Are we smug bastards?
April 3, 2009
My eyebrows still haven’t crept back down from my hairline after reading the positively dismal comments on FMF’s article posted over on Consumerist.com: 50% Of Americans 2 Paychecks Away From Having Big Financial Problemos
I knew that some people took exception to financial advice, but didn’t realize that there were people who took personal finance axioms so personally. At first, the comments started out fairly benignly, with understandable exasperation at uncomfortable or tight living circumstances. Been there, you know?
Saboth: I’m actually surprised that it isn’t “0 paychecks”. Most people I know barely have enough money to pay their bills currently.
edwardso:@Saboth: Sadly I am one of those people, between rent, student loans, credit card utilities I can only save about $50 per month and most of my friends (1-2 years our of college) can’t even save that.
Then people started getting agitated:
nakedscience: Seriously, ThickSkinned. People just go, “SAVE! You have to SAVE!” acting like it’s easy — but it’s not. Especially if you barely have enough money month-to-month to cover the bills as it is! This is especially true for people with kids, or for those who were doing fine, got sick, then lost their jobs or something.
Not all of it is because people are irresponsible. Some people just can’t get above water enough to save.
But at some point, it took a plunge into outright anger and labeling the presumably financially responsible as “smug bastards.” To whit:
edwardso: I can’t wait until some smug bastard gets on here and proclaims that they pay off their credit card every month and make x amount of dollars through bonuses or remind everyone of how much they would save if they canceled cable, used prepaid cell phones, etc.
jake7294: @edwardso: So true…we already have the “I pay myself first” and “when I get a raise I put the increased income in savings” comments
Yikes. Yes, everyone’s having a tough time. But after working my tushie off to overcome many major obstacles (ie: major health problems, business failures, family bankruptcy, supporting a household), it’s unsettling to see such vituperative comments skewering the fiscally aware. Actually, I think it’s gross.
That energy could be channeled towards something more productive, like, say, learning. Fine, being told “save” isn’t helpful in and of itself. But it’s a basic concept: if you want the products of saving, ie: money to spare and not living paycheck to paycheck, then you have to save. Unless there’s a whole other world that allows reaping the benefits of saving without actually doing it. I sure don’t live there. I’d love to! I had to sweat through endless trials to create a situation where I could save and pay my bills on time. And don’t think I don’t understand catastrophic situations while trying to build a career. Flip through the archives. That doesn’t even include the years I spent putting myself through school and food on the table. It’s been 9 years of working since high school, 17 if you count the years of unpaid labor at my parents’ business, and many more to go.
There is a way. Do not dismiss those of us who made savings, and paying bills on time, and not carrying a credit card balance a priority in our lives. Maybe there are a few who were born with silver spoons in their mouths, but by and large, it’s work, dammit. It’s sacrifice, and making choices, and being mindful, and exercising willpower. It is NOT easy to reach the point where we get to be referred to as “smug bastards” for paying ourselves first. And those with silver spoons? Still don’t deserve to be called bastards.
FB makes a wonderful point in her recent post Forget Earth Hour? about taking control of your money, and the predominant attitude of those who rely on denigrating others and complaining about their less-than-legitimately “poor” circumstances:
Not only that, I find it strange to be proud of being cash-poor, broke, overdrawn, maxed out and generally penniless working paycheque to paycheque.
Maybe it’s just a mechanism for people to nervously deal with what they know is a hot financial mess.
The principle of saving, and the people who point it out or live it, is not the problem here. The problem lies in a situation you’re not happy with. That cries out for a solution. Ask questions, ask for help and be willing to figure what part of that help is applicable if you want an answer. But don’t put us down because all you see is the end result of countless hours of toil.
There are as many ways to find help as there are to save. Heck, I’m sure if you were open to any of the PF bloggers so forcibly disdained, some of them might even have some useful information. If you ask.
I’m a big fat smug bastard. j/k
Thanks for linking to me. And you.. put it so eloquently (with such big words.. SUGOI!).. that I feel as though you should edit all my posts from now on š
Sometimes I think that there can be the smug bastards who brag about their habits and are completely unaware of the priviledges they have. I try to remember that not everyone has as much disposable income as I do. I know that some people really do struggle to save. But not everyone.
Some people are unwilling to make the hard decisions. If their bills are too high, it doesn’t occur that those are ripe for decrease. If your rent is too high, you can move – most people don’t actually consider this to be an option.
I just feel that people making those kind of comments know better, they just don’t want to/don’t know how to fix their situation. So what’s the natural response? Blame it on others. People who don’t like to take responsibility, always blame things on others. I do sincerely feel bad for those who cut out everything in their lives and still can’t save, but where there’s a will, there’s a way!
And I also think for some of those people, they only now realize the need for an EF and want to have the full 3-6 months in their accounts RIGHT NOW. Hence it seems impossible to save. They don’t realize that it takes a while to save up that kind of money, months, even years.
It took me over two full years to get my efund, and it still is maybe just 7 or 8 months of expenses, not a full year. Imagine if I had a lower paying job and could save even less. I agree with LA daze that a full efund seems like too high of a goal, so they freeze.
