” (as in Moo Goo Gai Pan) in at least one Chinese language! I love the concept of Gai Shan, though.
susan: I guess this struggle is applicable to all of us, in some form or another, even when we’re not actively feeling deprived.
Since the purchases were small, I don’t feel quite as bad as I might, thank goodness. I just have to get over *this* hump by being really quite careful the next few months.
š I try to guarantee fat-free posts, but every so often ….
In this case, if I could write the character that forms this version of “gai,” I believe it would be a different character than the one that means chicken. But if it didn’t … well, I do love chicken! ;D