Money Goals: I have a problem
July 13, 2015
I keep moving the finish line. I’ve admitted I have a problem before but now I’ve caught myself in the act.
Adding up our net worth, I realized we were 85% of the way to a major milestone. It happened a lot faster than I was expecting to be. We’re not right on the edge of there yet and I don’t know off the top of my head how long it will tale naturally but it’s in sight.
My breath stopped for a full 30 seconds as my brain went into overdrive: what could I do to force that number to hit the 100% mark? And considering the generally slow creep of increases each month, how much time could I shave off the previous ETA?
Explaining my bouncing tapping fingers to PiC, in the same breath as declaring us close to Milestone 1, “but then I need to figure out how to deci-uple that!”
Look at that! From meeting Milestone 1 straight on to Milestone 10, without a pause for breath, celebration, or even Milestones 2-9.
I have a problem. That’s the first step right? I’m addicted to hitting goals. I’m addicted to saving money. I’m addicted to self validating by meeting expectations.
I can never exceed expectations because the second I’m in shouting distance of a goal, it becomes the first of ten other goals. If I don’t have ten other goals? No problem, my next goal is to come up with ten good ones.
This is pretty much exactly the same impulse as my shopping problem. Got a cookie? Great! What’s next?
I need to learn to stop and savor the moment. Wait, I need to actually reach the moment first and then savor it. And not immediately be staring at the horizon scanning for the next flag to capture.
See? I told you PiC was good for me. If it weren’t for him insisting on celebrating, ever, I’d never even recognize my problem.
Oh, I know this feeling so well. I had a major milestone that I wanted to hit by the time I was 30, and I somehow managed to hit it when I was 28. Coming up with another realistic milestone after that was all I could think of – I hardly stopped to celebrate at all. It’s so important to pause and really think about how far we’ve come, but it can be hard to do that for goal-oriented people, I think.
Anyway, congratulations on getting to 85%! You’ll be at 100% in no time, I bet. š
Congrats on hitting it 2 years early! Yes, I think it’s hard to sit around thinking of how great it was we hit Goal A if you thrive on the actual work that goes into hitting the goal.
I’m not sure that problem is “fixable”! https://nicoleandmaggie.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/ambition/
You might be right…
I know just what you mean. As soon as I get close to a financial goal, I decide that it was too easy and jump to the next goal. It is hard to let yourself appreciate your hard work, buts its something I’m trying to get better at! I find that building in a little reward at the beginning (i.e. telling yourself from the start that when you reach your goal you get to do X or buy Y) really helps!
I keep trying that little rewards thing but I fail at thwarting myself. Or thwart my attempts at thwarting myself. I immediately think “well, if my reward for finishing this is one comic book, three are better so I should do THREE things!”
I suffer from the same problem. I don’t necessarily celebrate, but I do spend more time reflecting on the accomplishment. Congratulations reaching 85%!
Thanks! I think that might be best I can aim for – a little more reflection before revving the engine again.
I never think of myself as being goal-oriented, but I guess I sort of am. I don’t think in terms of goals, I just sort of float along until some idea captures my attention (I want to go on vacation! Where? Let’s see…there’s a good deal on travel to Spain in 2 months so I’m going to plan a trip now! I want to move to CA! I’m going to make that happen this year! Etc.)
I actually have a hard time planning steps 1-10, too, though. For me it’s more because I get an idea for a goal and I want to work on just that goal intensely and then go back to floating/resting for a while. (Except it’s not really floating/resting, it’s more about letting my voracious mind gather all sorts of seemingly disconnected information until something tickles it the right way and then…WHAM!…I’ve latched onto the next thing to do!) I think that leads to one of my frustrations at work. I’m supposed to do all this project planning and reporting regularly and I’d rather just work on DOING stuff.
I can very much relate to that feeling. While I am a planner and stay on top of things-er, that doesn’t mean I want to waste time on doing that regularly. I want to get things done 95% of the time and report 5%.
Tim has to scold me about this sometimes. He reminds me that we have money in our account which is a damn sight better than a lot of people. And if our progress isn’t as fast as it should be? Progress is still happening.
And I’ll have the same problem that you do once we have enough for his dental implants. Then the goal will be a huge IRA contribution to help make up for lost time. And then increased mortgage payments. It’ll never end, and I’m never happy until I can see a couple of goals in the rearview mirror…. while barreling toward the next one.
I suppose, given our circumstances, it’s a darn good thing we’re so intrinsically motivated or we’d roll over at the sight of the next thing to do.
I do this all the time. Not just with financial goals, but with life goals. I’m always onto the next thing before I celebrate what I’ve just done. I do think my partner is good at helping to slow me down and realize I should celebrate my accomplishments once in a while.
It’s so good for your partner to be your balancer, isn’t it? If nothing else, PiC has been great at getting me to appreciate life amidst all the goal setting and stuff.