My kid and Team Puppy: Notes from Year 1.2
April 20, 2016
Puppy-in-training
LB will stop dead in hir tracks whenever Seamus gets his dinner. These days, it’s less the calculating “Can I get there in time to see what he’s eating and grab a handful?” and more of a thoughtful, head cocked, wheels turning in hir head expression. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that ze is now experimenting with eating face-first or carrying hir plush toys in hir mouth. Also I think ze has now established that dog kibble is not actually a super treat. The hard way, of course.
The Negotiator
This kid can count like a dog can count. When I pull out crackers to share, ze gets one and I get one. Except not. Ze stuffs hir cracker into a cheek and immediately flings out a chubby, imperious hand to demand the other.
When offering hir one of two toys, ze maneuvers so that ze accepts one and then swipes the other one before you have a chance to pull it back.
Ze will accept offers of trade, except it’s a bait and hook scheme. Ze offers me an item, clearly wanting what’s in my hand, and then refuses to relinquish the proffered toy. The toddler always wins.
Food is good, unless it’s not
Even as ze is more opinionated about having to examine all food that goes into hir mouth, most of it is eaten pretty happily. Most rejections are of the Eh boooooored variety in which case it goes over the shoulder or is casually dropped down by hir side. Life’s too short for boring food, I guess.
We share meals with LB, ze doesn’t get a special meal or special preparation beyond cutting up spinach so ze doesn’t choke. And like Seamus was extra motivated to take his medication as soon as Doggle started cruising by and asking for some, it’s motivated hir to eat more and better through the conviction that I’ll eat hir food if ze doesn’t.
I will.
And it’s great.
Su comida es mi comida
Last month, my food in my bowl was hir food for hir mouth. Now ze is insisting that what ze eats, I must eat, pointing hir fork at me with an insistent “ey!” Ze is slowly learning “no thanks” because ze already knows the command for “put it in YOUR mouth” so the two of them together means I won’t be eating that twice-slobbered banana please, thank you, and ewwww.
Yes, I said “command”. Ze is like a puppy. These are useful commands.
Give it up, puppy
Ze demanded the orange slice I was going to eat. Fair enough, I’d stolen it from hir bowl in the first place. Ze held it flat on hir palm then SQUEEZED! as if to say “I just didn’t want you to have it.”
The juice splattered everywhere and one stream hit hir right in the eye.
Never try to dominate Mom. The universe is on my side, kid.
Independence
You know that feeling when someone’s doing a thing that you can do much better but you have to sit on your hands because they’ll never learn if you do it for them? It pays off. After months of practicing pincher movements and accidentally flinging food over hir shoulder, ze can steer a small spoon with its contents into hir mouth AND pick up the crumbs that didn’t make safe landing.
D’aww, puppy baby! When did you start practicing self-feeding + self-cleaning with LB?
We started letting hir try to feed hirself around 8 or 9 months and it’s been a disaster zone ever since. I vacuum every day š But if you’re good at restraining yourself and go with it, it’s not that bad.
heh heh heh heh! What a circus!
Has ze learned that ze can feed the pooch from hir high-chair? On purpose, that is… Not yet? Watch out! š
Ze is pretty sure this is possible, but Seamus knows that I think it’s amazingly rude to hover around humans when they’re eating so he’s never in reach and ignores dropped food. He’d better, after the raisin incident!
Kids really do need commands, otherwise they run into the road and forget to breathe during temper tantrums. I can’t tell you how many times a day I tell Kenny, “You must breathe now!” I also say a lot of, “You must practice self control!”
Ah ha, I knew there was a good reason for it!
Our neighbors also use “Make better life decisions!”