Not everyone can become a smug pf whiz, but EVERYONE can do something to improve their current situation. And then, just take it from there. Orrrrr whine about the rest of us who worked hard and were frugal all the while.
I just did a big pic of my Monthly Cash Flow and Assets/Liabilities. And while I pay my bills and have money to feel comfortable each week I am grimly close to sinking if something were to happen.
Its a scary thought. But if you look at the good that comes out of everybad… well, then maybe I can just do something about thee potential grim situation before it happens. š
YEAH! you tell ’em.
i feel like most people made some bad major financial decisions in their past (large student loans, buying a new car, more house than they can afford) and then complain that they can’t save. OF COURSE they can’t, not the way they’re living now. It will take some major life overhauls to be able to save in those situations. Look, maybe you didn’t know better, but YOU got yourself into the situation. don’t complain when you have to pay the piper. ! PF starts at home, it starts before you buy your cars or house or apply for the fancy college. Most don’t realize that. they want to live their lives the way they want, THEN also be able to save. We, pf bloggers, know it’s about priorities. they have a long road to travel before they get that.
I know others have legit excuses for not having enough to save (medical problems, etc.), and some of it is just the luck of the draw, but i’d bet the majority just need to WAKE UP. It IS hard work, it DOES mean that you need to constantly be aware of where your money is going, and it means that you have to deny yourself sometimes. Americans esp. don’t want to hear that–we want everything right now, with a one or two-time effort on our part.
it’s just sour grapes, Revanche. like a marathon winner, you’ve earned the right to show your medals (your savings cushions). in your case, you’ve managed to run your race with a couple of weights around your leg!
some people’s ‘smug’ is another person’s inspiration. it’s all how you look at it.
Well some people are just negative and lazy and prefer to be able to blame someone else for their situation – I’m not saying that people in a bad financial situation are lazy neccessarily but those that make these kinds of comments are. Or maybe they are intellectually lazy and grew up hearing that kind of thing and never thought any other way…
I was a little surprised by the vitriolic responses here. I have felt that way from time to time, but more in a blowing-off-steam kind of a way. I’d never write that stuff and I’d certainly never call anyone as smug bastard. There are, perhaps, PF bloggers who are smug and have had a lot of luck merely in the fact that they haven’t experienced bad luck.
That said, yeesh!
My husband and I both have medical problems. Right now, I’m working very part-time and he’s not working at all. Who knows what will happen? But I know that he’ll find a way to work, at least part-time. And I have a strong work ethic. Eventually we will get out of debt. Eventually we will have an emergency fund. Eventually, we will even have savings.
The biggest thing is to remind yourself that you’ll probably never have it quite as easy as the couples with two hefty incomes. It will take longer to save less. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
We live more expensively than I’d like because of the health problems. It limits my ability to always get to the cheapest groceries at the right time, both of our ability to cook as much as we “should.”
That said, we still continually find things to cut. I have yet to meet anyone who couldn’t cut something. There are some out there. Definitely. Especially people with kids who are making minimum wage.
But the biggest problem seems to me to be this: overindulgence after deprivation. Most of us get so burned out that we go a little too far with the funds when we finally get them. It’s what keeps a lot of poor people poor.
The fact is: Few PF people are smug. And those that come across that way, you’re probably reading into it. We’ve all fought long and hard to get out of debt. Some are lucky enough to have higher incomes to make it go faster. And not all of us got into debt in fun ways, which worsens our bitterness. My husband and I mainly got in debt trying to keep our heads above water. But around $2,000-3,000 is probably a tad too much frivolity. Aforementioned burnout.
But you can’t get into the habit of begrudging other people’s lack of bad luck. It’s bad for the soul (you’re essentially wishing suffering on others) and it’s bad for your attitude (everyone else has had it easy).
FB: š But of course!
I’d be happy to edit posts but your writing is so much more accessible than mine!
paranoidasteroid: Yeah, I think there are a few smug’uns in just about every genre who don’t recall that others are not in the same boat. It’s just as bad to tar all PFers with the same brush.
L.A.Daze: That’s the feeling I got.
stackingpennies: Absolutely. I’m not even sure what the qualifications are to become a PF whiz, but that’s not necessary to make a real difference in our lives. All that should matter is improving your lot, and helping others do the same if you’re able.
But yeah, whining’s a lot faster and easier.
McCarthyCOH: That IS scary, but it’s great that you’re able to see where the holes are now before you find yourself in the sink! š
Sense: š There are definitely legit reasons, but sooo many more not-so-much. It just gets my goat for someone to dismiss everyone’s struggles as though they were simply handed debt-free lives.
mOOm: Re: intellectually lazy, yes, I agree. Repeating the gripes of others seems to be an accepted substitute for thinking about how to institute change.
Abigail: I had you and Tim in mind when I was thinking about this post, as well as my parents. Burnout definitely happens. As does that entitlement mentality.
At the end of the day, we’re still all responsible for both our action or inaction.