By: Revanche

Weddings in the time of fixed incomes

May 26, 2011

The average American wedding is said to cost in the neighborhood of $25,000.  The average Asian wedding, of all the weddings I’ve helped to organize, are in that neighborhood as well, if not more depending on your guest list.  We may not have too much set yet but I can tell you this much:  that’s not happening.

It’s actually sort of funny that we’re caught in between the weird expectations of both. We have gently corrected people from all sides of the equation: no guys, we’re not throwing a big American-tradition wedding because we don’t actually have to live up to everyone else’s expectations. No, guys, we’re not throwing a Gigantor Asian wedding because we don’t actually have to.  We’re not inviting many members of my family and depending on our guests to subsidize the bill.   (To clarify: Dozens of family guest lists have been created by the phrase “who cares how many people are there? They’ll pay their own way.” I am happy to be an anomaly.)

We’re setting our own budget and paying our own bill out of pocket.  And doing it our way.  #utterlyforeign

You all know that a budget was certainly the first thing I’d want to do before we committed to anything. Still is, since we’ve only talked about plans in theory and the only thing we’ve I’ve spent on so far is a dress that I expect to return to J.Crew returned to J.Crew.

PiC, however, is not addicted to personal finance, nor a PF blogger, so found my need to laser-focus on immediately carving out savings goals disconcerting.  I don’t blame him, though I did pout for a minute. 😉  Things are different now that we’re becoming more and more bonded – we move more slowly than I’m used to and I can’t make all the executive and financial decisions in a split second.  The flip side of that change is that I no longer bear all the burdens alone.  It’s a fair enough trade, I think.

I digress.

I’m working with a skeleton number mentally and that’s actually ok for now.

We’ve noodled our guest list. It’s not final but it’s down to 180 which is near miraculous considering what we were starting with.  We’re happy with the concept of a tiny ceremony and a casual lunch type meal with the bigger group of people we’d invite (and therefore feed).  Pictures are important to him, and by extension, me, so we’ll have to hire an actual photographer.

With those factors in mind, the three most important items we’ll have to worry about are: setting a date, booking a venue, and booking a photographer.

I’m aiming to keep our total cost within the $7000 range.  I’d like to make it a challenge to myself, but I’ll be honest with y’all, I’m a bit worried I won’t be able to do it.

Obstacles: 
Feed 180 people delicious food,
Hosting them in a relatively nice, clean (not relatively), place,
      Caveat: Homes and backyards are not an option, we don’t know anyone with that capacity
Have great photos.
Do it all without stressing overmuch. **
Have I missed anything?

** Being annoyed doesn’t count.  It’s not allowed to count. 

We’re pricing things out now.  The little things are easier.  A marriage license: $100.  Dress alterations: $ UM. Airfare to SoCal before the wedding: Southwest Rapid Rewards!  <3 The big things, they’re negotiable. It’s a start.

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